Chapter 1 #2
“Gwendolyn and Julie, you both look exquisite. It seems like you finally began to accommodate our style of dressing, which is delightful to see. It is essential that Gwendolyn fit into the standards of our family,” Mira said.
The fact that she used the short form of Juliette, my mother’s first name, just underlined that they knew each other from a young age and that Mira was very much aware of their different upbringings.
“Mira and Bradley, we are very pleased with the preparations you made for us; thank you so much,” my mother replied. The tone of her voice was even more false than her smile. Even though my mother approved and supported the marriage, she despised his parents.
Bradley nodded as his gaze wandered over to his wife, almost like he was waiting for some kind of invitation to speak. “We are just incredibly happy to finally find some time to travel.”
“Yes, Bradley wants to take me to Paris for a few months, so we require Alexander to be married in order for the company to have a serious representative,” Mira added.
From the beginning, I was very much aware that Alexander did not love me and that he only needed a wife for his social reputation.
But hearing her say that while attending our engagement celebration only made it worse for me.
I needed to keep it together, to not run away. But where would I even run away to? It wasn’t like an actual white rabbit was waiting for me.
To escape the other people’s attention, I excused myself and wandered through the garden, which was a labyrinth with many rose hedges and gold-furnished fountains for the birds.
I did have to admit, the garden of the Wrights was absolutely beautiful and the perfect place to spend your time with daydreams, at least until I noticed two girls from my neighborhood approaching.
Constance and Phoebe—the latter known for being in love with Alexander for about five years.
“Congratulations, Gwendolyn. You can call yourself lucky. No wonder Alexander wants to wed you. You are beautiful and quiet, and when he cheats on you later, you won’t even cause a scene,” Phoebe said and grinned as maliciously as someone could.
“But wasn’t her dad some kind of psycho who ran away? Wonder why one of the Wright men wants to marry into that kind of DNA?” Constance asked, laughing.
“I’m sorry that your life is so boring. All you can do is talk crap about people who do not even have time to think about you,” I replied coldly, turning to leave when Phoebe yanked my hair back. The daisy flower pin of my left strand fell to the ground.
“Who do you think you are, you little bitch, to talk to us like this? You and your family are nothing… I want you to remember this when Alexander proposes to you.”
Before I could react any further, a raven appeared out of nowhere and started picking at Phoebe’s head, causing her to scream loudly and run away.
“You are such a freak!” Constance screamed in my face before she ran after Phoebe.
The raven was still nearby, sitting on a branch, its gaze following me. It was shiny black, its feathers gleaming violet in the sunlight, and on its left wing it had a single red feather. Its eyes were a shade of a deep red, which was unusual, but everything surrounding me seemed to be unusual.
Still confused about what happened seconds ago, I sat myself down on a white bench and took several slow and deep breaths.
The mention of my father had caused a knot in my stomach.
Whenever I woke up with vivid nightmares, I imagined how my father used to reassure me that everything would be okay, that I was safe, and every bad memory was only a dream.
But he wasn’t there anymore, and my mother didn’t calm me like he had.
Instead, she accused me of seeking attention and told me to stop making things difficult.
My father had left us when I was just a little girl, and I could barely remember him now.
And my mother also refused to talk about their time together, so the only memories left of him are the ones I invented myself.
The legacy he left behind was the little gold compass necklace that I wore daily.
It was engraved with a rose and played music when it opened.
Musical sounds that were so calming and soothing, a foreign melody that felt more familiar than anything else.
I never knew exactly when I received it.
I just remembered that one morning there was a little box on my night table with a note saying, ‘For my little fairy.’
My father was the only one who ever called me that. He supported my interest in other lands and magical tales. Little did I know that it was going to be the first and last gift from him. Months later, he vanished.
After a while, the raven with the red feather flew down next to me. It looked directly into my eyes and lowered its head as a kind of agreement. Although I did not remember birds behaving so boldly around humans, this one showed no fear. “You seem to be quite an odd raven, right?”
Was I really talking to birds right now?
The raven’s stare was strong as it cawed, like it disagreed with me.
Before I could decide if I was really about to begin a conversation with a raven, Alexander came up to me with a smile. A smile most people would fall in love with. He was dressed in a creamy beige suit, bringing out his blonde curls and brown eyes.
“There you are, I was looking for you. You look exquisite today, I hope you know this,” he said as he pressed a kiss on my hand. Exquisite, the same word Mira used earlier. It couldn’t be a coincidence, since with the Wrights, everything was planned out. Every word, every gesture.
Alexander acted like he was really keen on the agreement of our marriage, but when we met for the first time, we barely talked to each other.
It was more like a set-up between our parents than a real date.
He never asked me about my dreams or about my interests, instead he only talked about himself and the huge mansion that he will inherit one day.
“Gwendolyn, if we get married, please don’t expect that we see each other very often. Taking on the role of my father’s position in the company will demand a lot of time,” he declared on our first date, as a warning never to expect anything romantic between us.
While I knew love could develop over time, I also strongly believed love required empathy and compassion, qualities the man in front of me clearly lacked.
The first time we went for a walk, we saw some poor children asking for food.
Alexander did not even raise an eyebrow; he ignored these children like they were invisible.
When I wanted to buy them some juice and bread, he became angry and told me to never question any of his decisions again.
“Come, let us dance,” he stated, his voice smooth with purpose. “They need us to see in love.” With those words, he offered his hand. A silent promise, no matter who watched us, he was determined to put on a show in front of the guests.
He led me up to the stone terrace, which was big enough to fit several hundred people.
Some couples were already dancing, staring at us when we both arrived in the middle.
Although I never took dancing lessons, my body seemed to know every step and every movement, like I must have danced in my former life.
The sky was cloudy, as if even the sun couldn’t be happy today.
I let my eyes gaze upwards, noticing a black bird flying across the horizon.
If I had wings myself, how easy it would be to just fly away.
Somewhere else where I could be free, where people speak the same language as me, so that I wouldn’t have to spend my entire life translating my soul.
The idea of a place like this made me smile and want to cry at the same time, knowing a place like this didn’t exist. At least not for me.
“Do I amuse you, Gwendolyn?” Alexander asked so suddenly it made me uncomfortable. But I didn’t want to start a fight with him.
“No, I was just imagining how great it could be to fly like a bird, don’t you think?”
As soon as the words slipped past my lips, I already regretted telling him such a thing.
“If you don’t have something intelligent to say, it would be best to shut your pretty little mouth.” The outrageous bluntness of his words proved to me how little he cared about his manners when it didn’t affect his reputation.
After the music had ended, he excused himself to join his family on the podium where Bradley Wright was holding his welcome speech.
He publicly announced that Alexander will be the next heir to their family business since Bradley planned to take a long-overdue vacation.
Alexander walked to the middle of the podium to accept his new position and thanked the guests for coming.
He offered me his hand to indicate that now was the time to come up to join him.
My feet refused to do so, but then I felt my mother pushing me up the stairs.
“Behave, he’s the best-looking man in town and now also the richest. Better than ending up with a man like your Aunt Elma did. Alexander can provide for you.”
My uncle August had been a wife-beating tyrant who spent all of his money on vodka instead of food for his family. My aunt suffered a lot because of him and still has the worst nightmares. Because of this experience, marriage, and children had been secondary in my life’s plan.
Alexander knelt down, and I already heard the astonishment of the crowd. “Gwendolyn Dawn Revelir. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
I looked around, noticing the reactions of the people surrounding us. They were just as eagerly awaiting an answer as I was to be saved by a little white rabbit.
All of a sudden, I heard a soft purr behind me. Turning around, I spotted the raven with the red feather sitting on one of the branches of a nearby tree. It used its beak several times to point toward the north side of the garden. It almost seemed like it wanted to communicate with me.
But why would a raven want to communicate with me?
Alexander cleared his throat, pulling my gaze away from the raven to focus back on him. Right, he was still waiting for a reply.
“Hmmm…” I stuttered, more to myself than to him.
My gaze wandered around the people on the terrace.
Their eyes were filled with curiosity. Then I spotted Phoebe and Constance in the crowd with hateful expressions in their eyes, telling me that there will come a time when they will take their revenge.
I knew that everyone around me expected us to get married and the proposal was simply part of the tradition. So, why was I refusing now?
How could I know what it was that my heart really wanted?
Alexander coughed again, leading me to turn around. He was impatiently tugging at the watch on his wrist… I had barely any time left. If my answer were too late, people would realize my doubts.
Out of nowhere, I heard the voice of a man in my head.
Follow the raven, my little demon.
I thought I was going crazy. Should I really listen to a voice I probably imagined out of fear of answering Alexander? There could be no way that the raven knew about my situation, so I assumed it must be an illusion, a way my brain was coping with the fear of marrying him.
“I would like to… Hmmm… I need a moment.”
I felt bad for showing off my hesitation. Nonetheless, I’d underestimated the effect the question would have on me. The intense looks of his parents and the worry of what might come if I said yes made me feel anxious. My answer would influence the course of my life.
Now, run now. It is your time.
There was the voice again, urging me not to wait any longer.
So, I did what I wanted to do before… I ran.
The raven flew directly into the forest right at the end of the garden.
I followed it. Maybe it was the little white rabbit I had prayed for.
I ran and ran, not realizing until too late that the raven flew directly into a hedge of roses and disappeared.
I tried to stop, but it was like an unknown power forced me to run further.
Out of instinct, I crossed my hands over my face to protect my eyes, but instead of feeling thorns…
I felt like I was falling.
I was surrounded by endless darkness; I couldn’t see where I was or identify what was really happening until I felt a weightlessness that made me float through the air.
Dimly, I registered some tiny lights nearby, making noises echoing the laughter of children.
The longer I drifted through the depths, the more lights came to chase away the darkness, until finally I recognized that I was in some sort of a ravine or a drip cave.
The walls of the cave were shimmering in unique shades of gold and silver, looking like the sun, moon, and stars all came together to celebrate.
All of a sudden, a light came directly at my face and set itself on my nose. It looked like a very small blueish branch which was not much bigger than my ring finger and appeared to have dragonfly wings.
Was this a pixie?
Very abruptly the floating stopped, and I fell down into the dark again.
A scream escaped my lips, and I thought I was about to die until I felt a soft grip on my chin making me gaze into a pair of eyes.
Their color resembled the brightest midwinter, lit with dancing northern lights that threatened to drown me on a snowy night.
“There you are, my little robin…” The words were spoken so softly and delicately as if after all the years he had been an illusion, he became reality. I felt his soft feathers caressing over my skin, embracing me in a kind of warmth I’ve always been yearning for.
“You are my angel, right?” My question was barely a whisper. Despite my soul craving for the confirmation, my body was starting to get tired.
“You’re safe with me, my love. Now close your eyes,” he replied.
Then… I drifted into darkness.