Chapter 19
Wyatt couldn’t bear the depth of self-hatred that filled him. Teslyn’s question hung in the air like a bomb over a target, just waiting to explode, and he didn’t know if he should run for cover or open his arms to the sky.
Death would be the easy way out.
Going through this, living with what he’d done, that was the explosion—and the bomb had landed on Ralph’s wife, too.
A part of him wished he could hide in the shelter of Teslyn’s arms forever, where pain ceased to exist and he felt like the only person who mattered to her in the entire world.
She probably made every man she’s been with feel the same way.
He scowled at the unwelcome thought of her past. Damn the fool who’d carelessly failed to seal her record. He didn’t want to think about what he knew, didn’t want it to color his perception of what had just transpired between them. Teslyn deserved better than that. Far better.
But what they’d just shared had been unlike anything he’d experienced in bed before, the depth of emotion he’d given and received, the electric chemistry between them. He had to believe it was special, as the possibility that it was not pricked his mind like sharpened quills.
He focused his attention on Ralph instead, determined to answer her question.
“He had a terrible sense of humor.” Of all the things he knew about the other man, this was what he said?
He squeezed his eyes shut and let the memories come.
“He’d tell the same stupid jokes over and over again.
Got to the point where we’d call any bad joke a Ralphie. ”
Teslyn said nothing, and he wondered what she was thinking. Was she touched by what they just did? She had a way of being worldly and innocent at the same time, the combination at once drawing him in and clobbering him with staggering need.
And he wanted her.
God, how he wanted her.
He lifted his arm, gesturing for her to join him, and she moved so her head was against his chest, the body that had given him so much pleasure now curled against his side.
He kissed her head and let his mind return to Ralph, the pain of his loss like a sudden dagger in his side.
“He was one of the smartest guys I ever met. He knew everything about history, every battle, every ruler, every treaty ever signed. He could do the Saturday New York Times crossword puzzle in under an hour.”
“Is Saturday hard?”
His fingers slipped over her shoulder, her soft skin cooling beneath his touch.
“The hardest.” The intimacy he was sharing with Teslyn made him think of Jessa.
Surely Ralph and his wife shared moments just like these, and the devastation Ralph’s death would surely wreak on Jessa’s life could have brought Wyatt to his knees.
When he trusted himself to speak, he said, “You should’ve seen him with his wife. They were one of those couples who made everyone jealous. They had that kind of love.” The past tense stung, his eyes burning with emotion. “They’re expecting a baby.”
“Oh, God.”
He released her. He didn’t deserve comfort when so much had been lost. “Ralph was so excited to be a dad. Now he’s gone, and she’s going to have to raise that kid alone.
” He shook his head, anger with himself articulating his movements.
He sat up. The urge to lash out bore down on him, and he flung the covers back, getting out of bed.
He needed to get out of here.
He needed space.
Teslyn sat up, holding the bedsheet against her nakedness. “It’s not your fault.”
He furrowed his brow. “Of course it’s my fault. Ralph wasn’t even supposed to go on that mission. It should have been me.”
“Then it’s my fault.”
“I didn’t say that.” He grabbed his briefs and shorts, pulling them on.
“You were just doing a favor for a friend, because you’re a decent human being.”
He pulled a shirt over his head. “Look, I know what you’re trying to do.
But it’s not going to work, okay? I chose to help you.
I chose for Ralph to go in my place. I’m the one who put him in harm’s way.
I’m the reason he’s dead. I’m the reason his wife is somewhere crying her eyes out right this very second. ”
“You’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
He was itching to get out of here, itching to get away from her and the simple forgiveness she had no authority to give. “I’m taking responsibility for what I’ve done.”
“You need to feel whatever you feel.”
“That’s right.”
“I just hope you won’t hang on to that guilt too long. Each of us makes choices every day that could lead to disaster. We never know what’s going to happen. If you’d known Ralph was going to be killed, you never would have sent him in your place. I know that. Everyone will know that.”
He huffed. “It’s not that simple.”
“I know you can’t see it that way right now.”
The urge to lash out pulled at him, the anger he’d turned inward now spilling onto Teslyn. “Tell me you don’t blame yourself for Ivy growing up in that trailer.”
Her head jerked back. “Excuse me?”
“Tell me you don’t feel just a little bit responsible. If you hadn’t cut your mother out of your life, you’d at least have known your sister existed. You might have had some clue she was living your childhood all over again. Maybe you could have intervened.”
Her face fell. She turned away, wrapping the sheet around her as she got up and headed for the door, her chin in the air as she tried to sidestep him.
“Damn it,” he ground out under his breath. His words had hit their mark, just as he knew they would. Teslyn was no more responsible for Ivy’s upbringing than he was. He blocked her path. “Wait. Tess, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that—”
She wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Get out of my way.”
“Please. I’m struggling. I’m drowning over here, and I took it out on you. Forgive me.”
She glared at him. “Get the fuck out of my way.”
He lifted his palms toward her and stepped aside. “I’m sorry.”
The door closed softly behind her, but he knew it was only in deference to her sleeping sister that she didn’t slam it with all her might.
His mouth turned down hard at the corners.
He would have thought it was impossible for him to hate himself any more than he already did, but he would have been wrong.
He’d just lashed out at the one person in the world who’d tried to make things better for him, who’d listened and worked to understand what he was going through.
Who’d shared her body, offering herself freely and making love to him at a moment when he’d so desperately needed to feel alive.
The one person in the world he was beginning to care for way more than he ever intended.
And I did my damndest to hurt her in return.
He went downstairs, feeling his way down the darkened steps from memory and heading for his office, fully intending to pour himself a glass of scotch.
A beeping from the kitchen caught his attention, and he went there instead.
His cell phone sat on the counter where he’d left it, a black and white video feed rolling on his home screen.
Something had activated the motion cameras around his property.
Adrenaline shot into his bloodstream.
Probably just a deer.
He picked up the device, fully expecting it to be nothing. Instead, three different camera feeds rotated on the screen, clearly showing police setting up a perimeter on his property.
Immediately he was in motion, racing to wake Teslyn and Ivy as his mind considered what to do next.
The camera by the water had yet to be activated, though Georgia State Patrol was surely headed there next, and he hoped the three of them would be able to slip through the weak spot before it was fortified. He snapped a leash onto Jett’s collar.
This was asinine, he thought, craziness at the height of its form, and he wondered if he was doing the right thing as he raced to a small boathouse with the dog, the sisters on his heels.
Troopers meant business. They were bound to be heavily armed.
If they caught Wyatt and the girls trying to leave, their only choice would be surrender.
He lifted a small rowboat and silently put it in the water, gesturing for Teslyn to get in quickly.
She climbed in, his arm steadying the vessel as she settled on the seat. “Where are we going?” she whispered, holding her arms out for Ivy, who scrambled in beside her.
He lifted Jett into the boat, then gave it a small push and climbed in himself, not caring that his pant legs got wet.
The four of them barely fit, but beggars couldn’t be choosers at this point.
The boat had a small engine, but he didn’t dare use it for fear of alerting the police to their escape, and he pulled out a wooden oar, beginning to row.
“There’s a park across the lake. I can have a friend pick us up there. ”
“I don’t know how to swim,” she said.
“Put a lifejacket on. Ivy, too.”
Cowboy was holding down the fort as Jax was in Colorado, which meant he’d be close by and able to lend a hand. Of course, that would also make his friend complicit in the felony Wyatt was committing, and he racked his brain to come up with a different way to get them out of here safely.
Damn it all to hell.
How had the police found them?
“Did anyone see either of you while I was gone?”
“No,” they said in unison.
“Someone had to see something. They knew you were at my house. How else could they have known that?”
Teslyn turned to Ivy. “Did you see anyone on your walk with Jett this morning?”
Ivy shot wide eyes to Wyatt, then back to her sister. “I stayed away from the road like you said.”
“We’re not mad at you, sweetie,” said Wyatt. “But did someone see you?”
Ivy’s voice was quiet. “Jett pulled me to her house. He wanted to go.”
Wyatt’s eyes squeezed shut. He knew before he asked the next question. “Was it the lady who lives through the trees? Molly?”
“She was nice. She gave me cookies.”
Teslyn sighed heavily. “She must have seen Dateline tonight.”
“Dateline?” hissed Wyatt. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Does it matter at this point?” she hissed back. “It’s not like they knew you’re involved.”
He pushed the water behind them, propelling the little boat into the inky darkness of night. “Yeah well, they know now.”
“I’m sorry, Wyatt,” said Ivy.
She sounded so contrite, he couldn’t blame her for this. “It’s okay, sweetie. You didn’t know. Besides, Jett loves her house. I should have warned you he’d try to take you there.”
The beam of a searchlight hit them from behind. “They found us,” said Teslyn.
Wyatt cursed under his breath and paddled harder, as he considered whether or not to use the engine.
They were halfway across the small lake, the lights on either side of the park plainly in sight.
If the troopers could see them, the engine wouldn’t matter.
But it was hazy out, and he wasn’t convinced the light allowed them to truly see his small boat. “Maybe,” he said. “Maybe not.”
He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and handed it to Teslyn, telling her the code to unlock it. “Call Cowboy. He’s in my favorites. Tell him I need him to meet me around the back of Casa Larga ASAP.”
She did as he asked and hung up. “He said he’ll be there in ten.”
Wyatt’s arm muscles burned with the effort he was putting into rowing as quickly as he could. The sound of a boat engine starting up carried across the surface of the water. “Goddamn it,” he ground out, pulling in his oar and climbing past the sisters to start his own engine.
“Maybe they didn't see us and they’re not coming after us,” Teslyn offered. “Maybe they’re just patrolling the lake.”
He started the engine. “We can hope,” he said over the thrumming noise.
Fighting back against the good guys wasn’t an option.
Their only real hope lay in outrunning the police.
“Hang on.” He throttled up quickly, moving as fast as the little boat could go across the glass-like surface of the lake.
Nearly any boat would be faster, and he imagined the state troopers were hot on his trail as he traversed the water.
He aimed for the dead-center of the unlit park, counting on the darkness to hide them as he ran aground on the beach.
The restaurant where he said he’d meet Cowboy bordered the park itself, but that area was a solid quarter-mile from where they were now, and he feared Ivy wouldn’t be able to keep up if they ran.
“Climb on my back,” he told her, turning to Teslyn as Ivy settled against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Take Jett. Can you run?”
A spotlight flashed at them from somewhere in the lake. “Yes.”
“Hurry.” He took off at a jog, pacing himself to be sure he didn’t go too fast for Teslyn.
He could see Jett pulling her faster, the pup used to Wyatt’s early-morning sprints.
The sound of an engine grew close to the shore.
The treeline separating the park from a small commercial area was in sight. “Can you go faster?” he asked.
“Yes.” She took the lead and he stayed on her heels, barking directions as they wove through the trees and emerged on the other side.
The sign for Casa Larga was dark, and he jogged past Teslyn to a fenced-in garbage container around back, holding the gate open for her and the dog to enter before shutting it behind them.