Chapter 12
Twelve
Stop thinking about everything so much. You’re breaking your own heart.
—Searcy to Calliope
CALLIOPE
“What the hell is your problem?” my sister asked as she patted her infant son on the bottom as she swayed back and forth.
She looked wrecked.
Would it be rude to point out that she needed a shower?
I could smell the throw up on her from here.
“My problem is,” I said, taking the crying baby from her arms and settling him on my shoulder. “You’re exhausted. You need a fucking shower. And you need to eat something so that you’re not so crabby. Now, start with the shower, because you really stink.”
Searcy looked at me for a long second before she said, “That was rude.”
“Rude and truthful,” I said. “Now go, for the love of God. Even the dog won’t get close to you right now.”
Searcy looked down, then sideways as if she fully expected her dog to be there. But he was nowhere in sight. I doubted it was due to her smell, and more likely the screaming infant that was in my arms, but still.
“Shit,” she said. “I’ll go.”
Her other two were down for naps—I’d made sure to put them there—and there was one left to go.
Searcy left, and I grabbed a towel off the dryer to lay down beside the sink in the kitchen.
Once I had the water to temperature, I plugged it with the stopper and laid a kitchen towel into it before starting on Dalton’s clothes.
He was covered in puke, and I couldn’t stop the wrinkle in my nose as I tossed the clothes to the floor.
The next to go was his stupid cloth diaper—yet another thing that Searcy was kicking ass at—and tossed that to the floor, too.
I didn’t fuck with cloth diapers.
I’d do the disposable ones, but diapers weren’t really my jam. And spraying shit off of them into the toilet wasn’t really something I wanted to do.
I’d just gotten the screaming infant in the bathwater when the doorbell rang.
I ignored it.
Whoever it was must’ve realized no one was coming because they let themselves in.
“Searcy? Calliope?”
I narrowed my eyes as I reached for the discarded pacifier that I’d accidentally tossed to the floor with Dalton’s clothes.
I was just washing it off and plugging Dalton’s mouth with it when Jasper arrived.
“You know he has an infant bathtub, right?” Jasper asked.
“Sure, but a sink works just as well.”
“Sinks are gross.”
“Sinks are gross if you don’t wash them,” I pointed out. “I’ve washed this one.”
That’d been what I was doing while Searcy was getting thrown up on—cleaning her house.
She refused to hire a cleaning lady, which was fucking stupid. She had the money.
But she said it was a pride thing. She could do it on her own.
And hell, maybe she could. But why would she want to?
“Okay,” he said as he walked to the sink. “Why’s he crying?”
“No idea,” I admitted. “He’s been fed, changed, and burped. He’s been swaddled. Unswaddled. Rocked. Put down. Now we’re trying a bath.”
The bath had somewhat worked. His screams were now down to whimpers.
“Looks rough,” he said. “Maybe he has gas.”
“If he does,” I said, “I don’t know what to do about it.”
Jasper walked right up to the sink and looked down at Dalton, who had a pitiful look on his cute little face.
Jasper reached down and lifted Dalton’s legs up high, pressing them against his belly. He released them, then repeated the move multiple other times when, sure enough, the loudest, wettest fart sounded.
“There you go,” Jasper said. “Where’s Searcy? Doc wanted me to drop this off to her.”
I eyed the envelope. “What is it?”
Jasper shrugged. “If she wants you to know…”
I rolled my eyes as I said, “Watch him. I’m going to get soap.”
I didn’t give him the chance to argue, leaving as fast as my legs would carry me.
I barged right into the room where my sister was showering and said, “Where’s the baby soap?”
“Top drawer next to the bath,” she called out, standing in the middle of her massive shower with her head facing the spray. “He likes the yellow one best. The purple makes him grumpy.”
I took the yellow and left her to her shower, stopping in Dalton’s room for a change of clothes and a damn big ass diaper.
When I came back out, Jasper was leaning over the sink, his muscular forearms resting against the small space between the countertop and the lip of the sink.
I laid the clothes out on the counter and allowed Jasper to continue the baby watching as I ran a load of clothes, folded a load, and separated the adults’ clothes from the kids’.
I drew the line at Doc’s boxer briefs and kicked those into the corner with the rest of his shit that smelled like smoke.
Once I had everything folded, I started with the toys that were spread literally everywhere.
I’d just picked up a couple of random Cheetos when Jasper came into the living room and plopped down onto the sofa. He kicked his feet up onto the coffee table I’d just freshly cleaned and maneuvered Dalton up onto his strong shoulder.
I felt my mouth go dry at the sight of him holding a baby.
The man was magnetic before, but him holding a kid? I didn’t even want kids and this was doing it for me.
He grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and threw it over himself as he closed his eyes.
I left him to it, thankful for the help.
I pulled out the vacuum and gave the living room, kitchen, and laundry room a quick clean before putting it back where it belonged. I went to the kitchen to clean up from the bath, got everything put away, then got started on the Crock Pot dinner that Searcy had planned for the night.
I’d just gotten the roast into the pot when Searcy came back, hair dry, and a fresh set of clothes on her body.
“You smell better,” I said as I threw the bloody plastic into the trash.
“I feel better,” she admitted. “What’s Jasper doing here? Not that I’m complaining.”
I pointed to a legal envelope, and her breath caught.
“What is it?”
She looked wary.
“Seriously…what is it? You’re being shady. He was being shady. Just tell me.”
She walked to the table and pulled out the envelope, staring at its contents.
She took a deep breath, then turned to me.
She handed me the papers, and I frowned at what I saw.
LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF POSY KASE HICKS AND SEARCY MADDELYN HICKS.
My stomach instantly soured.
“Why…why’d you do this?”
She leaned her hips against the counter as I handed her the papers, unwilling to read any further.
She crossed her arms over her chest, the papers tucked against her belly, and started to explain.
“I have three children.”
I nodded.
“And custody of Anders and Kent, though not for much longer on Kent since he’s almost eighteen.” She hesitated. “If Doc or I die…”
I was already shaking my head, my mind a mess, and a hole in my heart the size of Texas.
My sister had always been larger than life.
She’d been this huge, magnificent shield against all the trouble that we found ourselves in thanks to my mother’s selfishness. She’d been the rock. The backbone of our family. She’d been the one shining star in the middle of my blackest night.
“Searcy, no…”
“Koda is in the military. And although I think he could help, I don’t trust him with my kids,” she whispered.
“He gets annoyed when they cry. You just let them cry. You play with them. You bathe them. You get them to sleep. You feed them. I hope, no I pray, that this never comes to life. I hope that you never need to know anything about what’s in this.
But if the worst happens, and Doc and I are no longer here, I want my children to have you. ”
A sound left my throat that was close to a dying, wounded bird.
She placed the papers on the counter, then twisted so that she could throw her arms around my shoulders.
“With Knight and Elaine dying…I just can’t leave this up to fate.
I want my children taken care of. By someone that I trust with my entire soul.
And you’re it, Calliope. You’re their guardian angel.
You’ve always been so fucking strong. I need you to be strong for them if we ever die. ”
I knew where this was coming from.
Just a few short months ago, the Truth Tellers MC had a huge hit in their club family.
Knight and Elaine, two of their oldest members, had passed away in a motorcycle accident.
They’d passed away together and ultimately without prolonged pain.
But they’d still died. And it’d shaken my sister to her core.
Hell, I still remember the night before the funeral, overhearing Searcy and Doc talking about what the next day looked like for them.
They’d continued to speak in low, hushed tones.
But eventually they’d spoken about what they would do if this had happened to them.
Who they would leave behind. And I’d walked away, because the possibility had been overwhelming, and I hadn’t been able to think about it.
I may not be the nicest person in the world to my sister, but she was still the most important thing in my entire world.
Her arms tightened around me as she said, “I didn’t ask.”
I snorted. “You didn’t ask because you knew I’d freak out.”
“I know that you were broken when Dad died. It didn’t help that Mom checked out and forgot she had children. I won’t leave you on purpose, Calli. But I have to be prepared, just in case. These kids mean the world to Doc and me. You do, too. Don’t freak out too bad, okay?”
I snorted. “How the hell am I supposed to deal with three kids that close together?”
She laughed and pulled back. “Maybe by then you’ll have a man that’ll help.”
I snorted. “The only man that I find even mildly entertaining right now is constantly telling me I’m a disappointment.”
Her eyes went to the living room where we could just see the top of Jasper’s head as he continued to pat Dalton on the butt. “You do know, right, that you’re not a disappointment?”
I sighed. “I know.”
“You may have a hell of an attitude, but that’s only part of your personality.” She pulled back and cupped my cheeks. “He’s just giving you a hard time because he doesn’t understand you as a person.”
I sighed. “If you say so.”
She pulled back. “If they don’t see you’re special, then they don’t deserve to be in your life.”
Just then, a toddler crept out from behind the wall leading into the living room and I whispered, “Incoming.”
She groaned and turned, finding Pane at the ready.
“You do know that you’ve only had a forty-five-minute nap, right?” Searcy asked her most unruly child.
Pane grinned his cute little toddler grin that got him away with practical murder.
“Come on,” I urged. “You can help me.”
Pane came barreling toward us, hitting me like a tiny little battering ram.
I lifted him up onto the counter and handed him the carrots, bag already open. “Dump those in.”
He did, half hitting the floor, and half hitting the Crock Pot.
I scooped up the ones that hit the floor and rinsed them off just as Searcy said, “Most people wash their veggies before dumping them in.”
“Most people don’t think about the fact that dirt is the literal least worrisome thing that they’re about to put into their bodies.
Let’s talk about how baby carrots are absolute trash compared to their larger counterparts.
Regular sized carrots are okay. Not processed.
However, baby carrots are smaller pieces, that were shaved to be uniform and small, peeled and polished.
Then, they’re dunked in fucking chlorine. And we’re worried about dirt?”
My sister rolled her eyes. “You and your food.”
“Me and my food,” I agreed. “But you damn well knew that the Rao’s spaghetti is much healthier and tastier.”
She reluctantly nodded her head. “I just hate spending all that extra money. The store brand is cheaper.”
“And the store brand is highly processed. A good noodle should only have flour, maybe egg, and water if that’s what you’re going for,” I said. “It shouldn’t have a bunch of names that you can’t pronounce.”
Searcy sighed. “That’s why you’ll be the best guardian ever.”
I flipped her off. “Let’s not talk about that anymore. It’s Christmas, and I don’t want to be depressed.”
Pane reached for a carrot and chomped into it, luckily not from the Crock Pot but from my hand, and I shook my head. “Weirdo.”
He grinned, pieces of carrot between his teeth. “Yes!”
Jasper stayed on the couch with Dalton for two hours, holding him and napping himself.
It was only when Dalton woke up starving that Jasper handed him off to Searcy and announced, “Gunner’s probably wondering where the hell I am. Gotta go back to work now.”
“Thank you, Jasper.” Searcy cuddled Dalton close. “It was very helpful.”
He smiled at her, then turned to me.
He studied my face for a long second before he said, “Stealer.”
With that, he left.
“Stealer?”
“I might, or might not have, taken his food delivery order the last two nights,” I admitted.
“And he’s mad at me because I ‘switched’ the sign that delineates my house from his.
But to be honest, when I did it, I wasn’t paying attention.
I was cleaning the bird shit off of it because the delivery drivers couldn’t see our addresses.
I was being a nice neighbor. I didn’t mean to switch the sign. But he thinks I did.”
“Jesus,” Searcy snorted. “You’ll have to replace it.”
I was already shaking my head. “I’m planning on it. I have an order already placed to be delivered tonight. Though, I didn’t order Mexican food again. The man needs to broaden his horizons.”
“I heard that his taste buds are different,” she said. “That his tongue was burned somehow. Or something was affected. He can’t taste the same things that most people can. It has to be super spicy or it just tastes bland.”
“Oh.” I paused. “I guess that makes sense why he’d order the spiciest thing on the menu there. And why he would continue to order from there.” I tapped my chin thoughtfully. “I’ll have to revise my order then. I want to apologize with the food, after all, not remind him of his downfalls.”
She snorted. “You’re awful.”
I winked at her and gathered my things. “Do you have it?”
“Yes.” She tilted her head. “You’re okay with going to get Anders?”
“We’re good,” I said. “I’ll drop her off at home when I take her to get Chick-fil-A.”
“Why are you taking her there?” she asked.
“Because she hates pot roast, and I do, too,” I pointed out. “Pay attention, Searcy.”
She groaned. “I can’t make this many people happy, Calli!”
I winked. “No, you can’t.”