29. Chapter 29
Two Years Later
N az pushed the door closed behind him. He concentrated, his heart thumping. “I’m home!” he called.
The slap of feet hurried toward him. Meg squealed and threw herself into his arms.
He staggered back against the door, loving the way she kissed all over his face. He was addicted to her kisses, even though it was still a struggle for him to kiss her in return.
“Welcome home, Ignacio,” she whispered. “I missed you.” Her lips brushed against his ear, the one missing the bottom half. She said she liked that one better; it made her think about how much he loved her.
“Missed you,” he said back.
Ramiro had gone legitimate once he’d taken out the cartel, and he’d hired Naz out to clients who needed personal security, but only during the day. Naz kept his nights off. His favorite time was when he and Meg wrapped around each other to sleep.
He carried Meg deeper into the house, enjoying the way she snuggled against his neck. Meg needed touch, and he loved to give it to her. He sank onto the couch with her on his lap. She wore one of his shirts and nothing else. His finger stroked over the birthmark on her ass.
“Tell me about your day,” Meg said, resting against him.
Naz did, his words a little halting as he figured out what he wanted to say and focused on each syllable as he went. It had gotten easier the more he did it, but it would never be easy. Certain words felt almost natural. Her name was always on his lips, coming out without any thought at all.
Meg asked questions sometimes to keep him talking, but she mainly listened. He’d accepted that she really did like the sound of his voice, even if it still sounded wrong to him.
Her heart beat steadily against his as he continued to hold her after he’d run out of things to say.
Meg eventually kissed his neck and pulled away. “I’ll work on dinner.”
She talked about her day while moving around the kitchen. She was studying to take her GED, and all the math annoyed her. History was boring, but science was interesting. The GED had been Ramiro’s idea. He’d been encouraging her to take some college courses after, though she made a face whenever Ramiro brought it up.
Meg put Naz’s food in his favorite thermos. It had become easier to eat, and Meg found ways to add variety. He listened to her talk about science, some table she had to memorize, and he liked the way her excitement grew as she spoke. She was fascinated by the universe today, which elements were around most.
It made him remember when she’d asked him about aliens.
Meg giggled, his favorite sound in the world. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about aliens again.”
Naz liked how she could read his mind. Even though speaking had become easier, there was something soothing about not needing words with her.
More than speaking and eating had become easier for Naz because of Meg. He made love to her often. If he focused on her first, he became hard before he could worry about it, and there was peace in knowing he’d made her feel good no matter what happened after. His erections didn’t always last. He’d never be completely healed. Mental scabs peeled back at odd moments, stealing his desire for her. Meg never blamed him for it. She told him how much she loved him instead.
When they were getting ready for bed, he emptied his pockets on the dresser. He rolled a small giraffe between his fingers. It wasn’t the first one he’d gotten out of a quarter machine. They’d left that behind the night the cartel had come for them.
His eyes met Meg’s in the mirror. She’d already crawled into bed, still wearing his shirt. Her soft, genuine smile slid over his skin.
His giraffe looked good when he placed it next to hers. They’d bought them together, and Meg carried hers whenever she wore something with pockets. The small figures were cuter than that cheap one, with the long necks that Meg loved.
His phone vibrated on the dresser. The background when the screen lit up was still a picture of their first kiss. They had many other pictures together now, but he hadn’t wanted to change it.
Ramiro’s text was simple. ‘It’s done.’
Naz carried it over to where Meg waited, turning the phone.
As her eyes stared at the screen, time stretched. “Oh,” was all she said before turning away to pull down the sheets.
Her face looked so blank. Naz set down the phone, hurrying to remove his clothes and pulling on a pair of sleep shorts. He still preferred not to sleep naked.
As soon as the bed dipped beneath him, Meg rolled into his body, wrapping herself around him. He pulled her in close, burying his nose in her hair as she found her place against his neck.
His skin there grew damp, and he pulled her in a little tighter.
“Meg?”
She continued to cry silently, and he worried he’d done the wrong thing.
Meg opened up most at night. Whenever memories pressed in on her, instead of keeping them buried, she told him about them. She’d encouraged Naz to do the same, and she knew more about why he was the way he was now, but he’d stopped soon after trying, and she understood. Naz felt worse talking about it. He’d had his first episode in over a year because he’d talked about it, though the episode was different. He lost time, but he didn’t come back to find bodies he’d created.
The monsters in his head remained mostly silent in recent days.
Meg’s monsters still haunted her. Especially her father.
Naz had offered a suggestion, but he never wanted to force her. A week ago, she’d told him she was ready.
Ramiro still had connections. A hit inside a prison wouldn’t take much.
“Meg?” he asked again. He worried he’d made things worse for her.
“Is he sure?” Meg asked.
She pulled away from him, and Naz’s fingers stroked over her face, wanting to erase her tears.
Naz nodded. Ramiro wouldn’t have texted if he wasn’t sure.
Her hands found Naz’s hair. He’d grown it out, and the curls covered most of his damaged ear. He’d thought he’d hate it, but Meg loved to run her fingers through the curls. She never grabbed at it, and Naz felt like he’d returned a piece of himself. Some memories of his father had become sharper lately.
“It doesn’t seem real.” Meg bit her lip. “I wanted my father dead so badly. Tell me again.”
“He’s…dead.” The words were harder because her continued tears made his throat tight.
Meg surged into his arms. She squeezed around him almost too tightly, but he’d never complain. Her breath shuddered against his neck.
“He can’t hurt me,” Meg mumbled, her body relaxing. “I didn’t know it’d feel like this. Hold me tighter. I feel like I could float away.”
Naz could never get her close enough.
“Thank you, Naz. I love you.”
“Love you,” Naz said, nuzzling against her hair.
He knew he made her world better just by being in it.
She did the same for him. Meg was everything to him. He’d absorbed so many precious moments with her, but it would never be enough. He needed a million more, and he’d cherish every one.