- TWENTY #2
"There's plenty more," I said, waving toward them, giving them what I hoped was a sweet smile. "Just because you're working doesn't mean you can't eat, right?"
With that, the dumb creatures they were, they shrugged and went for the food.
Beside me, I heard Jet chuckle slightly.
I forced down my mushroom with a sour feeling in my stomach.
"Knock it off," Jet mumbled as I watched the redcaps gorge themselves.
"Your will to survive needs to be stronger than your moral compass if you're going to get through what is to come in the next couple of years," he warned and my chest seemed to deflate because I felt the truth in those words.
"I can't burn you," I whispered as I watched one of the redcaps start to rub his stomach, his brows knitted.
"You don't have a choice. From what I hear, your first venture into The Green wasn't exactly all sprite hair washes and nymph loving.
Your friend was brutalized in the work camps, was she not?
And your... boyfriend was tortured by his father as well, correct?
" he asked, his voice dismissive and the tone alone was making my hands warm.
"There you go," he said as the redcaps dropped to their knees, moaning.
"Where am I supposed to burn you?"
"Neck is probably smartest. It will look like you meant business but likely won't kill me.
What did you do!" he suddenly roared at me, making me take a step back, my shoulders slamming into a tree hard enough to knock my breath out.
The redcaps attention was on us as they turned a violent shade of red in their faces, their painful groans making my own stomach twist. But as Jet advanced me, I didn't have anger.
What came over me was sadness instead. He shoved me hard in the shoulders, his eyes pleading with me to get angry as he screamed.
"Everything you love," he said, drawing my attention.
"Like that puny empath of yours. I'd like nothing better than to melt down some iron and slowly lower him into a bath of... "
Yeah, well, let's just say Jasper was a trigger point for me.
My hand sparked to life as the image of what iron had done to his wrists and, stomach upside down and heart in my throat, I reached out toward Jet's neck and pressed in.
His roar of pain made my chest compress, made tears fill my eyes.
He saw them too, which I would have found worse if maybe his didn't show how much he understood.
I held on until he hit his knees then looked up at the sky and ran.
The tears blurred my vision, but I couldn't get them to stop as I furiously tried to blink them away, feeling more and more hopeless by the minute.
I didn't want to be part of their world anymore.
It didn't matter that it was technically my world as well, I just didn't want it.
All it seemed to be filled with was ugly, brutal, conniving, and selfish creatures.
But what choice did I have? If I left The Green, I was unprotected.
I knew Cass wouldn't come to me with intention to put me back in my room with a slap on the wrist for being a bad girl.
If he found me again, I would learn really fast how he drove my mother crazy.
So I had no choice. I needed to stay in The Green.
I needed to swallow the bile and blink back the tears and find a way to get through it.
Jet's words flashed into my head then and I realized he was right.
My will to survive needed to be stronger.
I needed to stop seeing things through my human eyes, my human conditioning.
The rules of the human realm didn't apply in The Green.
I needed to toughen up. I needed to do whatever it took to have me and mine come out unscathed.
If that meant begging the Light for asylum, that was exactly what I would do.
I would swallow my pride and figure out how the hell to get into the Court without being invited.
--
My hands curled into fists down at my sides, my hair a tangled mess, my stomach twisted in knots, and my spine set to steel, I was sure I was ready for everything. Literally anything.
Except maybe a welcome fucking party.
Yes, party. There were streamers and everything.
I stopped short outside the giant white brick wall, the gates left open like an invitation, striking me as odd. But I swallowed the discomfort and moved inside. That's when I saw the streamers and the signs and the freaking buffet table.
All eyes were on me, expectant, excited, and I never felt more freaked out in my life.
If there was one thing I had learned from documentaries it was that happy, smiling people with long white clothes and uncut hair...
yeah, they were cult psychos. A part of me felt more comfortable in Cass' castle surrounded by redcaps than I did standing in the courtyard of the Light Court.
"Took you long enough," a familiar voice said, making my heart fly up into my throat as I looked around wildly to find him. Then there he was, walking down the center of the courtyard, his arm cocked with an older, composed woman with deep brown eyes and white hair holding onto him.
"Jasper?" I asked, feeling my legs suddenly get weak.
"Yes, I was just getting to know your young man here," the woman said, patting his arm and smiling at him. He looked over at her with a smile as well.
"What is going on here? Is there some Kool-aid around that I should be aware of?" I asked, eyes bugging at Jasper who let out a chuckle that rumbled through my body.
"Funny thing happened when I followed you and Cass back into The Green..."
"I told you not to come!" I snapped, immediately exasperated. What can I say? He had that effect on me.
"Yeah, that was gonna happen," he snorted, shaking his head.
"Anyway... my father was waiting for me," he said and I felt myself stiffen, dread filling me as my eyes scanned him wildly, looking for signs of injury.
"Long story, but the result is the same.
He told me to come here, that your father was Cass, but that your mother was... "
"Dany," I said with a nod. "I also have a brother named Jet," I said, my voice catching on his name, the memory of his screams piercing through my head.
"Jet is recovering just fine under the watchful eye of a Dark healer," the woman said, her voice having a calming effect on me. "My name is Ang, dear, I am your grandmother."
"And the Seelie queen," Jasper added with an emphasis I wasn't sure I understood. What? Was I supposed to freaking curtsy or something?
"What is Ang short for?" I found myself asking without thinking.
"Angelite," she answered without missing a beat.
"Angelite," I felt myself laugh a little, all my lessons in my little train car coming back to me, feeling time-fuzzy despite it only being days since I was trapped inside it.
"Celestine, Angelite... do I have a cousin named Larimar?
" I asked, letting out a strange laugh that didn't feel natural.
"I mean if we are going for the angel theme, that would only be fitting, right? "
"Honey, what's..."
"It's okay," Ang said, releasing Jasper and holding up a hand. "She's tired. She's been through a lot. Have you eaten, dear?" she asked, moving toward me, but not touching me, a small courtesy I really appreciated at that point.
"No," I said, despite my pockets still being full of nuts I had gathered with my brother. Anytime I thought about eating, the last image of the redcaps flashed into my head, bent forward, throwing up violently, a fair amount of blood mixed with the puke.
"Hey," Jasper said, moving toward me, reaching for my wrists. "It's okay. It's over."
Except it wasn't. Jet had been very emphatic about saying a specific word. I turned back to Ang who was watching me with a maternal little smile, looking very much like she was drinking me in, like I was a sight for sore eyes. "I need asylum," I said, the words a little weird on my tongue.
"Of course you may have asylum, dear," she said, waving it away.
"Now why don't you let your man here take care of you for a while?
You can come see me whenever you are ready.
" She patted my cheek and I felt insecure about the build-up of dirt and sweat there, before moving away, impossibly graceful even in her age.
"Jasper..." I whispered, shaking my head, not sure if I could even begin to understand what was going on after three days of running, running as fast as my legs could carry me, more paranoid than I had ever been before.
I clutched jasper in my fist and jumped at every flight of a bird or chirp of a cricket.
I didn't let the sprites wash my hair when I stopped to drink.
I didn't eat anything. I didn't sleep. And, once, when I thought I caught the backside of some big furry animal, I jabbed my fingers in my ears and hummed as loud as I could as I took off at a dead run.
My brain was running on fear and little else.