12. Leo
That session went better than expected.
I didn’t think she would agree with writing a letter to her sister since talking about Stephanie is a touchy subject. I am beyond proud that she agreed to this.
I’m hoping that she doesn’t decide to toss it in the trash once it’s written. If she mails it out, it could be the closure her sister, and maybe Veronica, needs.
Instead of returning to my room after wrapping up work in my office, I took myself outside for some fresh air. As soon as my foot passed the threshold of the main door, ringing blared from my pocket.
Looking at the name, I groan with annoyance. Myles seriously has the worst timing. Yes, he is my best friend, and I love talking to him, but I want to relax.
To sit by the water and clear my head. Ever since Scarlet mentioned that was what she did after a long day, I’ve been itching to sit by the lake.
Did it have anything to do with the fact Scarlet might be out here? Possibly.
Ignoring his calls is an option, but then again, that means I will have to ignore all the other ten times he calls me, not to mention the thousands of text messages he will end up sending me.
“Perfect timing, as always.” I greet him as the phone presses against my ear. I attempt to keep my tone light. To hide the agitation behind the fake joking.
“Shit, are you in the middle of a session with your hot patient?” he questions, making Veronica”s face pop into my head.
“I never said she was hot.” My eyes roll into the back of my head, along with an image of her.
“You said she was pretty, which could be a better way to compliment a woman than saying she is hot.” He points out. “What about the nurse? Have you talked to her more?”
Kicking a small rock out of my path, I say, “We talked briefly in the hallway the other day.”
“Oh, my God.” Myles exaggerates his words. “Why does that sound so damn professional?” He sighs before he mimics me, “I talked to her briefly about wanting to stick my dick inside of her. She agreed, and then we shook on the business deal.”
“Dude, I said nothing like that to her.” I chuckle at his obscene imagination.
“Why the hell not? You think she’s attractive. She clearly thinks you are attractive. What’s stopping you?”
“Maybe the fact that we work together and I don’t want to make things weird?”
“Awe, fuck that, man!” Myles grunts. “I’ve slept with some of my coworkers. Things weren’t weird after.”
“Well, that’s you.” I round the corner of the building, the massive lake coming into my vision.
“Doesn’t she work at a different level or something than you?”
“Ward.” I correct him.
“Whatever. If you fuck her and it isn’t good or you aren’t feeling it after, then you will barely see her. It’s not like you work together all day, every day.”
He has a point. Not that I will admit that. Between the time we met at the party and the conversation in the hallway, we hadn’t seen each other since. If things were to get messy, would it really be that awkward after?
“Get out of your head, man.” Myles”s voice breaks me out of my thoughts. Reading my mind like he always does. “There are no rules about banging your coworkers.”
“I can not believe you just used the word banging. What are we, back in college?”
“Apparently not! The Leo I knew in college wouldn’t have hesitated to go for a piece of ass.”
Sighing, I approach the lake; the tiny shred of hope in my chest, thinking Scarlet would be out here, deflates. The wooden bench is empty. Take this as a sign you shouldn’t get involved with her. Helping myself to a seat directly in the middle, I gaze at the dark water.
“Myles, people change after college.”
A long exhale comes from him this time. “I know, but... all you do is work. Eat, sleep, drink, and work. The only time I saw you let loose recently was the two times I dragged you out before you left.” A beat of silence. “I don’t want you to miss out on your life. I get you need to be professional; I do, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun occasionally.”
“Fuck, man. When did you get so wise?”
He laughs. “Your mom taught me a thing or two when you’d take me to visit for holidays. She always gave me life advice when I never asked for it.”
“She tends to do that.” I think back to all the days in college when I would take Myles back to my family for holidays, seeing how his family was shit. “And her advice is always great.”
“I learned from the best.” His voice fills with pride.
Would it be so bad to let loose and have fun? That is the question I should ask myself, but then there is another question lurking in the back of my mind, attempting to push forward.
Who to have fun with?
I shove the tempting question out of my head and lock it up tight. I won’t allow it to surface.
Would it be stupid to have that fun with someone I work with? This topic shouldn’t be making me frantic like this. We are talking about sleeping with a girl. I’ve slept with plenty.
Why the hell am I acting as if this is the first time? Like I am about to lose my virginity, for fuck”s sake. Sliding my hand down my face, a sigh of defeat pushes past my lips.
“Is that the sound of someone giving in?” Myles breaks my concentration, but I hear footsteps behind me when I am about to respond.
With the phone against my ear, I peer over my shoulder to see Scarlet approaching me.
I mutter under my breath, “Goddammit.”
So much for taking it as a sign.
Even though she was the topic of conversation and who I wanted to be sitting with on this bench, she can’t be here right now. I need more time to think about what Myles said.
To come up with a way to bring the idea up to her without sounding like a complete douchebag. Is there even a way to ask without sounding like that?
“What’s going on?” Myles asks.
“Want some company?” Scarlet is now at the end of the bench, a sweet smile on her face.
“Holy shit, is that her?” My friend’s voice has lowered to a whisper. “FaceTime me! I want to see what she looks like!”
“I’ll talk to you later.” My thumb hits the button to end the call before Myles can say anything stupid.
“I’m sorry,” Scarlet apologizes sincerely. “I didn’t mean for you to end your conversation.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I dismiss her apology, moving down the bench to make room for her. “I would love some company.”
She gives me a small nod paired with that beautiful smile. As soon as she gets comfortable next to me, a breath of relaxation leaves her. Her eyes peer out to the water, her lips parting, “I hope you are having a better day than me.”
My brows dip in worry because, from her expression, it seems her day was absolute shit. Now that she isn’t smiling, I can clearly see the amount of exhaustion in her glossy eyes. From tiredness or crying?
“What happened?” I can’t bring up the idea of sleeping together now. Not when she is in this state.
“A patient got out of hand. It isn’t abnormal in the ward, but...” Her eyes drop to her lap, where there is blood smeared across the outside of her thumb.
Out of instinct, my hand reaches for her wrist. When my fingers wrap around her, I’m pulling the hand with blood towards me. “Are you hurt?”
“I thought I got it all off.” Her voice is above a whisper before she continues speaking, “Somehow, they stole a knife from somewhere. We aren’t sure if she snuck into the kitchen or one of the doctor”s offices. Either way, she got ahold of a weapon.” Her leg bounces. Nerves and shock from whatever happened are flowing through her. “When I arrived, some doctors and nurses were trying to calm the patient down. To get her to hand over the knife. The patient only kept screaming at them. I have a special connection with a lot of those patients, this one in particular. She wouldn’t listen to me, though.”
During her story, I blindly brush my thumb along the top of her hand. Scarlet gently smiles at the gesture. “Sometimes, even with the patients we have more of a connection with, they get so into their heads that the connection we have to them doesn’t matter.”
Her eyes lift to mine. “You’ve had a patient like this?”
I nod. “Back in the city, the clinic I worked for wasn’t anything like this place. My patients didn’t have these types of deep issues rooted in their bodies, but they were still important. There was a young man whom I grew close with. He said he looked up to me like a big brother.”
“That’s sweet.”
“It is,” I agree. “But he always got in his head about worries that shouldn’t be there. These things he was worried about were mundane. There was no reason for him to be having an episode over them. No matter what I tried to tell him, how I tried to help him, none of it mattered. He was so adamant that he was right.”
“What happened?”
“He attacked me.” I swallow hard, the altercation still fresh in my mind. “It was the first and only time a patient got physical with me. Luckily, we weren’t alone. My boss was also in the office, attempting to help ease the situation. The kid got a couple of blows to my face before my boss pulled him off of me.”
“Did he ever come to his senses?”
“Eventually. It wasn’t until the next day. He begged his mother to let him come into the office even though it wasn’t a day I typically saw him. He apologized to me repeatedly. Promised that he would never intentionally try to hurt me,” I explain before letting my eyes drop to the drying blood on her hand. “Now, what happened to you?”
Her head tilts to the side, both of us holding our attention on the red she missed while cleaning. “I got too close. She swiped the knife and got my palm.” Scarlet”s eyes drift to her other hand, one that is wrapped. How did I miss that? “When I washed my hands, I must not have gotten it all off.”
“How did they get the patient to calm down?”
“Two of the guards had to get involved—they were armed with a syringe full of sedative.”
“You did what you could, Scarlet.” My eyes find hers. “Deep down in their minds, they know you were trying to help. They will be grateful for that when they return to their own minds.”
She breathes out a laugh. “No wonder you are a doctor. Saying all the right things.”
I can’t help but smile at the compliment. “Guess it was my true calling. I don”t mind leaving if you want some time to yourself after what happened. This was your place before I came here and invaded it.”
Another smile from her. This one is more real than the last. “Stay.” Her hand squeezes mine. “I can share this space.”
So that’s what we do. We share the space in silence. Both of us were thinking about the days we had while staring out at the water.
Her mind probably wandering to the altercation with her patient.
Mine goes straight to Veronica.
The two of us sat out by the water for a while longer. The only sounds were the birds singing to each other up in the treetops and the calming wind that disrupted the stillness of the water.
We were content just sitting there, with my hand still holding hers, giving her the comfort she needed in that moment. She had already told me the story. There was nothing else to talk about.
I would have been an idiot to bring up the idea of us sleeping together right then. Myles won’t see it as I do, but today was a step in the right direction.
It was getting later, and the sun set behind the pines. The air had more of a bite to it than the dim warmth of the sun had gone, and when she began shivering, it was time to call it a night.
Scarlet and I parted ways after we reentered the building; she had to head back to her ward, given that is where her bedroom is, and I was going to go back to my room to hang out for the rest of the night.
Settling on the idea of watching a movie on my laptop, I make my way to the hall for my room until my stomach growls.
When was the last meal I ate?
The cafeteria was almost empty, with only a few girls taking up space at the tables. I take a sandwich from the chef and a soda before leaving.
On my way through the hall, a piano sounded from the common room, causing me to stop in my tracks. The song sounds familiar but is hard to place with how out of tune the instrument is.
Walking backward, I crane my neck and glance to see Eliza sitting on the wooden bench, playing beautifully. My gaze stays on her for a moment, watching from afar how her fingers move smoothly over the black and ivory keys. Then my attention gets dragged to the mess of curls sitting in her normal spot.
She was writing at some point but now has her fingers rubbing her temple with a tight jaw. Her chest rises and falls with annoyance. The sight of her irritation pulls a laugh from me.
Shaking my head, I step into the room as Eliza continues playing, and Veronica attempts to calm herself down. Approaching her quietly, I rest my hand on her shoulder, which startles her.
Veronica’s hands drop to her lap, her round eyes finding my hand, and I watch as her jaw tightens even more. When her hard gaze finally meets mine, she relaxes a bit, knowing I’m the one touching her.
“Make. It. Stop.” She demands.
“She’s playing very well.”
“The piano sounds like it”s fucking dying.” She states. “They need to get someone in here to fix it, or I swear one of these days, I will smash it to pieces.”
“With what?” I question, knowing damn well there really isn’t anything for her to use.
Her eyes squint at me. “I’ll get creative.”
“You will do no such thing,” I warn her, my hand leaving her shoulder.
She grunts. “You’re no fun.”
“Apologies for not letting you smash a piano.” I look back over to Eliza, who is still playing. She’s in her own little world.
“The poor girl is trying to get close to me again,” Veronica says. “She is still afraid of me, but slowly, she is trying. What the hell is it about me that makes her want to be friends with me?”
“It must be your welcoming energy and generous kindness.”
“Ha ha.” The words sarcastically leave her mouth. “You should quit and become a comedian, Dr. Madden.”
“Why would I quit when I’m good at what I do?” I stare back down at her. The way she is looking up at me springs images into my mind that shouldn’t be there.
Stop it, Leo. She is your patient.
“Cocky much?” She smirks.
“Very,” I say honestly. “But just so you don’t hurt anyone tonight.” I move over to where Eliza is playing, leaning down to tell her to stop. She stares at me with confusion, but she soon finds Veronica”s heated gaze. She pushes the bench away and walks over to the bookshelf. Spinning on my heel, I make my way back to the woman in the chair. “You’re welcome. Goodnight, Veronica.”
As I walk away, I hear her shuffle out of her chair to follow me. I know it isn’t to say thank you. I keep walking until I’m a little further down the hall.
“Can I ask you something?” She comes to stand in front of me. “We only meet two days a week, but you are here all the other days. Don’t you ever go home? I mean, if I had the chance to leave here for a little while, I would take it.”
“I don’t live close to the asylum. Because of those reasons, they offer a room for the doctors and nurses to stay in; that way, they don’t have to make the commute.”
Her eyes go wide. “You’re willingly staying in a room here?”
A breathy laugh escapes me. “I’m sure my room is nothing like the ones they provide the patients.”
“How would you know? You haven’t seen the whole place yet.” She steps closer, a breath getting caught in my throat. “I can give you that tour you are desperate for Scarlet to give you. We can start off in my bedroom.”
“That would not be a good idea.”
“No?” She bites her lip, and fuck, it does something to me. “Okay then, we can start in your bedroom.”
“Patients aren’t allowed in that wing.”
“Does that mean if we were, you’d take me there?” Her tongue pops out and glides along her bottom lip.
“I wouldn’t.” I attempt to change the subject. “Don’t you have a letter to write?”
Her mood immediately changes.
Honestly, I’m not sure which one I want to deal with more. Veronica’s anger or her flirting. I tell myself it’s the former, although a little part of me likes the back and forth of the latter. Even the thought of that is so goddamn wrong.
“What makes you think I haven’t written it already?” Her arms fold over her chest.
“Have you?” She chews on the inside of her cheek, not providing me with a verbal answer. “That’s what I thought. Go write the letter, Veronica. I’ll see you at our next session.”