Chapter 27
The moment we stepped through the wardrobe into Carnivalland, I felt Gwendolyn’s emotions shifting. It was the memories of my brother being trapped in that place.
And I’d wanted nothing more than to take her away from there, to carry her somewhere in my dragon form where she’d be safe.
But we all knew the little portal caused by our bond was only a blink of a moment compared to what awaited us outside.
The realization of what my brother had been through.
The person who did this to him, and the reasons why.
I took my brother to the room beside mine, to make sure I could keep an eye on him. I was aware that, as much as he hated his little brother taking care of him, it was what he needed in his current state of mind.
“I’m going to take a shower, Damien,” he stated. “I can do that by myself.” Without a glance back, he stepped into the bathroom, closing the door.
I knew he hated when too much attention was on him. Angels were so selfless, that anything which was too focused on their own needs made them feel almost ashamed of themselves. Not that he wasn’t familiar with that feeling.
I never hated my powers more than in the moment I’d found my brother.
The disgust in himself, the shame of what the evil person had done to him.
It was all there, heavy on my tongue. I’d wanted to vomit and rip the entire cave to shreds.
I could have lured her; I could have offered myself to Leanan.
I smelled her on him. The vampire scent, but not Xavier’s musky scent.
It was instead a smoky scent of black magic and corruption.
I would have loved to ambush her, rip out every single bone, and force her to drown herself.
But I couldn’t, not with Gwendolyn there.
Too consumed with all the rage inside me, I barely noticed that Malakai had stepped out of the bathroom, already dressed.
“Are you better? Can I bring you a drink?”
He shook his head, his gaze focused on the floor.
“I’m your brother, Malakai. Don’t shut me out.” It was a plea. It wasn’t the years passing between our last meet-up. It was the torture making him feel so small.
The venom tasted even more bitter on my tongue; I felt my nails starting to get tingly. It was a sign of shifting, like I wasn’t fully in control anymore.
“There are many things I won’t tell you, little brother. Not because I want to shut you out,” he stated, taking a seat on the bed. His gaze drifted around the room. It was the lightest in the castle. The bedding was white, and the windows were open.
I never wanted him to fear darkness would drown him ever again.
“I want to protect you,” he finished softly.
“You don’t protect me if you keep going through it in your mind alone. You aren’t a prisoner here anymore, Malakai.”
His gaze drifted upward. His eyes weren’t watery, but I knew he kept up a strong front to avoid breaking into tears.
“Gwendolyn found me… you found me.” The way he said it, like he couldn’t believe he was worth saving. And I knew it had to do with all sorts of manipulation and the mind games he’d gone through.
“You aren’t broken, Malakai. You are strong.”
“What makes you so sure?” he asked, his fingers brushing over his arms, over the scars. The visual signs of what he went through. And although some of the scars outside were deep, none of them were as deep as the scars on his soul.
“Because you are an angel. Mother knew you would be the strongest in our family. I might be blessed with the ability to transform into a dragon… but you… you are kind and selfless. Nothing beats the good.”
“Kindness is weakness,” he whispered slowly.
“That’s why she took me there. Because I had been kind to her.
She had no idea that I was bonded to Gwendolyn, my soul already bound to hers.
” His fingers started to caress the scars.
“And now she tainted me for her…” he added, starting to itch his scars.
I barely noticed how easily his skin started bleeding.
It was unusual for angels to bleed. What had she done to him?
“Stop, Malakai,” I said, taking his hands in mine. I closed my eyes and let my inner dragon take away his fears, drawing out his negative emotions. They tasted salty, like tears, and it didn’t exactly make me feel good. But I couldn’t bear to see my brother so full of self-loathing.
“Gwendolyn does not care about such things… she has missed you,” I said, stroking his hands with the aim to soothe him. “She found you first and sensed that you were hurt.”
“I am dirty,” he whispered, and a shiver ran down my spine as Malakai spoke so low of himself.
I shook my head. “No. Dirty is only the person who did this to you. Don’t let her win, Malakai.” I embraced my brother, feeling his tears running down. I knew he had tried for so long to be strong, and now he was finally away from all of it. His soul could breathe.
It was as if whatever was left inside him was finally able to let go.
I tried so hard to fulfill and realize his desire for deeper self-realization. He had to sleep. After a while, his eyes started to close. I tucked him into his bed, pressing a kiss to his forehead. The same way he had when I was a young child, asking why my father seemed to hate me.
A few minutes passed before I left his room. I wanted to make sure he was sleeping soundly. I was too afraid to leave him alone. Neither I nor Gwendolyn would be able to handle it if he hurt himself.
And not Xavier either. Even though he always seemed very distant, he was the one who knew the most about his mother’s cruelties. He didn’t talk about it often, but I knew his childhood hadn’t been rosy. While his mother hurt him, his father looked away.
My body was too restless. I couldn’t sleep. I had to check on Gwendolyn.
As my gaze wandered across the room, I didn’t see either of them. But then I noticed that the door to the balcony was open. Gwendolyn was half-asleep, laying on Xavier’s lap, as he stroked her back in soft circles.
His heartbeat was so fast. Was he scared?
“Are you okay?” I asked, unsure, as his fast heartbeat spoke volumes.
“When you went with Malakai to your room,” Xavier muttered. “She had a panic attack.”
I gulped. I knew Xavier wasn’t the best with panic attacks, as he had them so often himself during his childhood, and no one could help him.
“Malakai was also very stressed… I made him fall asleep.”
Xavier’s eyes drifted toward the Ancient Springs. “Who could have believed… that he was trapped inside a cave there for all of these years. And no one noticed.”
My gaze followed Xavier’s, wondering if it had been Malakai trapped there that made me feel so connected to the Ancient Springs. I’d always assumed it had been the sacred water making my inner dragon calm down, but maybe it had been the closeness to my brother all along. And I never realized.
“I’m afraid, Xavier,” I confessed, looking at Gwendolyn’s sleeping form on his lap, then back at him. “Whatever he had been forced to endure in that cave… what if it can’t be healed? Not even if he bonds with Gwendolyn.”
“I’m sure you’re underestimating the bond they share… after all, she sensed him, despite being a human.”
And I knew Xavier was right. Not even my dragon-powers were able to feel him. I had been there so often, alone. It was almost like the kiss, the physical contact with her skin caused my powers to fully awaken.
Xavier caressed the strands of her hair softly, pressing kisses against her skin.
“As soon as you left with him, her body froze, and she started feeling nauseous.”
My gaze wandered over to her, and the way her chest slowly rose and fell.
“To see her like that, it made me realize how much Leanan has really destroyed. It isn’t just Malakai, but her as well. And that’s why I can’t fathom how hard it will be for her to listen to what he must have gone through.”
He was right, and yet I wouldn’t let Malakai carry these dark thoughts in his head by himself. I’d force him to speak at some point.
“What will you do now? Now, you know your mother is the cause of this.”
“I’ll kill her.” The way Xavier said it was just so casual, like he had murdered before.
But he hadn’t. The only one of us who had killed before was me.
It was when I was a child, not knowing the extent of my own powers, that I had first shifted into a dragon and my claws dug into one of my father’s soldiers. He bled to death on the ground.
I knew that by that point, not only had my powers increased, but my father would have imprisoned me if he had found out about it.
It was my brother Malakai who took the punishment.
He said that he had provoked me and that I had no other way to defend myself.
So, Malakai said, to prevent himself from getting hurt through my powers, he put the soldier between us.
My mother was there when Malakai lied. Anyone who knew my brother even remotely knew that he would never have been so selfish.
But in all the years that Malakai had been living with us in Aetrum, they had perhaps exchanged only a few sentences.
Dandelion always said he was my mother’s son, not his.
As if he had ever acknowledged me as his son.
“But you shouldn’t distance yourself from her now, not after she finally understands the bond,” Xavier said.
“Just because you are afraid of your powers.” It was as if he read my thoughts.
There had been so much despair and turmoil inside me, all of it caused by the revelation of the nightmare bringer.
Although I was sure it wasn’t me they were talking about, my dad still viewed me as a threat, fearing my powers would get too strong—strong enough to cause destruction in our world.
Now, after my kiss with Gwendolyn, I created a portal—an entrance into another dimension. And she changed this portal through her own imagination with a single kiss.
What would happen if we were to truly bond?
To what extent would my powers grow, and what if it hurt her?