Chapter 23
Fourteen years. Six months. Thirteen days.
That’s how long it had been since I last saw daylight.
I was screaming inside, yet not a single word slipped past my lips. It was like I tried speaking a thousand words and all that came out of my mouth was silence. I wanted to pull at my clothes before realizing I was bare.
“Malakai, with an angelic body like yours it would be a shame to cover it up.” Her words still lingered in my ears—ears I yearned to cut off to never again hear the sounds of her whip against my skin.
The chains around my hands cut deep into my skin, the metal preventing me from healing myself.
I didn’t know who I was anymore, I didn’t even carry any dark thoughts, I was just empty.
I thought of her, of her touches, of everything she took away from me.
I wanted to hate her. But I didn’t even carry enough strength to express hate.
She’d abducted me, tortured me, made me do unspeakable things.
Things I couldn’t even name, as our language hadn’t yet invented words for such cruelty.
It was like my soul was a prisoner in my own, failing body. A body I was starting to get disgusted by, because it was only ever supposed to be given to my mate.
To Gwendolyn.
But no one could hear me. I was still here, begging for her to find me.
She was the only reason I still tried gasping for air, although my lungs had stopped breathing a long time ago.
Without the hope of finding her, caressing her skin, making her mine, I knew my body would stop fighting for good.
So, I needed to keep going, even if it was nearly hopeless. No one would be able to find me here.
“Where are you smelling him?” I heard a voice, almost a whisper, but I couldn’t form any words.
Who was talking to me? Was that my brother’s voice?
“What are you feeling?” he spoke again.
They’d found each other. A tear dropped down my face, realizing she was with him, and Xavier probably. Safe.
I looked up, imagining her. Gwendolyn. It wasn’t the first time I perceived her as an illusion in my cage, a beautiful, haunting, mesmerizing one. The side-effect of being so lonely.
Sometimes, when the days had been very bad and Leanan tortured me for several hours, I imagined the day I’d meet her.
Inwardly, I was aware it could only remain a wish.
I would never expect that anyone would want a broken angel as a mate.
I also would not even want her to, too afraid my trauma might darken any parts of her untainted soul.
My mother left us when we were little, she taught me the courage of the stars and moons and how beautiful it was to just exist. I always thought she meant the sky, but now looking at my mate and her strength, I knew she was talking about her.
She was made of the moon and stars, ethereal and radiant.
Her existence was the only guidance, inspiration and hope for me, her life provided a sense of comfort and reassurance in the lingering darkness I felt.
Gwendolyn was my solace, and even if I only saw her through my mental capabilities, it was enough to keep me going. As soon as she was born in the human world, I came back to my senses. The knowledge that the other half of me was still alive strengthened my resolve.
Somewhere in another life, I would be able to love her.
With every day stuck here, I started to miss her more and more, the feeling becoming unbearable. Sometimes I was afraid that it would break me. And even if I would die here, never meeting her in my physical form, I would always be grateful that the universe chose her for me.
I was tired, and probably dozed off for the hundredth time.
At some point I heard a rattling sound, as if metal was rubbing against metal.
I assumed my fever was causing me to hear things, but it was actually a real sound nearby.
I opened my eyes to see Gwendolyn, she didn’t even look like she was here…
it was like some sort of golden Veil surrounded her.
She was almost transparent, like a faerie or pixie.
What was happening?
“Malakai?” she asked, searching for me.
It was like the light, the stars and moons came all together and embodied themselves in one person. His soft angelical features, silver grey eyes, straight nose and beautiful velvety skin made him look like a celestial god, like he had been the answer to all of my prayers at night.
I smiled at the way she was describing me, and I knew she had no idea that I’d been listening to her thoughts every single second of the day. Even the sad ones, the sweet ones. All of them were part of my mind and have branded themselves in it.
“Gwendolyn?” I whispered, my lips grazing her soft skin, trying to see if she was real or only some part of my imagination. My entire body started to tremble as I felt her softness under my lips.
Was she really real? And how could she even be more beautiful than I imagined?
She cupped the side of my face, her thumb brushing my cheek as I leaned in to press the softest kiss against her lips to make sure she was really there. My gaze roamed over her, drinking in every delicate detail, every curve, every breath, every trembling heartbeat that called out to me.
I was utterly captivated by my little robin, unable to tear my eyes from her soul-deep, alluring brown gaze. The eyes that had kept me awake at night, which had given me the strength to keep going.
“You’re real… right?” I repeated in a whisper, still in disbelief.
She didn’t seem to be afraid of me. She should have been. Instead, she looked at me like I wasn’t a monster at all.
She pulled me into her arms, and my wings wrapped tightly around her, shielding her from everything else, from fear, from the darkness still clinging around me.
To make myself realize that she wasn’t a ghost, not a memory or an illusion, she was real.
I pressed soft kisses over her forehead, her cheeks, the bridge of her nose, savoring the salt of her tears against my lips.
Each tear was like water on parched earth—precious, and mine to cherish.
I had been so thirsty my entire life, starved for this connection, for something real.
And now, I could drown in the taste of her, in the raw and pure essence of her emotions.
If I could have used my hands, I’d use them to stroke over every single inch of her skin.
And I’d never let her go again. Even if I didn’t deserve her.
“Malakai.” That was Damien’s voice.
My wings tightened instinctively around her as my head snapped up, scanning our surroundings.
And then I saw him.
Damien. My brother. The only one in my family that loved me.
“Damien,” I called out softly.
“I’m here. You’re not alone anymore,” he replied.
He took me in his arms, holding me close, refusing to let Gwendolyn go either. My wings cradled them both against me. My brother and my mate were here… they’d found me.
For the first time in years, I wasn’t standing alone in the dark anymore. I was with the ones I loved, the only ones that ever mattered.
“Since when are you here, Malakai?” Damien asked.
But there were so many things I couldn’t speak out loud, especially not in front of her. Too deeply ran my shame. Too long had I let my body and my mind be used.
“You can’t stay here,” I said, although it was more of a plea. I didn’t want neither her nor him to feel the things that had happened to me. If she ever found out… even in my mind, I couldn’t bring myself to form her name without feeling disgusted and how I didn’t defend myself enough.
“You’re coming with us, Malakai,” Damien said, his tone a promise.
“I’m never leaving you behind again.” He rose to his feet, a surge of power rippling through his body, his eyes regarding the ancient stone walls of the cave I’ve been locked in, as if he was searching for any kind of trace I couldn’t see.
I had spent so much time trying to find a way out of here.
But there was none. Leanan was clever, she hid me here because she knew it was the only place between Veils, so it took a lot of effort to use your powers here.
For someone with minimal powers it was nearly impossible.
However, my brother’s powers were anything but minimal.
The fact that through Gwendolyn’s and my bond he was able to sense me, even in the sacred water of the Ancient Springs, a place that was supposed to mute all outside forces.
And now, standing before him, I couldn’t even begin to fathom how much he had changed… how much his powers had changed.
But it wasn’t only his powers that seemed to change, it was also mine.
Angels were able to form connections without bonding with their mates physically, but the way I felt Gwendolyn was almost unnaturally intense. It was like I could feel her body inside mine, her soul had been calling out to me, even when she didn’t know what or who I was.
She had called me her guardian, whispering sweet pleas to me at night. I focused on her warmth, the way her hands were still around me, stroking over my wings as tenderly as possible, like she was afraid to break me into pieces. Not knowing she couldn’t break something which was already broken.
Gwendolyn.
The monster wasn’t me, but the woman who had done this to me. And I let it happen…
You found me, I whispered across the bond. I buried my face into her hair, inhaling her sweet scent.
I clung to Gwendolyn like a dying man, feeling the warmth of her body seeping into my broken one. I barely focused on anything else around me, my gaze solely belonging to her. Every breath she took reminded me that I was no longer alone.
“Interesting,” Damien suddenly muttered under his breath, his eyes narrowing in on a place somewhere on the wall.
“It can’t be,” he said, voice low and certain. I lifted my head from Gwendolyn’s shoulder, the weight of hope almost too much to bear.
“What can’t be?” I rasped…my voice was so rough. I had no idea when I last had water to drink?
Damien turned to face us; his expression shocked.
“I believe I…” Damien stuttered, like he could barely form any words right now. The shock in his body was too strong. “…I opened a portal. It seems to be tied to my dragon magic. That is how Gwendolyn and I were able to find you.”
I gulped. My little brother had opened a portal… and all because he’d found his mate, the very person he was destined to be with.
“How do you want to carry me? I’m weak and heavy with my wings, brother,” I stated, and I was covered in bruises and cuts as well. I didn’t want the dirt of my skin to taint theirs.
“I can pass through it in my true form and carry both of you, don’t worry.
” Damien sounded far too confident; as a child, he hadn’t explored his powers enough.
He was too afraid of not being able to change back, or of hurting someone he loved.
That would be the only reason Damien and Gwendolyn hadn’t bonded yet.
He wanted her, but couldn’t assess the dangers of his powers.
He stepped on the stone ground, which was muddy and watery, as I felt his silver threads transforming and starting to wander around me.
I wasn’t even sure if Gwendolyn had noticed them, her sweet face still buried against my chest, her eyes closed, like she felt this moment between us just as surreal as me.
After his silver threads broke the chains around my feet and hands, I gripped Gwendolyn even tighter against me, breathing in her hair, her skin, every inch that Leanan had forbidden me to claim.
Although we hadn’t bonded physically yet, I felt every single emotion of hers.
The most dominant was the worry. I could feel her trembling through our connection.
“What happens to us if we go through it?” she asked, her voice small.
Damien gave her a half-smile which didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’ll cost me energy, love. But nothing compared to leaving Malakai and you trapped here.”
He stepped back, unbuttoning the collar of his shirt, while his eyes stayed fixed on her.
Beneath his skin, faint silver lines started shimmering. It was his ancient magic, the one his father had feared the most.
“It’s going to be all right. I’ll look into the portal first to see where it leads, and then I’ll come back to get both of you,” he said as his body began to shudder, his bones shifting, its sound still sensitive to my ears.
In a matter of seconds, my brother’s dragon form took over, his scales gleaming silver-blue.
I watched, almost breathless, as he pressed his claw against the ancient runes.
It had been so long since I saw Damien in his dragon form, and yet it was like nothing had changed.
The familiarity of my little brother’s powers made me feel like a part of my home had returned.
I gripped Gwendolyn even tighter in my arms as we both looked at Damien’s dragon shell.
And it was only possible because my brother and my love had done the impossible—they had found me.