Chapter 47 Shovia
SHOVIA
"The bond cannot be predicted, rushed, or forced. It either forms or it does not."
—Shaman Saphir Fatewever, Day of Volition address
Istared at my reflection in the mirror, admiring my new flight uniform, which had been issued for today's ceremony. The dark blue fabric was thick and insulating but soft and comfortable. After the ceremony, we would take our first solo flight with our bonded dragons.
Assuming I was found worthy and heard my dragon's call.
As it turned out, we wouldn't know the names of the dragons until we heard them speaking in our minds, which meant that we wouldn't be able to stay away from the dangerous one because it wouldn't be up to us.
It was disconcerting, but all I could do was hope that no one in our quintet would get so unlucky.
"You look great," Codric said from behind me. He was already dressed, lounging on the edge of our bed with that easy confidence he wore like a second skin. "The uniform fits you well."
"Thank you." I turned to face him. "You don't look too bad yourself." I walked up to him, or rather, sauntered over, and leaned in to kiss him on the lips.
He grabbed me, and a moment later, I found myself on my back with him on top of me, getting properly kissed. It was lovely, but we had no time for that.
I pushed him off me. "Save it for tonight, lover boy."
He smirked, kissed the tip of my nose, and then, in one swift motion, had us both on our feet.
Sometimes the guy made me dizzy.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
I had to admit that I was. Some of the tension I was trying to ignore had eased. "I don't know." I put my hand on his chest. "I'm kind of dizzy. Are you trying to compete with Morek's speed?"
He laughed. "Come on." He took my hand. "I think I smell caff, which I desperately need. Let's go see if the others are up."
We found Kailin and Alar sitting at the table with cups of caff in front of them, looking like they hadn't slept last night.
"Well," I said, dropping into a chair across from them. "Someone had a busy night. Did you two tumble beneath the sheets until dawn?"
Kailin's cheeks flushed a lovely shade of pink. "I wish the reason for our sleepless night was that pleasant, but it wasn't. I had another bad dream, and Alar helped me work through it."
"Didn't you take the sleeping draught?" I asked. "It's supposed to keep you from dreaming."
"I did. The dream came anyway, but I don't want to talk about it." Kailin wrapped her hands around her caff cup. "I need to center myself and prepare. Today is too important to allow myself to get distracted."
I exchanged a glance with Codric. He gave a tiny shrug. If Kailin didn't want to talk, we couldn't force her.
"Caff?" Alar lifted the pot to pour into our cups.
"Please." I accepted the steaming mug gratefully. "I need to work on keeping my mind open today so I can hear my dragon talking to me."
Morek emerged from his room and headed to the kitchen. "Should we eat something?" He opened the cold closet and peered inside. "I can make eggs."
"I can't even think of food," I said. "My stomach is in knots."
"Same," Kailin echoed my sentiment.
Codric shrugged. "I could eat, but only if you eat too. I don't want to be the only one."
"Solidarity in starvation," Morek said. "I like it. Very dramatic." He closed the cold closet. "I have a nervous stomach too, so maybe I shouldn't eat. I don't want to puke over my bonded dragon on our first solo flight. Besides, it's time to go."
We finished our caff and headed out. The climb to the roof was shorter from the officers' quarters, but the distance to the staircase we were supposed to use was much longer.
When we finally made it to the staircase, we met other first-years who were on their way to the roof. All of them were dressed in the same dark blue flight uniforms, and all of them were wearing the same nervous expressions.
Good luck wishes were exchanged as we passed each other, some more genuine than others.
"May you find your wings," Davin said to us.
"And you," I replied automatically and added a smile.
He smiled back, but it looked forced, and I had noticed the same attitude with many of the others.
There was a coolness beneath the surface, a distance that had started after Kailin's prophetic dream about Podana, and it had been growing ever since.
It had gotten worse after we'd moved to the officers' wing.
I waited until we'd passed the group before leaning close to Codric. "Did you notice that?"
"Notice what?"
"They regard us as if we are different. They are not friendly anymore."
Codric took my hand. "They're jealous. It's natural."
"Jealous of what? We're all about to attend the same ceremony."
"They are not living in the officers' wing with their own apartment and a private bathroom.
" He kept his voice low, pitched for my ears only.
"The apartment is just the last in a long list of special treatments, and even though we tried to hide it, everyone knows that we are not treated the same as the rest of them. "
I snorted. "We're getting special treatment because traitors keep trying to kill Kailin."
"The reason doesn't matter. That's not how people think.
" Codric's expression was part amused and part sad.
"They just see people who are getting more, or who are achieving more, and they think it's unfair that they don't get the same.
They don't consider the circumstances. They only see the outcome. "
I studied his profile. "When did you get so smart?"
He laughed, but there was an edge to it. "I had plenty of practice growing up as a wealthy Elurian. When you have more than others, you become aware of envy."
There was more to that statement than he was admitting. I could hear it in the careful way he chose his words, see it in the tension around his eyes. But I'd stopped pressuring him to tell me about his life back home. Every time I asked, he gave me evasive answers wrapped in humor and deflection.
He was hiding something, and so was Alar.
Whatever it was, they weren't ready to tell me. And today wasn't the day to push.
We emerged onto the roof of the Citadel, and all thoughts of secrets and jealousy fled my mind.
This was it.
The day we all had been waiting for was here, and it was glorious.
The entire expanse of the roof stretched open beneath the morning sky, the aurora still visible even in daylight. The mountains rose in the distance, their peaks dusted with snow, and the wind carried a clean, fresh scent.
Saphir was waiting for us with Moki perched on his shoulder, and Nyxath crouched beside him. The shaman wore blue ceremonial robes that were embroidered with silver thread.
The remaining first-year cadets filed onto the roof and arranged themselves in a long line as instructed during yesterday's briefing. We stood with our backs to the mountain wall, several arm-lengths between each person, facing the open sky where the dragons would appear.
I ended up near the middle of the line, with Codric to my left. Morek was further down, and Kailin and Alar stood together near the far end.
Saphir raised his arms. "Good morning, Cadets. You have trained, you have studied, and you have proven yourselves worthy of this moment. Today, you stand before the unbonded dragons of Elucia and offer yourselves for the sacred bond."
The words washed over me, familiar from our studies but somehow different when spoken aloud in this place, at this moment.
"The bond cannot be forced or demanded. It is a gift freely given, a connection of souls that transcends mere partnership. When a dragon chooses you, they choose you for life. When you accept that choice, you accept a destiny intertwined with theirs."
I thought of Nyxath's words during my evaluation. Open yourself completely. No dragon will accept anything less.
I knew how to do it, but it wasn't easy, and if I allowed fear to enter my mind, it would be impossible. My shields were there to protect me, and the only way I could lower them was if I felt completely safe.
"You shall remain silent throughout the ceremony," the shaman reminded us. "Your only communication will be with the dragon who speaks to you in your mind, and you will answer telepathically as well. May Elu grant you the right partner."
He lowered his arms and stepped aside.
For a long moment, nothing happened. The wind whispered across the roof. The auroras danced overhead. Twenty-six cadets stood in perfect stillness, barely breathing.
Then the first group of dragons appeared.
Five magnificent creatures flew in loose formation. Their scales caught the light as they banked and descended, colors ranging from deep emerald to burnished bronze to pale silver. Some were smaller than Nyxath, some larger, all powerful and breathtaking.
They landed on the roof with surprising grace, their clawed feet finding purchase on the stone. For a moment, they simply stood there, regarding us with those unnerving eyes that seemed to burrow deep into our souls.
Then they began to move, lumbering down the line of cadets. Each step was deliberate and ponderous, their massive bodies swaying with the effort of ground movement. Claws scraped against stone as they shifted their weight, wings half-furled for balance.
In the air, they were grace incarnate. On land, they were creatures forced to tolerate an indignity.
The dragons prowled the line of cadets, pausing before each one, their great heads swaying as if scenting the air. I watched them approach, my heart hammering against my ribs, and forced myself to lower my mental shields.
It was harder than I'd expected. The barriers I'd built over a lifetime didn't want to come down. They were part of me, as natural as breathing, and asking them to open felt like asking my lungs to stop working.
Open, I told myself. Let them in.
A dragon paused before me. Bronze scales, golden eyes, a ridge of darker spines running down his neck. It studied me for what felt like an eternity.
I reached out with my mind, trying to project openness, welcome, availability.
Nothing.
The dragon moved on.
I swallowed my disappointment and watched as it continued down the line. It stopped before a cadet three places to my left, Rula, one of the twins.
Even from this distance, I could see the moment the bond snapped into place.
Rula's expression transformed from fear to wonder and then joy.
She reached up to touch the dragon's snout, and a sound escaped her which was something between a hysterical laugh and a sob.
Next to her, Rylon, her twin, looked like he was about to jump out of his skin, probably from worry for his sister.
The dragon knelt, and she climbed onto its back as if she'd been doing it her entire life. A moment later, they launched into the sky, spiraling upward in a dance of new partnership.
I was envious.
I wanted that to be me.
Four more bonds formed from that first group. Four more cadets found their wings and flew away. The rest of us remained, waiting, hoping, and fighting anxiety.
The second group of dragons landed.
Different colors this time. One was cobalt, another rust red, one of pale gold, a mottled gray, and one that seemed to shift between purple and black depending on the light. They performed the same lumbering walk down the line, the same careful assessment.
I lowered my shields further, pushing past the discomfort, the vulnerability. I'm here, I thought as loudly as I could. I'm ready. Choose me.
The purple-black dragon paused before me, and I was mesmerized by his eyes. They were the color of amethysts, deep, ancient, and knowing. I felt something brush against my mind, a presence, vast and curious.
My heart leaped.
Then the presence withdrew, and the dragon moved on.
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from groaning. That had seemed so close.
Three bonds formed from the second group. Three more cadets flew away. The line was growing shorter, the remaining cadets growing more anxious.
None of the quintet had been chosen yet.
I glanced down the line toward Kailin. She stood perfectly still, her expression serene.
Of all of us, I'd been certain she would be the first one chosen.
She could hear all of these dragons, could communicate with them freely, and she was without a doubt the best among us, a future shaman.
Surely one of them would recognize and claim her.
But no dragon had stopped before her. No dragon had offered her the bond.
I wanted to ask her what was happening, what the dragons were saying to the cadets they chose, but we weren't supposed to talk. We were supposed to remain silent and only communicate telepathically with the dragon who spoke to us.
And no dragon was speaking to me.
The third group landed. Five more dragons, five more chances. I watched them begin their slow procession down the line and tried not to let anger and despair creep in.
Open, I reminded myself. Stay open. Your dragon is coming.
I had to trust that somewhere among these magnificent creatures was one who would look at me and see a partner worth choosing.
The third group made their selections. Only two bonds this time, the other three dragons departed without choosing anyone. The line grew shorter still.
Sixteen cadets remained. The quintet was still among them.
A fourth group descended from the sky.
And still, I waited.