Chapter 21 #2
“Really, but aren’t they so obsessed with you? Some of them even gave me faerie wine to get me drunk at the ball.”
“Yes, some sirens might have been angered by your presence. But believe me, the women who harmed you that night are gone now. And since most of the sirens here are following Sparrow, you should never feel threatened by them again.”
Relief spread through me, knowing I was safe. I took a bite of the cake, the buttercream melting on my tongue with hints of lemon and almonds. I think I even moaned a little bit. Oh no.
“Is cake enough to bring out those sweet moans?” Xavier’s question made me blush again. I smiled sheepishly at his comment.
“I’m sorry, at home I was never allowed to have cake. I think the only time I can remember was a birthday when I was a child,” I explained, to excuse my embarrassing moans.
“Why were you not allowed to eat cake?” Damien looked at me, bewildered.
Xavier’s eyes were turning slightly red. Was he angry that I didn’t eat cake as a child?
“Women are expected to carry a certain look, where I come from.”
“What look?”
“Petite. That’s what embodies grace. My mother has cinched me into corsets since I turned ten years old.
I tend to put weight on easily… so she always forbade me to eat any kind of sweets.
” I didn’t know if I was oversharing now, but it felt good, letting it out to someone who barely knew me and wasn’t familiar with the rules of my world.
“Your figure is perfect, and I don’t think that eating a cake would change anything at all. I’m sorry that your mother couldn’t see that.” Xavier pressed a soft kiss on my knuckles, and my entire body felt warm. Not because I was aroused, but because I felt safe.
“Have you heard anything about Malakai?” I asked after a while.
“I asked Sparrow if he could use his siren powers to ask Seth, Lydia’s mate—” Damien replied as he poured himself a cup of coffee, “—who was sleeping with my cousin when I was knocking at his door…”
“Nathaniel?” Xavier asked, rolling his eyes.
“I had no idea, but the Veil opened when there was the ball… and he kissed a blonde man with a purple mask. I can’t believe my brother really snuck the prince of Aetrum into Carnivalland.”
“Is it bad that he is here?”
Xavier looked at me.
“No, but Dandelion will ask himself one day where his precious marionette is… and I don’t want my brother to take the blame for it, considering he isn’t even allowed to enter Aetrum.”
“Why not? I mean, if they love each other, can’t he just visit him, if it is the wish of Nathaniel as the prince of Aetrum?” I asked, confused. Why was it so complicated?
Xavier sighed, his fingers brushing mine. “Because… it is not just about love, Gwendolyn. Sparrow’s existence itself is already seen as dangerous by many, especially for Dandelion. Siren men like him are too powerful.”
“Powerful in what way?”
“Sirens pose a unique threat to the order of the Elven Court. It is not just their ability to seduce you or manipulate your emotions. They can bear children and also impregnate both men and women.”
I blinked, stunned. “Wait… you are saying… your brother could get Nathaniel pregnant?” Xavier nodded, intertwining his fingers with mine.
“But that’s… that’s not possible. Is it?”
“In your world, maybe not,” Xavier said softly, pressing a kiss against my hand.
“But in ours, magic doesn’t follow human biology.
The fact that siren men could create life, especially if it is Sparrow, terrifies Dandelion.
Their connection to each other threatens everything they built their politics and bloodlines upon.
My brother could destroy the entire legacy of Aetrum if he did that… and that could mean war.”
My eyes widened, flickering between Xavier and Damien, my mind struggling to catch up.
There were so many things about this world I didn’t know, things that went against everything I had ever been taught.
But it didn’t scare me. It made me sad to realize how much of a burden Damien had to carry.
The powers, the rules of where he came from, the dragon form.
I glanced at him now, sitting across from me, the light catching the white strands in his hair, the strength and power in his eyes. The dragon hidden beneath his skin. And still, he had chosen to save me, without hesitation, without expectation.
A lump formed in my throat.
“And... are you allowed to visit Aetrum?” I asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer.
He shook his head.
“If I want to keep my freedom, I probably shouldn’t even try,” he said, his voice calm but laced with something deeper, something bitter. “I was also banned, so if I enter the land, my father could put me in captivity.”
For a moment, none of us spoke. The only sounds were the soft clinking of cutlery and the low hum of the coffee shop around us. It was one thing to hear about political games and punishments. It was another to sit across from someone who lost their home, their family just for being who they were.
I reached out instinctively, laying my hand gently over Damien’s. His gaze lifted to meet mine—stormy, beautiful, and so full of things I would never say out loud.
I smiled. I felt Xavier’s hand stroking mine…
“There is something we want to show you before we go back home.”
I looked at both of them, bewildered, but instead of asking what it was, I took his hand as both led me out of the coffee shop. The smell of frosted cream and sugar left behind, replaced by the silence of the forest, as I followed them a little bit further into the forest.
And then, as we turned a corner, I gasped.
In front of me was a carousel, dazzling in different shades of silver and gold, with horses wearing pink-silver attire. It was beautiful, almost ethereal, as if it had been plucked from a dream. My dream.
Xavier reached for my hand, tugging me gently to my feet as I didn’t realize I kept standing.
“Is… is this for me?” I whispered, barely daring to believe it.
He squeezed my hand. “We wanted you to have something that’s yours. A place you can come back to whenever you need to feel safe. To be… just you.”
“How did you know?” I asked in disbelief. I had no idea how they would even know that I’ve loved carousels since I was a little girl.
Xavier chuckled and pressed a kiss against my shoulder before he pointed over to Damien. “When he was in your memories… he saw a small carousel which was displayed on your dresser. He was thinking that was what you wanted.”
I smiled, going a step closer to Damien. As I gazed at him, I felt tears forming in the corner of my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but it was no use. No one had ever done something so selfless, so pure for me before.
“Don’t cry, my love,” Damien murmured, his thumb brushing away the tears slipping down my cheeks with such reverence it nearly unraveled me.
My love.
The words fell from his lips so naturally, yet I could feel the slight tension in his hand as he realized what he just called me.
For a moment, neither of us moved. His perfect eyes stared into mine as if he was trying to memorize every inch of my soul.
I stumbled forward, still in disbelief, my hands brushing the smooth painted sides of the carousel horses.
Each horse was lovely, but my breath caught when I spotted one particular horse between two with pink attire.
It had a sleek, silver steed with a wild mane and different colored eyes: one a gleaming silver-blue, the other a deep piercing blue.
It was Damien. A hidden piece of him, carved into this personal dreamland of mine. Without hesitation, I swung myself onto it, my dress billowing like a soft cloud around my legs.
You chose the one that sees you.
I looked over to Damien and Xavier, but neither of them seemed to have spoken.
And then it hit me. It was the voice of my angel. He seemed to be a part of this now as well, making me smile.
“I’ll spend my whole life making you smile like this, Gwendolyn,” Xavier whispered against my ear, brushing his fingers through my hair before he took his place on the horse beside me.
Damien sat himself on the other side, looking at me with so much devotion, it made me ache to touch him, to feel him.
Did he also want to feel me? Did he know I was listening to his brother speak to me and he had been blessing our bond at this very moment?
The carousel came alive suddenly, making me wonder how it started until I noticed Xavier’s shadows moving the platform. Music drifted softly around us, a lullaby of violins and flutes.
As the carousel spun around us all under the evening sky of Carnivalland, I realized I never really got that feeling of having lost something. Despite my compass necklace being gone, maybe it had been the price for coming here.
Maybe I needed to fall through the rose hedges to feel safe, to not be afraid of falling anymore.
Maybe home wasn’t Carnivalland after all. It was them.
And I could only hope we would find the other part of myself, so I could be complete.