Chapter 44 Saphir
SAPHIR
"Knowledge can be learned. Endurance can be built. Flight can be mastered. But purity of soul and the ability to open one's mind to a dragon's voice are either there or not.
Before they are presented to my dragons, they must first stand before me."
—Nyxath, Queen of Dragons
The roof of the Citadel had witnessed countless ceremonies over the centuries—bondings, promotions, and memorials for the fallen. This evening, it served a more intimate purpose.
Two chairs faced each other beneath the dancing auroras, with nothing else to distract from the gravity of what was about to occur.
No tables, no refreshments, no ceremonial trappings.
Just the open sky, the distant mountains, and the vast presence of Nyxath, who had settled her large body beside me, her scales shimmering with reflected light.
Moki sat on my shoulder, uncharacteristically subdued.
Twenty-six cadets had passed the endurance and flight tests.
They would all stand before dragons tomorrow and offer themselves for bonding.
Twenty-six was more than usual but still not enough.
We had more dragons in need of riders than riders in need of dragons, but that didn't mean that we could allow cadets who didn't earn the right to ascend to the Day of Volition.
I saved my favorite five for last for purely selfish reasons. I knew that they would all do spectacularly well on the interview, and I wanted to end the day on a positive note.
The other interviews had gone smoothly enough.
Nervous cadets, earnest answers, the usual mixture of ambition and fear that marked this stage of their training.
Nyxath had probed their minds a little more intrusively than in previous occasions, digging deeper to make sure that there were no signs of Elusitor's rot in them and that they were well suited for the bond.
Most would find partners tomorrow. A few might not. The choosing was personal, like choosing a mate, and the process couldn't be reduced to a simple list of attributes.
It was a mystical connection that either snapped into place or did not.
When only the five remained, I asked for Kailin to be brought up first. The interviews were conducted in private, with the cadets awaiting their turn on the floor directly below the roof.
"Shaman Saphir." She inclined her head respectfully to me and then to Nyxath. "Your Majesty."
"Hello, Kailin," Nyxath said. "Congratulations on reaching this milestone. I never doubted that you would, but some tried very hard to prevent you from getting here."
"Thank you." Kailin inclined her head again. "I owe my life to my friends and to Commander Ravel. If not for them, I might not be here today."
"Elu guarded you," I said and motioned for the chair. "Please, sit down."
Kailin sat, her hands folded in her lap.
The bruises on her throat had faded to faint shadows, barely visible in the dim light.
But I remembered how dark they had been just days ago, the finger marks of a man who had tried to choke the life out of her.
I was glad that Alar had killed him, but I had no doubt that the young prince was carrying the scars of taking his first life.
He had done it to protect the woman he loved, and he should be proud of himself for that, but even I, who had lived for over a millennium, still remembered my first kill. I'd forgotten the number of Shedun I'd sent to the deepest of the seven hells, but that first one had stayed with me.
"Little Warrior," Nyxath said. "That is the nickname Onyx gave you, but perhaps Little Shaman is more fitting, or Little Dreamer."
Kailin smiled. "I should object to being called little anything, but I don't mind. Maybe I will when I get older and more full of myself."
Nyxath chuffed in amusement. "I doubt you will ever get full of yourself. You are modest to a fault. I like that about you, but you should work on projecting more confidence. Riders are inherently an arrogant bunch, and to lead them, you need to develop some of that yourself."
Kailin nodded. "I have been getting better at it lately, and poor Alar bore the brunt of it. But I figured that he should get used to the new me sooner rather than later. I'm not the same girl he met at the Pilgrim's Lodge all those months before."
"No, you are not," I said. "Tell me what you fear most about tomorrow."
I watched Kailin's expression shift as she wrestled with the question.
"My gift will be a burden to the dragon who chooses me," she said. "I will need to draw on their strength to replenish what the prophetic dreams take out of me."
"The bond will strengthen you," Nyxath said. "But it will also amplify what you already are. Your dreams may become more vivid, your visions more demanding. Are you prepared for that?"
"I don't think anyone can be prepared for something they've never experienced." Kailin met Nyxath's golden eyes steadily. "But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to protect Elucia."
Nyxath was silent for a long moment, and I felt her mind working, assessing, weighing factors I could not perceive through our bond.
"There is a darkness in your dreams," she said finally. "A vision that repeats. You have not revealed the extent of it to anyone."
Kailin's face paled. "It's just a nightmare. It's not a prophetic dream."
"Are you certain?"
"No." The word came out as barely a whisper. "But I can't breathe life into it by voicing it, and I can't let it paralyze me either. I have to keep moving forward."
"Good answer, Little Dreamer." Nyxath's presence withdrew slightly, a signal that the interview was ending. "You may go, Kailin Strom. Tomorrow, you will find your wings."
"Thank you, your majesty. Shaman Saphir Fatewever." Kailin stood, bowed to both of us, and departed.
"What do you think?" I asked when Kailin disappeared into the stairwell.
"She carries heavy burdens," Nyxath said. "But she is strong. She will not break."
I called Shovia next.
As she walked over, her posture was a little stiff compared to how she usually moved, and when she sat in the chair, it was like a soldier awaiting orders—back straight, hands on knees, eyes forward.
"You can relax, Shovia," I said. "This is a conversation, not a court-martial."
"Yes, Shaman." She did not relax.
Nyxath reached into her mind, and as I had expected, encountered nothing. It wasn't that Shovia couldn't be reached. I had penetrated her mind when it had been wide open, thanks to the special tea given to the young pilgrims in the Circle of Fate. Without it, though, her mind was impenetrable.
"Interesting," the dragon queen said, and I heard the surprise in her mental voice. "Her mind is closed. I cannot read her."
That was Shovia's gift, the very thing that made her valuable to the prophecy.
"You cannot be read," I told Shovia. "Not even by the queen of dragons, but you need to drop your natural defenses and let her in, or you won't be able to communicate with dragons, which will disqualify you."
Shovia winced. "I've always been this way, which is why I wanted to join the Spy Corps. It didn't occur to me that it might be a problem for bonding."
"It will not be a problem," Nyxath said, but only I could hear her through our mental connection. "You just need to open yourself to the communication. Think of me as your friend, someone you trust implicitly."
I repeated what she'd said.
"I'm not sure if I can do this," Shovia murmured. "I don't know how."
"Close your eyes," I said. "Imagine yourself lowering the shields in your mind and sending a thought to Nyxath."
Shovia did as I suggested, and a moment later, I heard her question Nyxath through the bond. "What if no dragon chooses me?"
Nyxath's relief flooded through me. "I can hear you, child.
And you don't need to worry about being chosen.
All you need to worry about is keeping your shields down tomorrow so your mind is open to your dragon's call.
You will only hear that one voice in your mind. You need to let it in and respond."
Shovia nodded. "I'm still afraid there will be only silence. I never wanted to be a rider. I wanted to join the Spy Corps, to travel, to see the world beyond Elucia. Being here was never part of my plan."
"And yet you excelled. You passed every test. You stand on the edge of bonding with a magnificent creature whose soul will meld with yours for as long as you both shall live."
"I know." Shovia's jaw tightened. "I'm not ungrateful. I'm just..."
"Afraid that you don't deserve it?" Nyxath asked.
Shovia nodded.
"Do not fear, child. Tomorrow, a dragon will choose you, but you need to open yourself up to the bond fully and completely. No dragon will accept anything less."
"What if I can't?"
"We are short on riders, so a dragon might accept you the way you are and bond with you despite your handicap, but the connection will have to grow over time, and dragons are not patient creatures. Go now and practice opening your mind."
Shovia stood, looking unsure and determined at the same time. "Thank you, Your Majesty. I'll do my best."
After she left, Nyxath's voice returned to my mind alone. "She's formidable and will make an incredible rider. Her dragon will have much work to merge with her properly, but she is well worth the extra effort."
Morek arrived like a force of nature—eager, restless, barely able to contain himself.
"Shaman Saphir! Your Majesty!" He practically threw himself into the chair, then caught himself and tried to sit more formally. It lasted about three seconds before he was shifting again, unable to hold still.
"This one vibrates like a plucked string," Nyxath observed with amusement.
"Cadet Wagoy," I said. "Take a breath."
"Sorry, Shaman Saphir. I'm just—this is—I can't believe I'm actually here." He gestured at the roof, the auroras, the massive dragon watching him with patient eyes. "I passed the written tests. I never thought I'd pass the written tests."
"You underestimate yourself."