Chapter 6
Ellie was emotionally exhausted. Mac’s arrival at Shonda’s wedding had taken a joyous day and turned it on its head.
The only one who seemed blissfully unaffected was Shonda herself, who appeared not to notice the tension in the room while she danced with first Turner, then her father, but Ellie was wracked.
She didn’t know what to say to Turner, so she’d been avoiding him when possible and discussing the caterers or some other inane topic when he sought her out.
So when he pulled her aside and all but dragged her from the confines of the open-walled party tent into the darkness beyond, she couldn’t honestly say she was surprised.
He released her hand and stuffed his own into the pocket of his trousers. “How are you holding up?” he asked.
“The band is doing an excellent job of keeping up momentum on the dance floor.”
His eyes reflected the lights from inside the tent. “I meant you, not the band, Eleanor.”
He was pissed, the use of her given name a dead giveaway. But while she could see why he might feel she owed him an explanation, she didn’t feel like sharing the messy emotions that had been overwhelming her for hours now. “How do you think I’m holding up?”
“I think you’re in shock at seeing Mac again.”
“Excellent observation. Can we go back inside now?”
“I can’t help but wonder if this changes things between us.”
She closed her eyes and lowered her head. “Do we really need to discuss this right now? In the middle of everything else?”
“I think it’s worth your time, yes.”
“I don’t know, Turner, okay? I have no idea what Mac’s return means for me, or for us, or for my kids, or for anyone else.”
“He’s drinking. Did you notice? Four gin and tonics in the past hour alone.”
She’d seen the glass in his hand, with its carbonated beverage and telltale slice of lime. “You don’t know what he’s drinking.”
“The hell I don’t.” He pointed at her. “This is the man who nearly destroyed your life, who treated you like garbage, who neglected your children and would have sold you all down the river for a big enough bottle of booze.”
Her anger was swift. “Stop it. You were not there. And no matter what I shared with you—in confidence!--it does not give you the power or the right to weigh in on the decisions I make in my life.”
“Oh, no?” Temper flashed in his eyes as he leaned closer.
“Just last night, we were talking about getting married, Ellie. Married! What do you think marriage is, if not the right to weigh in on each other’s lives?
I love you, goddamn it. I loved you last night, and I loved you last week, and I loved you last year and the year before that.
Now we finally get our chance to see if things can work out between us, and you’re off in fantasy land because that drunk bastard showed up uninvited to Shonda’s wedding. ”
His admission of longstanding feelings for her was a revelation, but she recognized his attempt to control her for what it was.
“I didn’t choose this, Turner. I didn’t ask him to come here today and send the world careening off its axis.
But he did come, and the world is all messed up and crooked, and you still don’t get to decide what I do with that, even if in your opinion the timing sucks. ”
“My opinion?”
She shook her head and exhaled heavily.
“My opinion,” he repeated. “So, you don’t think the timing is unfortunate.”
Damn it all to hell.
She didn’t want to hurt this man. She didn’t know what she felt and she certainly didn’t know what she wanted to do.
“Turner, you say you’ve had feelings for me for a long time.
I never even considered what it might be like to kiss you until last night.
I’m not saying I’m not interested. I’m certainly not saying I’m going back to my husband.
But you cannot blame me for being confused. ”
In the tent, the band began to play Celebration, and a cheer erupted from the guests.
Turner was quiet so long, she feared he would explode.
Instead, he picked up her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it tenderly.
“I’ve waited a long time to love you, Ellie Hearst. I guess I’ll just have to wait a little longer. ”
He released her hand and turned back to the party, leaving her alone in the shadows. Grateful for the momentary reprieve from the stress of the evening, and the additional strain of the last few minutes, she wandered to an old maple tree and leaned back against its thick trunk.
The reception was beautiful from back here, perfect even, with the music and the laughter and the soft glow of the string lighting.
Shonda danced with Marshall’s father. When Ellie first met him, she’d been happy her daughter would have a paternal figure in her life again. Now she wondered if she’d have two.
Would Mac stay? Maybe he was just passing through. Maybe he’d thought of them and wondered how they were and decided to see for himself before moving right back into his own life. Her eyes searched for him in the sea of people, without finding his tall, familiar form.
She jumped when he spoke from several feet behind her. “Turner seems like a decent guy.”
She put her hand to her chest as she spun around. “You scared me.” Had he heard her conversation with Turner? “How long have you been out here?”
He gestured toward the tent. “Long enough to know that man’s got a long fight ahead of him if he thinks he can get my girl.”
The possessiveness in his voice sent a wave of sensual excitement through her lower abdomen, even as it straightened her spine. She forced herself to recline back against the tree as casually as she could muster, her hands tucked behind her. “I am not your girl, nor have I been in some time.”
He moved closer, standing between her and the party, the heady scent of him reaching her nose. “‘Nor have I been in some time,’” he mocked, a throaty chuckle rising from his chest. “You always could talk like somebody’s mama.”
“I am somebody’s mama. Three somebodies.”
“My children.”
With those two words, he conjured every moment in how those children were conceived.
Her knees threatened to give out, and she arched her back, her hips pressing more tightly against the tree as the bark dug into flesh of her palms. No one else could do this to her, make her crave his touch with two simple words.
She hadn’t responded this way to Turner’s kisses, though he’d obviously been quite aroused.
Devil be damned, Mac O’Brady was the only man who’d ever made her legs spread in invitation, and she fought to keep that truth from her expression.
“And now here you are, back in their lives. Tell me, do you intend to stay?”
“I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me in their lives.”
“They’re grown now, Mac. They make their own decisions.”
He reached up and trailed one finger gently down her cheek, her body arching like a bow, crying out for him to touch her more. “Then I’ll stay in your life for as long as you’ll have me.”
She knew at that moment she was in dangerous waters.
There were reasons she’d left him all those years ago, reasons that had nothing to do with his ability to arouse her sexually.
Mac had returned from his last tour with the SEALs a broken man.
He’d not only lost his lower leg, he’d lost his spirit and his belief in himself as a worthy partner.
He’d used alcohol to make it all go away, including her and the children.
She worked to pull herself out from under his spell. “We’ve tried this already, remember? It didn’t work.”
“I remember some parts of it worked just fine.” He closed the distance between them, his foot settling between hers as if it belonged there, their bodies nearly touching.
“You’re still drinking.”
He raised his head slightly, enough to be able to shake it. “I’m clean and sober.”
“Four gin and tonics, maybe more.”
He leaned back in, his voice a throaty whisper. “You always said you could smell it on my breath when I kissed you. You remember that, baby? Why don’t you see for yourself if I’m drinking?”
This was ridiculous. It had been a terrible idea to bring it up, a last ditch effort at a strong offense. Now he was all but on top of her, challenging her to kiss him. “Forget I said anything.”
He shook his head slowly. “You’ll never know for sure unless you try.”
She turned her head away, breaking their connection, her heart racing like a girl’s. What the hell was she doing? Mac O’Brady was in her past. Turner was her future. “I don’t want to kiss you.”
He laughed. “You know better than to lie to me about that. I can see it all over your face. You got that sweet high color in your cheeks, and your neck is all rosy, all the way down here.” He dragged his hand from her neck to her chest, leaving fire in his wake.
“Now, if you don’t want me to kiss you, just say the word and I’ll walk away.
But don’t go lying and say you don’t want to kiss me, ‘cause that ain’t the truth. ”
She closed her eyes, aware of his every breath, the warmth of his body seeping through her clothing to her hot skin beneath. “I hate you, Mac O’Brady.”
“I missed you so much, baby girl.”
He touched her, his fingers slipping down her face from temple to jaw, and every nerve ending in her body lit up.
The control he had over her was terrifying, his ability to conduct her emotions like he was conducting an orchestra leaving her abruptly more frightened than turned on.
She turned to meet his dark stare head-on.
“Don’t touch me.” Her voice was strong, far stronger than she felt.
His chin lifted almost imperceptibly as his hand fell to his side. “What the lady wants.”
He used to use that line in bed, when she insisted he end his torturous foreplay and make love to her that instant.
She narrowed her eyes, summoning all the pain and anguish this man had put her through.
“I want you to stay as far away from me as possible. Shonda wants you here. I will respect that. But that is not an open invitation into my life, or any of our lives beyond today. You got that? Because I’m not going to allow you to just waltz in here and pick up where you left off. ”
She leaned closer to him and pointed her finger at his chest. “You fucked up this family more deeply than you can possibly know. I will never forgive you for that, no matter what the hell you’re drinking.”
She turned and took several steps away from him before pivoting and turning back, her desire to hurt him launching the words from her mouth.
“I’m marrying Mike Turner. He’s a good man.
He was there for me when you weren’t. He was there for this family, and we’re going to make our relationship official just as soon as Shonda gets back from her honeymoon. ”
She felt his reaction like an atmospheric change, but his voice was steady when he spoke. “How long?”
She cocked her head. “What?”
He closed the distance between them, his movements predatory and slow, stopping an arm’s length in front of her. “How long do I have before you make it official? When does Shonda get back?”
“A week.”
“Seven days to make you mine.” Before she knew what he was about, he lifted her hand and brought it to his mouth for a kiss, dropping it before she thought to yank it away. His voice was deep. “I accept the challenge.”
Her body was on fire, her mind aflame with rage. “I will never allow you back into my life.” With a huff, she turned and headed back toward the party, more determined than ever to keep Mac out of her life—and away from her heart—forever.