Chapter 50
Capri
Brady
“Mom, can I speak to you out on the terrace?” I hold out my arm for her.
The wedding dinner has finished and there’s a short interlude before the entertainment.
“I have something important to say.” Better to talk to my mother out of earshot of others but still in a public setting since I know she won’t display too much emotion in front of other people.
She’s flying back tomorrow. This is my last chance.
I wave to my sister and Gemma. Claire gives me a thumbs up and Gemma blows me a kiss.
As we walk away from the table, a chamber ensemble begins to play in the ballroom and a team of audio-visual people prepare the room for Samantha Garcia to perform.
We walk across the terrace; the magical sunset hour has started to leave long orange and gold shadows across the green lawn.
Yachts and ferries crisscross the calm water and below us the small public beach has a crowd of people hoping to catch a glimpse of the festivities.
“Brady, is this going to take long? I don’t want to miss that Samantha Garcia song,” my mom says. She moves her hand behind her neck to fluff her hair.
“You mean ‘Love More Fearless’? How do you know that song?”
“Elena, my personal trainer, plays it. It’s wonderful. Great beat. Now what is all this about?”
We sit on one of the cushioned settees set up near the edge of the railing.
A jet rumbles above us, heading east, and I stretch my neck in case it’s close enough to see.
Hayes could be on that jet. His flight should be leaving now.
If I have any chance of ever working things out with him, I have to take this next step.
But more importantly I need to take this next step for myself, otherwise nothing will ever change.
“Mom, I’m not going to law school.” The words come out cleanly and easily.
She laughs. Nothing sardonic, just a normal chortle since what I’m saying is, on the surface, ridiculous.
“Brady, you could have told me this joke inside. Why make me walk in these heels on the grass? Of course you’re going to law school.
” She looks at me seriously now, her expression even and controlled.
“We’ve been courting the dean all year, the tuition is paid.
Your father knows the professor teaching your torts class.
I even bought a few suits waiting for you back home. ”
This woman uses formal wear as a weapon.
“Mom, I’m not going. I’m sorry. I should have told you before. That’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let you do all this.”
My mother sighs and folds her hands on her lap. “Brady, I don’t understand. What are you going to do? Live in the pool house for another year?”
“I’m going to be a kindergarten teacher.” No hesitation. I hear the confidence in my voice and it makes me sit up with a straighter spine.
“What? You’re going to be a male nanny?” She truly thinks I’m speaking another language.
“Mom, I know you know being a nanny is different than being a kindergarten teacher, and they are both valid jobs, so stop with that. I’m going to get my teaching certificate,” I say.
I almost add “at North Boston,” since in my stomach I feel a glimmer of hope and excitement.
I never knew a spark of true confidence could create so many different feelings.
“A kindergarten teacher,” she says with the tone she uses for describing counterfeit Gucci. “I see.” No emotion. Just a blank stare.
“That’s what I love. Being with Gemma this spring…”
“But Brady, that’s because she’s your niece. I knew your sister should have hired a temp. You were just playing with her.”
“It’s more than that. We weren’t just playing. We were learning together, and I found ways to make it fun, and that made me feel important. It made me feel smart. I liked that feeling. I want more.”
“I don’t understand. You’d be working with your father and your sister in one of the most powerful firms in the world. Don’t you think they’re smart?” She smooths the fabric on the sash of her gown.
“Yes, of course they’re smart. They’re brilliant at what they do.
And I want to feel brilliant at what I do.
It just happens to be something different.
Don’t you want me to feel that way?” I push my palm on to my chest and feel my heart beating.
I’m nervous she’s going to choose working in the family firm over her son’s happiness.
She adjusts her earring with a frown. “If that’s what you want to do.
” My hand drops from my chest in a moment of relief.
“Your father will be disappointed.” She takes a long pause, looking me over, but I remain unaffected by her intimidation.
Then I see her face change. “I can’t stop you.
You’re an adult. You can do what you want. ”
“I can?” I ask, my eyebrows pushed together.
This is not what I was expecting. I thought she’d ship me off to law school kicking and screaming.
I’m not sure how to react. Part of me wants to jump up and down like a little kid but I have to keep playing the grown-up card.
Maybe now that she sees me treating myself like an adult, it’s easier for her to do the same.
“It’s not something that I understand, you’re right.
Claire was like your father, and don’t tell him this, but even more ambitious than him.
So I thought you would be too, but you were so different than Claire.
Than all of us.” I’m glad she can see that about me.
“But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
In my way.” She looks out at the water for a moment and then turns back.
“Maybe you could go to law school first and see if you like it… then you could…”
“No,” I say quickly. “I’m not doing that, Mom.”
She holds up her hands in defeat. “I don’t know what’s happened to you this summer, but you aren’t the boy barricaded in my pool house all last year.”
I can’t tell if this is a compliment or not. I wasn’t planning on bringing up what I know about what she did to get me the job since it’s beyond our usual level of communication. Instead I say with a casual tone, “I guess your little plan worked.”
She gets up from the settee, adjusts her hair with her hand and touches the corners of her mouth to clear any stray lipstick. She smiles at me with her mouth closed. A happy and knowing grin. “Maybe it did. Maybe it just did.” She turns and walks back to the ballroom.
I did it. I hold my cheeks with my hands and let out a Hayes-inspired, “Woo-doggie!” I told my mom the truth about who I think I want to become.
I feel this sense of knowing myself that I’ve never felt before and it rushes through my body making my toes and fingers tingle.
I freed myself from law school. At last, I’m going to make my own way in the world.
I watch my mother walking toward the reception and think about the knowing grin she flashed before turning back.
I wonder if this is what she’s wanted all along.
Not for me to get her permission to follow my own path but for me to finally declare it on my own terms. Is that why she set this all in motion?
Maybe she felt guilty about what happened in Chicago and wanted to give me a second chance with Hayes.
Maybe she knew how much I needed him to trust my own compass.
But everything with Hayes is a mess. The sudden rush of excitement drains out of my body. He’s flying home right now. Any possibility of reuniting with Hayes is on its way to Boston, without me.
Claire and my niece walk out of the ballroom Gemma runs over and hugs my leg.
“Don’t you want to see Samantha Garcia?” I ask. “I think the show is starting soon.” I pick Gemma up and hold her on my side with her arms wrapped around my neck.
“We wanted to come see you, Uncle Brady,” she says.
“How did it go?” Claire asks.
“It went better than I expected.” I bounce Gemma and turn so she can see out across the water and so I can whisper to Claire, “I’ll give you the details later.”
“Hey, it’s our song,” Gemma says, pulling on the shoulder of my tuxedo.
“What?” I ask. I look inside and see that the performance hasn’t started. “What song?”
“Our song,” she says, and points down. I put her on the ground and once she lands, she starts doing the “Stop! In the Name of Love” dance I taught her.
We look over the terrace railing and down at the public beach.
A group of more than two dozen people singing “Stop! In the Name of Love.” There is a man in a tuxedo that is way too big for him on a rock shouting the lyrics through an antique megaphone he’s holding with one arm and conducting the crowd with the other.
“It’s Hayes. It’s him,” I say with equal parts excitement and confusion.
I leave my niece with her mom and run over to where the stairs meet the terrace.
I start down the steps as fast as I can.
Security is on the landing to prevent people from coming up, but they can’t stop me from leaving the wedding and going down, so I step past the guards as the sound of Hayes’ horribly off-key bass sings, “Stop! In the Name of Love.” Now, I’m racing down the stairs and laughing so hard I can barely see what I’m doing.
By the time I get to the beach he has the crowd of people around him enjoying his insane performance, singing and laughing with him. He jumps on a higher rock and keeps leading them like an orchestra.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, making my way to him.
He holds out his hand for me to step up and join him.
The crowd around us cheers. I would have thought Hayes would be red with embarrassment but it’s the opposite.
He’s smiling proudly. “Grazie tutti. Thank you everybody,” Hayes says, releasing his impromptu chorus.
“I wanted to know if you needed a date for this big fancy wedding I heard about,” he says casually and then lowers the megaphone I recognize from the wall of the hotel.
“Hayes, you’re supposed to be on a flight.
Getting ready for medical school. Forgetting about me.
” The words tumble out; I’m trying to make sense of what is going on.
This is so far beyond his comfort zone. Hayes on a rock singing in front of a group of strangers he’s conducting is part of some other timeline, but then maybe I am finally on the right one.
“I could never forget about you.” His eyes connect with mine and his voice is serious and controlled.
“Brady, I’m sorry about managing you the way I did.
I realize how it made you feel. You’re right, I want to protect you.
I’m always going to want to do that, but I shouldn’t make you feel fragile. Because you aren’t. You’re so strong.”
“Thank you, Hayes. That means a lot to me.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder for you.
After you left, I knew I needed to show you how much you mean to me.
I couldn’t wait until we were home to show you.
I couldn’t wait a day longer. I want you to know we can make this work.
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I knew when I found out.
I do believe in you. I wanted to show you that I’ll do anything to prove it to you.
Even stand on rock in the middle of the beach and serenade you with a bunch of strangers. Brady, I love every part of you.”
“Thank you,” I say and feel the words in my heart. “I know you do. I’m sorry I stormed out. I was devastated by finding out like I did. All my self-doubt came flooding back, but I shouldn’t have doubted you.”
“I gave you reason to, but I’m not going to anymore. I believe in you. I’m going to show you.”
“You know who else believes in me?” I point to myself. “This guy. I told my mom my plans. No law school. Future teacher. Right here.”
“You told her?” His mouth opens and his eyes are wide with delight and some surprise.
“Yep. Just now. I can do this. I can take the path I want. I know I have the strength to do it now on my own, but I want to do it with you.”
“Brady, I love you. I love you so much because of who you are. All of you.”
“I love you too, Hayes. You make me want to be better. Everything I’ve ever been given in my life was handed to me. Except one thing. You.” I put my hand on his chest. “I fought to have you in my life, and it’s made me love you even more.”
Hayes looks off in the distant for just a moment and then his eyes return to me. “I’ve fought for everything I’ve ever had. I don’t have to keep my defenses up twenty-four seven because that is what I’ve always done. I want to let people in. I want to let you in.”
Hayes puts his arms around me and I slide closer to his body.
Our mouths meet and our lips press together as the waves crash upon the rocks beneath us.
The makeshift choir Hayes conducted a few moments ago is now gathered around us on the rocks below cheering us on, some holding up half empty bottles of wine and others applauding.
“Wait, do you hear that?” Hayes says.
“The crowd? How could I not? I think they’re glad they got a happy ending.”
“Me too,” he says, and kisses me on the lips. “But I mean up there.” He points up to the terrace. I can hear music from the wedding beyond the crowd and see blue, red and green lights swirling and shining from the ballroom.
Hayes jumps off the rock and extends his hand for me. “Come on. We don’t want to miss it.”
“You want to see the show?” I ask, following him through the cheering crowd and back to the stairs leading up to the reception.
“No, I don’t want to watch it. You said she was hosting karaoke. I want to be the show. I’ve already made a fool of myself down here at the beach in front of strangers. I’m ready to do it in front of your family.” He rushes ahead, holding my hand.
I’m blown away by him. We get to the landing and I ask, “You are seriously going to sing ‘Love More Fearless’ in front of all those people? On stage? With her?”
“No,” Hayes says. “I’m going to sing ‘Stop! In the Name of Love,’ with her and you are going to teach us your choreo. What better teacher could she have?”
He kisses me on the nose and holds my hand in his as we climb up the stairs toward the music and lights, ready to join the party together.