Chapter 10
While Olivia bathed, Hawk took inventory of the house.
The snowshoes on the wall seemed to be real and functional.
There were cross-country skis, boots, and poles in the bedroom closet.
An assortment of household chemicals and alcohol that could be used to make Molotov cocktails, as well as some basic explosive components in the garage.
There was also a snowmobile that ran, but it had so little gas it barely registered.
He came inside and sat on the bed, staring at the small pile of clothes in the corner and wondering if he’d made a mistake.
Olivia had asked where her clothes were, and that was a perfect time to give them to her, bride T-shirt and all, but he didn’t want to do it, which reminded him of the diamond he had in his pants pocket.
He pulled it out and stuck it on the tip of his index finger. It was too showy, too elaborate for the straightforward woman in the bathtub. He’d gotten her hot water, averting his eyes when he pulled back the curtain to add it to her bath.
It was an oddly intimate act.
Maybe it was because she looked so young, and he was feeling very protective of her after what they’d been through together, but he didn’t want her to find out she was engaged before she could even remember where she lived.
Or at least that’s what he was telling himself.
Something about her had snagged his interest. She was assessing him, considering whether or not he was worthy of her trust. He was a Navy SEAL, for God’s sake, a member of the elite HERO Force. That made him one of the good guys, no matter how black his soul felt under her questioning stare.
Maybe if I hold on to her tightly, she can make me good again.
Where the hell had that thought come from?
She’s engaged to someone else, and you have no business even thinking about this shit right now. You need to get to Steele.
Every step in Trevor’s carefully laid plan had crashed to the ground when his car ran into hers.
He’d been prepared for any eventuality — or so he thought — well stocked with weapons, ammunition, explosives, and all the tools he’d need to get in and out of Steele’s compound without being caught.
Now all he had taken for granted hung in the balance.
He couldn’t let the accident ruin his carefully laid plans.
He pressed his thumb onto the prongs holding the diamond, surprised to find them sharp like thorns. That thing was more than jewelry. It was a weapon, for chrissake. He couldn’t help but wonder about the man who picked it out.
She could be marrying a serial killer. It’s none of your business.
The song on the radio ended and the newscaster came on.
“We’re in for it tonight, folks. Snow will be completely changing over to freezing rain by morning, continuing for the next twenty-four hours before changing back to snow.
The state’s structural engineers have voiced some concerns about Warsaw Bridge’s ability to handle the excess weight of an ice storm, and the bridge is closed to traffic through Thursday.
The bridge is scheduled to be demolished and replaced in early spring. ”
Olivia’s voice came from behind him. “The weather doesn’t sound good. Do you think they’ll get the roads cleared before all hell breaks loose?”
“No way.” Hawk folded the ring in the palm of his hand and stood, turning to face her.
She wore the plaid pajama pants and a too-big T-shirt he’d brought her, her hair wet and her nipples standing out against the fabric. He forced his eyes to stay focused on hers. “Did you have a good bath?”
She frowned. “Not really. I couldn’t stop trying to picture my own life, where I live — stuff like that — but no matter how hard I tried, there was nothing there.”
He touched her arm, an electric tingle shooting up his hand, but this time she didn’t pull away. “It will come. Give it time.”
“Not like we’re going anywhere soon.” She brushed by him, the scents of woman, soap, and shampoo crowding him in the small space, and he closed his eyes. He could get lost in that smell if he allowed himself.
“And I wouldn’t know where to go, either,” she said. “Where do you go when you don’t know who you are or where you belong?”
He didn’t have amnesia. He knew where he had to go. He was stuck on this mountain and so was Steele.
So go and get him. Do what you came here to do.
His mind began to race. He needed a coat, some kind of weapon, and a way up the mountain. From the contents of the dresser, he knew there were clothes from a man similar in size to him.
“Trevor, thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” she said, snapping his attention back to the present.
“You don’t think I drugged you anymore?”
“No, but I do want to see my car.”
He imagined it at the bottom of a ravine, its charred steel frame like a skeleton in the snow. “It’s too far away.”
“It can’t be that far if we walked here.”
“You didn’t walk. I carried you.” She met his eyes and he shrugged one shoulder. “You were unconscious.”
She frowned. “But how far…”
“About a mile.”
“You carried me for a mile?”
“Maybe more.”
She blew out air. “I find that hard to believe. No offense.”
“None taken.”
She frowned. “I really want to see my car.”
“You can’t. At least two feet of snow has fallen since then, and with that kind of hike, you’d be putting yourself in danger. Your concussion makes it dangerous for you to push yourself too far.”
“Trevor, I just want to see that you’re telling the truth, that I got here because of a car accident.”
“You got here because of a car accident. You’re just going to have to trust me.”
“And if I don’t like that answer?”
“I guess that’s just too bad, Olivia.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, I need to go out and find some gasoline.”
“What? Where?”
“There’s a snowmobile in the garage, but no gas. I’m going to go look for some.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “You think there’s a gas station on the corner?”
“I’ll find another vehicle. A lawn mower. Anything.”
“The snow will be up to your waist.”
“Not quite.” He gestured to the wall above the fireplace. “But those are real snowshoes, so it doesn’t matter.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“I’ll make sure you have plenty of wood for the fire before I go. There’s enough food here for several weeks, if not longer.”
“Whoa, wait. You’re just going to leave me here?”
“I have to. I have things I need to do, and you seem like you’re feeling better.”
“But apparently, you’ve lost your freaking mind.
We’re stranded in the middle of a blizzard on an all-but-deserted mountaintop, and you’re going to use the snowshoes from the living room wall — which were probably made in China and sold in some home decor store, by the way — to go hiking by yourself in search of gasoline? ”
He narrowed his eyes. “‘All-but-deserted mountaintop? How do you know where we are?” He walked toward her.
“I don’t. That’s the point. You can’t leave me here all by myself.” She touched his arm. “Please.”
He took in her sweet, smooth complexion and her damp, curling hair.
Not as young as he thought, just unusually beautiful.
His gaze slipped lower, trailing along the neckline of the T-shirt, and watched the quickening rise and fall of her chest. His hands ached to touch her skin, to see if she was as soft as she looked.
And that smell. The smell of her was so strong here, rising up from her neck with the warmth of her body.
Olivia’s eyes were wide, and he stared into them, mesmerized as they dilated.
He clenched his fists to keep from reaching for her, his chest and his hips and his face all sensitized for her touch, waiting.
A rosy flush settled across her chest and neck, spreading to her cheeks, an answering excitement brewing in his belly.
Her stare dropped to his mouth, almost begging him to kiss her.
She licked her lips. “Please, Trevor.”
She wasn’t talking about him leaving.
Just one kiss.
It was a bad idea. The worst idea he’d ever had, and even as he acted on it, he knew it was the wrong thing to do.
This woman was engaged to someone else and didn’t remember.
He pulled back just before their lips connected, sanity stepping in at the last moment, but she reached up and pulled him back down.
Her lips were full and soft and open beneath his, an invitation for more that he couldn’t resist. His tongue moved into her mouth and she pressed herself against his length, her breathy sound of pleasure mixing with his own.
Her fingers were in his hair, her nails lightly scratching his scalp, and the sensation was amazing. Trevor rested his forehead on hers, his breath coming quickly.
“Don’t leave me alone,” she whispered.
He wanted to stay with her. That was the problem. Was he so easily sidetracked from the mission he’d dedicated himself to? He dropped his hands. “Olivia…”
“I’m scared.” She crossed her arms again. “I won’t apologize for that.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of. You’ll have food, clothing, and shelter for as long as you need it.”
She met his eyes and he could see she was about to cry. “You’re the only person I know in the whole world. If you leave…”
I won’t have anyone.
Guilt reached up and pulled him down.
“Forget it,” she said, waving her hands as she moved away. “You’re right. I don’t need you. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.”
The war between his two responsibilities wrestled in his stomach like a rotten meal.
It wasn’t just her physical well-being he needed to account for, it was her mental health, as well.
He had to admit, the idea of being so completely alone as she would be without him here was a frightening prospect indeed.
Damn it all to hell.
“Fine. Just give me a few hours. Let me find fuel.”
She looked worried, and he could feel his plans slipping out of reach. He needed more than a few hours. He needed to be gone for as long as it took. “Maybe more.”
She was trying to pretend she was okay with that, he could see it in her eyes and the way she shrugged one shoulder. “Fine.”
His conscience nagged at him. He moved to the fire, stoking the embers and turning the logs. It was his fault she’d been hurt and was stranded in the woods without her car or cell phone, but damned if he would give up the first chance he’d had to get Steele since Ralph’s death.
Trevor clenched his jaw, his eyes shooting to the window and the raging storm beyond. He’d planned months for this mission, practiced how to accomplish his goal alone. Now he was being sidetracked, and much as he knew he was being an asshole, he resented the diversion.
If he was going to get Steele, he had to do it before the weather cleared and the evidence drove right out from under his nose.
Eleven goddamn miles away, and it might as well be the other side of the world.
He flexed his shoulder and cracked his neck, enough adrenaline coursing through his system to run to Steele’s house and back in record time.
Run? On this knee? Who the fuck are you kidding?
From the location of the pain, he felt certain he’d either broken his patella or pulled a tendon, neither one of which was any good for running anywhere.
Just walking on snowshoes in search of gasoline was going to hurt like hell and take ten times the energy it normally would have, but the end result was too important for him to forsake it.
Trevor needed that snowmobile to get to Steele’s compound.
But Olivia’s well-being outweighed all that.
Damn it all to hell.
“Maybe I won’t look for gas today. Maybe I’ll just run up the road to the accident scene and see if I can find my jacket.”
Or a gun.
Or any kind of weapon.
She met his eyes. “Thanks, Trevor.”
The melodious sound of his name on her lips made his hand twitch, and he reminded himself she was spoken for.
Tell her. Tell her now.
She had a right to know everything he knew about her, at the very least. He opened his mouth, the bride shirt and engagement ring hanging on the tip of his tongue.
But she was fragile. Unsteady. She needed time to get back on her feet before he told her about those things.
You’re just afraid it will bring her whole memory back.
She cocked her head. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah. Everything’s fine. I shouldn’t be gone too long.”