Chapter 29 #2
I accepted it with gratitude and took a long sip, the cold liquid cutting through the pleasant heaviness of pot roast and mashed potatoes. “So on a scale of excited to piss yourself terrified, where are you sitting on the whole twins thing?”
“Changes by the hour.” He took a pull from his own beer, eyes tracking the chaos in the living room where Oakleigh had Dean pinned down behind the entertainment center. “Sometimes minute to minute, if I’m being honest.”
“Y’all started on the nursery yet?”
“We’re still debating themes. She isn’t sold on Marvel superheroes, which I feel is a gross miscarriage of justice.
” The corner of his mouth twitched. “And anyway, now we’ve gotta go back to the drawing board to account for two of everything.
Two cribs, two changing tables, two of every damned thing. ”
“Fletcher and Everly will have ideas on that front.”
“Everly will try to turn it into a special for Romance Your Renovation.” Bodie shook his head, but there was affection in the gesture.
“I have no desire to get dragged onto the show as some kind of fumbling dad-to-be storyline, thanks very much. But Fletch has already been working on designs for the cribs. Showed me some sketches last week—hand-carved headboards that can be converted to big kid beds down the line—the whole nine yards.”
“He’ll do a good job. Kid’s got a gift.”
“Damned straight.” Because he couldn’t seem to stop himself, Bodie glanced into the dining room where Emmaline sat in conversation with Elena, one hand gently rubbing the growing swell of her belly. The look on his face was so tender it made my chest ache. “This making you think about another?”
“Me?”
My brother’s gaze came back to me, assessing in that way he had that saw too much and filed it all away for later consideration.
“Yeah. Last time we talked about it, you said you wanted more kids with the right woman.” He glanced toward where Swayze was belly crawling behind an armchair, trying to sneak up on Alia who was taking cover behind the bookshelf. “Is she it?”
I could’ve put him off with some noncommittal answer.
Changed the subject or made a joke. But this was my big brother, the person I’d shared everything with since before we could walk.
I could talk to him about anything, and he’d never once judged me for it.
“Oakleigh adores her. Genuinely adores her—not just tolerates her because she’s dating her dad.
Lisa and Faith like her. She clearly fits in with our family, with all the chaos and noise and ridiculous Sunday dinners.
But I’m trying not to get ahead of things.
Trying not to rush something that needs time to develop naturally. ”
“When you look ahead five years, ten, twenty—is she there when you think about it?” Bodie asked quietly. “When you imagine yourself at forty, fifty, retired from the firehouse—can you see her there with you?”
It took no effort at all to see it. No struggle to conjure the image.
A future with Swayze at every turn—morning coffee and shared looks over the dinner table, her hand in mine at more of these family gatherings, maybe a couple more kids running around with Oakleigh’s energy and Swayze’s creativity.
“Yeah. She’s there.”
Bodie’s eyes narrowed slightly, reading something in my expression or tone that I hadn’t meant to reveal. “Why do I hear reluctance in there?”
I lowered my voice even further, glancing around to make sure no one else was within earshot. Uncle Dee and Dad were deep in conversation about football near the fireplace, and everyone else was consumed by the Nerf war. “I’m worried she’s hiding something.”
I watched his cop face slide into place—the subtle shift in posture, the way his features went neutral and assessing. It was like watching a door close. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. It’s just a sense I’ve got.
” I took another sip of beer, gathering my thoughts.
“She doesn’t ever talk much about before she came here.
About her life, her career, what drove her to Gibson Hollow of all places.
And when she first showed up, I had this general sense she was running from something.
Some situation or person, or just a life that wasn’t working anymore.
But she’s never said what, and when I’ve hinted around about it, tried to give her openings to share, she’s said it’s nothing. That she just needed a change.”
My brother considered that for a long moment, watching Swayze pop up from behind the chair to fire at Gunner, who’d finished dishes and come to join the fray, before dropping back down with a laugh. “You want me to look into her?”
“No.” The word came out more forcefully than I’d intended.
“No, that feels like some kind of betrayal, like I don’t trust her.
I don’t think it’s anything illegal—she’s not on the run from the law or anything like that.
I guess I’m just afraid she’s got some kind of trauma or baggage that could come back to bite us in the ass.
Either way, whatever it is, she needs to tell me herself. In her own time, when she’s ready.”
“Alright. You let me know if you change your mind.” Bodie squeezed my shoulder, a brief gesture of support. “Offer stands if you need it.”
I wouldn’t change my mind about that. Couldn’t.
Not if I wanted to build something real with her based on trust rather than suspicion.
I was all in now, committed to seeing where this could go.
But deep down, in a place I didn’t like to examine too closely, I was afraid that she had doubts—about me, about us, about staying in this small town—that would keep her from feeling the same way I did.