20. Veronica
I stare at the blank page in my journal in a complete daze. My fingers are itching to write about what happened two days ago with Leo, but nothing happens when I set the tip of my pen to the paper. My wrist doesn’t move.
Everything he did to me swirls in my mind like a snowstorm. Snowflakes flurry in every direction, and I’m not sure which piece of memory to focus on.
How it felt to have his fingers inside me? Or his tongue, for that matter.
I can’t seem to make my hand comprehend what my brain wants to relive on these pages. I could lay it all out in detail, every single second of sweet pleasure he provided me.
It would take up a couple of pages in my journal. It might even make a decent little book. If only I could get my hand to move.
Sleep hasn’t come easily to me the past couple of nights. I’ve been restless. Tossing and turning because every time I shut my eyes, I was teleported back to his office. Either his cock was in my mouth, or his head was between my thighs.
The vivid images sent an electric wave down through my stomach, ending right at my clit. When I tried to relieve that ache, it wasn’t enough.
I couldn’t even make myself come.
It seems like he ruined me after all.
Huffing out an irritated breath, I slam the journal shut and stand from the bed. I wonder if I go to the common room, I’ll be able to write better. Get a little change in scenery.
Being stuck in this boring, square room isn’t helping. It’s stuffy in here, and I’m getting sick of staring at these beige walls.
Wandering down the hall, slippers warming my feet while the journal is tucked underneath my arm. The pen is hidden between the pages because some of these guards don’t think it’s right for patients to be in possession of one.
They have confiscated more than enough from me. Edith was kind enough to lend me a new pen after knowing I’d stolen most of them from her desk.
Veering around the doorframe into the common room, my eyes immediately find Eliza sitting at one of the square tables, working on a puzzle. She is focused, not even realizing I approached her while she presses the pieces together.
“How long does it take normally to finish one of these?”
Her eyes leave the connected pieces to find my gaze. “Depends on how many pieces there are. This one has 500, which shouldn’t take me too long.”
“Damn. That would take me at least two weeks. Maybe even a month.” I blow out a breath.
“You’re more than welcome to join me.” Her attention goes back to searching for the next piece. “Seeing as you haven’t come to breakfast or lunch.”
I was hoping she would forget. That was the same day that something happened between Leo and I. When Dr. Bennett almost caught us. I was so turned on when I left that I skipped lunch entirely to return to my room and deal with my needs.
“There’s a lot that has been going on...”
“I’m not mad, Ronnie.” She sighs. “I thought you had questions, and I was willing to answer them.”
My brows pull down. “Are you saying you’re not willing to answer them now?”
The piece she chose doesn’t fit, and yet she remains calm. I would have already thrown this whole thing to the ground. “I will if you promise to keep up your end of the deal.”
“Lunch?” She nods. “Okay, tomorrow. We can have lunch tomorrow.”
“Okay.” Eliza then completely brushes me off and focuses on her puzzle again.
I take that as my cue to leave, so that’s what I do.
I swivel on my feet, taking a couple of steps towards my chair, but come to a screeching halt.
What the hell?
Anger floods my body when I see a girl sitting in my chair. This has happened before. Sometimes, I’d find a patient lounging in my chair, not a care in the world, until I appeared before them and kicked them out. They scurried off like scared little mice while I reclaimed what was mine.
Not this one, though. I’d never seen her before, which tells me she is new. What a cold welcome she will get from me. With my fist clenched at my sides, I stalk over towards her.
I stand before her, seeing a book in her lap. The words capture her so much that she’s not even acknowledging my presence.
Her hair is short, a pixie cut with green dye. I assume it was bright at one point, but it has been fading. Say goodbye to the color because you’ll never have it again. Not in this place.
“Can I help you?” Her tone is bitchy when she asks the question. Her eyes still holding attention to the book.
I already don’t like her.
“You’re in my seat.” I point to the chair, returning the same bitchy attitude.
The newbie”s eyes lift, a warm blue irises staring at me before twisting in the chair to the headrest. Then she peeks over the arms before sliding her gaze back to mine. “Don’t see your name on it.”
My teeth clench hard enough that a tooth could have chipped. “I’m guessing you are new, so let me fill you in. When I’m in this room, this chair is mine. Everyone knows this.” My eyes scan the room, seeing the other woman watching us quietly. No one dares to speak up. “You want to sit in it when I’m not in sight? By all means, go right ahead, but as soon as I walk through that door, you get your ass off of it.”
She sinks back into the chair, opening her book back up. “I like this chair. It’s comfortable. Broken in. I think I’ll stay here for a while.”
My breathing turns rapid, smoke fuming out of my ears from the rage coursing through me. Her eyes drop back to the book, picking up where she left off while everyone else’s eyes are on me.
Waiting to watch me explode. They all know this bitch crossed a line, and they wait for the repercussions.
Inhaling a deep breath, trying to center myself, I place my hands on the armrest, bending down to catch her attention. “Do you know who the fuck I am?”
Her gaze rises to mine, acting like she couldn’t give a shit. “Am I supposed to?”
That’s it.
One hand leaves the armrest and snatches the book right out of her hand, throwing it across the room. “You better watch your fucking back.”
The threat was supposed to scare her, but dammit, she gives me a smile that drives my anger closer to the edge. She doesn’t seem to care that her book is across the room, probably ruined.
“Or what?”
My hand squeezes the chair, nails piercing the fabric, as I hold myself back from blowing up. We stare at each other”s eyes, and when I’m about to say something, I’m interrupted.
“Veronica!” Leo”s voice sounds stern from behind me.
A warning.
Isn’t his timing perfect?
The girl in my chair darts her eyes to where Leo is standing, and I watch with fury as her eyes go wide in awe at the sight of him. Then again, why would I be mad if she looked at him like that?
His fingers were just inside of me. His tongue was lapping up my pussy. His cock was in my mouth. She’ll never have him how I do.
Pushing myself off the chair, I spin on my heels to find Leo watching me carefully. “Hi, Dr. Madden.”
“We have a session. Are you ready?” His eyes move from mine to the book that was thrown lying by his feet. How long has he been in here?
I am a tiny bit confused, seeing as our session isn’t for another couple of hours, but I play along with whatever game he is playing. “Yes, I am.”
Without giving the girl another ounce of my attention, I leave the room with Leo staying close behind me. Like always, I stop for him to get ahead of me so he can lead us to his office.
The walk itself is silent as we make our way down multiple halls. As he swipes the card for the door to unlock, I pay close attention to how the card is attached to him and whether it would be easy to steal from him at some point.
If my plan fails. Which it won’t.
I’ve been adding bits and pieces of information to the plan. If I want to get him to fall for me, I need to be more vulnerable. I can’t be a hardass because who would fall for that?
One time, I went on a date with this guy which ended terribly for him. He had the audacity to call me out for being a bitch when I was only being honest with him.
The clicking of the unlocking door pulls me out of my thoughts. Leo gestures for me to walk through the door. I’m the first to enter his office, the door behind us, eliciting a breath of disapproval.
Alright... this won’t be a special session.
Deciding not to sit in my normal spot, I lean against his desk, my arms folding across my chest.
“What the hell was that?” he finally asks.
“Hmm, I’m not sure what you are talking about.”
Leo approaches me, towering over my body, trying to be intimidating. The angle causes my neck to strain as my head tilts back. “I told you to behave.”
“And that is exactly what I did.”
“You were about to fight her.”
“No, I thought about fighting her but then remembered what you told me.” Innocent eyes stay on him while my arms fall to my side, only to trail both hands up his arms.
He carefully watches how my hand moves up before landing his eyes on mine. His breath quickens the way it does when he gets aroused, and by the reaction he is giving me, I keep going until my hands are resting flat on his shoulders.
“Come on, Leo. Reward me for doing as I was told.” I beg. My hand drifts from his shoulder to his jaw, where my thumb lightly brushes his bottom lip.
He willingly parts his lips, almost at the brink of giving in, but then snaps back to reality. In one swift move, his hand grabs my wrist and tears it away from his face. Pulling me closer to him, he wets his lips.
“Reward you? From what I witnessed, you didn’t listen to me at all.” Shoving my hand from his grasp, he steps backward and sits in his chair. “You threw her book across the room!”
“Yes, I threw her book across the room! But disregarding that, I handled myself pretty damn well!” I spin to face him. “She’s lucky I didn’t grab her by the hair, yank her out of my chair, and throw her across the room! That’s what I really wanted to do, Leo!”
I push myself away from the desk and go to him.
“I was so close to doing it until your voice popped into my head, and I held back. I didn’t fight because you said to behave.” I mimic the way I attempted to intimidate the newbie. Leaned over the chair, staring directly into his eyes.
Leo raises his head to meet my gaze. “When I told you to behave, I meant in every aspect, Veronica. Not just physical fights.”
“That’s on you.” I shake my head, throwing my hands up in the air. “You should have been more specific with your terms. How was I supposed to know I couldn’t be verbally mean to someone?”
“Drop your pants to your ankles and bend over the desk,” his demand draws my attention. He can sense the hope in my eyes, and he is quick to set it on fire. “I told you I’d punish you. Now, do as I say.”
He stands and walks to the door, locking it securely before turning around. I’m still standing there, being defiant. His lips form a tight line, and then he stalks angrily toward me like a predator-hunting prey.
Strong hands meet my shoulder, shifting my body to face his desk. Then those same hands yank my sweats and bend me over the desk.
I hear the sound of a belt buckle unclasping behind me. Why the hell would he be taking his pants off to punish me? My head lifts from the surface, peering back to see him folding it in half, hand holding the part where the two ends meet. His dark eyes find mine. An evil smirk plays on his lips.
It all happens so fast.
The belt whips my bare skin, the sound of leather echoing throughout the room. As soon as the pain finds me, I drop my head to the desk. My ass is on fire already from one hit.
“How many do you think you deserve, Vee?” Leo asks.
He wants me to choose the number of my punishment?
Before I can register, my mouth opens, and I say, “Five.”
His hand runs along the spot he hit, soothing it. “Five? I was going to say three. Keep your first punishment a little more generous than the ones I know I’ll have to provide in the future.” He removes his hand from my skin and replaces it with another lash of the belt. “Two extra? I can do that.”
Another hit. The sting of my skin, the tears forming in my eyes through the pain. But I bite back the cries.
The leather meets my ass again, making that three now. He pauses the next attack, soothing the irritated spot before torturing it again.
Softly, he rubs my skin, massaging it until his hand drops between my legs. I feel his finger slide through my lips, groaning as he pushes it into my pussy.
“Seems like someone”s a little turned on by her punishment.” He taunts. “Practically dripping down your leg. Tell me, little angel, do you like the pain?”
I swallow hard, trying to focus on how good his finger feels. Taking my mind away from the searing pain on my ass. The truth is, I do like it. It heightens everything.
Leo chuckles. “Don’t answer that. I can tell you do just by how you clenched around my finger.” He pushes his finger in deeper, groaning as he watches it disappear. “Want me to make you feel better? Add some more pleasure to your pain?”
“Please.” It’s the only word I can muster through the pain and lack of air.
“That’s too bad.” He sighs, drawing his finger out and bringing it to his mouth. “Now’s not the time for pleasure.”
Whack.
I muffle the cry that leaves my mouth. The pain and being denied pleasure mixes. It’s almost too much.
“Is your punishment going to make you come?” Leo questions with the belt raised in the air. His eyes drop, seeing how soaked I am now. “How pathetic.”
He lowers his hand, unfolding the belt and looping it back into his jeans. “There was one more.”
“I know,” he states. “But if I did it one more time, then I’m afraid it might have brought you an orgasm, and that, Veronica, is not a punishment.”
A groan leaves me because he is right. If he hit me with the belt once more, then I couldn’t have held back. Add that to the list of things that are wrong with me. Leo pulls me from the desk and puts my sweats back on when standing straight up.
“Take a seat, please; we have a session to get to.” He gestures for the chair, but with how frustrated I am with him, I dismiss his order and sit on the bench by the window.
Tucking my legs to my chest, I rest my head against the cool glass of the window. My eyes drift to the lake again. A slight wind outside, causing the water to ripple ever so lightly, and I desperately want to go out there to witness it up close.
To see the way the light wind dances over the water. I want to smell the air as it carries the scent of the lake. I’ve never been out there before. Not since they put the fence up around the courtyard.
It was recently that it happened. A patient got out of the building, sneaking into the lake for a swim. A guard found her and thought she was trying to drown herself.
He was painted a hero even though the patient stated all she wanted to do was float in the water.
Being stuck in these places makes you feel trapped. Being outdoors, smelling the fresh air, or taking a swim sounds freeing. I don’t blame her for her choices, and I sure as hell don’t blame her for being the reason the fence got put up.
There were rules put into place, and if you broke them, you’d spend time in solitary. As much as I would love to feel the cold water biting at my skin, to feel that freedom, if only for a minute, it isn’t worth the price I would have to pay.
I’ve been to solitary before, more than I would care to admit, and it’s terrible. You’re stuck in a room alone. The doors locked, barely any light and the silence.
The silence will tear your sanity apart, and the lack of social interactions can mess you up. I’ve always come out okay, but there have been others who weren’t so lucky.
They were completely fucked up coming out of solitude that they had to be switched to a different ward.
“Veronica?” The sound of his soothing voice brings me out of my thoughts. His tone holds some concern for my drifting off as if he didn’t just spank the shit out of me.
I hum, rolling my head to the side.
“Are you ready to start?” He holds his pen in his hand, waiting for me.
“Sure.”
“Okay.” He nods, opening the top drawer of his desk. Moving objects around, my underwear that he had taken was not one of them. Where did he hide it now? He curses under his breath, slamming the drawer shut. “Looks like I left the voice recorder in my room.”
“Why don’t you keep it in your room and not here in your office?” A tiny smile forms on my lips because I know what’s on that recorder.
It makes me wonder if he listens back to it. Touching himself to the way he was talking to me. The way I was moaning for him. Wetness pools in my underwear again, still turned on by my punishment.
His hands meet his face, and a frustrated sigh leaves him. “I have to go get it.”
“Alright.” I bring my focus back to the lake when he stands from the chair. As he walks towards the door, an idea pops into my head. “Leo, wait!” I swing my legs from the bench and rush to him. “Don’t you think leaving me alone in your office is a bad idea?”
“You can’t come with me.”
“Then where will I go? Back to the common room where I’m sure that bitch is still sitting in my seat.” I step to him, my hands hidden behind my back. “Or back to my room where you”d have to come all the way to the other side of the building to get me after retrieving what you need. It seems like a waste of time.”
“No patients are allowed in my wing, Veronica,” he reminds me.
“We’ve already broken a ton of rules. What’s one more?” I tilt my head to the side. “It will be super quick. Plus, everyone is working, so there shouldn’t be anyone in the wing, anyway.”
“Dammit,” he mutters. “Fine, but you need to be quiet, okay?”
I bring my fingers to my lips, pretending to zip them shut, lock the imaginary lock, and throw away the key.
We walk down the hall to the entrance to the bedrooms, Leo unlocking it with nerves flowing from his body. As we walk down the hall, he keeps me close to his side. He’s on edge, but there are no voices or sounds anywhere. We are alone.
This hall looks the same as the one leading to his office. We stop outside the door that’s five down from the back entrance to the offices. I keep that in mind.
Peeling my eyes away, the door opens to his room, but he turns to me. “Stay right here, and do not move.”
While he walks over to his nightstand, I take in the room, trying to remember every little detail. There is a bathroom off to the right.
From here, it’s a very nice bathroom with a decent-sized shower, which I’d assume has hot water. Our communal showers have lukewarm water on good days.
My eyes drift to the queen size bed centered against the back wall, and of course, my mind wanders to all the different ways he could fuck me on that bed. The thoughts alone cause my thighs to press together.
When my eyes meet Leo again, I see him grabbing the recorder out of his nightstand, and then a voice sounds from behind me.
“Ms. Rollins?”