Chapter 25
JAMIE
We take a million selfies and get a second round of coffee in the process of picking out the rest of my accessories. I thought I’d have to try harder to not look at the prices, but they’re not marked anywhere, so it’s really not that difficult.
I just make Eileen promise that I’m not getting any individual item over five hundred dollars, and she nods.
“I’m not that insane. It took me, like, three years to work up to not having a panic attack every time I wore my Jimmy Choos out. It’s not actually fun if you’re worried about it. Ooh, but speaking of which, we’re almost to the shoe place…”
“I’m really picky about shoes,” I say apologetically. “I’ve got sensitive feet—”
As we round a corner, Eileen proudly points to a display window. The shoes are a trendy mix of sneakers and formal shoes, boasting comfort soles, sweat-wicking linings, and genuine leather.
I’m drawn to ones that look mostly classic but with a soft curve to them, and a subtle black outsole.
“Wait, these are… genius. I didn’t even know this was a thing.”
“You’re welcome,” Eileen chimes as she beckons me inside.
This is clearly a mid-tier place because the prices are marked, and they’re more than I’d usually pay for shoes, but not by that much, actually. Nikes aren’t that cheap to begin with, and these are double that at most. And I could see myself wearing these all the time.
Eileen wanders over to the women’s section, and I try on five pairs but ultimately go with the ones I first liked from the window. Someone would have to be looking really closely to see that they’re secretly sneakers.
Eileen pays for my pair with the corporate card, and two of her own with what must be her personal card. She’s clearly an expert at juggling cards like this.
It’s getting to be mid-afternoon, so she guides us and our bags over to a café. We pause for sandwiches and sangrias to refuel before the event tonight.
I fidget with the edge of my menu.
“Eileen, do you think… did Morgan ask you to entertain me today?”
“Technically, yes,” Eileen says without missing a beat. “But the shopping spree was all my idea. And I’m going to be fighting with her to share you now. You’re a delight.”
“T-thank you,” I say, cheeks heating.
Morgan and Eileen are polar opposites in some ways, a perfect match in others. They’re both assertive, bold, and direct.
I chew on my lip, then ask, “Do you ever think… if you weren’t a beta, you’d be an alpha? Does that make any sense?”
Eileen gives a deep laugh and nods. “Oh, my dad used to say as much. I was a terror as a kid. Still am.” She winks. “That’s part of why Morgan and I get along so well. She needs someone who’ll stand up to her—but without the alpha hormones, or whatever.”
“I hope this doesn’t come out wrong, but there are a lot of really capable women at Artemis. It’s really cool. It’s like a—a glimpse of how everywhere would be if… y’know… the whole patriarchy thing didn’t get in the way.”
Eileen smiles knowingly. “That’s how I think of it too. It’s part of why I stayed. Where else am I going to get to bring coffee to a whole boardroom of badass babes, right?”
I take a sip of my sangria. “You, like, eavesdrop and report back to Morgan, don’t you?”
Eileen’s eyes twinkle. “Me? Never.”
“So…” I try to sound casual. “How does Morgan’s significant other deal with her being gone all the time?”
Eileen’s smile widens. “Why do you ask?”
Fuck. Of course I can’t pull one over on her. I must be blushing so brightly. “Just curious.”
“Morgan doesn’t have time for dating. I’d know—I run her calendar. Her last hookup was…” Eileen counts on her fingers. “Six months ago, at least.”
“She puts her hookups on the calendar?”
“Yes, and… the office walls aren’t so thick.” Eileen takes another drink of her sangria, past a smug grin.
“Oof.”
“It’s not so bad.” She shrugs. “Like my own built-in reality TV show.”
“Do you watch TV?”
“Of course,” Eileen scoffs. “I’m like obsessed with Island of Love.”
“I learned yesterday that Morgan doesn’t have time for TV. Ever.”
“Is that what she said?” Eileen smiles, a secret on her lips.
I’m about to take a sip of my drink, but I put the glass down. “Say more.”
“You didn’t hear it from me, but… I still hear Heartbreak Hotel from the gym now and again.”
“Morgan? Heartbreak Hotel?!”
“Yep.” Eileen pops the p.
“Fascinating.”
Our sandwiches arrive, and they’re fresh and lovely and some of the best I’ve ever had, even though this place only has one dollar sign in my maps app.
“I’m glad I’m not totally ruined for cheap food,” I say, washing down a savory bite of sandwich with sangria.
“Oh my god, I know, right? Morgan hates that I get Starbucks, but she can pry it out of my cold dead hands.”
We laugh together.
“I will say,” Eileen continues, “I have much finer taste than I did when I started working for her. Five-star restaurants will do that, y’know? But there’s plenty of little gems all over. I love this place—I stop by every time we come here.”
“Does it… does it ever bother you? Knowing what a difference money like this would have made when you were a kid?” Mom could have bought us a house somewhere safe, instead of bouncing between landlords for years. The cognitive dissonance has been creeping up on me.
“It’s like… how lions suffocate their prey to death. That’s true, right? I saw a video about it. Anyway, it’s a pretty brutal way to go. But like… nature is brutal. And beautiful.”
Eileen has a thing for analogies, and I sort of understand what she means. “But we’re… not animals, right?”
“Aren’t we? Is there really any proof that we do what we do out of logic? Or is it just like: oh food, oh sexy, oh shiny object?”
“But life can have… the meaning we give it, right?”
“Hm… I think more in terms of experiences. Like, how many things can I go out and do and feel and try before it all runs out, y’know?”
I nod and ponder that over my sangria. “Yeah, I get that. I guess this is my philosophical streak coming out.” Eileen has so generously accepted me into her world, into these experiences, that it’s impossible to call her selfish.
“You should talk to Morgan about it though,” Eileen says. “She loves philosophy stuff.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I… I think I will.”