Chapter 25
Brett was awakened by Toby fussing in his carrier, and he slipped from the bed without waking Grace. The warm, naked Grace, who was a virgin no more. Memories flooded his mind, both the sensual onslaught and the emotional ride.
His eyes slid to the clock. One twenty-five a.m. He still had more than an hour before they would leave for Lamont Scientific. He unstrapped the baby and brought him to his shoulder, bouncing to soothe the boy as he worked to get a bottle and warm it at the sink.
Grace. He’d made love to Grace, and he wanted to do it again at the earliest opportunity. That alone was frightening enough, as he rarely did encore performances with anyone. In his experience, women had a tendency to get attached, and that was not something he wanted any part of.
Normally.
He frowned, settling in a chair with the baby, who quickly latched on to the bottle.
Brett let his anxiety about Grace fade as he took in the moment.
There was something magical about taking care of a baby in the night, as if you were the only person awake on earth.
Certainly, he was the only one who had the gift of this time with Toby.
The infant’s small body was warm and solid, his feet kicking the air as his hand fisted against Brett’s skin.
The flashing of a tiny light on his cell phone caught his eye, and he grabbed the device. A text from Moto showed on the home screen.
DNA confirms you’re the father. Congrats, brother.
One side of his mouth hitched up into a smile. After reading Joni’s letter, he’d had little doubt, but the confirmation was bittersweet. This was his child he held in his arms, his own flesh and blood, with another sleeping just a few feet away from Grace.
Grace.
With the four of them tucked into this room, it almost felt like they were a family, like he’d gotten a wife at the same time he’d gotten two sons.
He shook his head to erase the craziness of the thought.
She was only helping him because she was utterly convinced of his incompetence, and he’d do well to remember that.
And if they chose to have a repeat of last night, that was just a simple decision between two adults, not a relationship.
Theo started to fuss. Brett briefly wondered if he could feed both boys at the same time, but Grace awoke before he’d worked out the logistics. He watched as she wrapped a blanket around her, got the baby, and warmed up a bottle. She looked at him. “I didn’t even hear Toby wake up.”
“I was trying to let you sleep.”
“I appreciate the effort.” She settled on the bed to feed the baby.
“Moto texted,” he said. “DNA confirmed the boys are mine.”
“And how do you feel?”
He blew out air. How did he feel? It was difficult to put into words. “Scared. Happy. Relieved. Out of my goddamn mind.”
“It’s a lot to process, but you’ve got this.”
He chuckled. “Says the woman who’s only here because she didn’t trust me to take care of them on my own.”
“I would trust you now.”
The nipple fell out of Toby’s mouth, and Brett picked him up to burp him. He had come a long way in a short period of time, had become more confident in his own ability to take care of them. However, he had the distinct impression he and Grace weren’t just talking about the boys.
She’d trusted him with herself, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. The sudden need for space came upon him. “I’d like to take a bath. Think I can take Toby in there with me?”
“Don’t you want to go back to sleep?”
“My mind’s already awake.”
“As long as it’s not too hot, he should be fine.”
He stood, cradling the baby in his arms. “You hear that, buddy? Grace gave us the green light for some tub-time shenanigans.”
He shut the bathroom door and ran the water, catching his reflection in the mirror when he stood. Naked, with his son on his chest.
I am a father.
No matter how Toby and Theo had come to be, they were his children, his responsibility. Life would never be the same. And while it would take some getting used to, he was already sure of one thing—he never wanted it to be the same. He wanted Toby and Theo to be a part of it forever.
Could he do that? Be the guardian Joni and Luke had asked him to be and take care of them himself? Maybe it was fear that had him by the balls, fear that he would fail in the most important job on earth. But maybe he could be successful.
Images flashed in his mind—baseball games, birthday parties, scraped knees. Could he really be a father in the truest sense of the word? Could he put the needs of the twins above his own and give them a happy life? He would never have believed it, but the answer was yes.
He climbed in and leaned back against the tub, his knees up and the baby resting against his thighs. With careful hands, he drizzled warm water over Theo’s chubby legs and arms, earning him a series of hysterical looks from the baby, and Brett laughed.
If Joni had lived, he might never have known he was a father at all.
And while he still felt ill-equipped to deal with this reality, he already knew it was a gift.
The greatest gift, times two. “I’m glad you made it to the party.
I’ll be your host.” He smiled and picked up the bar of soap, using it to work up a lather on the little boy’s feet.
They said new parents counted fingers and toes, and it was Brett’s turn to do that now.
Toby’s entire foot fit within the area of Brett’s palm.
“Your mama was beautiful. If you look half as nice as her, you’re going to be one good-looking guy.
” A knot of emotion tightened his throat.
“I promise I’ll never stop telling them about you,” he whispered to Joni. “Or Luke.”
Again the image of Grace appeared in his mind unbidden.
“You don’t give up, do you, Joni?” He sighed heavily, then spoke to the baby.
“Your dad isn’t so smart sometimes, kiddo.
Best you learn that now. Especially where women are concerned.
That woman is completely out of my league, and I can’t stop thinking about kissing her again. ”
He had no baby shampoo, so he cupped his hands and drizzled water over Toby’s head. How dirty could a baby be, anyway? The boy broke into a goofy, toothless smile, and Brett found himself smiling right back. “Does that feel good, little buddy?”
As if in answer, Toby cooed happily and farted.
Brett laughed so hard he startled the baby, the comical look on Toby’s face only making Brett laugh harder.
There was a knock at the door. Grace called, “You two doing okay in there?”
“Oh, yeah. Just some male humor. You wouldn’t understand.”
He’d really been missing out by not having kids, and he was struck by the realization that everything was going to be all right. He didn’t know how to be a father, but he would learn, and the three of them would be okay—whether Grace was with them or not.
His smile faded at the thought. Was that what he wanted? For Grace to stay with them? What would happen when life returned to normal? Would she go back to being just his next-door neighbor? It seemed impossible, yet the alternative was equally hard to imagine.
You can keep her in your life.
It was Joni’s voice, damn her, and he sighed.
A relationship. He couldn’t believe he was considering it, even for a moment.
He wasn’t alone by accident. He’d had a wife who couldn’t understand his demons.
He’d sworn never to make that mistake again—a deliberate choice he had no intention of altering.
But he hadn’t planned on a woman like Grace being in the picture, hadn’t planned on walking away from someone who made him believe he could be a good man.
And didn’t his sons need that from him? Need him to believe in himself again?
To model that kind of strength and help foster it in them?
He pushed the thoughts away. It was too far a leap to consider, too big of an ask. A week ago, he’d been unwilling to care about anyone but himself. A woman like Grace deserved better than that. She deserved better than him.
His thought turned to the mission at hand. In less than an hour, they would infiltrate Lamont Scientific, and he and HERO Force needed to protect the twins—once and for all.