Chapter 2 #2
“You are not fine. I know you, Rebecca Bradley. And nothing eats at your bones quite like a well-intended let’s wait and see.”
“Then I hope you’re taking notes on how much I love you,” I say. “I would like to meet him, though. And if I don’t think he’s good enough for you, I’m not going to pretend otherwise.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Mia says.
“And I can wait a little while before signing my next contract, but come September first, I’ll have to make a decision about where I’m going.
” I don’t say out loud that I’ll have to make it with or without Mia.
But I don’t have to. She knows I won’t stay in Atlanta—it was only a viable choice in the first place because our housing is free.
The money doesn’t matter as much to Mia, but I have to stick to my plan, which means going back to California as soon as our contract here is over.
“Also exactly what I expected,” Mia says, but then her expression softens. “Not that I want us to split up. I totally don’t.”
“Of course not,” I agree. “So let’s not talk about it unless we know it’s going to happen for sure.”
“Right. Good plan,” Mia says. She takes another swig of my soda. “So, what’s up with you? How was your day?”
I breathe out a sigh. “Ugh. I don’t know.” I pause for a beat before adding, “I think I might need to break up with Rory?”
Her eyes widen. “Shut up. For real? Wait. Is that why you’re watching videos of your ex?”
“I wasn’t watching videos multiple,” I say. “It was one. One single video. And no, that didn’t have anything to do with Rory.”
“So what’s up, then?”
“I don’t even know. He texted to tell me he’s going to Tokyo for a while, and I felt … weirdly apathetic? Like, I didn’t even care that we won’t talk while he’s gone.”
“Did he say that?” Mia asks. “That you won’t talk? Phones still work in Tokyo.”
“Not explicitly,” I say. “But I think it was implied? And I didn’t even question. But I should have, right? I should want to know when I’ll hear from him and how we’ll sync up our schedules and when he’ll be home.”
“You should definitely want to know those things. Are you sure you don’t? Are you just missing him and feeling weird about the distance?”
“Maybe? I just kinda feel numb? Possibly even … relieved that we won’t be talking?”
Mia grimaces. “Relieved? Girl. That’s a bad sign.”
“I know! But like … our conversations have been so strained lately. Like we’re trying so hard to be normal, but it doesn’t feel normal. It just feels off.”
She frowns. “I’m sorry. That sucks.”
I lift an eyebrow, surprised by her relatively tame response. Mia isn’t exactly Rory’s biggest fan. “Really? You think it sucks that I might break up with Rory?”
“Oh, come on,” she says. “I know I give you grief about him, but that doesn’t mean I want you to break up.”
“You pretend to fall asleep whenever I mention his name,” I say, and she presses her lips together like she’s fighting a smile.
“I didn’t this time.”
“Because I told you I was thinking about ending things.”
“And I’m an excellent friend and that would have been rude,” Mia says.
“But also, I do want you to be happy. And for all his…” She hesitates like she’s trying to find the right word.
“Dryness,” she finally says, “Rory does seem to make you happy. Maybe you need to give it a couple of weeks? Let his trip to Tokyo be a litmus test for how it might feel if you did end things.”
I nod. “So I shouldn’t just … dump him right now via text?”
“You should not,” Mia says. “You’re an adult. That means no text breakups ever.”
I huff out a sigh. “I hate adulting.”
“You and me both,” Mia says. She leans over and taps my phone screen. “Now talk to me about this one video you mentioned. You sure it doesn’t mean anything? I thought you swore those off.”
“I did,” I say. “And it was totally an accident. It just popped up in my feed.”
“And you decided to watch,” Mia says.
“Entirely the fault of the billboard. Theo’s been popping into my brain all day.”
“Fair,” Mia says. “It’s some billboard.”
I turn on my phone and find the video, sliding it over for Mia to watch.
For any other high school relationship, it might be silly to give it this much attention.
But my relationship with Theo was anything but typical.
We were that couple. Deeply in love. Basically inseparable.
We started dating at homecoming our junior year, and we never looked back.
After that, if he wasn’t playing hockey, he was with me.
Right up until he wasn’t anymore.
There aren’t many people who know the whole story. It was a dark time in my life, and I don’t like to talk about it. Mia only knows because in our third year of nursing school, we celebrated passing our pharmacology class with just enough tequila to dislodge the entire saga.
The basic gist: once upon a time, I fell in love with a boy destined for greatness. Then his dad died in an unthinkable tragedy, a car accident with Theo behind the wheel, and somehow, our relationship became collateral damage.
Right from the start, Theo’s grief made him push everyone away, but I held on, trusting he would come around, trusting that eventually, he would let me in. But he only retreated farther into himself. Weeks went by, and he wouldn’t even speak to me, let alone let me see him.
Carter tried to explain I hadn’t done anything wrong, but that did little to lessen the pain of losing a relationship that had felt like a living, breathing thing, like something vital to my very existence.
It was horrible to watch someone I loved lose someone he loved. But it was doubly hard because I watched from the outside. Because I wanted to help, and he never gave me the chance.
“Is that true?” Mia asks, sliding my phone back to me when the video ends. “Carter was the romantic one?”
I stand and lift my bag onto my shoulder, then pocket my phone and tug my soda out of Mia’s hands.
“Not even a little,” I say. “Theo was a total romantic. Poems, flowers, perfect dates. He did all of it.” I shake the mostly empty cup, hearing the nugget ice rattle. “Did you seriously drink all of this?”
“I’ll buy your dinner as a thank you,” Mia says. “Smash burgers? I’m craving sweet potato fries.”
“It’s either that or leftover stir-fry.”
“Ohhh. Leftovers tomorrow? Smash burgers tonight?”
“Deal,” I say.
We keep chatting as we ride the elevator down to the parking garage and step into the humid Georgia air. I pause long enough to dig through my bag for my keys. When I finally pull them out, I look up to see Mia facing me, eyes wide.
“What? What is it?” I say.
She reaches out and squeezes my shoulders with both hands. “Just keep breathing,” she says. Then she steps to the side to reveal Theo Williamson leaning against the trunk of my car.