Chapter 37 Count Me In
Count Me In
Anything before ten is too early to wake up after a closing shift, but my phone’s insistent buzzing wins out over my dream. It was a good one too.
Today, Jude makes it more than worthwhile. He recorded my song. The one he said was all mine.
Jude Daniel (Take a Sad Song and Make it Sexy) Crawford:
Wake up for me, baby.
Sorry to hit you with such a long message first thing in the morning, but I had to type out what I wanted to say. Since I can’t kiss you now, you get a song. It came out a little more country than I wanted, so I’m still working on it.
The last two weeks have been hard but worth it. Thank you for listening, and being my koala, and making me feel like I’m allowed to rest. The way you trust me makes me feel like I can do anything. (It might be the emotional strangulation.)
I can’t wait to share more serotonin and every new adventure with you. I also want another shot at whipped cream in a dark kitchen, but we’ll discuss that later.
I love you, Punk.
I lie in bed a little longer, replaying Jude’s song and reading his message. Every time I start to call him, I’m overcome with gratitude. I take a few minutes to thank God for getting me out of the mess I was in.
Thank you isn’t enough, but I’ve got nothing else.
It still feels too good to be true—like I’ll wake up and be late for school with Alex laughing at me for having my brother’s spare pacifier in my backpack.
I finally message back, unsure if he’s in class by now.
Me: Turns out loving you is just as easy as trusting you.
Before I can say more my phone buzzes in my hand with a video call, and I answer before I remember I haven’t looked in a mirror yet.
“Good morning, Gorgeous.”
“Ugh. You’re a hot rock-star CEO, and I’m a swamp toad,” I moan, hiding half my face behind a pillow.
He smiles back at me. “Are you awake? I need to talk to you about something.”
The words hit my stomach like lead, and my face hides nothing.
“Nothing’s wrong, Lu. I just met with Ray, and he thinks we can knock this course out faster.”
“Okay. What does that mean?”
“He knew my dad, and he knows a lot about our properties. He noticed I was struggling and wants to help.”
“Struggling? Because of driving home? Because of me?”
“No. Yes. Lu, I wouldn’t change a thing; I just need a better strategy.
I have to plan exactly how I’m going to tackle a problem, but you’re not a problem.
You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I didn’t know how to divide my attention without giving you less than you deserve.
Coming home to you was exactly what I needed to put things in perspective. ”
“Do you need me to give you some space?” I ask with my heart in my throat.
“Don’t you dare. I need you. We’re a team. But right now, I think I should stay here and take care of business. A few weeks and this will be over, but you and me? We’re forever.”
My mouth falls open, and he chuckles. “Too soon?”
“No, forever sounds good.” I rub my eyes and push myself into an upright position.
“Waking up to you was all the motivation I needed. Getting the license is one step closer to waking up to you every day, but I don’t want you to think you’re not my priority.”
“You wrote me a song, Jude. You drove four hours and slept on the floor of my living room because you wanted to be with me. I’ve never felt more like a priority.
I just don’t want you to get burnt out. And I don’t want you to drive when you’re as exhausted as you were the last time you came home, so if staying there helps you, then that’s what you’re going to do. ”
“You’re bossy, Little Girl.”
“When it comes to you, yes.”
“I like it.”
Not complaining, not complaining, not complaining …
That’s what I’ve been telling myself for two weeks. Fourteen days of no wintergreen on my lips and shortened morning songs.
I miss him, but I’ve never been happier. His energy has been completely reset. Ever since the night he drove home, he has a renewed focus. He’s locked in. And not once have I felt locked out.
Yesterday was a month since our first kiss. If Jude hadn’t sent me cheesy messages all day, I’m not sure it would have crossed my mind.
Sam brought me a gorgeous bouquet of daisies, a soft pretzel, a diet cherry limeade, and a handwritten letter.
He held his hands up after setting everything on the counter.
“Don’t hit me, but I’m supposed to give you a hug and kiss your head.”
“Thanks, Sammy.” I patted his back.
“You’re welcome, Smalls. I do love you, but this stuff ain’t from me. Hope you’re not too disappointed. I woulda got you a T-shirt with that hot cowboy hat picture of me you like so much.”
I rolled my eyes with a laugh. “Moose, if you get T-shirts made, I’ll be the first to wear one.”
“I’ll be the second!” Annie called from the couch.
“Aww. Thanks. Hey, I feel bad Danny ain’t here to take you out to dinner. Wanna eat together since you’re off work?”
I shrugged. “Sure.”
“Awesome!” He hopped over the back of the couch and sat next to Annie. “How long will spaghetti take you? I’m starvin’.”
My wake-up call is live this morning, but so, so stupid early that I can’t form thoughts, which is ridiculous since my time zone’s an hour later than Jude’s. He sings me a little Billy Joel and tells me it’ll be a hectic day, so I might not hear from him until late tonight.
Since I’ve had a healthy dose of early morning motivation, I put on a dress and sandals with my hair in a bun and out of my face like a fully functional adult and make an appointment with Career Services.
Jude keeps telling me to quit Pop’s, but I can’t expect him to support me. I don’t doubt he’s sincere, but I won’t put myself in a position to be fully dependent on another person. Any other person. Not even my mom, so … no. And he understands.
Maybe there is something to getting up early, because after I locate my on-ground classes and leave flyers in several locations for an upcoming Sammy gig, I’ve still got plenty of time to put away laundry, work out, shower for the second time, and outline a paper.
Just as I’m ready to leave for work, my phone lights up with Lainey’s cute face. “Sorry to call, but it’s too much to text. Nathan was here. He’s gone now, but he had a Pop’s shirt on like he worked the early shift. I wanted to tell you in case Dave didn’t.”
“He definitely didn’t.”
“Dang, Lucy. I’m sorry. I put in applications at the theater, an indoor playground, and Fresh Mart. I don’t like any of those options, but I gotta get out of here.”
“Yeah, we both do. Is Gavin there?”
“Yes.” Her voice lowers. “He just got here. I better get back before Dave wonders where I went. Don’t forget it’s kids-eat-free night. Wear good shoes. Remember, smashed fries are slippery.”
“Blech. Okay. I’m on my way. Thanks for the heads up.”
“Hey girl! GIRL! I need more ketchup!” A waist-high toothless child pulls my shirt, leaving greasy paw prints all over me. This may be the night I snap.
“Say please, sweetie.”
Oh, nice. Gentle parenting for the win, lady.
I remove the empty bottle and place a fresh one on the table with my biggest customer service smile as something pokes me in the shin. I back up and find two kids under the table with corn-dog sticks, laughing hysterically.
It’s almost over. Kids eat free, but they’re rarely here past nine, and this is the only table still occupied by minions.
My phone buzzes in my pocket as I pick up dirty napkins and wipe smashed food off the floor. The family locator app’s warning is accurate. Sam predictably throws the door open, announcing his presence as he holds it open for Annie.
Her eyes go wide when she sees me.
“Rough night, Lu Lu?”
“I’ve had worse. Y’all are wet. Has it been raining?”
“A little,” she says, taking in my disastrous appearance.
Sammy stops short when he sees my hands full of trash. “Imma hug you later, Smalls. Love ya though.”
“You can sit in the back.” I motion to an out-of-the-way spot. “Glad you’re here, but why? You usually only come on Fridays.”
I didn’t mention Nathan. Jude’s been busy, and I was already on my way when Lainey called.
Sammy grins sweetly. “Oh, no reason. We just missed you.” Suspicious much?
“Hey, Lainey?” I call wearily. “Can you get their order? I need to clean myself up.”
“Yes!” She hurries to their table. “Hey, y’all! Annie, sweet tea? Sam, chocolate shake?”
I get sidetracked cleaning the restrooms before scrubbing myself the best I can. When I come back, Annie pats the booth seat next to her.
“Okay, what’s up?” I ask, scanning their faces just as Lainey brings their food. She stands at our table chatting, aka flirting with Sam, until Gavin starts moving chairs to sweep.
“Would you mind helping him?” I plead. “My feet are killing me. I already did the bathrooms. Just the floors are left.”
“You’re getting old, woman,” she teases. “But I will. Thanks for doing bathrooms.”
Annie nudges me. “Heard from your man today?”
“Not much. Have y’all?”
Sam looks perplexed and taps his phone before reaching his hand out. “Let me see your phone, Smalls.”
I hand it over and ask Annie about Jace, trying not to smile at how easily she answers. “He got called in. Another tech was sick.”
“Here ya go.” Sam hands my phone back. “I predict you’ll hear from him soon.”
“Weirdo.” I sit with them a few more minutes until Gavin comes back from taking the trash to the dumpster.
“Hey, Lucy?”
“I’m coming, Gavin. Sorry. What’s up?”
“Someone’s outside to see you.”
“Really?” I ask, stealing a glance at Sam. He grins, and I feel my phone buzz in my pocket.
I’m still greasy and have smashed food on my shoes, but I don’t care.
I walk—half running—through the kitchen. Loud pop music distracts Dave from my escape out the back door, and I remember a step too late that it automatically locks behind me.
Who cares. I’ll walk around. I just need to see …
“Nathan.” I gasp. My stomach practically hits my shoes. “What are you doing here?”