Chapter 25 Kailin
KAILIN
"The body keeps a score, even when the mind pretends otherwise."
—Unattributed inscription in the medical wing.
The note had arrived the night before, slipped under our door while Alar and I were at dinner. It informed me that Commander Ravel would escort me to the medical wing in the morning and that I should be ready at dawn.
The commander had told me about the appointment a few days ago, but with all that had happened, it had slipped my mind.
Alar hadn't forgotten, though, and he wasn't happy about Ravel escorting me.
"A commander shouldn't be tasked with ferrying a cadet." He'd paced our room in agitated circles. "Even if that cadet is the Hero of Elucia."
"It's probably for security reasons," I'd said, touching the handgun concealed at my waist, a reminder of the explosion at the Circle of Fate three days ago. "They still haven't caught anyone."
The investigation was ongoing. Ravel had warned us that the traitors might try again, which was why all five of us now carried weapons at all times.
The weight of the gun was still unfamiliar, sometimes catching on my uniform when I moved, and it wasn't reassuring either.
The Citadel was supposed to be the safest place in Elucia, and knowing that there were enemies within its walls was deeply disturbing to me and everyone else.
That was why a squadron commander was escorting me to a medical appointment, but Alar wasn't thinking with his mind. His jealousy had reared its head again and was clouding his reasoning.
I didn't like that side of him, but I couldn't really blame him for feeling that way. If he were spending a lot of alone time with an attractive female commander, I would have been jealous too, even if there was nothing between them and they acted professionally.
It was the potential of something that might happen because of proximity, because of shared interests, because compatible males and females who were spending a lot of time together were vulnerable to the forces of nature.
Now, I stood in the hallway with Alar by my side as my other friends were leaving for conditioning.
"You'll be fine." Shovia squeezed my arm, careful to avoid the spot where my gun was holstered. "They'll figure out what's wrong with you and fix it."
Codric just smiled. "Good luck, Kailin. I hope they find a way to help you."
Morek just gave me a thumbs up before following them down the corridor.
Alar walked me out to the landing platform. "It's telling that Saphir thinks you can't walk to the medical wing on your own and sends Ravel with Onyx to take you there."
"I think he did it for security reasons, but he could have sent some junior rider like my brother. He shouldn't have bothered Commander Ravel. I feel bad about that."
"He's worried about you." Alar pulled me close. "And so am I. You shouldn't be this weak so many days after Podana."
I leaned into him, drawing comfort from his solid body. The explosion had shaken all of us, but my fatigue had persisted long before that. "I hope they'll find out what's wrong with me and will know how to fix it."
He kissed my forehead. "I'll come check on you after conditioning."
"I hope to be back by then."
He held me a moment longer, then released me reluctantly. "Good luck."
"It's a medical exam, not a battle."
"Everything is a battle." He held me to him again. "We're always fighting for something. Right now, you're fighting to get your strength back." He seemed reluctant to leave me.
"Go." I pushed on his chest. "You'll be late for conditioning."
Alar glanced at the sky, no doubt searching for Onyx, but he couldn't wait out here with me, or he would get in trouble for being late.
"Go," I said again. "I'll be fine out here for the next few minutes." I patted my holstered gun. "I'm armed, and I know how to use it."
Letting out a breath, he kissed my forehead once more and ran inside. He would have to rush up the stairs, taking two at a time to avoid being late.
I turned toward the sky, searching for Onyx's distinctive black scales against the morning light.
He appeared moments later, descending in a graceful spiral, dragon and rider forming one formidable unit.
Landing with barely a sound, Onyx folded his wings and turned his golden eyes on me. "Good morning, Little Warrior."
"Good morning, Onyx. Commander Ravel."
Ravel dismounted and approached. In the early dawn light, his features looked carved from stone—sharp cheekbones, strong jaw, those dark eyes with their peculiar golden flecks. He wore his fatigues with the same confidence he wore everything else, whether it was a dress uniform or civilian clothes.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Well enough to walk to the medical wing. Your time is too valuable to waste on transporting a cadet."
"I'm worried about you, and so is Saphir."
The simple statement caught me off guard. Not "the Shaman is worried" or "it's my duty." Just "I'm worried."
"I did well enough getting out of the temple ruins after the explosion. This trek isn't more difficult."
"I know, but we decided you should preserve your energy." He held out a hand. "Besides, danger lurks inside the Citadel walls. You are too valuable to leave exposed."
I knew that but hearing him confirm my suspicions made it somehow worse.
He instructed me to sit behind him instead of in front, with my arms around his waist to steady myself.
It was the same position as the last time I had flown with him, but right after the explosion, I'd been too distraught to notice the way my thighs cradled his, or the breadth of his shoulders, or the way his jet-black hair curled slightly at his collar.
"Stop it. I'm in love with Alar. I shouldn't be thinking about anyone else's shoulders or hair."
Still, appreciating Ravel's appearance and his masculine appeal wasn't a crime. I'd need to be dead not to notice how handsome he was, which could happen if I didn't get better.
The bitter thought made me wince. If the medics didn't find a way to help me, I might actually waste away and die.
Onyx launched, and the platform fell away beneath us.
The flight was absurdly short, seconds, really, just straight up a few levels and across to the medical wing's landing platform. I barely had time to register the wind in my face before we were descending again. Ravel hadn't even bothered with flight goggles.
We landed on a wide platform jutting from the Citadel's upper levels. The medical wing entrance was marked by a glowing silver dragon symbol above the doors.
I dismounted and looked around. The platform was clean and well-maintained, with clear markings for emergency landings. Several dragons could land here simultaneously if needed.
"This way," Ravel said, leading me toward the entrance.
The doors opened into a bright corridor that smelled of herbs and astringent. The walls were white stone. Doors lined both sides, some open to reveal examination rooms.
We passed nurses in crisp blue uniforms, a medic carrying a tray of instruments, a doctor consulting with a rider. Everyone nodded respectfully to Ravel as we passed. A few glanced at me with curiosity, probably recognizing me as the Hero of Elucia.
I hated that title more every day.
Ravel led me to a door near the end of the corridor. Before he could knock, it opened, revealing a handsome man with slightly graying temples and kind, smiling eyes.
"Ravel!" He pulled the commander into a brief embrace, clapping him on the back. "It's been too long since you've visited. I feel abandoned."
"It's been busy lately, Garver."
"It always is." Garver turned to me with a warm smile. "You must be Cadet Strom. I'm Chief Medical Officer Garver Thoran."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Chief." I shook his offered hand. "I hope you can find out what's wrong with me."
"I hope so, too." He motioned for me to enter.
The examination room was larger than I'd expected, with a padded table in the center, cabinets along one wall, and a desk in the corner covered with files.
"I'll wait outside," Ravel said.
"Actually, you should stay." Thoran gestured to a chair by the door. "If Kailin requires privacy during any stage of the examination, I can pull the curtain closed."
I hadn't noticed it before, but now that he mentioned it, I saw a blue curtain pulled to one side and a metal track on the ceiling. By pulling the curtain along the track, the physician could enclose a small space around the examination table.
Ravel glanced at me, his eyes asking permission, and I nodded. I didn't mind him being present. He'd been training me for weeks, he'd saved our lives in the explosion, and he deserved to know what was wrong with me.
An older woman entered through a side door. She had steel-gray hair pulled back in a bun and sharp eyes that fixed on me with interest.
"This is Healer Morah," Thoran said. "She's our resident herbalist and expert in shamanic healing."
"Kailin Strom," Morah said, setting her basket down. "It's a particular pleasure to meet you. I served with your grandmother back in the day."
That surprised me because she looked younger than my grandmother. Besides, Gran had never mentioned having a friend serving in the Citadel. "She would be glad to hear that I've met you."
"I hope so. What is she up to these days? How is she?"
"She's well. It became difficult for her to run the apothecary after Granddad died, so we moved in with her, and my parents are helping her run it. I apprenticed with her for a while."
Morah's eyes widened. "You did? How exciting. Perhaps if you fail the tests and can't become a rider, you could join our team here in the medical wing."
I had no intention of failing, but my health might impede my chances.
"Well then." Thoran gestured to the examination table. "Let's start with the basics."