Chapter 26
Rory
I can’t believe I let Morgan talk me into this.
She came into the bar the other day and insisted I join her for a friend outing and at the time I was too rushed to think of an excuse, so I had to say yes. Now that I’m about to leave my apartment, though, I’m second guessing myself.
I’ve never had a ton of girlfriends; most people haven’t wanted to stick around when my depression hits and I withdraw. I get it. I know it’s not fun, but it means I’ve lost my ‘girl’ skills and I’m not sure what to talk about. I’m standing at the door, giving myself a mental pep talk when my phone dings.
Morgan : No bailing, you better be there tonight. I’m on the way there now.
Me: Don’t text and drive!
Morgan: Fuck no! I made Charli drive.
Me : Good call. Fine. I’ll show.
Morgan : Atta girl, I promise it’s a good group.
After a deep breath, I pocket my phone and head out. Part of me feels as though I should have dressed up a bit before I remember it doesn’t matter. I just need to be myself. There’s no way Morgan would have friends who are that shallow. Once parked, I find my way inside and search the bar for Morgan. We picked somewhere other than Jerry’s so I could relax instead of feeling like I should work.
Finally, I see her at a large table further in the room, sitting with two women. They’re both bigger. One has hot pink hair piled on top of her head and the other with dark brown hair that reaches her shoulders. As I approach, I see a third woman approach, with long curly blond hair. My steps falter and I second guess myself again, but before I can take any steps away, Morgan looks around and promptly spots me.
“Rory! Get over here!” she yells, standing and waving at me.
My face turns bright red, and the other girls start waving, big smiles on their faces.
I can do this .
I plaster on what I hope looks like a friendly smile and do an awkward wave back as I pick my way through the small crowd. It’s not packed, but there’s enough people that I need to weave my way through. As I finally reach the table, Morgan stands up to greet me.
“Yay you came!” she yells and gives me a quick hug.
“Well, you did threaten my life,” I tease her.
“What? I would never .”
“ Yeah, okay,” the girl with the curly hair snorts.
Morgan sticks her tongue out and introduces everyone. The shorter girl with the curly blonde hair is Courtney, dark brown hair is Olivia, and pink hair is Charli. I nod and say the required niceties before taking my seat between Charli and Morgan.
The server comes by with a tray full of shots for the table. They get passed around and I eye mine critically. It’s awfully colorful, which immediately makes me suspicious. The fruity ones usually pack the biggest punch. Morgan nudges my shoulder with hers.
“Just drink it. I promise we won’t take advantage of you. Unless you want us to.”
A laugh escapes me as I roll my eyes and all the girls raise their shot glasses. I raise mine to mimic the moment.
“To friends, new and old, unexpected, and badass,” Charli says.
“And to bitches!” Courtney chimes in.
We all laugh before downing the shots. Not bad, honestly. I was a little more worried it would taste strong, so now it’s just a matter of making sure I pace myself.
“Do you guys always toast?” I ask.
Charli groans and rolls her eyes, but Courtney cracks up.
“Courtney and my brothers made up these rules about doing a cheers, so now it’s a thing and usually I only make them when it’s just them, but it felt right for tonight since we have you now.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“She means you’re part of the group now,” Olivia says like it’s common knowledge.
I’m sure my face looks as bewildered as I feel because they’re all staring at me with small smiles.
“Just go with it. They tend to adopt friends like we’re candy,” Morgan says, smiling.
“Usually our other friend, Amy, is the one who really can vibe out who we’re going to add, but I’ve got a good feeling,” Olivia explains.
An overwhelming feeling washes over me, and I’m not sure if it’s good or not. My face feels hot, but I can feel my mouth smiling too. Maybe it won’t be so bad. Maybe these girls are the real deal. It would be nice to have some friends again. Courtney picks up the conversation after a moment of slightly uncomfortable silence and Charli looks over at me.
“Anxiety?” she asks bluntly.
“What?”
“You look uncomfortable. I wanted to see if you deal with anxiety too. Mine gets bad sometimes, but it’s been better with some counseling and medication adjustments.”
“Why would you tell me all that?”
She smiles kindly. “Because you look as overwhelmed as I sometimes feel, so I figured I would ask. You don’t have to answer, but I’m pretty open about my anxiety.”
I look at her for a second, trying to decide if she’s being sincere. There’s no reason to think she’s not being sincere, but I know firsthand how easy it is to be fooled. Her face is open and kind, and she gives me a little reprieve by taking a sip of her water while I process her words.
Well, nothing good ever came from inaction.
“Uh, depression.”
Charli nods and takes another drink, making a point not to rush the conversation, which I’m grateful for.
“I’m used to people taking off when they realize how bad it can get.”
Charli gives me a rueful smile. “I’m used to pushing people away before they can leave me, kind of on the opposite side of the social spectrum.”
I am genuinely baffled by this information. The only time I’ve been able to push someone away is when I left Nathan, and even that was more running than pushing.
“Why would you push someone away?”
“If I end things before they start, I don’t get hurt.”
“I can understand that.”
Charli holds up her water, and I grab mine, holding it up as well. “To mental illness. May it always fuck off.”
Laughing, I touch my glass to hers, and we take a drink. Maybe this won’t be so bad.
“Did you just cheers with WATER?” Charli and I look over to see Courtney’s face twisted in mock horror.
“Oh fuck off, rules don’t count unless Graham and Thomas are here!”
We fall into an easy pattern of laughter and stories amidst a few drinks. Charli and Courtney have known each other for years because Courtney is her brother’s best friend. Olivia has been Charli’s friend since they were kids, and Morgan got pulled in under semi-unfortunate circumstances.
“Wait, wait, wait, you dated Charli’s boyfriend, and somehow you guys ended up friends? How the fuck does that happen?” Apparently, alcohol has loosened my tongue.
“Oh my god it was SO bad.” Charli laughs.
Morgan buries her hands in her face, but she’s also laughing. The girls wait for her to look up and realize she’s the one who will be explaining this. She glares at them.
“You’re all assholes,” she says without any heat.
“You love us!” Olivia sing-songs back.
Morgan goes on to explain how when she met Charli, she tried to bring her down from an anxiety attack and ended up making everything worse. Charli deals with a lot of fat-phobic people and she thought Morgan was one of them. They got things sorted out and everything clicked after that. Morgan and Charli’s boyfriend, Jax, never wanted to get back together, so it was comfortable to keep Morgan around.
“God, do you remember Roman’s face when Jax heard her?” Olivia asks.
“I don’t think I’ve seen him go that white before!” Charli laughs.
“Who’s Roman?” I ask.
“My other boyfriend,” Charli says, not skipping a beat.
“You too?” I ask in excitement.
“Wait, are you dating two guys?”
“Yes! We made it official recently, so now I get to call them boyfriend. Except they didn’t give me a note asking me to check ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to their request.”
“It’s like they don’t even care about you!”
“Right? You get me.”
“Let’s ditch the boys and we can ride off into the sunset. Mine will understand, it’s been a year, they’ve gotten the best of me,” Charli jokes.
We devolve into laughter, but I feel someone stepping up behind me. The mood of the table sobers, and I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
Please be Wes or Kyle. Please be Wes or Kyle.
I know it’s not though, and I square my shoulders in preparation to try to deal with this. My thumb automatically inputs the code to my phone, and I hand it under the table to Morgan. She nods and I see her scrolling through the contacts.
“Didn’t take you for a dyke, E.”
Fuck .
“Didn’t take you for someone who doesn’t understand basic English, asshole,” I retort.
Unwilling to do this without seeing him, I adjust in my chair just enough to see Nathan standing a step or two away from me and Charli. His eyes are roaming the table, which has gone deathly silent. The girls all watching him with narrowed eyes.
“I understand just fine, E. I choose to ignore stupid ideas.”
“Leave me alone, Nathan. I’m tired of telling you that.”
“I’m tired of you thinking this is a choice. I’ve given you space. I’ve let you have some time to yourself. It’s time to stop pretending now. Your ass is mine and you’re coming home with me.”
Nathan starts his sentence angry, but as he talks, he gets calmer, and my fear ratchets up about ten notches. Quiet isn’t good with him. Quiet means that he’s got a plan. It means he’s thinking about how to trap me. I can see him forming a plan as we talk, tucking his anger away to use on me later. My back is to Morgan, so I have no idea if she was able to text the guys or not.
“You need to get over yourself. We’re done. We’ve been done. I moved on a while ago. I’m not yours and I never will be again.”
“Apparently, you’ve lost your manners. Do I need to make plans to put them back in place? I got the lip out of you once. I can do it again. Maybe you just need a firmer hand.”
“The fuck is wrong with you?” Olivia exclaims.
Nathan’s gaze snaps over to her, completely iced over. “Stay out of this, bitch, it doesn’t concern you.”
“The fuck I will! You don’t get to threaten someone like that! Especially not one of our friends!”
“Fuck. Off,” Nathan says coldly, staring at her.
“Olivia, it’s fine,” I tell her.
“You coming with me, then? Finally figured out your place?”
I have no plans to go with him, but I’m not sure what to say to diffuse this situation. I don’t know how to get out of this without caving, but I know the second I do that it’s game over for me. Maybe not with my physical body, but with everything else in me. In the last year since I’ve been free of him, I’ve found my voice again. Maybe I’ve still hidden from people, but I remember my worth. I know what I deserve from relationships.
Nathan will break me. Again. He’ll seep into every thought I have and twist it to make me believe I’m worthless. He’ll lord it over me and insist that he’s the only one who could ever love me. I’ll believe him after he wears me down long enough and I won’t see my new friends here at this table. I won’t have Kyle. I won’t have Wes. As these fears cross through my mind, I realize how much those men have come to mean to me. How much I want them in my life. They’re worth the fight. I need to fight.
Before I get a chance to make the effort to get out of this, a couple of men approach the table. They’re both tall, one with blond hair pulled back into a small, low ponytail, and the other with short hair and a face that looks like it’s usually friendly. Now, though, there’s definitely some fire in him as they walk over to the table. I feel Morgan’s hand on my back, a steady reassurance. I’m not sure what she’s reassuring me of, but I’m taking the comfort, anyway.
I reply to Nathan as I keep those two approaching men in the periphery of my vision. “I’m not going with you.”
“You fucking bitch!” he seethes quietly.
While I’m grateful for the lack of volume, I am still very aware that his quiet is dangerous.
“You better not be calling our girl a bitch,” the blond one all but growls as they approach.
Charli’s face instantly changes to one of relief. She turns her head to the men and holds out a hand. The quiet one takes it, and a small smile graces his face, while the blond one hasn’t stopped glaring at Nathan. Nathan’s face is starting to turn red with rage, and I’m unsure what to do, how to handle the situation now that these new men are involved. Maybe this was what Morgan’s hand was for. Maybe they’re calvary.
“Stay out of it. This doesn’t concern you,” Nathan replies.
“It concerns me when my girl is involved. Time for you to leave before we kick up a real fuss and get you thrown out.”
Nathan gives him a cursory look, turns his face toward me, then evaluates the blond guy again. His jaw sets in determination, but he focuses his attention back on me instead of keeping it on the new guy.
“I’m coming for you. You are mine and you don’t get to escape me.”
He turns and walks away, his posture deceptively calm and cool. Once he’s at the door, the table finally relaxes and the blond guy turns to look directly at me. His eyes are piercing, and I’m caught off guard by the direct stare he’s giving me.
“What the fuck are you getting my girl into?” he asks, firm but not necessarily unkind.
“Roman!” Charli scolds.
His eyes flick to her, but he shrugs and directs his stare right back to me. I shrug back as a response. What does he want from me? I don’t know what to tell him. Sorry, wrong place, wrong time? He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would go for that.
“Could you not be an asshole for five minutes?” the other guy asks.
“I’m a nice guy,” Roman protests.
Olivia coughs something that sounds suspiciously like bullshit into her hand. Morgan and Courtney both snicker. Roman rolls his eyes and pulls a chair over to the table, grumbling to himself as he sits between me and Charli. She pokes him in the side.
“Move, I want to sit by my new friend.”
Roman sighs but stands up so Charli can scoot to his seat, settling next to me again. “The grumpy one is Roman, and the strangely quiet one is Jax. They’re my guys.”
Jax moves and settles between Morgan and Olivia. “Hi Liv. Hey new girl.”
“Uh, hi, I’m Rory. You guys usually just show up to save girls being harassed?”
Jax grins. “Wouldn’t it be badass if that was the case?”
“They were already on the way here for their own hang out. They’re needy and wanted to spy on the ‘new girl’,” Charli explains.
Morgan leans over and hands me my phone. “I texted your guys. I assume that’s why you handed me your phone.”
“Yeah, thanks. Did they reply?”
“They did, but it was right when I saw Roman and Jax coming, so I told them you were safe and you’d let them know.”
I look at my phone and sure enough, the guys have kept up the messages, asking if I’m okay. I tell them I am and that I’ll be home soon. There are a few additional messages of concern, but I reassure them it’s fine, that Charli’s guys showed up and chased Nathan off. I don’t want to interrupt anyone’s night more than I already have. Looking over at Morgan, I feel a surge of appreciation for her. My arm goes around her shoulders in an awkward side hug.
“Thank you. Thank you for having my back.”
She squeezes me back. “Of course, you’re one of my girls now.”
“What about me? I want to be one!” Olivia exclaims.
Courtney piles on too, and I start giggling uncontrollably at the antics.
“I’ll be all of yours, I promise.”
My heart is pretty damn full right now.