Chapter 38
None of the team knew what they were walking into when Liz told them she has a place where they could stay. Driving down a secluded back road that hasn’t been maintained for years was the last thing Riley thought they would be doing.
The long dirt road has towering maple trees lining either side.
Each one covered in leaves making up nearly every color of a sunset.
He stays quiet, steering them down the road until it opens into a large clearing with a house sitting right in the middle.
It looks like something plucked right out of a fairy tale.
Long grasses surrounding the house blow about in the wind.
To the right looks like what used to be a vegetable garden and the left has a small barn with an overgrown pasture.
The whole patch of land resembles a serene postcard you could buy at any small-town store.
He parks in front of the house, taking it all in as he climbs out. It’s bigger than it looks from the road. A patchwork of grey and white stones make up the face of the house with a towering arched doorway and a single arched window on either side, framed by wood so dark it is nearly black.
Deep green ivy snakes up the stonework, settling all over the rich grey slate roof.
Riley hadn’t thought about what kind of house he would give her when they finally got away, but seeing the house in front of him, it’s easy to picture: Liz in the milkmaid dress he loves so much, tending to the garden while he carries the heavy baskets filled with fresh vegetables, their dogs bouncing happily alongside them, stealing bites right from the plants.
At the end of a long day they can sit on the porch, watching the sunset.
Peaceful. Serene. Everything she should have had.
Riley watches her get out, looking up at the house.
It’s clear something about this place holds a deep sadness, beautiful as it is.
It’s in the way she has carried herself since they got close.
Less confident, trying to be as small as she can rather than commanding the room.
The moment she shrank back into herself, he wanted to know what was causing it, but the pain swirling in her eyes made him stop.
He refuses to make it worse by getting her to talk about it.
The guys notice it, too. It’s been all of five minutes and each one has looked at him like he should have all the answers. God, he wishes that were true. At least then he would be able to pull her from whatever dark part of her mind she has retreated to.
“You okay, love?” Riley asks, walking over to where Liz is frozen, staring up at the house.
She shakes her head, not in answer, but like she can physically shake off whatever thoughts are plaguing her, only adding to his worry.
Remaining silent, they lock eyes. What he sees in her has his heart shattering into a million pieces.
Liz makes her way to the door, digging around the bushes until she finds an old key.
Forcing it into the lock, she twists hard, shoving the door open with a groan.
Her head drops to the ground, rushing back to the SUV to grab as many bags as she can carry.
Riley follows suit, sticking as close to her as he is able, refusing to let her out of his sight until he knows what she is thinking.
All his questions are answered when he steps into the house.
Right inside the doorway is a staircase with a room to the side of it.
The rest of the space is a large living room.
He steps further in, dropping the bags on the floor.
Past the living room is the dining area, and beside that is the kitchen.
Everything is immaculately decorated. A mix of cottage core and modern.
A large sectional sits in the living room, dividing it from the dining and kitchen areas, making each one feel open while maintaining their own space.
There is a fireplace on the far wall and, hanging over the fireplace, is a large canvas threatening to send him over the edge.
He can’t look away from Liz in a white wedding gown, perfectly posed with who can only be her late husband.
They are looking into each other’s eyes while a little girl with eyes matching Liz’s throws flowers above her head in front of them.
Even as a painting, he can see the love and admiration on their faces.
Drawn to it, he goes to the mantle, looking at each and every photo lined along the deep brown wood.
Wedding photos, a child’s birthday, a man holding hands with a child walking toward a sunset.
The most tragic array of love he has ever seen.
He has half a mind to pack the car back up and get her as far from here as he can.
The only thing stopping him is knowing she will fight to stay, insisting it’s their best shot at safety.
Riley rushes from the room before he changes his mind, helping with the rest of the bags. He makes it back to the car in time to hear Liz telling Tyler about an old generator out back, asking to see if he can get it started. Her eyes flick to him for just a second, looking anywhere but Riley.
“Princess, why didn’t you tell me?” he asks as soon as Tyler leaves.
“Don’t,” Liz orders, handing him the last two bags.
He follows her back inside, watching as her eyes drop the moment they make it through the door. Riley wonders if it’s to keep from having to see her former life, the life she should be living, or to avoid all the looks of pity she is getting from the team.
“There should be plenty of room,” Liz starts as she walks into a small closet built under the stairs, tossing out bags of fresh linens that had been vacuumed flat. “There is a room here,” she says, pushing open the door at the bottom of the stairs, then climbing up.
The top floor is just a hallway with doors lining either side, most already open to reveal bedrooms and a bathroom.
The walls between them are covered in family photos.
She shows each pair that bunked together at the last house to their rooms, apologizing for not having something better, leaving them to get settled.
Footsteps come thundering through the house before Mikey appears behind him, huffing and puffing for breath. Ignoring him, Liz pushes open the last door to reveal the main bedroom and the king size bed sitting in the middle of it.
He wants to reach out to her, hold her, do anything to stop the cracking in her voice as she tells them that’s where they will sleep.
Tears roll down her cheeks. Liz pushes past them, nearly tripping down the stairs and running outside.
Riley stays a few steps behind, giving her as much space as he can allow himself while making sure she is safe.
She slows after she makes it away from the house.
He keeps watch, eyes never leaving her as she cuts through the long golden grass, billowing in the breeze. When she gets to the barn, he stops.
Five minutes. That is all the time he can stomach being away from her in this state. In five minutes, he will go talk to her, and if she truly needs more time, he will respect that.
It’s the longest five minutes of his life, sitting outside, listening to her gut-wrenching sobs and shuddering breaths.
The smell of old hay hits him when he walks inside.
Riley climbs the half rotten ladder to the second story, finding Liz sitting at the open hay door with her knees pulled to her chest. Slowly, he makes his way over and drops to her side, pulling her into his arms. The crying only gets worse, bringing him right back to that night she finally confided in them about her family.
Riley does the only thing he knows to do. His arms hold her tight. One hand gently rubs circles on her back while she lets everything out.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffles into his chest, trying to snuggle closer.
“What could you possibly be apologizing for?” he asks, tightening his grip, struggling to understand.
“For crying over them… again. All I have done lately is become an emotional mess,” she confesses.
“Don’t ever apologize for having emotions.
Especially now. If I knew this is where you were taking us, I never would have agreed.
I would rather we all sleep in the car then see you hurt like this,” he says, placing gentle kisses on the top of her head.
Holding her in the silence, he watches the sun start to lower in front of them.
“Please talk to me,” he says, those magic words always being her undoing. He can’t stand knowing the only woman he has ever loved is hurting so much.
“He bought it for us,” Liz starts, adjusting in Riley’s arms so her back is against his chest, and her head can rest comfortably on his shoulder.
“We always wanted a place away from everything. He found this cute house that was falling apart and surprised me with it. We worked nearly every day to build it into our forever home. It was so close, too. I started decorating and had new furniture delivered. There were a few more things we wanted to do before officially moving in. Then, they were gone.”
His grip tightens, wrapping his hand around her wrist while her other hand idly traces one of his scars.
Speechless. What is he supposed to say to her confession?
What could he possibly say to make any of the situation better?
Nothing. He knows there is nothing that can be done, and trying to make it better almost feels as if he would be minimizing her feelings and the weight of what she has endured.
“I thought I would be okay. It’s been years since they died. I should have told you this is where we were going,” she says, fighting back a fresh wave of tears.
“Love… please tell me this is not the first time you have come here since you lost them,” he says, dreading the answer he knows she is about to give.
“We had nowhere else to go, Ry. Tyler may have gotten everything he was looking for, but you still need time to figure out what’s next.
You can’t do that bouncing from one house to another, always looking over your shoulder, making sure Scott hasn’t found us.
I knew coming here would be safe and give you the time you need.
And yeah, I never thought I would end up back here, and it fucking sucks, but I am a big girl and I will be fine as long as everyone is safe,” she says with a sigh, finding a new scar to trace every now and again.
“I wish you told me. I never would have agreed to come here, not if I knew you had never gotten the chance to grieve this place, and the life your family should have had here,” he says, eyes locked on the sun just starting to dip behind the mountains.
“You guys are my family,” she says, following his eyes to the setting sun, trying to find the beauty in such a dark place.
“So, this is what you wanted huh? A calm, peaceful life, far away from the chaos outside? I really fucked up dragging you into my world,” he says, settling further against a hard bale of hay, adjusting both of them so they can watch the sunset together.
“It is. Things were so hard for so long. I just wanted something simple with the most important people in my life. Somewhere safe, with everything we needed. It could still be that. Different, but someday, maybe we could make it something to be proud of again,” she says, nuzzling into him.
“You would want to come back here? For good?” Riley asks, trying to hide the worry in his tone.
“For me? No, I will never live here again. There are too many memories. Too many ghosts haunting me here. But we both care about our team too much, and you know better than anyone that your own people can’t be trusted.
Maybe we can make it into an actual safehouse, kind of like the bunker.
Someday, far in the future, when I can stomach being here.
” Liz raises his hand to her mouth, placing a tiny kiss on each scar.
“As soon as this is over, I’m taking you away from all of this, baby,” Riley whispers in her ear.
“I should have done it sooner. Fuck, I never should have asked you to sign those papers. I was so fucking selfish trying to buy myself more time with you. If I could go back and do it all again, I would have told you how I felt on that mountain top, and we could have a normal life right now. You wouldn’t be on the run, you wouldn’t be back here, forced to face your past before you’re ready.
You could be relatively happy,” he confesses.
“Stop blaming yourself, Riley. I knew what I was getting myself into. Sure, I didn’t know how bad it would be, but I knew I would not be going back to a normal life and that’s okay.
We have already talked about this. Do I still want that someday?
Of course I do, now that I have you. But for now, and years to come this is our life, and that is okay.
As long as I’m by your side I am happy, even if it doesn’t seem that way right now,” Liz says, wiggling her way out of his arms so she can turn to face him.
“I told you, I may not like it, but I would never ask you to give up something you have worked your whole life building just so I can play wife again.”
“Have you stopped to consider that I want that life, too? The one where we spend our days doing chores, playing with our dogs, cooking, then curling up on the couch to watch one of those trash TV shows you love so much. I want that just as much as you do. This is all new to me. I was so young when I was taken the first time. I never got the chance to experience falling in love and having a life outside of the military. I enlisted on my eighteenth birthday and worked my ass off to climb through the ranks. Figured I would get to a position where I could provide for a family, then think about settling down,” he says with a sad sigh.
“Obviously, shit happened, and that plan went out the fuckin’ window.
I stopped thinking I could ever have that.
I knew no one could love me after I became Reaper.
Then you went and stabbed me and changed everything,” he says, watching her tears well up, rimming her emerald-green eyes, shimmering in the light of the setting sun.
He holds his arms open, silently pleading with Liz to snuggle back into him. He lets out a breath of relief when she does, holding her tight while the world fades into darkness around them.