Chapter 4
The hotel Trevor picked was nearly an hour away, but despite her fatigue, Olivia was grateful for the distance.
The farther away she was from the studio, the happier she was able to be.
The car ride gave her time to think about this man and her feelings for him, and she was surprised to realize she was nervous.
She’d only been gone a month and a half, but it was as if they were starting over.
The first part of their relationship began at the cabin they’d shared in the woods, moving smoothly from there to their apartment; the second was only beginning now.
They hadn’t been apart until this hiatus, had never learned to love each other again after a separation.
I’m being ridiculous.
Making mountains out of molehills.
So what if she was nervous? It didn’t change anything about her relationship with this man. She was simply out of practice and was certain sex with Trevor would be as natural as it had ever been. But when she stepped into the hotel room, her heart was lodged firmly in her throat.
She thought back to the mountain cabin where they’d met, her longing as she’d leaned on one side of the bedroom door, he on the other. She’d wanted him so badly she could hardly stand it.
The hotel room door closed behind him and she jumped.
Definitely not melting with need.
“Are you okay?” he asked, dropping their bags and moving behind her, his arms encircling her like a bear in a trap. She shimmied her shoulders and stepped forward. “Just jumpy, I guess.” She faced him with a weak grin.
“It’s me, you know. You don’t have to be afraid around me.”
“I know.” To her horror, she wanted to cry. She forced the tears to stay in her eyes and lifted her chin. “It’s been hard, Trevor.” Her voice cracked on his name. “Really hard. I’ve been scared.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone.” He stepped closer and put his arms around her.
This time she forced herself to relax and imagined he was a warm, safe coat that would protect her from the storm. The smell of his skin was familiar and sharp, and she leaned into him. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You’ve been through a lot. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
She nodded against his chest, imagining how different things would have been if he’d been here these last weeks. She wouldn’t have had to be afraid, wouldn’t have needed to shore herself up like a sinking dock.
Wouldn’t have had to be strong.
Her inner voice mocked her. It was this damn character, the marquess.
The script that showed her growing into a woman who could take care of herself, the action she was performing in such sharp contrast to Olivia’s own reality.
She’d been weak—she could see that now. The damsel in distress waiting for someone to save her.
And what better mate for the damsel than the SEAL?
Shut up, Olivia.
Hawk squeezed her against him, his erection pressing into her belly. She wanted to be free of these voices, these new expectations she had for herself. He was here. He’d finally come to help her. She no longer needed to be strong.
Her eyes popped open.
There was no going back.
Once she’d seen herself for the waif she was, she couldn’t take away that knowledge, the desire to improve. She was on her own journey of self-discovery whether she wanted it or not.
“We don’t have to make love if you don’t want to,” he said.
She looked up at him. “I want to. Just go slow, okay? It’s been a long time.”
His eyes darkened and she saw the depth of his desire. Her hands skated up his arms until she linked them behind his head. He leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss.
She couldn’t remember a time when he’d been so sweet. She kissed him back tentatively, expecting him to pick up the pace when he saw she was willing, but he did not.
She fitted her body more tightly against his. This time he kissed her, but he kissed her like they could be making out all night, not just a means to an end, and the first pulse of desire beat between her legs.
She opened her mouth, exploring, tasting him, pleased when she made him groan. She’d missed this—the connection with him, the fire in her breast. He took her head in his hands, but even though he held her captive, she was still very much in charge of their kisses.
Her cheeks gradually flooded with heat. “I love feeling how hard you are against me,” she whispered. “Sometimes I would imagine you were with me when I fell asleep and we were making love, but nothing compares to this.”
He cursed under his breath.
She let her hands trail up his back beneath his shirt, feeling the bunched muscles he would use to move inside her. The thought had her purring like a cat, her body undulating against his as he tasted her mouth with his tongue.
How many times had she imagined this? Had she wanted him in her bed, his body warm against hers? In the daytime she longed for his company and protection, but in the night she wanted his body to bring hers to life.
They kept kissing.
She was hot, overheating, and she took off her shirt in one fluid motion, his hands instantly coming to her breasts. She remembered the myriad times he’d touched her, orchestrating her response from her hardened nipples with his mouth and hands, and she longed for him to do it again.
She met his eyes, reaching inside the cups of her bra and lifting her breasts out of them. He moved down her body, capturing a nipple in his mouth and caressing it with his tongue before taking it inside. She gasped at the sensation, her knees buckling, and he held her up.
Now he was moving, reacting to her, no longer waiting for her to take the lead. He unfastened her pants, pushing them down her legs with her underwear, leaving her with only the bra beneath her breasts, forcing them upward.
She fumbled with the button on his jeans until he moved her hands out of the way, anxious to free himself, his cock hard and thick in her eager hands.
“Livy,” he whispered, picking her up, and her legs came around his torso before he turned around and pressed her firmly against the wall.
She wanted him to take her like this, and she arched her hips forward. “Please,” she begged.
He found her entrance, filling her completely in one hard thrust. The wall was unforgiving as she took his full length, sensation exploding outward from her center and covering her limbs.
This is what I needed.
Her body remembered this. He felt glorious inside her as he filled her and retreated, his breathing heavy, groans of pleasure in her ear as he pumped into her sensitive center.
Her legs were suspended in the air, Trevor gripping her beneath her knees to hold her against the wall, the force of his thrusts and his obvious need for her driving her frenzied response.
She closed her eyes, pinpoints of light rushing past as she climbed higher, Trevor’s sounds changing as her muscles clenched tightly around him.
She couldn’t escape his thrusting, couldn’t pull back, and the feelings overwhelmed her.
His thrusts came faster, harder, prolonging her orgasm longer than she could believe until he joined her at the pinnacle, his muscles straining as he came.
Her breathing came fast in the darkness. Trevor retreated several inches and pushed into her again, the movement on her overly sensitized body making her cry out.
This was as close as two people could become. No one had ever let their soul mingle with someone else’s the way she did with him—she was certain of it now—and she would never let him get so far away from her as to forget it in the future.
He moved his head, resting forehead to forehead, his breath matching hers. They were one person, finally reunited and whole. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you, too, baby.”