I Crave You
Alistair
“Is the water warm enough?” I kissed Vera’s cheek as we re-entered the jacuzzi, filled with fresh water.
“It’s perfect,” she said, splashing the water lightly with her delicate feet.
“Did you enjoy the sex?”
“I did.” Vera closed her eyes as she leaned into me.
“It wasn’t too rough, was it?”
“No. I can take a lot more than you think.”
Emotional intimacy after a hookup wasn’t usually my thing, but I let Vera settle against me as we soaked in the tub.
I grabbed the remote, flicked on the TV, and the screen lit up with a graphic gangbang…
two women, all legs and moans. Even half-soft, my cock twitched at the sight.
I glanced at Vera, curious. Her dark eyes locked on the screen, entranced.
“Do you enjoy watching porn?” I asked.
“Mm-hmm.” Vera nodded. Nothing seemed to disconcert the woman.
I circled her clit with slow, teasing strokes while she worked my cock back to full attention.
The porn amped everything up, senses buzzing, but it was the easy comfort with Vera beside me that really got to me.
I lowered the volume, pressed a kiss to her smooth forehead, and let myself relax into her warmth.
“Are you comfortable?” I asked, rubbing her shoulder.
“Mmm, I am,” she purred. Eyes half-closed in a seductive trance, she slowly widened her smile and placed her fingers on my chest. I felt the sting when she accidentally pulled my chest hair.
“Sweetheart, go easy,” I warned, tapping her fingers.
She released her tangled finger spin and looked up at me. “Alistair, I feel connected to you.”
“Yeah, me too.” I met her gaze, brushing my thumb over her smooth, dark nipples, watching them stiffen under my touch.
“There’s something you need to know about me,” I said. “I need constant stimulation and novelty, such as sex and pornography.”
“Oh?”
“You see, I’m very sensitive to sensory stimulation. It calms me, especially when I climax, and the dopamine is released in my brain.”
“Has your thing for sex and porn ever messed up your relationships?” Vera asked.
I nodded. “Yeah. It did. I wasn’t a good husband.
I never loved my ex. I cheated a lot. The marriage was a joke.
” I paused, letting the words settle. “I’ve battled depression, lost my temper more times than I want to admit.
I still see a therapist. I’m trying to do better. Just hoping you can handle all of me.”
“I appreciate your honesty,” she said, then glanced at my upper back. “I love the tattoo, the eagle on your left shoulder blade. But that scar next to it, will you tell me about it?”
The warmth of her index finger gently stroking the scar had a calming effect, soothing my soul. I felt a cocktail of overwhelmingly powerful emotions: a sweet blend of acceptance, trust, and hope. The anxiety that nipped at my existence started to dissipate.
“Ah, the scar.” I sighed, knowing I couldn’t hide the horror from Vera. The words “Psalm 103: 2-5” were inked under the eagle’s image. It was a biblical verse about redemption, love, and the eagle.
“The scar is a reminder of a terrible thing that happened when I was a boy,” I explained. “One day, I’ll tell you more about it. That’s why I have the eagle. It symbolizes inspiration, release from bondage, and victory.”
I tucked a tendril of hair behind her right ear and noticed a scar along the outer edge above the earlobe. “Vera, what’s this?” I asked, tracing the scar.
Her eyes froze and lost their spark. Vera withdrew into an emotional lockdown.
“It’s a long story,” she whispered, bowing her head low.
The lioness had fallen.
“Tell me. I’ve got all night.” I pulled away more hair that curtained her face, placing it on her left shoulder.
“I was abused.”
One tear rolled down my goddess’s face.
Two tears.
Three tears.
And four.
And another.
Vera’s shoulders shook as the tears continued to run.
“Fuck.” I wrapped my arms around her. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. You don’t have to talk about it.”
“No, I want to talk about it.” Defiance shone in her reddened eyes.
I kissed her forehead and wiped the runaway tears from her cheeks. “I’m here for you. Whatever you tell me stays within these four walls.”
“I was in a relationship with a man who hurt me badly. His name is Ace Lockheart.” Vera remained silent for a few seconds, then continued her story. “Ace had outbursts of anger, which he took out on me. First, it was emotional abuse. Then, he beat me up. The worst beating happened in a hotel room.”
I lifted Vera’s chin. Her eyes pierced me like shards of dark glass.
“That’s how the scar came to be,” she said.
“Did you get help?”
“Yes, my brother, Julian, and his girlfriend, Sapphire, saved me from the devil.”
“What happened to Ace?” My face reddened with anger, and my nostrils flared. I wanted to kill Ace.
“Julian did some damage to the guy,” Vera said. Her soft touch landed on my arm, but my heart pounded and my facial muscles twitched. “Please, don’t get too invested in me,” she pleaded, rubbing my shoulder. “I’ve seen a therapist, and my emotional scars are healing.”
I squeezed Vera’s hand and pressed my lips on hers. “I want to protect you.”
“Let’s just enjoy a good time together.”
“What do you want? Tell me, love. What do you need?”
Vera moved closer, peppering my lips with fresh kisses. “I crave to be touched.”
I nodded and crashed my mouth into hers, desperate to lose myself in her. My tongue parted her soft lips, tasting heat and want. “I crave you,” I breathed between kisses. “I need you.”
I wanted more than just her body. I wanted to know Vera. She’d let me in tonight, raw and honest about her past, and for once, it didn’t feel like I was just playing the same old game. She wasn’t like the others. We both carried scars, and maybe someday I’d share mine too. But not yet. Not tonight.
Vera
One hour later
“Thanks for the lift.” I brushed a kiss over Alistair’s cheek as we stepped into Julian’s empty apartment.
“No problem. I want you safe at home.” Alistair glanced around, eyes tracking the gleam of the countertops and the perfectly aligned books on the shelf. “Is this your place? It’s spotless. Pristine.”
“It’s my brother’s. He’s out of town for work all week, so I’m crashing here. The cleanliness? All him. I’m not the neat freak in the family.”
“Ah.” Alistair walked around, inspecting the pristine furniture, and observed the photos near the bookshelf. He craned his neck and tilted his head, eyeing one particular photo of Julian.
“So, this is your brother?” he asked. His eyebrows knitted and his cheeks tightened, twitching ever so slightly.
“Yep. Julian.”
“Fuck, look at the time,” Alistair said as he glanced at his watch. “Look, Vera. Thanks for tonight. Hey, uh—”
“Yeah, listen, I had fun with you today, but I’m taking it slow. Not ready to dive headfirst into a full-blown relationship.”
“That makes two of us. No drama, no pressure. Stay in touch, alright?”
“Sure, why not?” I kept it breezy.
Alistair chuckled and shook his head. My handsome angel seemed perfect to me with his sparkling green eyes, but looks were deceptive. A minute after he left the apartment, my euphoria hit reality and plummeted into emotional deflation. Maybe I wasn’t ready to dive into something so fast.
Tears from the post-sex crash rolled down my face. My chest heaved with blows of longing for a man I couldn’t have. He seemed so out of reach.
I was royally screwed.