Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
A s she turned, Lila caught sight of herself in the mirror above the chest of drawers. The carved and gilded frame was serenely elegant; she was not. The mussed hair and reddened lips screamed guilt. Reflexively, she pressed her palms to her cheeks to cool them. That made her look like a panicked maiden in a silent movie. She jerked her hands away in disgust.
Beside her, Rafe tugged his shirt into place and picked up the remaining linens, barely stifling an amused smirk. Lila refused to return his sidelong glance.
Ademar entered, this time leaning on a cane of polished black wood wrapped in silver filigree. It had the ivy and acorn pattern from their family coat of arms and looked new.
“There you are,” her brother said, glancing from her to Rafe and back. “I find you together again.”
“You and Mother agreed he would be my servant,” she replied. “Where did you get that cane?”
“A gift,” he replied. “Lord Farras sent something for you as well. He’s most generous.”
She barely stopped herself from saying she didn’t want it. Provoking Ademar would do no good—not when he’d nearly caught her kissing the shifter who’d torn him open. A flutter of guilt rose, but then it faded under her brother’s hard stare.
She redirected the conversation instead. “So, you’ve been in communication with Lord Farras?”
He gave her a dry look. “You do recall the project I’m working on? Melding cellular communications with crystal magic?”
“So it’s working?”
He shrugged.
Ademar continued to look between her and Rafe, visibly pondering the tension between his sister and her servant. Clearly, he didn’t like what he saw even though Rafe had retreated several paces so that he stood a respectful distance away. She knew her brother well enough to feel his accusation like a tangible thing, even if he didn’t say a word.
Wolf and fae didn’t mix. Or at least shouldn’t, according to fae standards. If it ever reached Lord Farras that Galeeta’s daughter consorted with beasts—well, as the humans put it, he’d lose their number. Any chance of saving her father would be gone.
That was unthinkable. Despite all, she loved her family. In the end, they would always put each other first. That was as true as the green of forest leaves. Or it had been. Now she wasn’t certain.
Ademar advanced into the room, shutting the door behind him. He shouldered Lila aside as he pushed forward, leaning heavily on his fancy walking stick.
“So, what have you actually done in here?” he asked, flicking the edge of the coverlet with the tip of his cane. “It looks the same as before.”
That was not true. It could not be true for anyone with fae senses, for her presence was imprinted on everything she had touched. The most sensitive could detect the quality of her mood as she’d done each task—which was not a comforting thought.
Lila gave an airy wave. “I have provided clean linens and fresh flowers. What more does Lord Farras need? He can’t be staying for long. ”
Ademar’s jaw stiffened. “He deserves whatever courtesy we can provide.”
“I chose the nicest room.”
It was true. Morning sun flooded the forest outside, falling in gilded shafts through the leaves. The room itself seemed an oasis of tranquility. One might never guess there was a dungeon beneath their feet.
Her brother scanned the room, as if verifying her statement. “It is pleasant enough, but I don’t see why you required the dog to help you fluff a few pillows.”
Her temper stirred. “He is my servant to do with as I please.”
His frown deepened. “You didn’t keep him alive just because he can fold a fitted sheet.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Only demons can do that.”
His reply was a wordless noise of disgust. Lila could feel his foul mood like a dank mist. The cause went beyond Rafe’s presence. It was woven with something else—frustration, jealousy, or something she couldn’t even put a name to.
“Why do you want me to feel guilty?” she asked. “What good does that do?”
“Maybe you should,” he replied softly. “You know the answer to that better than I do.”
The words were almost neutral, but his tone was not. Rafe set down the stack of linens and stepped between them, making a protective wall. Ademar took an awkward step back, cursing as he stumbled on his injured leg. He was afraid, and she didn’t blame him. Rafe might wear a human face, but a predator liked to finish his kill.
Lila gently pushed Rafe aside. He moved but didn’t shift his gaze away from Ademar. The two kept each other in a clear line of sight, even as they put distance between them.
“Stop glowering, both of you,” she said.
Ademar twisted the handle of his walking stick to reveal a thin rapier hid inside the silver and ebony case. “It’s time your beast went back to his kennel.”
Rafe picked up a stool in one hand, clearly ready to use it like a shield—or a club. He was taller and heavier than her brother, and his temper filled the room like a crackling wave. Lila’s pulse quickened. It was impossible not to respond—he was defending her, after all—but someone had to take control.
“I just finished this room,” she said, putting a snap in her voice. “Stand down before there’s property damage. I don’t have time for this nonsense.”
Neither male looked happy, but Ademar put away his blade with a swish of metal. Rafe set down the stool and edged closer to Lila with a protective loom. Her brother watched them both with clear dislike.
“I don’t like this side of you, Ademar,” she said, voice husky with tension. “It’s all I’ve seen since I came here.”
Ademar’s lip curled. “And all I’ve seen is someone who isn’t sure where she belongs.”
Lila drew breath to reply, but then swallowed down her retort. It would just start the fight all over again.
“Control your pet before I do it for you,” Ademar said coldly.
“Don’t,” she said. Don’t threaten. Don’t bully. Just don’t.
Her brother shifted his weight onto his good foot. “Say that again.”
She swallowed hard and forced herself to say the words Ademar wanted. “Please spare him.”
Rafe stirred beside her, his anger almost crackling against her skin. Yet, he wisely said nothing. For all his supposed beastliness, he had better self-control than the fae in the room.
Ademar’s gaze slid to Rafe, his loathing plain. The wolf had wounded his pride as well as his flesh and bone, but the damage went even deeper than that. It had left him afraid, and not just of wolves. Lila could taste it like ash in the air.
“I hope you realize that my sister is all that’s between you and my blade,” Ademar said in silky tones. “A single misstep would end badly for both of you, but especially her. The fae hold their own to high standards.”
Rafe’s expression burned with fury, but he bowed his head in wordless acknowledgment. Her brother opened the door, allowing the sound of bustling movement to seep into the room. Lila ignored the commotion, too choked with anger to allow for distraction.
“How dare you speak that way?” she breathed.
“I dare, and I do,” Ademar replied, leaning into the corridor as he snapped his fingers.
Two fae wearing plain gray livery appeared in the doorway at once and stood stiffly, awaiting Ademar’s orders. They were light fae, but Lila did not recognize them.
“Who are they?” she asked, thinking they looked like a pair of puppets.
“Members of Lord Farras’s advance guard,” Ademar replied. “They got here an hour ago to ensure everything was ready for his arrival.”
“Oh.” For an instant, she was acutely aware of Rafe’s warmth beside her and longed to burrow into it.
Ademar turned to the two servants. “Return the shifter to his cell. One of my mother’s creatures will show you the way.”
Lila looked up at Rafe, unwilling to let Ademar give the order. Rafe’s handsome features were carefully schooled, but his warm hand squeezed hers before he followed his escort from the room. She watched him go with a bitter taste at the back of her throat. As soon as they’d left, Ademar swung the door shut again.
“You’re sulking,” he said.
She swung around. “And you’re acting like a petty despot.”
“My apologies, sister.” He didn’t sound as if he meant it in the least. “And now it’s time to end your housekeeping duties and prepare yourself for Lord Farras’s arrival. He will get here tonight in time for the banquet. It’s important that we make a good impression.”
“And I am to provide a decorative function?” she asked with deceptive mildness.
“Mother has organized a selection of gowns for you to choose from,” Ademar went on with a smile. “He hasn’t seen you for years and will be pleased by what a beauty you’ve become.”
Several thoughts collided, none of them pleasant and all of them making her feel trapped. The way station had no wardrobes of clothes as it did cupboards of sheets and towels, so where had the dresses come from? And why did Ademar look so full of himself? Once upon a time, her family had dangled her in front of Farras to win his favor, but that was long ago and it had come to nothing. She intended it to stay that way.
“No,” she replied.
“No?” He raised a brow. “To what, specifically?”
“No to all of it. I decorated the hall and chose a menu. I made up his lordship’s room. If you want, I’ll leave a mint on his pillow. But that is where custom ends, and I’m not obligated to do more. I’m done now, and I’m going home.”
Ademar caught her elbow, his grip gentle but firm. “Most would be delighted to sit beside a powerful lord and ensure that he enjoys himself. Could you not be a normal lady of the court just this once?”
“I think not,” Lila said, her voice cracking with emotions she’d held back for too long. “Since I’ve arrived here, I’ve seen Captain Teegar of the King’s Guard—a lord himself—bespelled and imprisoned. I’ve seen strangers attacked and tortured for trying to find their kin. There are graves in the woods no one cares to explain, and despite the fact Rafe is innocent of any crime, he is still a prisoner.”
Ademar studied her face but said nothing. His hand dropped from her elbow with an air of defeat.
“This is fae politics,” Lila continued. “I hate it, and I moved away so that I didn’t have to deal with it. That decision stands. I refuse to play the game.”
“What about Father?” Ademar asked.
Guilt tugged at her like a strong current, threatening to pull her from her feet. “I want to help. I would shed blood to free him, but I have no confidence anything I do would make a difference.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I, and that’s the problem. I’ve been patient. I’ve held my tongue about whatever you and Mother are up to, hoping you’d tell me everything in good time, but that time has run out.” She took a deep, shaking breath. “No one is giving me the complete truth. With so many unanswered questions, how am I supposed to make a real choice? There is asking for my help, and then there is entrapment. I won’t be coerced.”
“Listen.” With sudden ferocity, Ademar pushed her.
“Ademar!” She stumbled backward, too surprised to react.
“ Listen. ” He shoved her again.
Lila fell into a sitting position on the bed. He towered over her, the walking stick clutched in both hands. His mouth pinched into a hard line, betraying his anxiety.
“What are you doing?” she demanded, her voice husky with outrage.
“You need to wake up before it’s too late.” His knuckles whitened where he gripped the cane, as if clutching it was all that kept his temper in check. “You want the truth. Here it is. Lord Farras has all the cards. We’re in no position to deny him anything. If you have to sit and simper at him tonight, you will do so.”
Lila gulped back bile. She felt as if the floor had suddenly opened and she was falling down, down into an inky pit. “I don’t belong to him. Or you. Or Mother.”
“Father ended your betrothal because you were too young. Now you’re grown and Father is not here. ”
Her heart pounded, making it difficult to hear. “That doesn’t change anything.”
She sprang from the bed, dodging around her brother to lunge for the door. As she swept past the bureau, a porcelain vase went smashing to the floor. The explosion of shards stopped her in her tracks, leaving her to stare at the jagged pieces scattered over the floor.
“Calm down, Lila,” Ademar said softly. “We’re putting on a good show for Lord Farras, that’s all.”
“You’re asking me to tempt him until he gives you what you want,” she said, her mind racing so hard her thoughts were almost blank. There was too much to re-evaluate all at once. “If Farras takes your bait, you can’t take it back. You can’t take me back.”
Ademar was silent. Her throat ached with tears, but she refused to let them fall.
“I thought you loved me enough to protect me,” she said. “I thought Mother did, and Sala. We were different people, but we were family. I could trust you.”
Her brother still said nothing.
Nausea rolled through her like a foul tide. “But Sala was part of this, wasn’t she? She asked me to come here to make sure you were all right. And I came, Ademar. I came for her and for you.”
Ademar looked at the door, as if expecting someone to enter. Or maybe he couldn’t meet her eyes. “She didn’t have a choice.”
Lila bent and began picking up the tiny shards. It was habit. If she left them, someone might be hurt. “Do you have a choice?”
Leaning on his walking stick, he turned to watch her. “Don’t cut yourself.”
She caught and held his gaze. “Do you have a choice? Would you save me if you could?”
His mouth worked for a moment. “What do you think?”
He flung himself toward the door, stumbling in his haste. He grabbed at the handle, rattling the knob as he got the door open. For a long moment, he stood suspended on the threshold, as if he had more to say. But with a sigh, he staggered forward and slammed the door behind him.
Lila jumped at the sound, slicing open her palm so that blood ran into the fine creases of her hand. The crimson transfixed her as it spread like liquid fire. Noble blood. Blood kin. Magical bloodline. Is that all that matters? What about who I am?
With a fit of sudden disgust, she tossed the shards to the floor. One of his lordship’s servants could sweep up the mess, blood and all. She wasn’t going to be Farras’s arm candy or his chambermaid. More to the point, she wasn’t about to hand her future to someone selfish enough to take it.
If she didn’t have a choice, she’d make one.