18. Leo
What a fucking mess.
As I walked back to the office, all I could think about was her. How she sounded. How she tasted. Dammit. Why the hell did I have to go there with her? How often did I tell myself not to let it happen, no matter how badly I wanted it to?
And fuck, I wanted to. I’d only admit it because saying it out loud to anyone, well, Myles since he is the only person I would ever tell, is all sorts of wrong.
Yes, I should have stopped myself, but I’m a man. I have no self-control. If she had just told me she didn’t want it, or if Veronica decided that what we were doing was a mistake, then I would have ended it right then.
But she didn’t.
Once my mouth was on her, tasting her, I couldn’t pull myself away. There was no force strong enough to take me away from that woman.
I’ve said it before: I have been with multiple women, but there is just something different about Veronica.Maybe it’s because I know I shouldn’t be doing this with her.
She is my patient, and I crossed a line, but then there is that thrill of being sneaky. I shouldn’t be, but I’m down bad this woman, and I’m afraid that I’ll lose control again. I’m worried she will cast me under another spell. That’s what it felt like. It was like she put a magic spell on me, making it almost impossible to turn her down.
Spells and witches aren’t real. This is all my doing.
Dr. Bennett wanted to catch up after I walked Veronica out of the office wing. He wanted to see how things were going and if I was still enjoying myself here.
We discussed some things about Veronica, mainly how she has been acting with me, given her history with the previous doctors.
Dr. Bennett told me he”d handle it if she ever jeopardized my leaving and stated that I’m a great asset to the team. He also said my “breakthrough” with Veronica impressed him since Dr. Davis was the only other doctor who came close.
God, if he only knew what type of breakthrough we were discussing.
What I didn’t expect him to ask was if I would take on another patient. She is new, and all the other doctors have a full roster. Seeing as Veronica is my only patient, he figured he would ask first.
Here’s the thing: I could have easily declined the offer. I could have turned him down and said I needed to focus more on Veronica’s well-being, but I didn’t. I accepted the offer.
Who knows? Maybe having another patient talk about their issues will help me calm down on my feelings towards Veronica. I wouldn’t have the new patient start until next week, though, as she is brand new.
Dr. Bennett informed me that her name is Ruby, and she wouldn’t come until Saturday, giving me the rest of the week to schedule her. He said he didn’t want me to start a session as soon as she arrived.
They want to give her a couple of days to settle in before I pick apart her brain. All I know is that I have to add a day to Veronica’s schedule and work on a new one for Ruby.
Another thing I am sure of is that Veronica will not be happy to hear that she isn’t my only patient anymore. She also will not like that I need to cancel our Thursday session to get things ready for Ruby and to get my head on straight.
She was pissed that I canceled.
I’ve never seen so much hatred in someone”s eyes as when I informed her we’d be skipping the session. I told her two days ago, and since then, I haven’t seen her around. She is avoiding me, which is fine by me. Not seeing her has helped clear my head a bit.
This morning, I worked from my bedroom. I had a bunch of emails from the old office to sift through and didn’t feel like making the journey all the way to my office to only respond to those.
With that, I also was reading over Ruby’s file courtesy of Edith. She gave me a copy when the paperwork was sent to the asylum to know what I’m walking into.
Ruby is something else, and if reading her file taught me anything, it’s that she and Veronica are going to butt heads.
Given all the screen time I’ve been dealing with here, I’ve had to break out my glasses so my eyes would not bug out. Plus, my contacts have been giving me issues.
Even with the glasses on, I can sense the exhaustion slowly creeping into my gaze. If I stare at this computer screen anymore, I will fall asleep. Glancing at the time in the upper righthand corner, I groan when I see it’s only eleven in the morning.
Coffee.
That is what I need if I have to continue responding to the rest of these emails.
Shutting the laptop, I leave the desk and go to the cafeteria. I should fuel my stomach with something other than coffee, or I’ll finish my drink and still pass out.
The hall is filled with the usual women, huddled into groups and gossiping about whatever they talk about. Their attention gets pulled from the conversation as I walk by, their jaws dropping slightly at the sight of me.
They don’t hide the expression on their faces. I smile at a group of women who can’t seem to take their eyes off me. One pretends to faint at the gesture, which earns them a quiet laugh. I’ve been here a little over a month now, and I’m finally getting used to all their gawking.
As I continue walking to my destination, my heart rate picks up when I sense someone has fallen in step beside me. I don’t have to look down to see who it is.
“Hello, Veronica,” I greet her without glancing her way.
“Hello, Dr. Madden.” She sounds cheery this morning. It’s a better mood than the last time I left her. Sensing her gaze on me, I give her my full attention. “Damn, you look good in those glasses.”
Here we go.
“How are you doing today?”
A long sigh pushes past her lips. “I’ve been better. It would have been nice to have our session the other day.” Her eyes stay on my face as we stroll down the hall. “I had loads to talk about.”
“I told you I was sorry for having to cancel.” I never told her the real reason. I didn’t mention Ruby or that I needed to stay away from her for a little longer.
“Yeah, yeah. You said you had some stuff to figure out.” She rolls her eyes, and it brings back the image of those said eyes rolling into the back of her head while my tongue was between her thighs. I inhale a deep breath, shoving the memory away. “This stuff you needed to figure out… was it thinking of ways not to get hard every time we are together?”
“Shh!” My hand meets her shoulder, and I suddenly guide her to an area of the hall with no one nearby. “You need to watch your mouth, Veronica. If someone were to hear you?—”
“You can always occupy my mouth. That way, I don’t keep blabbing about it.” She grins up at me, and I finally notice the bruise under her left eye and the white towel draped over her shoulder. “Relax, Leo. No one heard me. I made sure no one was in earshot.”She peaks around me, looking down the vacant hall before returning her attention. I take a deep breath when her fingers come up to mess with the top button of my shirt. “That is why you canceled, right?”
My hand quickly flies up and grabs her wrist, yanking her hand away from my shirt. “I needed time to collect myself.”
“You know, you should never cancel a session on a patient in an insane asylum.” She pouts, her free hand traveling up my chest.
“Yeah, well, I also shouldn’t have had my head between your legs,” I point out in a whisper. “But we all make mistakes.”
“Hmm.” She hums. “I wouldn’t tell anyone. It would stay between us.”
“It can’t happen again, Veronica.”
“I liked it better when you called me Vee. Or little angel.” Her innocent eyes blink up at mine. “Why did you call me an angel? And will you call me that again, or is it only when I get you all hot and bothered?” My breathing stutters as her hand lowers over my stomach, meeting my belt buckle. My eyes dart up to take in our surroundings, and I find the hall completely empty. “I have to go, Leo. You’re cutting into my shower time.”
My eyes scan her face before she spins around on her heels to leave me. “Are patients supervised while they shower?”
“Why?” She stops, turning to look at me with a grin. “Are you offering?”
“No. Just all the shows I’ve seen, the patients aren’t allowed to shower unsupervised.”
“When will you learn not to get your information from TV shows? You’re a doctor, Leo. I expected better from you.” She tsks, showing fake disappointment. “They only supervise us when we have to shave. They don’t want us alone with razors. You can probably figure out why.”
“Understandable.”
“Normally,” She gets closer to me, “Edith is the one who has the luxury of being stuck with that shift. She’s the only one here I trust.” She’s now standing in front of me, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. “But I’m sure she would love a day off if you’d be willing to take her place.”
“I’m not sure that would be appropriate.” I swallow. “Edith is a nurse?—”
“And you are a doctor,” she enunciates the title. “My doctor, to be exact. You both care about my safety. I’ll ask her if you can take over one day.”
“She won”t say yes.”
“For me, she will. It’s hard for people to say no to me around here.” She finally closes the gap between us. “Must be why I like you so much. You’re a challenge... kind of.” She lifts on the tips of her toes and brushes her lips against mine. “Don’t worry, Leo. The next time I need someone to watch me shower, it will be you.”
Veronica drops back down, planting both feet firmly on the ground, and walks away from me. Letting out a breath, I watch her walk away while I feel my pants grow tighter. Fuck! Why does she do this to me?
Suddenly, I’m wide awake and no longer in need of coffee. Instead of going to the cafeteria as originally planned, I pass the open door where there is food and coffee and head straight to my bedroom.
I’m quickly making my way back, concealing my dick as best as I can because no one needs to see that.
When I finally return to my room, I lock the door behind me and undo my pants, allowing myself to breathe. Unfastening the buttons of my shirt, I rip it off of me and toss the glasses onto the desk.
Going straight for the bathroom attached to my room, I turn the shower on and then continue to undress myself until I am completely naked.
The warm water cascades down my back, and I shut my eyes tight to calm down, but when I do that, all I see is her. I see Veronica under the stream of water, staring at me with intense hunger in her eyes, waiting for me to have my way with her.
“Dammit.” I wrap my hand around my cock.
A wave of relief flows through me as I pump my hand up and down my length. My forehead falls against the tiled wall, my free hand resting above my head, and I shut my eyes again.
I imagine that it’s her hand wrapped around me. I move my hand faster, squeezing tighter, while I fantasize that it’s her supplying me with this pleasure.
I can almost hear her moans from getting me off, and it drives me utterly insane. My mouth falls open, hips thrusting into my fist when I imagine what it would be like to have those wicked lips wrapped around me, what it would feel like to have her tongue swirl around my cock.
The vibrations that her moans would send through my body.
“Shit.” I moan as I picture her on her knees like the good girl she is. Staring up at me through her full lashes with her mouth full of my cock, gagging and teary-eyed.
It doesn’t take long for me to come, which is downright embarrassing. My eyes shoot open when I’m done, and I immediately hate that I touched myself to the thought of her. For getting off to the dirty thoughts I’m having about my patient.
I rinse myself clean, staying in the water for way too long before it turns cold. Once I”m out, I wrap a towel around my waist. My hands grip the sink, and I stare at my distorted reflection in the steam-covered mirror. Who the hell is this man staring back at me?
My phone sounds from the other room ripping my focus away from the person in the mirror who is supposed to be me. As I approach the bed, I see the screen lit up with Myles’ name.
My hands are still on my hips while I ignore the call. I’ve never been able to hide anything from him.
A couple more rings, and it stops. A sigh of relief left me, thinking I was in the clear.
Wrong.
He is calling me again.
I groan but pick up the phone. “Hey, man.”
“Leo!” He beams through the phone. “How the hell are you?”
“I... uh... I’m good.” His slurred words throw me off a little. “Are you drunk?”
“What? No! It’s too early for that,” he answers. “Okay, I had one or two, maybe four drinks at lunch with some guys from work. I’m tipsy at best.”
“And then you have to go back to work?” I question while I walk over to the dresser to find clothes.
“Nah, we had an early day, which was a reason to celebrate with drinks.” He hiccups before continuing. “Tell me how the past couple of days have been! You haven’t texted or called.”
“I”ve been busy.” I take the phone away from my ear and put it on speaker before setting it on the dresser.
“Busy? You have one patient who you see how often?” He asks as I step into a pair of joggers and slide a crewneck over my head.
“It’s been twice a week, but I have to change the schedule to make more time for her,” I disclose.
“Wait! Miss your fucking face!” He hangs up quickly, and in just one second, I get a FaceTime call from him. When I answer, he is sitting on the couch in our living room. God, I miss the apartment. “Ah, there he is!”
“Here I am.” I shake my head with a laugh at the state of my drunken friend.
“Back to what we were talking about. Why do you have to make more time for her? She that much of a psycho?” I hear the crinkle of a bag of chips off the screen, and I watch him shove a handful of Doritos into his mouth.
“Um, yeah.” I keep my answer short. My hand finds the back of my neck and attempts to rub the knots out.
He furrows his brows, mouth full of chips. “What are you not telling me?”
“What?”
“You’re hiding something. What is it?” He pushes.
“I’m not hiding anything, Myles. You’re just drunk and reading into things.” This isn’t going well.
“Did you fuck her?” His voice is loud and full of excitement.
“Jesus, Myles!” I drop the phone down a little and look over to my door. Listening for anyone in the hall, but thankfully, it’s silent. “Can you lower your fucking voice?”
“You did, didn’t you?” He smugly grins.
“No, I didn’t! And you can’t just say shit like that out loud. What if someone walked past my room and heard you?”
“Sorry! Got excited for a moment.” He shrugs with a drunken giggle. “I don’t believe you, though.”
“Why?” I ask, resting my elbows on my knees. I should have never gotten on FaceTime with him.
“Because the look on your face tells me otherwise.” He shoves another chip in his mouth and speaks with a mouth full of food. “You know damn well you can’t hide shit from me, so spill.”
My head falls back, and the hand holding my phone drops to my lap as I sigh. Standing up, I walk back into the bathroom and shut the door behind me for more privacy.
He’s right. I can’t hide this from him, and if I keep it bottled up, then I’ll explode.
“An incident happened in my office, but it wasn’t sex,” I admit.
“Don’t hold out on me, man! I want all the juicy details.” He smiles, making himself more comfortable on the couch. We were never shy about talking about our sex lives.
“It was a normal session. We were talking about things from her past, but then it flipped around on me. She talked about college and how she missed out, and then I kissed her.”
“Boring!” He cuts me off with a fake yawn. “You already kissed her.”
“I wasn’t done.”
“By all means.” He gestures for me to continue.
“I um... fuck.” I rub my hand along the back of my neck as my face scrunches. “I went down on her.”
“No. Fucking. Way!” A massive grin tugs at his lips, but he doesn’t hide it. Myles isn’t shy about showing off how happy he is for me.
“She didn’t finish because my boss knocked on the door, and thank God he did.” I huff in relief. “It would have escalated into more if he hadn’t.”
Myles”s face turns from excitement to confusion in an instant. “But you are going to escalate it to that point, right?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Awe, come on, Leo! I’m living vicariously through you!” He whines in protest.
“Are you having trouble finding someone to sleep with you? That’s a first.”
He scoffs at the ridiculous accusation. “No. I am having no trouble finding a woman to fuck. It so happens that I’m sneaking around with someone from the office.”
“Isn’t the office mostly men.”
“The keyword there, my friend, is mostly. However, I’m man enough to admit that some of my colleagues are good-looking. If I batted for that team, I would have a ton to choose from, but stop turning this around on me. This conversation is supposed to be about you.”
Shrugging my shoulders, I say, “It doesn’t have to be.”
“Knock it off,” he states. “How will you fulfill your needs when you’re locked away in that place? Remember that one time you hadn’t had sex in, like a week, and you got all angry and almost exploded. How the hell do you expect to stay in one piece there?”
“Masturbation.”
“Oh, hell no! We both know that will not do it for you. You need a warm pussy to keep you satisfied.”
“Fuck.” I run my hand along my forehead. I can already feel a headache rushing in.
“The way I see it, you have two options.” He shoves the bag of chips off his lap, surely getting crumbs all over the couch that he may or may not clean up.
Sober Myles would vacuum them up, but drunk Myles? He will go to bed and forget about it. Sitting forward, he brings the phone closer to his face and lowers his voice.
“You can sleep with your patient, sneak around like I am doing with a coworker, or sleep with the hot nurse. The second doesn’t look promising, as you can’t even flirt with her properly.”
“I flirted with her just fine.”
“Did it get your dick wet?” He questions, popping an eyebrow upwards. “What”s the issue with sleeping with the first option, other than losing your job?”
I mull over how my continuing things with Veronica could go wrong. “Other than losing my job? Prison, probably.”
“Shit. You could get jail time if they caught you?” The “P” word has Myles all serious. Maybe that realization will sober him up, and he will start making sense.
“I’m assuming it’s a possibility.”
Myles stays silent for a moment. The thoughts rolling around in his head. “Have you tried your hardest to turn her down?”
“Yes, but there is something about her— I don’t know what it is. It’s almost like she’s putting me under a spell. Being around her, when she says or does things that make me feel things I shouldn’t, it’s like the devil on my shoulder kicked the angel off the other and is trying to plant himself in my head. No matter how hard I try, I lose the battle and listen to the little red guy.”
He nods slowly as he takes in what I say. “I can sit here and tell you what I think you should do, but it’s up to you. If she’s worth risking your job, then go for it. Don’t get caught. That’s my best advice.” He smirks. “The sneaking around? The adrenaline rush you get from maybe getting caught? It’s fucking hot! The patient or the nurse? Your choice, Leo.”
The choice should be simple. It should be an easy decision. Scarlet is who I should be choosing. It’s safe. But I’m not a safe person. Not with the women I normally take to my bed. In a moment like this, that needs to be switched around. I can’t be reckless with my career.
Safe.
The word repeats in my head, trying to ingrain itself into my brain, but something is blocking it from completely sinking in. Why the hell are the words the little devil is whispering in my ear persuading me to make the wrong choice?
Before I can even say anything in response, there is a knock at my door. “I gotta go. I’ll text you later.”
I don’t let him say anything back before I hang up the phone and go to the bedroom door. When I open it, I am met with Edith, who gives me an apologetic smile. Oh, no. Did Veronica ask her about the whole shower supervision thing?
“I’m so sorry to barge into your room on your own time, Leo.”
“That’s quite alright.” I wave her off. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Everything is fine,” she reassures me. “It’s just Veronica asked to speak with you. Well, demanded to.” Shit. “She said that you canceled her last session, and she desperately needed to talk but couldn’t find you. Hence why I’m here.”
I clear my throat. Relief floods my body because this isn’t about the shower situation. “Yes, I canceled because some things came up. As you know, I have a new patient starting next week. On top of that, I have to configure a new schedule for Veronica. I have to add an extra day.”
Edith nods. “I understand it’s Saturday, but she got into a fight the other day.”
“She what?” My eyes go wide until I remember the bruising under her eye when I saw her earlier.
“You didn’t hear?” She shakes her head in disapproval. Not with me but with Veronica. “I will let her tell you about it.”
“Okay, bring her to my office,” I tell her. “Let me change first, and then I’ll be there.”
Edith walks away, and I close the door. I don’t want to dress up in my usual attire for work, but I can’t meet Veronica in sweats. I change into black jeans and a black long-sleeve thermal, hoping they won’t get mad. I was not dressing professionally. Technically, it’s not even a proper workday.
I’m wandering down the office hallway in no time. I unlock my door, thankful that I beat Edith and Veronica. I head straight for my desk, palms rubbing my eyes as I prepare to see her.
“Dr. Madden?” Edith”s voice causes my hands to fall to my sides. When I look at the older woman standing in my doorway, she isn’t looking at me. She is gesturing for someone to enter.
Soon enough, Veronica walks through the door, her hair still damp from her shower. My eyes dip quickly and discreetly trail down her body, finding she’s wearing a thin white tank top, nipples hard enough for me to see them through the fabric.
“Thank you, Edith.” I divert my eyes from Veronica to the woman standing behind her.
“Not a problem!” She smiles, reaches for the door handle, and shuts Veronica and me in.
When the door shutting sounds throughout the room, I bring my eyes back to Veronica, who has been watching me the entire time. Except now, she has that devilish smile plastered on her face.
That devil on my shoulder? He’s telling me I’m fucking doomed.