Chapter 47 #3
Connak exhaled, the breath catching on something raw in his chest. “He’s a damn good leader, but he’s terrible with the emotions of it all. He’s already accepted his place in it, so he has a hard time understanding why some of us are more reluctant. Even when he denies other truths.”
Kienna let Connak’s words sit with her. “Tristian’s place in what? What is he denying?”
He offered a perception of a grin as he studied her, the heaviness in her breath pulling his eyes toward her hand.
He took it gently, running his fingers over the fine lines of fading scars, reminders of battles that neither of them truly walked away from.
“Do you remember our night on the ship?” he asked.
Kienna pursed her lips and darted her attention between the large stumps of trees and fireflies dancing along the base of the forest. “We don’t have to do this.”
“We do. It’s time you knew. Tristian wanted to wait until you took your place as the Ashborn, but I’ll take the heat for it.
” Connak pulled Kienna’s chin toward him as she tried to look away.
How could she tell him she didn’t know how she felt?
“The bonds,” he assured her. “Tristian is bonded to your heart. Your parents wanted to make sure you had someone who would never fail to protect you through this.”
A laugh escaped Kienna’s lips, startled and brittle. “He can barely tolerate me.”
“True.” Connak shrugged. “He doesn’t want to believe in those tales either. And he was there when it happened. Maybe they tell us these things so they can play matchmaker.”
Kienna’s smile faded as she considered this.
There were strange sparks between her and Tristian when their skin touched, something so faint they could miss it if they weren’t paying attention.
She thought back to the first time his hand brushed hers, and it nearly took her breath away.
Then her mind wandered to the fact that being in his presence revolted her and seemed to do the same for him. He called her a curse.
“Do you believe it?”
Connak nodded, slowly this time. “I do. Because when Vaerin rose to power, they bonded you again. To someone who could find you if your heart failed.”
Kienna froze. “How many people do you think I’m bound to?”
“Two,” he said. “One to guard your heart; the other to guard your mind.”
She searched his face, brows dipped low. Connak held a softness to his eyes, the forest green wrapping her in a blanket of safety.
“The second bond… It’s you.”
“It’s me.”
Kienna searched her feelings, but the conflict in her remained. What did this mean for her? For them? What came with a bond? “Does this mean I’m supposed to love him? Or you?”
“No. A bond is protection. Nothing more,” he said. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope you already did, though.”
She shoved him lightly, but with less bite. “You know what I mean!”
Connak’s eyes gleamed, the life in his green specks returning to the forest. “You can love anyone, Kienna, honestly, and I wouldn’t give up on what we believe you can do. We aren’t drawn to you because of the bonds. We know how strong you truly are, and we believe in who you are.”
There was a comfortable silence between them as Kienna felt the weight of it.
“I really am sorry for all of it. I have not been the best protector for you. I’m still learning how to be…
” His eyes trailed away from her for a moment, then sneaked back.
“Selfless. There are no excuses, but River Storm taught me to think of myself first and never others. When our bond snapped, my mind… Well, I’ve been playing catch-up. ”
“These tethers complicate a lot of things.” She sighed, pressing her lips together as she thought about Danek for a moment.
They’d been growing closer until the battle of Dove Port, then all that mattered was saving the people.
Still, she was happy to have the comfort of Connak back.
She laid her head on his shoulder, taking in the life returning to him.
There were burn marks on his hands from the battle, likely ignored during healing rituals.
“We never go away,” he whispered in the breeze. “You need to know that. If you choose to love someone. We’re strings threaded into the essence of you. As you are into us.”
Kienna jerked away, but she knew he was right.
She felt his bond as clearly as she felt it with Ruva.
Despite the charm, he was always there in her mind.
The only one she couldn’t feel was Tristian.
Her eyes fell on Ruva panting calmly with her back turned.
She watched the forest floor dance with fading light.
Her other tether.
But there was another tether, one not so fierce and noble. Not two, but four presumed bonds clung to her like smoke after a wildfire. “Can you see Vaerin in there?”
“No.” He rubbed his scarred hands along Kienna’s arm. “One can never see the other, but I can feel your battle inside, and we all wish you would come home.”
Me, too, Kienna thought to herself.
Ruva looked over her shoulder, silver eyes bright and loving. She panted and whimpered out her love to Kienna, so she knew she always had her, too.