Chapter 28 Rowan
Rowan
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“What are you doing up so early?” I ask, still half-asleep as I turn on the kettle, though my hands shake just a little.
Early morning nausea. Except now it has a name. A heartbeat-sized explanation lodged somewhere inside me, throwing my entire world off its axis.
I grip the counter, pretending it’s the stupid kettle making me lightheaded and not the fact that my life can be measured in before I knew and after I knew.
Pregnant.
The word ricochets around my skull like a spell gone wrong. Or maybe right.
My mind spins so fast I can barely breathe. Shock hits first — icy and sharp. Then fear, hot and prickling behind my eyes. Then something softer, something I’m too scared to look at directly yet, something that feels suspiciously like hope.
And threaded through all of it is Finn. What does this mean for him? For us? And the careful, fragile thing we’ve been building, the thing I was terrified to even say out loud yesterday?
My heart thuds unevenly in my chest, and I swallow hard, trying to act normal, like my entire identity didn’t just tilt sideways.
He’s sitting at the small counter in my apartment, hair still damp from his shower, scrolling his phone with the most intense concentration I’ve ever seen on a human face.
He looks up, eyes bright. “Morning baby. Just doing research.”
That makes me laugh. “On what?”
He grins and turns the screen toward me. There’s an app open with pastel colors and cartoon illustrations. At the top, it says “Your Baby: Week 5.”
Finn’s off today, which apparently means he’s taken “excited dad mode” to a new level. It's adorable, and if I didn't feel so nauseous, I might be more excited myself.
I blink at it. “You downloaded a pregnancy app?”
“Two,” he says proudly. “One for tracking progress and one for, like, dad tips. Did you know the baby looks like a tadpole right now? That's crazy, Row.”
He says it with full excitement, like we’re raising a baby dragon egg, and I can't help but grin.
Morning light filters through the kitchen windows, soft and gold, like lazy magic. The kettle whistles, and I measure out some of my homemade ginger and peppermint tea blend that’s saving my life every morning.
I smile, watching him swipe through the apps. “What else did you learn?”
He nods, totally serious. “Apparently, its tiny heart’s already starting to form. And this says by next week it’ll start to have little arms. Arms, Row!"
My chest tightens in that dangerous, melty way. “You’re going to be such a good dad.”
He looks up, a soft grin tugging at his mouth. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
He sets the phone down and comes up behind me. His hands find my hips, warm and solid, chin resting on my shoulder. “We’re both going to be great.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, leaning back into him. “We will.”
He kisses the side of my neck. “You okay?”
I nod, staring at the steam curling up from my mug. “Happy. Terrified. Kind of both at once.”
He squeezes me gently. “That’s okay. I’m both too.”
For a moment, we stand there in solidarity of our unexpected excitement, the ocean breeze flowing through the open window, his arms wrapped around me.
I didn’t realize how much I wanted this until it became a reality.
Until I saw the joy in his eyes and heard him talk about something the size of a tadpole as if it were already the center of our universe.
And it already is. It's crazy how you can love something you've never met.
Maybe he's right and I will be a good mom.
He kisses my temple again and murmurs, “I need to check my app and see what it says about breakfast cravings. What can I make you?”
I laugh through the lump in my throat. “Probably dry toast. My stomach is still on hiatus.”
“Then toast it is,” he says as he reaches for the bread and hums under his breath.
I text my sisters and my mom before I can chicken out.
Can everyone meet me at the bookstore at 2pm?
Ivy: I have Junie, and we'll be there. What's going on?
Willa: Yeah, I'll be working, haha.
Mom: Ohhh, what's going on?
I am nervous as I stare at my phone for a solid minute before setting it face down on the counter. I’m telling them, and I need them.
It's almost two and I need to head over from my shop. The shops have been busy all day, but we usually have a lull in the afternoon, so I thought this would be a good time to tell them. Willa tried to pry information out of me earlier, but I told her that I would talk to everyone at two.
I’m already jittery when Ivy walks in with Junie skipping behind her.
“Okay,” Willa says, setting down her coffee from behind the counter. “You’re giving summoning energy. What’s going on?”
I pace in front of the counter, heart pounding as I make sure there are no customers around. “We have to wait for Mom.”
Ivy looks concerned. "She's freaking out. Did you get a dog?"
Junie gasps dramatically. “You’re getting another cat! Allen does need a friend.”
“No,” I say weakly.
Ivy’s eyebrows shoot up. “I can't wait for Mom. I need to know now.”
Before I can answer, the bell jingles again, and Mom walks in with that peaceful, witch-in-control energy she always has. “Morning, loves.”
Willa looks at her. “Do you know what's going on?”
Lilith smiles. “I have a hunch.”
Of course she does. My mom has always had a sixth sense about us girls. This is why I can't keep it from them. I'm surprised they haven't figured it out by now like Finn did.
My throat tightens. “Okay, I’m just going to say it.” I take a shaky breath. “I’m pregnant.”
For a heartbeat, nobody moves. Then the room erupts.
Willa shrieks so loud that Junie jumps. “WHAT!”
Ivy claps her hands over her mouth. “Oh my God, oh my God!”
Junie’s eyes go huge. “You’re going to have a baby? Does Uncle Finn know?”
“Yes, he knows,” I manage, laughing through tears. “He's the dad.”
Junie looks shocked. “Wow. I mean…I have questions. He killed the goldfish he had. So, I’m not too sure about how he’s going to do with a whole baby."
Ivy rushes around the counter and pulls me into a hug so tight I can barely breathe. “Rowan! You’re gonna be a mom! You made a tiny human!”
Willa’s so happy. “This is wild. I was talking about us all having babies, but I didn’t think you’d actually go first!”
Junie tugs on my sleeve. “I can babysit! I’m very responsible. Ask my dad. I'm good with Lola.”
Mom pulls me in for a hug. “I'm so happy for you, sweetheart. This is wonderful news.”
I shake my head, half-laughing, half-nervous. “I’m freaking out. But in a good way. Like my whole body can’t decide if it wants to cry, throw up, or dance.”
Mom's eyes are warm and shining. “Oh, I remember that feeling. I was scared, too, when I found out about you girls. Every single time. It’s supposed to be scary. It’s new, big, and messy. But it’s also the best thing you’ll ever do.”
Her thumb brushes away a tear I didn’t know was there. “Look at our family, Rowan. Look at what we’ve built together. You get to add another soul to that. Another Bennett-Maren miracle. How cool is that?”
My chest cracks wide open. “It’s… really cool,” I whisper.
Willa’s grinning through tears. “I'm going to tell Tate we have a green light to try. Our kids are going to grow up together. Cousin chaos!”
Junie pumps a fist in the air. “Cousin chaos! I love it.”
Ivy’s already pulling out her phone. “We need a group chat. Operation Baby Bennett. And a Pinterest board.”
“Not yet!” I say, laughing so hard I can barely breathe. “We still have to tell Remy, Donna and Pete. And let me just get through my first trimester before you start pinning nursery ideas.”
Lilith smiles knowingly. “This is good news that Donna and Pete could use right about now.”
I nod, feeling the words settle somewhere deep and certain. “Yeah, that's why we want to tell them so they can celebrate with us.”
We are all aware that we're on borrowed time with Pete and trying to live every moment fully with him.
The fear is still there, but it’s softer now. It feels more like hope.
Nothing in my life is perfect, but for the first time, it doesn’t have to be.
Donna’s kitchen smells like heaven. And since I've been surviving on toast for days now, my stomach is liking what I'm smelling right now, butter, tomatoes, and love.
I'm sure Pete has something to do with it because Donna is not known for being the best cook.
I know she's been trying hard to cook with Pete every day.
They've made some incredible meals, and I have a feeling this is going to be one that will live special in my memories.
She’s got pots bubbling on every burner, wooden spoons scattered like battle weapons, and a mountain of pasta so big it could feed half of Wisteria Cove.
“This is not an impromptu dinner,” Finn whispers as he opens a bottle of wine. “This is a full-scale Italian festival.”
I laugh, leaning against the counter. “You think she ever does anything halfway?”
Across the room, Donna’s fixing a pillow next to Pete and handing him a blanket. My mom sits next to him in a chair and smiles knowingly at us. It's probably killing her she can't talk about this with them, yet.
Pete’s thinner now, and paler. But his eyes are still bright, full of that teasing glint he’s never lost. Junie’s sitting beside him, drawing something on a notepad and explaining her latest invention involving goats, glitter, and jetpacks.
Ivy’s next to them. “We’re making Uncle Pete a treasure map,” she tells me, smiling. “It’s going to have the best treasure in Wisteria Cove.”
Pete smiles. “It’s going to have the best treasure, June Bug.”
“Will you tell me where you keep your secret candy stash?” Junie asks.
“What secret candy stash?” Pete asks, and everyone laughs.
The door opens, and Remy steps in, looking confused at the impromptu dinner invite. “What’s going on? Why are we having a random Italian feast dinner on a Wednesday? I mean…I’m not complaining, just confused."
Finn looks at me, smiling. His hand finds mine, warm and steady.