Chapter Seven #5
“Roe Cross Castle in Lancashire,” he said. “My father is Lord Longdendale and holds the Honour of Longdendale, a collection of castles and properties to the east of Manchester.”
“And you are his heir.”
“Only one question per move, lady.”
“That was not a question, but a statement.”
He eyed her at the technicality. “I am his heir,” he agreed. “And I have four younger brothers that I have to beat back at every turn, so do not think for one moment that being the heir to Longdendale is an easy role.”
She grinned, flashing those big dimples. “That is not true,” she said. “Your brothers are not really vicious… are they?”
She suddenly sounded worried and Kress’ lips twitched with a smile.
“Not really. My brothers adore me, and I, them. I could have done worse as far as family is concerned.” He jumped one of her pieces and plucked it from the game board.
“What is your favorite thing to cook? You said you like to cook.”
Cadelyn thought seriously on that as she moved her piece, easily jumping one of his. “Stuffed Eggs,” she said. “They are hard boiled eggs, only you remove the yolk and mix it with cheese and herbs, and then you bake it. It is quite delicious. Now, it is my turn to ask another question.”
“As you wish.”
“May I call you Kress?”
The humor of the conversation abruptly fled as he considered her request. It was so much easier when she simply addressed him as “knight”, because there was nothing personal to it.
It kept up some kind of imaginary, professional barrier between them.
Letting her address him by his name was lowering that protection.
He didn’t want to do it.
“Nay,” he said softly. “I would prefer it if you did not.”
An expression of great disappointment crossed her features and she put her head down, watching him as he jumped one of her pieces and set it aside. But he didn’t ask her a question; he simply waited for her to make the next move.
“Well?” she said. “No question?”
“No question.”
“Why not?”
He lifted his shoulders, refusing to look at her. “I know everything I need to,” he said. “Make your move, my lady. The hour is growing late and you must go to bed when this game is finished.”
Cadelyn didn’t move. She sat across the table from him, staring at him. “Why can’t I call you Kress?” she asked. “That is your name. Your men call you by that name, yet I am not allowed to? Why not?”
He didn’t take his eyes off the game board, but he sat back in his chair with a faint sigh. It was almost like he was afraid to look up at her.
“Because this is a professional relationship, my lady,” he said quietly. “We are not friends nor are we colleagues. You are a great lady, soon to be a countess, and I am a mere knight. It would not be proper for us to be so familiar with each other.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “You thought it was perfectly fine to be familiar with me the day you met me in Lynn,” she said. “What happened to that man who looked at me with such warmth and interest?”
He did look at her, then. “He found out that you are betrothed to the Earl of Ellesmere,” he said flatly.
“Do you truly think I am going to demean myself, and you, by continuing to look at you as if you were a woman without a betrothal? You do not seem to understand, my lady – this is the only relationship we shall ever have, a professional one. Once I leave you at Mountain Dark, I shall never see you again. It is finished.”
She looked at him as if his words had delivered body blows. With every successful syllable he spoke, her expression became more and more pained. As Kress watched, tears came to her eyes, tears she quickly blinked away as she lowered her head.
“I am sorry,” she whispered tightly. “I just… please understand. The day you and I met, that moment is forever seared into me. You were kind and handsome, and you looked at me as no man has ever looked at me. At least, no man I cared about. Those few moments we spoke gave me a feeling of everything I’ve ever written about, a taste of something so thrilling that it is something I never want to let go.
I know it is foolish to want to know about you, but I cannot help myself.
I am going to marry a drunkard and a weakling, when all I really want to do is come to know a knight who fought on the sands of The Levant and made me feel something I’ve never felt before. ”
Dangerous. God, this was all so dangerous.
Kress watched her struggle with her emotions and it took everything he had not to try and comfort her.
He couldn’t. But seeing her distressed made him feel distressed as well, because what she’d said reflected everything he’d been feeling but didn’t want to admit to himself.
This smart, determined lady was as attracted to him as he was to her, but he couldn’t let it go any further.
He’d seen what attraction to the wrong women could do to a man – it could tear him apart by the seams.
He wasn’t going to let that happen to him.
“I am flattered, my lady,” he finally said.
“But you must not look at our first encounter as something that would lead to something more. Mayhap I should not have told you that I would have returned to find you. I never meant… it would not have meant anything permanent. It was a harmless flirtation and nothing more.”
He couldn’t have crushed her any more had he literally stomped on her. Cadelyn looked at him with bewilderment and shame, perhaps coming to sense that whatever she had thought about their first meeting, it didn’t mean the same thing to him.
She’d never been more ashamed in her life.
“I see,” she said, quickly standing up. “I would go to my room now. If you will please tell me where it is, I will not trouble you further.”
Kress regretted what he’d said to her the moment the words left his mouth, more so now when he saw her reaction. He stood up.
“I shall escort you,” he said, motioning to the innkeeper, who was preparing her tray of food. “You may have your pick of chambers since I have paid for all of them.”
Cadelyn didn’t respond and she didn’t wait for him. She grabbed her satchel and turned on her heel, rushing through the door at the rear of the inn that connected to the three-storied building next to it. Kress moved to follow her, quickly, but she was moving so fast that he ended up having to run.
But he wasn’t fast enough. Cadelyn came to the very first chamber and threw open the door, seeing a darkened room with a small bed.
It was empty, and that was enough for her, so she slammed the door and bolted it.
She wouldn’t even open it when Kress pounded on it and tried to get her to open it for the meal he’d ordered for her.
But Cadelyn couldn’t, and wouldn’t, open it.
She sat on the floor of the cold, dark chamber and wept all night.