Chapter 16
Teslyn got Ivy ready for bed, borrowing one of Wyatt’s T-shirts for the girl to use as a nightgown, and taking her dirty clothes to the washer to get clean.
She should have bought more clothing while she was at the thrift store, but securing a long-term wardrobe for her sister had been the least of her worries at the time.
Coming back from the laundry room, she saw Wyatt walking back and forth in the living room, the picture of upset and stress. “What’s wrong?”
His eyes shot to hers, intense but unseeing. “What?”
“I asked what’s wrong. You’re pacing.”
“HERO Force is inside Steele’s compound. I’ve got a bad feeling about it.”
“I’m sure everything will be fine.”
“No,” he snapped. “You can’t be sure, and neither can I.”
She jerked her head back, unaccustomed to the harshness of his tone. “I’m sorry, I just meant you might be worrying over nothing.”
He shook his head, continuing to pace. “I trust my gut. My gut says it was a bad idea for them to go in. A very bad idea.”
“How bad?” She furrowed her brow, unsure what to make of this.
He exhaled on a huff. “Could be a run-of-the-mill shit show. Little things gone wrong, escaping with a margin of safety that made you lucky to get out alive. Or…” his voice trailed off.
A shiver ran up her spine, and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Or what?”
“Or it could be worse than that.” He looked at her pointedly.
Now she was concerned. “Do you get these premonitions a lot?”
“No. It’s not like I’m psychic or anything. I’ve just got a bad feeling, and I’ve learned to listen to that. When I don’t, bad things happen.”
She hated to see him tormenting himself this way. His team was a thousand miles away, and there was nothing he could do at this point. “Try to think positive. Maybe it’s something minor, and your mind is blowing it out of proportion because you feel you should be there.”
He came to a stop, hanging his head on a sigh. “Maybe you’re right.”
She crossed to him, desperate to ease the stress he was feeling. She lifted her hands to rub his shoulders, but nerves had her dropping them before they got halfway there. She tucked her hands awkwardly in her pockets. “You should do something to take your mind off it.”
He turned to face her, looking entirely unconvinced. “Like what?”
“We could play a game.”
“No.”
“We could talk.”
“About what?”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re not making this easy on me.”
“We could neck on the couch,” he suggested.
Her cheeks heated as she gauged his expression. He wasn’t kidding, and the possibility intrigued her.
He lowered his brow. “What were you going to do when you came over here?”
“Excuse me?” she evaded.
“When you walked over here, you were going to do something. Were you not?”
She shrugged, so embarrassed she wished she could disappear with a poof like a magician’s assistant. She knew her face must be as red as an apple. “I was going to rub your back.”
He took a small step toward her, cutting the distance between them in half, and the scent of him wafted from his warm skin to her nostrils. “And why didn’t you?”
Oh, this is dangerous territory.
“I don’t know.”
He reached out, taking her jaw lightly in his hand. “I want to kiss you again. Do you want to kiss me?”
She nodded, her nerve endings tingling where he touched her, the rest of her body longing for the same attention.
He didn’t move, and she knew instinctively he was waiting for her this time. She moved closer to him, her hands resting on his chest as she leaned in and kissed him tenderly on the lips.
She wanted him to take control of their kiss as he had earlier, but he simply responded in kind, meeting her kiss with a mirrored subtle tenderness. A small noise of frustration snuck out of her throat.
He slanted his head, continuing his soft caress of her mouth with his own. “Something wrong, sweetheart?”
He knew damn well what was wrong. He was insisting she take the lead, and she needed to fight her self-consciousness to do it.
There’d been a time in her life when she could put on a sexual act like a master, tantalizing and tormenting men with her display of physical affection.
But that hadn’t been real, and acting that way now made her feel like a tramp.
He trailed kisses to her ear and whispered, “Show me what you want.”
Her back arched of its own accord, pressing her chest to his as her arms went tentatively around his neck. His arms closed around her lower back and he held her to him, his kisses meeting the wilder demands of her mouth and hands as she made herself seek what she wanted.
Excitement spread through her in a rush of heat. Her hips moved against him and he held her there, his strong hands grabbing her ass and pulling her in tightly. She exhaled on a moan of pleasure. Kissing Wyatt felt different than kissing other men. It felt better. Way better.
He bent down and grabbed her leg behind the knee, lifting it to his waist so his hardness pressed against her heat, shocking her with the intimacy of the pose.
“This is what I want,” he growled, claiming her mouth, his tongue plundering and retreating in a show of exactly what he wanted to do to her body.
It was what she wanted, too, but the words wouldn’t come.
She was lost, her face and chest hot with desire.
Her quickened pulse beat between her legs, and she pressed herself against the evidence of his desire, desperate for more.
Her remaining foot barely touched the floor, and she fought the desire to wrap that leg around his waist as well.
What would he think of her if she did? What must he already think of her, reacting this way to his advances?
He cursed softly. “I can’t get enough of you.”
His mouth returned to hers, and her concerns about propriety became a mere breeze in the face of a gale force wind.
“Lift your other leg,” he demanded.
He didn’t have to ask her twice. She put her weight on the leg he held, viselike, by his side. In one movement she coiled her other limb around his hip and settled against his erection, making him moan with pleasure.
He carried her to the couch, resting her on her back and following her down.
She was desperate for him, the feel of his cock grinding against her softness, driving her ever-higher despite their clothing.
She was mesmerized by his mouth, the passion in his kisses and her own desperate need for fulfillment.
What would he think of her if she pleaded for him to make love to her?
To take her to the bedroom and free her of these damn clothes, to settle between her legs and enter her aching warmth?
She couldn’t handle it if he lost respect for her, if that look in his eyes changed to something downright degrading in the wake of their lovemaking.
She’d experienced that feeling enough for one lifetime.
The thought had her slipping out of her sensual trance, and she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to stay in the moment with him.
No, no, no. You can do this. She took control of the kiss and shifted on top of him, a guttural moan deep in his chest telling her how much he liked it, but his excitement couldn’t stop what was happening to her.
He reached beneath her top and she sat up abruptly, clutching at the fabric.
He sat up and cradled her face in his hands, kissing her chin and murmuring reverent praise.
“Tess.” He kissed her nose. “God, you’re wonderful.
” He took her mouth in a deep, provocative kiss, but it was too late.
Her eyes remained open, her blood running cold.
He sat back and cocked his head. “What’s wrong?”
She shrugged, awkwardly extricating herself from the pretzel-like weaving of their bodies.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked. “Did something happen?”
“No.” She ran a hand through her hair and turned away from him.
“I don’t understand. what happened?”
“This isn’t going to work.” She couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye, tears threatening. She headed for the stairs like a coward, wanting to get away from him, needing a door between them with a lock, and—
“I’m sorry,” he called after her. “It’s fine that you wanted to stop, really. You just threw me for a loop, that’s all. I thought we were on the same page.”
“It’s okay.” She put her hand on the bannister, escape nearly within reach.
“Teslyn, wait. Talk to me. You’re acting spooked. Did I do something to upset you?”
She stopped and lifted her chin, still not facing him. “I don’t have to explain why I don’t want to sleep with you.”
“I just want to understand.”
At that, she turned to face him. “You don’t have to understand. I’m going to bed.”
He didn’t try to stop her this time as she left. She made her way upstairs and checked on Ivy, who was fast asleep, then went to her own room and closed the door quietly behind her. She leaned back against it and sank to the floor, her throat tight with suppressed emotion.
Why can’t I be normal?
Why couldn’t she be attracted to an incredibly sexy man and let herself enjoy his body without it triggering this reaction? Would it always be like this, the past reaching into the present to steal things away like an overdue payment for past mistakes?
She rubbed her hands over her eyes. He’d never understand the things she’d done to survive, never forgive her or look at her the same way.
She’d had sex for money, more than once.
Not because she’d wanted to, but because she was desperate.
She needed to eat. Every time she thought she’d made peace with that fact, it reared up to torture her once more.
Her nose ran and she swiped at it.
She didn’t know how long she sat there, tears running down her face. She was falling for him. That was the problem. She was falling for Wyatt, and he was hoping to get laid—two very different agendas with two very different outcomes.
Getting up, she moved to her suitcase to the bed and took out clean clothes, then opened her door slightly to be sure he wasn’t around before crossing to the hallway bathroom.
Turning on the shower, she stripped off her clothes and climbed in, letting the spray cascade over her head and face.
A man like Wyatt could never love a woman like her.
A good, strong man who treated her with respect, who made her feel safe and more beautiful than she could ever remember feeling in her life.
You could take the girl out of the trailer park, but you couldn’t take the trailer park out of the girl.
She grabbed the soap and worked up a lather with punishing strokes. For once in her life—just once—she wished she could make love without feeling dirty and unworthy of love. But that clearly wasn’t going to be tonight, which meant it wasn’t likely to be with Wyatt Sorenson, at all.