Chapter 27 Consequences of Naivety #3
He was trembling so hard, I couldn’t help but hug him again.
I didn’t care if he didn’t want to; he needed to be held.
And I needed to hold him, too, because I’d never seen him like this before, never heard him as broken.
“Lucien,” I whispered, tears escaping my eyes as I cradled his head close to my chest, “you don’t have to . . . you don’t have to c-continue—”
“I was an imbécile,” he hissed as he let me hug him, though his arms remained at his sides.
“For trusting that my pack was like family to me. That they would never dare cross that line. I had put faith and trust in them, in Jacques, and now I will have to suffer the consequences of my naivety for the rest of my life.”
I was about to object, to deny all that, to tell him he was not an imbécile for trusting the wrong people, but before I could, he suddenly raised his head and met my gaze, his own tears wetting his bristles.
“Before then, I had never killed,” he whispered, his tears falling freely.
“I hadn’t had any reason to. But when I saw the bodies of my mother and sisters, I felt rage like I had never felt before.
I saw red. And I, along with my sole surviving Beta, who was on my side, who was a true brother to me, unlike Jacques, went hunting. ”
He shook his head, looking away. “I killed and killed until all I could smell was that metallic stench of blood. But no matter how many disloyal pack members I killed, no matter the dark retribution I felt by ending Jacques’s life, my slaughtered pack members would never come back.”
The betrayal he’d described, the gravity of the situation, of everything he was telling me, made me sob. I realized, now, why he killed Mack Page, almost emotionlessly. Why he thought himself an idiot for trusting another Beta after Jacques’s betrayal.
“Only two members of the pack survived,” Lucien said now in a hollow voice, leaning back from me and staring at the ground, unseeing.
“Rémi, my cousin, though he was no longer a part of the pack ever since he moved to the States as a child, and Blaise, the only Beta who survived the attack and never left my side.
“After the Montvoilé pack’s demise, Blaise and I stayed with a human family,” he continued, and his tears dried as his face grew fierce with a frustrated kind of affection.
“It was the family of a man I met during my business with humans, and who became a true friend. His name is Olivier. Both he and his wife, Martha, are human. They shared the hobby of hunting. When my pack slaughtered each other, Olivier and his wife were caught in the cross fire while on a hunting trip. I found them wounded in the aftermath. Olivier, who’s ex-military, injured many of the pack members I fought, and inadvertently helped me and Blaise in our scourge. ”
Lucien turned to meet my gaze fully now.
“It made me realize that maybe, if only humans knew of our existence, they could’ve come and helped my pack members when I was away, just like Olivier and Martha did.
What if so many atrocities that happened to Otherborne could’ve been prevented by getting help from humans? ”
He cupped my face suddenly, tracing my cheeks with his thumbs. “Like when you helped me when I was on the verge of death.”
My heart broke at his words, and at his touch too. It reminded me of the conversation we’d had only an hour ago, about my emotions being manipulated as his Eteria. How selfish he felt for finding me and keeping me close despite everything he knew. The kiss . . .
“What happened to them?” I asked in a whisper, focusing on his story. His words. “To Olivier and Martha.”
His hands slid down from my face and held my own. He stared at my palms, almost studying them. “The French equivalent to the American Supernatural Society called it a breach of protocol, and much like Chase, the sorcerer, almost did to you, they erased the couple’s memories.”
He grew quiet then, and I did too. For a few long seconds, neither of us said anything as we held each other’s hands, as though trying to comfort and console one another. I felt raw and bleeding on the inside, and could only imagine how Lucien felt.
“I promised I would never let something like that happen again.” He suddenly spoke, breaking the silence, and caught my gaze.
His eyes almost pleading with me to believe him.
“When I was offered the position of an Alpha here in California, I promised that I would always be there for my pack members. That I would never be far. That I would take care of them.”
I nodded, leaning my forehead against his. “I know. I believe you.”
“Yet Kate was afflicted by Wildlight only four months into my job,” he said in a strained voice, “and I was blindsided and betrayed, yet again, by a Beta of my choosing. And now, one of the very few pack members I truly trust . . . Ana?s . . .”
His voice trailed off, and he pulled me close, burying his face in my neck and holding me tight. I held him just as tightly back. No more words were needed. I understood everything now.
Lucien was as much of a broken person as I was.
And maybe together, we two broken pieces could make a whole.