Chapter 14
14
I’d love it if the next bit was me doing what every atom of my body wants to do, which is drag Tony off to bed. But what actually happens is that we’re interrupted by the staff spilling out of the house, all pent-up laughter and heels clickity-clacking on the paving.
Sky bounds over the second she sees us. Kat and LeMar follow more sedately, his arm solicitous around her waist.
‘Come out with us, Genie.’ Skylar’s voice is imploring, so I’m betting Katia and LeMar aren’t keen. I can’t say I’m crazy about the idea either, so I make a non-committal noise. Skylar interprets that as a yes, snapping round to Tony. ‘How about you? You’ll come too, won’t you?’
‘Come where?’ he asks, warily.
‘There’s a club in town that’s got a Sunday funday drum and bass night.’ Skylar sounds like she’s holding out a treat, but Tony shakes his head.
‘Sorry, Sky. I would, but clubs aren’t a good look for me right now. Plus, I dunno as anything that good ever happens in ’em on a Sunday night.’
‘See, Sky? No one wants to. Let’s go home,’ says LeMar.
‘You’re all so boring, it’s not even late.’
I do sympathize with Sky. She’s been on her best behaviour all night and she’s fidgeting on the spot, she’s so desperate to burn off some energy. But Katia and LeMar are sensitive about being the dullest couple in football, so I try a distraction. ‘Sorry, Sky, but I’ve got to take these shoes off. Why not come to mine instead?’
Skylar skulks her shoulders down. ‘That sounds thrilling.’
Tony shrugs. ‘I dunno, don’t you reckon the afterparty’s usually better than the club?’
Skylar gives him a toothpaste ad smile. ‘Can we go to yours instead? Genie says your pool’s to die for.’
He smiles at me, trying not to laugh. ‘Does she now? Cos I can’t say she’s been as keen on trying it out as I’d hoped she’d be.’
I give an embarrassed little smile. ‘That’s because I wouldn’t dream of inviting myself into a player’s home. Honestly, Sky, do we really have to have the professionalism conversation again?’
Tony raises his eyebrows. He’s so obviously thinking ‘pot and kettle’, I blush. Thankfully, all he says is, ‘Don’t worry ’bout it. It’d be nice, having some company.’
That’s probably true so I try to funnel a mental hug into my smile as I thank him.
Skylar’s practically dancing, she’s so ready to leave. ‘OK, great. Let’s go before Monica hunts us down over an unwashed glass.’
‘You wanna come with me, Genie?’ Tony asks.
I glance up at the security camera, and he gives me a little nod. ‘Yeah, on second thoughts, maybe it makes sense for you to keep Sky on the straight and narrow.’
I’m turning to follow Skylar to her car, when Katia taps my elbow. ‘Genie, can we stop at yours first?’
It takes me a second to guess what’s on her mind, then it hits me, and I murmur, ‘Swimsuit?’
She nods briskly.
‘Yes, of course.’
Katia still looks anxious. I guess she’s thinking nothing of mine will give her much coverage, since she’s lovely and curvy while I’m boringly flat.
‘My rash guard should fit you, if that’s all right?’
She nods again and smiles to show I’ve understood what she was worried about.
‘Sky, we need to call in at mine so I can check on Roudie, OK?’
Tony touches my shoulder. ‘Bring him, if you like.’
‘That’s nice, but he can be a bit unpredictable in houses he doesn’t know.’
‘That’s all right. I bring him back with me sometimes, after his walk. I reckon it’s lonely for him, getting dropped off right after.’ Tony shifts his weight and there’s an embarrassed twitch of his mouth. ‘And he’ll be sad tonight, won’t he? If you comes home then goes straight out again.’
That probably explains why, even when Tony texts me pictures of a mud-caked Roudie, I come home to a paw-print-free cottage. And it’s so sweet, it’s lucky I’m not diabetic.
For the first five minutes of the drive back, I’m all warm and hot chocolatey over Tony. Then, Sky does a dodgem-style swerve to get past someone hogging the outside lane of the bypass, and it hits me, I’ll be expected to swim too.
Just like that, there’s the start of a nervy over-caffeinated gnawing in my stomach. That can only mean one thing: any minute now, the little monster’s going to start clawing its way into my head. I try to block it out, but even Swedish House Mafia blaring at top volume isn’t enough to keep it at bay. Because here it is, digging its nails in, hissing, ‘It’s going to be quite the contrast, isn’t it? You in swimwear, when he’s used to Angharad.’ I snatch my phone out of my bag, and pull up her Instagram, like I’m going to prove it wrong.
Only obviously, now it’s laughing its horrible little head off, because here’s Angharad draped across a pool lounger. And she’s not just pretty or sexy, she’s film-star beautiful. There’s no way Tony could want me, after her. Except he keeps saying he does. And God knows, I want him, so what’s the matter with me? Why can’t I just believe him? And here’s the monster, raring to tell me that it’s because I’m not new Genie. I’m not even old Genie. I’m scared little mouse Charlotte, scuttling away. And I always will be.
Sky glances across and catches me agonizing over the shimmery gold perfection of Angharad’s legs. She turns down the music, which for her borders on an intervention. ‘Are you checking if she and Tony are done?’
I can’t talk to her. Not about Tony, not when I’m like this. ‘No, not really. I was just curious.’
Surprisingly, she doesn’t tease. ‘Whatever people are saying, I think they must be. She’s called the office a few times, when I’ve been on the phones.’
I shrug, like it doesn’t matter. ‘That doesn’t sound very done to me.’
Skylar shakes her head. ‘No, it does. Otherwise, she’d call him, wouldn’t she? Not leave a message.’
‘Except he’s terrible about his phone.’
Skylar shrugs. ‘Even if they’re not done-done, I shouldn’t worry about it. She sounds like a bitch.’
I’m about to say she shouldn’t make assumptions from a few phone messages, but Sky’s already turned the music up.
By the time we get to the lodge, I’ve got the headache of the century. At least it’s an excuse not to swim and to refuse the drink that, given I’m wallowing in self-pity, would be disastrous. Skylar nags about the pool, but Tony’s quick to jump in with, ‘Leave Genie alone. If she don’t wanna swim, she don’t have to.’
Katia’s equally ready to avoid the rash guard, with a claim that she’s also too tired for the pool. Tony smiles at her, and of the three of us, it looks like she’s become his favourite.
‘Yeah, you girls have had a busy evening, haven’t you? And I dunno ’bout you, LeMar, but I didn’t exactly find tonight a breeze neither.’ Tony’s voice is open-fire warm and LeMar nods, pulling a face like he’s just trekked up Mount Everest. It’s kind, Tony saying that. I can’t believe he didn’t notice LeMar’s hopeless at parties. But I’m too busy stopping myself from snarling to show Tony I’m grateful he’s making an effort.
‘So how about we just relax? Maybe get our breath back?’ Tony makes that sound innocent but he’s staring at me. I can’t be doing too well at behaving like nothing’s changed since the kiss.
I don’t reply so it’s Katia who gratefully agrees, and we drift through to the sitting room. I see now why Roudie sloped off the minute we arrived. He’s settled on a brand new bed so comfortable that he looks up, calculates that checking in with me isn’t worth the effort, and settles back to sleep. And Tony’s not just a good dog host. He’s every bit as smooth as you’d expect with human guests, based on how quickly he distracts Sky from mithering me with the offer of his Spotify.
She flicks through. ‘Tony, why do you have the musical taste of a teenage girl?’
‘I don’t. Most of that stuff’s not mine, I’ve just not got round to deleting it.’ He at least has the good grace to look shamefaced, since the music is presumably age-appropriate for Angharad. ‘If you scan through, there’s some stuff that’s OK.’
Skylar pulls a disgusted face. ‘Thanks, but I’ve already exceeded my maximum daily dose of Ed Sheeran. We’ll use something of Genie’s.’
Tony looks sceptical that anything of mine will be an improvement, so it’s pleasing that the first thing I find is a playlist that’s afterparty drifting into hangover session, all melancholy builds and hypnotic drops. ‘How’s that?’
Tony walks across and bends over my chair, so close it triggers the familiar wave of something bordering on panic, I want to touch him so badly. He nods and the light from the lamp beside us plays across his cheekbones.
‘Yeah, not bad actually.’ He tries a smile but the best I can manage in return is a minimal reduction in sulkiness. ‘I’d not have had you down as a club head. But then, there’s a lot of stuff ’bout you that’s a touch unpredictable.’
I come dangerously close to a head toss, as I snap, ‘I’m too old for clubs now.’
Tony shakes his head, narrowing down his eyes. ‘I don’t see that. Me and you aren’t too far apart, age-wise anyhow, and I’m not.’
My smile is small and brittle. ‘Yes, but you’re a man.’
‘Why’s that matter?’ His voice is becoming less indulgent and more irritated. I can’t say I blame him. But I can’t shrug off being so disappointed in myself, I’m furious with everyone else.
I tense my fingers, then look up at him, all sullen eyes and taut mouth. ‘If you ever had to queue any more, all they’d be looking at is if you’ve got the money for bottle service. For women, it’s some random man evaluating if you’re attractive enough to let in.’
Tony goes to touch my arm then thinks better of it. ‘If that’s how it makes you feel, you’re going to the wrong places, love.’ And he says it nicely, but it’d mean a whole lot more if the sort of clubs we’re talking about weren’t created for the Tony Garratts of this world. So, it’s unfortunate that he chooses to add in an undertone, ‘And maybe you should rethink coming out with me after all, cos I reckon I could sort that all right.’
I make a ‘whatever’ gesture with my hand, and go and slump down next to Roudie. You don’t need to tell me I’m behaving badly. I know that, and so does Tony, who ignores me for the rest of the evening. Which is beyond dull, with Tony alternating between desultory flirting with Sky and intensely polite conversation with LeMar and Katia.
The only remotely interesting snippet is between Sky and Tony. They’re comparing tattoos, and Sky asks what he plans on getting next.
Tony shrugs. ‘Probably nothing. I’m running out of space, cos I’m not into full sleeves.’
Sky points at the space next to the lion over his right bicep. ‘How about there?’
I happen to know the lion was done after his first England call-up, not that I’m remotely stalkery. I’d assumed the space was reserved for another lion or two, after a big international win.
But Tony shakes his head. ‘Nah, that’s waiting for if I get married.’ He smiles at Sky, one of his sweeter, softer smiles, as he points to one side of the lion. ‘I’m gonna get a lioness there, for my missus.’ The smile becomes actually shy, which I don’t know that I’ve seen before, as he runs his finger over the skin below. ‘And this is for a couple of cubs, if stuff goes right.’
I bet ninety-nine per cent of women can’t resist that, but Sky’s not a fan of monogamy, and she looks like she’s struggling to suppress a yawn. Then she glances quickly over at me, still huddled up next to Roudie, and asks, ‘Is there a lioness on the horizon?’
Tony pulls a face. ‘I dunno. I was thinking maybe, but now, I’m not sure me and her are on the same page.’
So, he and Angharad must be in one of those not-quite-on, not-quite-off phases. That’d explain why Tony doesn’t seem as happy as I’d expect for a man whose comeback match was as smooth as silk.