Chapter 14
—Kienna—
Kienna paced. She should have gone back inside.
Leaving the woodcarver like that with people he didn’t know was selfish, but her fingers were already bleeding, and she couldn’t stand to face them.
The moment her head hit the pillow the night before, she was thrown into a nightmare.
King Vaerin found her again, and she was back in a dungeon, suffocating on water and shadows, before she woke.
Ruva tried to calm her. Connak held his word, forcing himself into her mind the minute she didn’t call him, and talked her out of the panic attack.
Losing control over her body haunted her, spinning her into a mental spiral.
Connak’s presence pulled her back, and she cried in his arms as the song she tried desperately to forget pulsed relentlessly in her brain.
Connak’s soothing magic was the only thing that calmed her mind.
When she finally found her steadiness, she ran.
Her feet slapped the ground for hours as she barreled through the streets of Dove Port, committing each path to memory.
By the end of it, Kienna knew which streets led where, how to get out of dead ends, which walls were easiest to climb over, and places Ruva could hide during the day.
She ran, wondering if she would find hints of another woodcarver in Dove Port.
She scoured for clues of Maren’s quest for her. She never found any.
Why won’t you talk to Connak about these nightmares? Ruva whined, pancaking her body out of the shadows and over to her feet.
I want to move on. We came here to live, remember? Not to be stuck.
A black shadow appeared in her path. At first, it had no form, a mere darkness shading the alleyway.
As it took shape, black ink spilled across the void, slipping and sliding until it slowly formed clothing, then skin.
Kienna’s heart lurched into her throat as she thrust her fist into it.
Tislin appeared in full form, blocking her attempt.
His presence would have provided relief if she hadn’t suffered the shadows in her dreams—shadows that were so incredibly similar to Tislin’s.
She panted, then lunged again. Tislin dodged, annoyingly smooth in his motions.
Kienna desperately needed to hit something, needed to release the tension squeezing her chest, and assert control over something—anything—in her life.
Tislin, moving away with such ease, left her with a searing anger in her body that only grew.
She pushed forward. Tislin pushed back. Fighting him was not like fighting anyone else.
At times, he had a physical form, and at others, he used shadows to appear a few steps behind her.
But he didn’t stop her. He let her go until she couldn’t anymore.
She landed on the ground, staring at the bright cobblestones underneath her.
Tislin sat. “Connak called for me early this morning. Care to explain?”
“No,” she said, pressing her cheek into the stone. Warmth collected from the sun flowed through Kienna’s face. “How do I fight a shadow?”
“With light,” Tislin said bluntly.
She couldn’t see his face, but she imagined it held amusement. Kienna pushed herself from the stone, shifting until she faced him. “I was tortured by shadows in Vaerin’s dungeons once. They choked me, suffocated me until I thought I was drowning, but there was no water.”
“Vaerin can command the Shades?” Tislin’s brow cocked, and his mouth parted.
Kienna ran her hands over her face. She must have looked awful after the crazed night of trying to escape it all. “If Shades are the shadow creatures, then he has a few.”
“These are things you need to be telling Connak,” Tislin said. His voice carried a stern disappointment that nearly made Kienna lash out again. She didn’t have the energy, so she held it in. “So, why don’t you?”
“I’m tired of appearing so broken—especially to him. All he can see are pieces of me.” Kienna shook her head, staring up into the sky. “I’d rather learn how to fight the shadows, not talk about them.”
Tislin exhaled deeply through his nose. “I can help you, but I do not know what good it will do. No one has defeated one.”
Kienna wanted to ask him more, like how he became a master of something no one could defeat.
Was he a Shade? How did it all work? Those details were intimately interwoven into Tislin, and she didn’t intend to show him the bits of her she wanted to keep hidden.
Instead, she stood from the ground, helping Tislin up.
They needed to get back to Calder before Moira and Elowen had to entertain him any further.
Tislin opened the door for her. Before she entered, she touched his shoulder. “Can your shadows help build a ship?”
“No,” he smiled. “But I can. And my section of the Blades, if you need it.”
“You sure?”
“If you talk to Connak about your nightmares.”
Kienna pursed her lips together and cut her gaze from him. She didn’t want to keep circling the nightmares, but if getting Tislin’s help meant opening up to Connak, she’d do it. The woodcarver tugged on her heart. Hard enough to let Tislin manipulate her.
She moved up the stairs and back into the apartment. Clanging burst from the washroom. Moira and Elowen were barely visible from the door, but they were moving frantically. Where was Master Calder?
Kienna found him in the washroom, where he sat limply on the floor near the privy. “What happened?” she asked, checking his forehead for a fever.
“His body is detoxing,” Elowen answered, feeding her mouse a seed from her pocket. “Drank himself silly for twenty years; he was bound to get here eventually.”
“He looks like he’s dying,” Moira said, rushing a washcloth over Calder’s neck.
Master Calder trembled. He placed his shaking hand on Kienna’s shoulder and attempted to whisper something. Kienna asked Moira for water, but he shook and knocked the cup out of her hand, spilling its contents all over the floor.
Kienna shifted back to the woodcarver. “What’s your problem?”
“Get me my rum,” he whispered.
Kienna crossed her arms, looking back at Elowen. “Is that a good idea?”
Elowen snorted. “I’d say no, but he must decide that for himself. I’ve got to get going, girls. Please do stop by in a few days. I’ve got things that will help him if he decides to quit.” She left them to it.
Tislin brought more water, which he set aside in case Calder decided he wanted to lash out again. Kienna brought her knuckles to her mouth, resisting the urge to chew on her nails. She considered wearing gloves to keep them from getting worse.
The woodcarver’s breath came in shallow spurts, a rasp between exhales. He winced and closed his eyes. “Please, girl,” he said, opening his eyes again as the wildness returned to the brown irises. The whites were tinted yellow. “I’d rather drink.”
Kienna held his hands. He startled from her touch, but she could tell his body was in too much pain to fight back. He started to cry, burying his head in his knees.
Kienna turned back to Tislin. “Can a healer take this away? The constant need for drinking?”
Tislin clasped his hands in front of him. “They can ease the pain, maybe lessen the side effects, but the will to stop drinking—that must come from him.”
Would he stop drinking? He wasn’t attached enough to Kienna to bet his own life on her.
In fact, Kienna was sure he still hated her.
“Listen, old man.” She leaned forward, tugging his head forcefully.
“I know you don’t give a shit about me, but for some reason, I give a shit about you.
So, you’re going to stop drinking, and I’ll get someone to take away the effects. ”
“You’re not my boss.” He sounded like a child. Kienna almost wanted to laugh.
“Would your children want this?”
“I’ve failed my children in more ways than you can count.” Calder clutched Kienna.
Tislin stepped forward, but Kienna held her hand out to stop him. She steadied her gaze on Calder. “Pretend I’m your daughter. Look at me every day and see her face instead of mine if you must. And make the choice to stop failing her.”
Calder’s brows knitted together furiously before they subsided. He nodded, then winced again. “Fine,” he spat, and Kienna couldn’t believe her words worked. “The sooner the better, girl. I’m a weak man. And where’s my damn cat?”
Kienna sighed. “I’ll get your cat.” She winced at her next thought. She needed a skilled healer. “And I’ll talk to Connak.”
She stood, meeting Tislin’s stare, aware of what this deal required. She gave the Shadowmaster a nod, preparing herself to let her own shadows in before calling Connak’s mind to hers.