Chapter 14 #3
The moment Xander got back into the department’s SUV after visiting Greene Gardens three months ago, he knew he wanted to buy a property there.
Though he didn’t reveal that to his friend Jamal while they were at the firehouse construction site, Xander was definitely interested in learning more about the village, and that program Levi Weston mentioned.
After that first visit to Greene Gardens three months ago, he hadn’t been able to shake it.
One call to the contact Levi gave him turned into pre-approval paperwork, then weekend showings, and finally this house—family-friendly, close to the future firehouse, and in a neighborhood that just felt… right.
Last week, he’d signed the papers and walked out with keys in his palm and a stupid grin on his face, already picturing Rylee and the kids here.
Though he planned to travel the distance to bring the children to the school they knew in Brooklyn and to continue to work from his firehouse in Park Slope, Greene Gardens just seemed like the right choice.
That’s why in early September, he made an offer and negotiations followed but moved quickly, so that by late September the offer was accepted and he entered into a contract.
In that time, he scheduled inspection, appraisal, and a final walkthrough.
A week prior, he’d closed on the house and got the keys. As he and Rylee spoke, light prep inside the house had started—which included the setting up of a nursery and getting everything in order for the surprise reveal he was doing that night, next to Rylee in their bed.
Rylee shifted in her spot on the mattress to face him. “Xander, what exactly did you buy?”
He swallowed hard at her reaction.
Xander knew it was risky doing it like this. A conversation first would’ve probably sent her spiraling before he even got the words out. Anything new had Rylee panicking, and he understood why…
He just hoped that if she could see it first—feel it—she might believe what he was still trying to convince himself of… that a new house could be good for them.
He exhaled, steadying himself. The panic he’d hoped to sidestep was already flickering behind her eyes.
“I want to raise our family there,” he got straight to it. “It’s peaceful. Safe. Has a lot of room to grow.”
“Xander—”
“There’s five bedrooms, an en suite, and two baths,” he listed over her, getting completely in bed to face her. “This isn’t me trying to move you. This isn’t me asking you to leave your home. Your brownstone is sacred, Rylee. I know what it means. I would never take it away from you.”
Rylee’s bottom lip quivered. “But, Xander, baby—”
“I bought this because this program for first responders made it possible and because… I wanted to give us a maybe. A future to choose from… not a future to run to. You said it yourself. It’s beautiful, right?”
“It is, but...” She shook her head. “I can’t just leave this brownstone, Xander. I can’t just make a home somewhere other than here. Lennox bought this for me. For Nova. To be our only home.”
Her voice rose with each word spoken, not in anger but pure panic… something Xander was hoping to avoid.
Xander pressed a hand to her stomach. “Aight, baby, chill. Just… take it easy—”
“I need you to understand that this place is the kids and my history,” she continued, chest rising. “My whole life is in this house, Xander.”
Xander closed his eyes and took a breath. He knew it was a risk going about the home-buying process the way he did, keeping her out of it.
“He gave you a foundation.” Xander nodded, opening his eyes to hers. “But this family—our family, Rylee—it’s growing.”
Xander rubbed her belly, lowering his attention to it.
“And so is our love.”
Rylee was blinking her eyes quickly, eyes that were growing more and more glossy with tears as she stared back at him.
“But you know…” Xander said, reading her expression. “If this isn’t what you want, we stay right where we are. No pressure. No timeline. The keys go back. I don’t care. I only care that you feel safe.”
Rylee averted her eyes, turning her head away from him.
“But I also want you to know that what I told you, about not wanting to replace Lennox? I meant that, Rylee,” he said.
“I wouldn’t even dream of doing that. But this, right here…
” Xander tapped the phone’s screen. “This is about building a future, baby. LJ has a room, and so does Nova. This little guy is going to need one too, eventually—”
“We’re not moving,” Rylee interjected, her voice firm, finality heavy in her tone. “That’s the first and last conversation about any of this we’re going to have.”
Xander’s hand stilled on her baby bump.
There was a long pause between them. Too damn long of a pause, honestly.
So many things were racing through Xander’s head. So many emotions. Frustration, a little anger, but overall—understanding. The reality of it all was, they could not raise another child in the brownstone. There was literally no room to do that.
“So…” He held his breath. “Send the keys back?”
Rylee shook her head, bringing her hands to her face to growl into them. “I… I don’t know… I’m not saying that. I’m just saying I don’t want to talk about this right now. And I don’t know when I will.”
The baby could stay in their room for the first few months of his life, but after that, he’d need his own space.
But Xander knew Rylee wasn’t ready for that conversation. And because she’d made a lot of concessions without him having to ask, all he did was nod. Absorb her words.
He swallowed his disappointment, internalizing it all… including the rejection of something he saw as a dream for their family.
Xander didn’t know what stung more… her no, or how fast it came.
“Aight. I understand,” was how he ended the discussion.
Xander leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips before turning to his left to switch off the lamp on his side of the bed.
He reclined back on his pillow, one arm over his head, the other resting on his abs, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
He didn’t know how to feel in that moment, but he knew disappointment was at the top of that list.
Rylee shut off the lamp on her side of the bed, the room gradually falling dark.
Still, Xander kept his eyes on the ceiling above them.
The bed shifted. He felt her belly first and then her head on his chest. And even though he was a little upset with her, he couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach that fluttered from her touch.
He kept his attention above them but moved his hand to her stomach, caressing it softly.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered in the dark. “That was just… you just sprung that on me.”
Xander remained quiet.
“The house is beautiful,” she said, more volume in her voice. “So very beautiful. I just wish you would’ve spoken to me first.”
“Would you have been more open then?” he countered. “If I spoke to you about it first? Be honest.”
His voice rumbled through the room, low, still soft, but still carrying weight.
All Rylee did was sigh.
“Exactly,” he whispered.
Rylee pressed her head even firmer to his chest, her hand wrapping tighter around him, which made him fight his smile… giving in, even though he didn’t want to.
“I love you, baby,” she said against him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. Then another.
Xander closed his eyes at the feel of her hand smoothing up to his face then her teasing him by brushing her lips against the maze of his ear. Rylee turned his jaw so he could look at her in the dark. Then she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.
He moaned. Folding like a paper plane.
Damn.
Xander was so easy when it came to Rylee.
And he knew it.
He didn’t hesitate to turn to face her, pulling her even closer. Her baby bump between them did the job of touching his heart, reminding him that despite her want to hang on to the past, their future was here… and so close… something she wouldn’t be able to deny for much longer.
But he left it for the night. Unresolved.
Because something in him always gave way whenever she touched him like that. That thread of intimacy between them stayed alive, tethering them even in disagreement.
So as he kissed her back, moving her into position to make love, Xander knew… as much as Rylee wanted that to be the first and last conversation about the house… it couldn’t be.
He pressed kisses onto her, let her think it was over.
But in the quiet of the dark, Xander knew this couldn’t be the last time they talked about the house. Not because he wanted to win, but because their lives were growing… whether they were ready or not.
Still, for now, he let it rest.
She needed time.
And he could wait.