Chapter 31
—Moira—
Moira waited outside The Elarent House, looking at Tislin as he gazed at the sea.
He clasped his hands behind his back, a motion he only made when he had too much going on in his mind.
They’d barely had any time to connect since his injury, and she wished she could get him to open up about it.
She wondered if he was thinking about his brother again.
Tristian’s presence always brought them down.
Even injured, seeing them near each other was a strain.
If she had a brother, she would want to do everything in her power to keep him close.
She didn’t have a brother, though. The king stole that from her when he took her from her home and killed her family. She huffed, surprising herself with the newfound anger. “Are you ever going to tell me about Tristian?”
Tislin’s brow rose, but his face held stoically as ever. He was too good at feigning indifference, a fact that infuriated Moira. It also boiled her blood in other ways that infuriated her. She continued her intent stare until he eventually turned back to the sea.
“There’s nothing to talk about. He wants me to be more. I am content being who I am.”
“Even if the shadows almost killed you?” Moira asked, forehead tightening.
Tislin’s head bowed slightly. “Yes.”
Moira couldn’t pretend she understood the shadows or how heavy they were to carry.
Even on his best days, his eyes fell more than they smiled.
It didn’t stop her from asking why anyway.
Almost losing him made her bold. A few weeks ago, she brushed away the shadows, hoping they weren’t as serious as they truly were.
She let it be his secret, allowing him to ignore the conversation.
No more. Not when the shadows could have killed them all.
Tislin didn’t provide any further clarity. Moira scoffed. “Your shadows pushed me, Tislin.”
He winced.
“They ate at Danek’s hands. I deserve to know why you keep them.”
“I made a deal a long time ago, Sunbeam. I can’t get rid of them for as long as I want Tristian to live. Or I can give them my soul, which I wouldn’t dare do either.”
“I’d like to know more,” she pressed, pushing her hand onto his. The shadows at his feet diluted, and Moira stepped closer. “You don’t have to hide with me.”
Moira’s stomach thrashed. Now was not the time for a vision. She tried her best to stifle it, to will it away, but the kicking grew more frantic, and Moira’s mind spiraled. Time moved backward. Her grip tightened on Tislin’s to ground herself.
She was still in Dove Port, the night as black as ink.
No stars trailed the skies; the moon was blocked by darkened clouds.
It was the darkest she’d ever seen the city.
The only light came from a single house near the farms. Moira jerked her head back and forth, searching for the child to guide her and get this over with.
There was no little girl. Only shadows. But a voice echoed out into the night.
“Be careful, Mama. The Shade can reach you at any time. Trust the Shadowmaster to pull you out.”
Moira’s heart thrummed faster, but she couldn’t stop. Tislin wasn’t pulling her away, though her child said he would. It was as if he wanted her to see. Shaking, she reached for the door.
Her child’s voice echoed again. “The window. Don’t go inside.”
To her right, an open window caught her eye.
It hadn’t been there when she approached the house, but now the flickering light inside was undeniable.
It was warm at first. The closer Moira got, the more she realized the light was being stolen by the dark shadow.
She hunched under the windowsill and peered inside, trying to stay hidden.
A slithering whisper echoed as the shadow approached a tall woman with deep tan skin. “The Hollow King paid a good price to find this family,” it said.
The woman pushed two boys behind her, unmistakably Tislin and Tristian.
His mother’s death. That’s what he guided her to.
Moira’s lip quivered as she realized what she was about to see.
She wished desperately to save her, to do anything that would turn the Shade away and keep all the pain from gutting Tislin.
The thud in Moira’s womb told her to stop wishing and watch.
The Shade slipped into black smoke, suffocating their mother.
Her face contorted at the lack of oxygen.
Tristian stepped forward, power roaring through him.
He thrust both hands toward the Shade, unleashing a torrent of golden light that ripped through the air like a storm.
It struck the creature with enough force to peel shadow from bone, but the Shade recoiled, slamming the magic back in a brutal wave.
The blow sent Tristian crashing to the floor, his body limp.
While he lay unconscious, the Shade moved to finish their mother, snapping her neck without even touching her.
Moira gasped as tears flooded her eyes, and she tasted bile.
How horrid to witness this as a child. Tislin was young then, perhaps five.
He watched bravely, his fingers twitching at his side as he stared at Tristian and not his mother.
No tears escaped his eyes, but Moira had enough for both of them.
She covered her mouth when her breath came out with pitch.
The Shade coiled in the dark, a blackness staring at the window for far too long.
Moira ducked, holding her breath and tears.
The presence moved on. Moira willed herself up, her hands shaking as they gripped the windowsill again to peek inside. The Shade approached Tristian’s still body, but Tislin stepped in front of his brother, lips pursed tightly. “Take me,” he begged.
“The Hollow King has no use for you,” the Shade whispered. “We have been looking for him for years. Now that I’ve found him, I intend to deliver him. The king will kill the light. Move.”
“Let him live. I’ll do your bidding instead.”
Oh, Tislin. Moira started to cry again, chewing on her bottom lip to keep herself silent.
His distance from his brother wasn’t simply a strained relationship. Did he harbor shame in what he did? Did Tristian know? Was that why he pushed his brother harder?
“I have no use for you, child.”
“You’ll have use for me one day.”
“Let’s go, Sunbeam,” Tislin’s voice rang out, and he pulled her away. Her surroundings brightened by the day around her, and Tislin’s face filled her vision.
Moira searched him for any hint of affirmation. She didn’t need it. She saw his shadows differently. It was a valiant curse, but what did that mean for his life? How much time did he have left? He’d been stabbed by a Shade in Alverton. Was that a taste of what was to come?
Tislin lowered his head. “Since her death, Tristian took the weight of the world onto his shoulders. The weight was already there for many other reasons. Even so, he fights alone to keep everyone alive. He’s not alone, of course, but the weight consumes him.”
“And you work in the shadows to keep him alive.” Moira never heard the rest of the deal Tislin had made, but she knew it in her gut. Tislin’s deal—his soul—was traded for Tristian’s. That Shade wanted the High Commander, not Tislin.
“Yes. And Tristian works to keep Kienna and Connak alive.”
Moira tilted her head. What did Kienna and Connak have to do with any of this?
Tislin only dipped his chin further. “We are all tangled in this web. It’s why the distance between him and me is for the best. I wish not to hate him once it’s all over with. He’s a good man. With a heavy prophecy of his own.”
Moira stepped in front of Tislin and forced a smile that was heavy but genuine.
Finally, they were moving away from lore.
She loved to hear Tislin talk of rich history, but she yearned for more, and when she got it, the connection couldn’t be denied.
He trusted her with this, and even if his impending doom was an anchor pulling her into the sea, she couldn’t resist the sun in her heart.
She stared into his eyes, their swirling grey and orange adoring her back. No shadows in sight.
“I think I love you.”
Tislin’s hand brushed her chin, and she quivered. “I cannot stop thinking about you, Sunbeam. You have made me come alive, and I do not want to live in a world that does not have you in it.”
“Me either.” Her breath was shaky as she let his other hand go. He cupped her face and kissed her with a gentleness that only made sense for the quiet man of shadows. Moira stepped into him, letting his body encompass her.
Their lips together could have burned a million suns as Moira’s entire body lit up.
Everything that was wrong with the world righted itself in his presence.
He was darkness against her light that balanced perfectly.
When he pulled away, she tried to pull him back.
He smiled and caressed her bottom lip, drinking her in.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he said, cupping her face again. “I’d marry you right now, if I could.”
Moira smiled with a depth that rooted her soul. “We could—” She stopped herself, her heart crumbling at the thought, settling in the pit of her stomach with mortar holding her in place. She pulled out of his arms. “But we can’t.”
“It’s okay, Sunbeam.” Tislin attempted to step forward, but Moira held her hands up.
“It will never be okay,” Moira sobbed, panic settling in her bones. “I have not been fair to you, and I could never ask you to do this.”
Tislin shook his head. “I want to.”
“I need to go.”
Moira turned from Tislin before she could see his reaction.
She ran back to her apartment, her head spiraling out of control.
How could she have done this? How could she betray the man she’d given her heart to over a year ago like that?
Coward or not, Rhior still lived in River Storm, and she still carried his baby and wore his ring on her finger.
Despite how desperately she wanted Tislin, she was stuck, and for that, her heart shattered.