Chapter 13
The only way to make sure Noah didn’t miss anything was to go through the entire file drawer.
Lucky for him, his sister had been organized to a fault.
Everything was clearly labeled, every folder containing exactly what it should.
There were appliance warranties she wouldn’t need and vacation brochures for trips she’d never take.
It was fucking horrible.
There was a file labeled mementos filled with photographs and ticket stubs and he knew he couldn’t look at them right now, so he pulled it out and placed it on the desk for another time—a time when he could wallow in it for a while.
Bills. Insurance. Copies of medical claims. The usual crap everyone kept in file cabinets, but no smoking gun.
He went through the desk drawers and, when that proved fruitless as well, moved on to her dresser and nightstand.
The condoms beside the bed gave him pause, though of course they shouldn’t have.
Lizzie was only a child in his mind, not in reality.
He couldn’t help but wonder who she’d been seeing. She’d never confided in him about a boyfriend, recently or ever. He always assumed she kept that stuff to herself, and that was just fine with him.
That’s when he found the diary tucked into the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed.
He put it on top of the Mementos file while he finished his search, but almost an hour later, he’d found nothing else of significance.
He grabbed the diary and file and made his way back out to the living area.
Hannah was leaning over the microscope intently, her pose reminding him she was a doctor—a professional woman with a quick mind—and it struck him he normally didn’t date women like her.
He stuck to the ones with low-cut blouses and names that ended in i.
Maybe he should change that, because Hannah’s brain was damn near as sexy as her body.
Or maybe it’s just Hannah you like.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“I’m not sure.” She leaned back. “Nothing’s making sense. There are crystals on the kidneys and lungs, as well as parts of the cardiac tissue itself.”
“What does that mean?”
“If he were being treated for unusual potassium levels or a chemically induced arrhythmia, those findings would be perfectly normal. But he wasn’t.”
“So what else can cause that?”
“I don’t know. I need to do some research. How did you make out?”
“I found her diary. I have to read it. And some pictures and other things she saved.”
She got a faraway look in her eye. “I remember when Joe died, the hardest things for me to go through were the stupid little bits of his life that never mattered. A Post-it note where he’d scribbled ‘buy lightbulbs.’ That sort of thing.
I was finding them for months. It seemed like he’d just stepped into the other room and he’d be back again in a minute, which of course he never was, and it would hurt all over again. ”
“I came here to Hilton Head so maybe I could feel something.” He hadn’t intended to tell her what was in his heart, but it was just there, the obvious response to her confiding in him.
“Since Lizzie died, I haven’t been able to do that.
I’ve just kept it all inside like I was waiting to find out it had all been a terrible mistake and she was really okay.
I fucked up my job, alienated my boss. And you’ve got to understand, the job is everything to me. ”
“I’m sorry.”
He didn’t know why he was telling her these things, but he couldn’t seem to stop. “I got here yesterday and all I wanted to do was get drunk. I was headed to that bodega looking for beer so I could get smashed and scream at God for taking my sister.”
She stood and moved to him, opening her arms. He was holding himself rigid, as if he were a physical dam keeping his feelings at bay. He tried to warn her with his eyes not to come too close, that he might break and everything would come crashing to the ground.
He lifted his chin. “Don’t.”
“But I—”
“Don’t.” He moved into the kitchen, silently cursing himself for his weakness.
He didn’t know if he was afraid he was going to cry or afraid he would kiss the living sense out of her, either one of which was reason enough to back the fuck away.
He opened a cabinet and stared into it, unseeing.
“I’ll make us something to eat,” he called.
“I’m not hungry.” She walked past the kitchen and into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.