Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
*** LYDIA ***
C urled up in Hesher's arms on the balcony under the stars, Lydia knew the time had come to face the future of their relationship.
They kept putting the discussion on hold, telling themselves there were more important things happening.
Sometimes that was true, but there were spaces in between where they could have talked, yet neither broached the subject.
Even now it felt taboo. Just considering opening her mouth and saying the words made her heart pound so hard she was positive he could hear it.
So, here they were. Time was limited, and the words had to be said.
To calm her heart, she began with another subject.
"How does it feel to have the conference over and done with?
I know you worried for days over getting the right demands put in it.
Then you had to find the best way to word your demands so they sounded like requests and still make it impossible for the leaders to say no.
The stress has been lifted. Are you relaxed? "
"It is good to have it done, but I cannot lie to you.
More stress is building. The conference was only the beginning of many tasks.
The road ahead is a long one for Earth and Talonia.
Decisions must be made over how many soldiers to leave behind and which ones.
Would it be best for them to live in the big cities where they have been seen in their true forms and will be recognized every day?
Would being treated like heroes by some and interlopers by others cause them to become cynical?
Should they go to small communities where they can be seen as men first and foremost?
They could possibly make friendships before having their weredragons noted. "
"Can't King Acer and Maxxus make those decisions?" Lydia asked with concern.
"The soldiers are mine to command. Their welfare is my responsibility," Hesher stated firmly.
"There is more, much more, to be done. The deserts are being searched for the Savra orphans.
The ones who have been found are in the middle of adolescence, not a lizard and not humanoid.
They are hungry, frightened, and confused without the guidance of their elders.
Communication is a problem. They lash out at their rescuers not realizing they mean no harm.
To them, humans are the worst of enemies.
To keep from harming them, tranquilizers have become necessary.
Eveline speaks their language, and she has sent recordings with a crash course in the basics.
It seems they are constantly asking why no one has come for them. "
"They are the concerns of Earth's leaders now, not yours," Lydia told him.
"I am the reason they were orphaned and left here. I cannot just toss them aside.'"
"You can't continue like this. Not everything is your burden to bear.
It's going to break you at some point. Let others share the weight.
I'll help. Maxxus needs to step up because it is he that has to deal with future issues in the alliance.
You only spoke in his stead so there wouldn't be shouting and arguing that stopped the alliance before it even got started.
He has to practice diplomacy and now would be a good time.
The alliance is signed, and everyone is on their best behavior, so his outbursts and distrust could be ignored.
For once, think of yourself. You've done enough. "
"Bearing burdens, my own and those of other Talonians, is how I have managed to make my way through life.
I have been alone since a very young age, and it was necessary to care for myself.
Doing for others what they could not seem to do for themselves gave me a sense of family, brought me to the king's notice, and raised me in the ranks.
It is who I am. Without bearing burdens, I become nothing and have no one. "
Lydia was shocked to hear his words. She realized he meant every one of them. This wonderful, courageous weredragon didn't have any idea how much he was loved by all who knew him. He honestly thought he was only as good as his next triumph.
Carefully considering each word before she spoke them, Lydia tried to change his mindset.
"You've believed yourself to be alone for so long and worked so hard that you don't allow yourself to see what is right in front of you.
You're not alone. Your friends love you.
They would stand at your side and defend you until their death.
They're not there because you can do things for them, but because you are a good, kind, intelligent, and understanding man.
They would jump at the chance to give back to you in the same manner you've given to them.
I've heard how they speak of you. I've been told of the risks and sacrifices you've made, for Tae and Eveline, Daer and Shara.
You don't have one family; you have many.
Let them give you their love. They need to do it, and you need to feel it. "
"I have never leaned upon anyone. It is not in my nature. I am the commander. I do my duty alone so that no one suffers except me. It is my fate."
"You're wrong. I was brought to you by fate, or possibly providence.
Something or someone sent the asteroid smashing into my spaceship.
Of all the places in the universe the hyperdrive could have sent us, it sent us to Talonia.
We could all have died in that crash, but we didn't. Instead of a species who would destroy us on sight, we found yours.
And even more unbelievably, you were the one species who carried within them the weapon to save Earth.
You and I were given love on top of everything else.
Fate is what we make of what has been given us.
Love is all around you. Reach out and grab it," Lydia argued.
"I did. I desperately tried not to, but I did.
I knew from the beginning that it could not last forever and yet I allowed it to happen.
Losing love is more painful than never having it at all.
If I let others in as deeply as I have let you, the pain will become unbearable.
Insanity will take over. It is far better that I remain aloof and alone," Hesher explained.
"Don't you see that you already love them all?
Why else would you have aided Tae in saving Eveline, risking your command and your life?
Why would you have covered them with your wings to protect them?
Why would Daer tease you all the time, if not in friendship?
Why do you grieve over the loss of your soldiers or worry about the best place for them to live on Earth?
It's love. You're already in those relationships.
So, allowing them to love you in return won't make anything worse.
It will bring you comfort and happiness, a sense of belonging. Take advantage of it."
"And if I lose them the way I have lost you, how will I survive?"
"They would never leave you on purpose, and you already love them so it will hurt when they are gone regardless of whether you accept their love. You haven't lost me. I'm right here."
Hesher lifted her chin so he could gaze into her eyes and show her the pain in his.
"I cannot stay here. Though I love you beyond imagination and it will rip my soul apart to leave, I must do so.
My duty must be fulfilled. I have sworn an oath to the king and Talonia to honor my loyalty as the commander.
I did this before I knew you or had even a hint that someone like you existed.
You may be right. We may have been destined to meet, but if as you say fate is what we make with what we are given, then I have made all that I can of our meeting.
I have loved you as deeply as I can, and I have remained here longer than I should.
My heart and soul will always be yours, but I am leaving. "
"I know you can't stay. I've always known it.
It's not something I would ever ask of you.
You are bound to Talonia in a way that defies understanding.
You honestly can't live here, and you fear for your soldiers and their welfare in trying to stay here.
Finding you changed my life and my perspective on a lot of things.
I won't ever be the same, but that's a good thing.
Whole new avenues have opened for me, ones I never would have considered if I stayed locked to my youthful goals.
Indeed, you have loved me well. I don't regret a moment of it.
You filled the emptiness that I hadn't realized was there.
I could compromise and go with you," she said, watching for his reaction.
"I cannot ask that of you no matter how tempted I have been."
"You wouldn't be asking. I'm offering."
"You have a life here. You have a crew depending on you as their captain and whether in the old ship or a new one, you will be out among the stars seeking new worlds. It has been your dream since childhood. I will not take that from you," Hesher replied.