Chapter Thirteen #2
Yerik shook his head. “He has gone back out into the storm,” he said. “He is concerned that his men find shelter on this night. I heard him saying that to one of the other knights.”
Cadelyn’s heart sank a little, thinking that, perhaps, he wouldn’t come up to eat with her, after all. “I see,” she said. “I suppose that once I eat my meal, I shall go straight to bed. It has been a long and eventful day.”
Yerik nodded. “Very much so, my lady,” he said. Then, he eyed her for a moment before speaking. “I have finished the four poem cards that I was working on. Would you like to work on some more?”
Cadelyn had to think on that. Under normal circumstances, nothing could keep Lady Dark from churning out more poems but, at the moment, she wasn’t feeling very much like writing them.
It was odd, really. She’d always had such a passion for her poems, writing of things she’d never experienced herself, all of it inspired by the serving wench and the stable groom she’d seen and the clandestine kiss they’d shared.
It had titillated her imagination and fed something in her that needed to be fed.
The quest for love and desire, things all women of flesh and blood crave.
But now, things were different.
She wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but it centered around Kress.
She adored the man, but they could never have the kind of relationship that was honorable or sustainable.
He would have to be her first and only taste of that level of attraction, of the kind of feeling that consumed her body and soul by even the mere thought of it.
It was a pull like nothing she had ever experienced, a pull that would never know fruition.
It occurred to her that she and Kress were to be just like the serving wench and the stable groom. Everything they would ever have would be surreptitious.
Or not at all.
Somehow, that destroyed her inspiration for writing her poems.
“I have not written anymore,” she said, feeling incredibly depressed all of a sudden. “I do not know when I will, to be truthful. But we already have four cards – I am sure that will be enough to solicit clerics to produce them.”
Yerik wasn’t sensing her mood. “When we reach Chester, I will seek out the cathedral immediately,” he said. “It is Chester, after all. Surely they have a large one, which means there will be many starving clerics willing to earn money.”
Cadelyn nodded faintly. She’d never felt less like poem writing in her life. “I will leave that to you,” she said. “I do not need to see the cards; I know that what you do is always beautiful.”
Yerik dipped his head. “Thank you, my lady.”
He turned to leave but she stopped him. “Yerik,” she said slowly.
“If… if you want to return to Lynn, I understand. This journey has been nothing I had expected and to tell you the truth, I am not entirely sure what it will be like once I reach The Paladin. So much of this is out of my control. I wonder… I wonder if you should simply return to Lynn and continue making the cards there. I could send you a missive every month with poems on them and you can hold my share of the money for when I am able to collect it.”
She sounded uncertain and beaten, which was very unusual for her. Yerik peered at her, confused by her words. She had always seemed so confident about her poems and continuing them even after her marriage. But now, she didn’t sound confident at all.
“It has been an adventure, my lady,” he said. “I have no regrets.”
Cadelyn lifted her eyebrows, a defeatist gesture. “If you do not, then you are the only one,” she muttered. “I wish I had never come. I wish… well, it does not matter. Mayhap tomorrow will be a better day for us both.”
Yerik simply nodded, studying her for a moment before quitting the chamber and shutting the door softly behind him.
Once he was gone, Cadelyn found herself looking at the dog again, reaching out to pet his soft, warm fur.
Since Kress was evidently not coming back to eat with her, she saw no reason to remain awake.
The bed was calling to her and, rising wearily, she answered.
Making her way over to the lumpy mattress, which was surprisingly clean, she pulled back the well-washed coverlet and climbed inside.
She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.
It wasn’t something she realized, however. When next Cadelyn was aware, she could hear a soft voice in the chamber and she opened her eyes to see Kress sitting at a table next to the hearth, talking to the dog as he fed the animal something in a big wooden bowl. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up.
“When did you come?” she asked, yawning. “I did not hear you enter.”
Kress was stripped down. The wet mail and tunic were off, and all of his weaponry was off his body. He was sitting in front of the fire in only his dirty under tunic and breeches; even his boots were off and his feet were on the hearth, warming on the stone.
“I came in a little while ago,” he said, tossing something more into the dog’s bowl. “You were sleeping like the dead.”
Yawning again, Cadelyn climbed out of the bed and staggered over to the table where there was a good deal of food.
The scent filled the stuffy chamber. She was so tired that she stumbled onto the stool that was next to the table before reaching over to inspect the dishes.
As she began to poke around, Kress pointed to various dishes.
“They have quite a fare here,” he said. “There is pea soup with ham, and ham and eggs, and a pork pie. They have two kinds of bread. I think there is plenty to satisfy.”
Picking up a wooden spoon that had come with the food, Cadelyn dug in to the ham and eggs, which was essentially eggs mixed with pieces of ham and baked in a dish. It was delicious. The more she ate, the more awake she became, gulping the warm wine from a cup Kress had poured her.
“Are your men settled?” she asked.
Kress was eating the pork pie with his knife, tossing the dog big pieces of cooked pork from it.
“Aye,” he said. “They are so cold and water-logged that I am concerned about travel tomorrow. The storm today was brutal and if it continues tomorrow, we may have to cut our day short again. That means a delay in reaching The Paladin.”
Cadelyn’s chewing slowed at the mention of their destination. “How close are we?”
“If we travel all day tomorrow and the next day, we should arrive by sunset.”
She stopped chewing and looked at him in surprise. “Are we that close?”
“We are.”
Upset, she returned to her food with much less enthusiasm than before. “I see,” she said glumly. “Then… then it is possible that in two days, I will never see you again.”
Kress continued to shovel pork pie into his mouth. “You will,” he said. “I will be escorting you to Mountain Dark, so you will see me until we reach our destination in Wales.”
Cadelyn mulled that over as she tore off a hunk of bread, hunting around for the butter until Kress found it and put it in front of her. She used the back of her spoon to slather it on the bread.
“And then where will you go?” she asked softly.
He chewed the bite in his mouth and swallowed. “Back to London, to The Marshal,” he said. “Beyond that, I do not know.”
She took a bite of her bread, chewing thoughtfully. “He will send you wherever he needs you?”
“Exactly.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment. “Kress, do you ever become weary of doing what you are told?” she asked, almost wistfully.
“What I mean to say is don’t you wish you were answerable only to the king?
That you were lord and master over your own domain and did not have to take orders from the Earl of Pembroke? ”
He shrugged. “It is as I told you before,” he said. “We all must take orders at some time or another, and I find serving Pembroke to be both fulfilling and exciting. Well, for the most part.”
“You never want to do more?”
He set his knife aside and collected his cup of warmed wine, considering her question. “I have prestige and freedom now,” he said. “When I inherit Longdendale from my father, I will assume a great fiefdom. I will have a great army under my command. That has always been my destiny.”
“But if it wasn’t?” she asked. “What would you want to do?”
He shrugged as he thought on her question.
“I have been fighting other men’s wars for many years,” he said.
“There was a several year period after Richard’s Great Quest ended that I was paid a great sum of money to fight battles for the Saxon princes.
They are always fighting over one thing or another.
If I had not come home to serve The Marshal, then I would probably still be in Saxony.
Or mayhap I’d be in Scotland, being paid obscene amounts of money by the Scottish king to help control his warlords. ”
“Is it a mess up there, then?”
He smirked. “It is always a mess in Scotland. They are always looking for trained warriors to help fight their battles.” Then, he looked at her. “And you would be writing your poetry unhindered if you did not have a date with destiny in Chester.”
He’d turn the focus back on her. Cadelyn’s gaze lingered on him a moment before turning to the pea soup on the table, which was cooling and thickening. She put her spoon into it.
“Aye,” she said, taking an unenthusiastic spoonful into her mouth. “I would be writing my poetry, giggling with Lily-Elsie, and waiting for a handsome knight to marry me.”
“Did you have any interested parties before all of this?”
She grinned in spite of herself, her dimples carving into her cheeks. “I told you there was never anyone special except the de Lohr son.”
“That does not mean that you did not have any offers from other sources.”
She shrugged, toying with the soup. “Of course I have had other interest,” she said. “But no one I would consider. There was one attractive knight who showed great interest, but he was attractive only if he kept his mouth shut.”
“What do you mean?”