Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Watching Shattered Horizons’ perform their sound check, my chest aches. Leaving Orbital Somatic is the right choice, but I’m going to miss performing.
I dedicated so many years to the stage; it feels like this is the first time I’m trying to build a life off it.
When their show starts, I stand with Skye in the wings. She’s stunning in a floral sundress that hugs her waist and breasts, highlighting the soft curves of her body. The dangerously high white heels she’s wearing add a few inches to her height, but she still only reaches the middle of my head.
She cheers when Sterling greets the crowd, as excited as the fans shouting at the front of the stage.
His voice isn’t deep like mine, but it has a raspy quality that makes his screams edgy.
Ripped red jeans make him seem taller, which is insane when he’s already taller than my six foot three. The band shirt he’s wearing hugs his torso, highlighting the lean muscle in his body, and I find myself unable to look away as he moves around the stage, singing and vibing with the others.
Arousal hits me like a tidal wave, nearly knocking my legs from beneath me as blood rushes to my dick. I find Skye’s teeth dug into her lip and her cheeks flushed.
Swallowing thickly, I scan the backstage area for Quentin, hoping he can help with this situation, but when I find him talking to a member of the road crew, his lips pinched tight, I remember what he told me yesterday about not feeling arousal the same as others.
Shaking my head, I study Skye’s face. She bites back a whimper, her thighs pressing together and pinching the material of her dress. Perfume leaks from her, thick and heady. If it swells too much and reaches the crowd, we could have a riot on our hands.
Glancing onto the stage, I find Onyx’s eyes locked on us. He gives Skye a pointed look, one I take as permission to help her.
I hope that’s what he’s saying, otherwise I might get my ass kicked later.
Pulling my Omega to my chest, I wrap one arm around her waist to lock her in place, and lean down to brush my lips against her ear. “You’re perfuming, bunny. Do you want me to take you to the green room?”
Her head shakes, pleading eyes flickering up to mine. The jade-green orbs are so dark, her pupils swallowing the gold that rings their center.
“Do you want me to help you? Sink my fingers into your needy little pussy and get you off while you watch your mates finish their set?”
“Please,” she whines, grinding back against me. I groan, burying the noise in her hair.
To get to touch her again after so long…
I could come just imagining it.
“Okay, but you have to be quiet. You can’t sing your release for the whole venue to hear.”
She nods, head falling back to rest against my shoulder. I bunch her dress against me, careful to keep my body positioned so no one will see what I’m doing to her.
The first glide of my fingers up the inside of her thigh makes my dick twitch in my jeans. She’s soaked. Slick leaking from the pair of scent-canceling underwear she’s wearing.
I can feel the beat rattling through my body as I pull Skye’s underwear aside and glide a finger between her folds. Circling her clit with my thumb, I push two fingers into her core, eyes slamming closed when I feel the exquisite pressure of her clamping down on them.
I wish it was my dick. That I could bend her over one of those speakers and sink deep inside her, reuniting us on a primal level.
“Caleb,” she moans, hands gripping the arm locked around her waist.
“I’ve got you, bunny. I’ll give you what you need.”
Pressing firmly on her clit, I pump my fingers in and out of her, hoping the music drowns out the squelching. She’s shaking, breaths coming in short bursts as she bites back alluring sounds.
“Come for me, Skye. Let me feel you fall apart in my arms one more time.”
“Not one,” she pants, nails digging into my skin. Her muscles tense, walls locking down on my fingers as she tips over the edge. “Forever. You’ll feel me forever.”
My lips find hers, devouring her promise, and the keen trapped behind it. I can feel the racing of our hearts, so in sync, it’s unnerving.
Feeling her come is a gift.
One I still don’t feel like I deserve.
“Feeling better?” I ask as I slip my fingers from her pussy and wipe her release on the inside of her dress.
She sighs, still leaning against me as she catches her breath. “I feel perfect.”
We dance and sing along with the rest of the guy’s performance, getting lost in the music and each other.
The way it was always meant to be.
After the show, Skye changes into a clean outfit Quentin had on hand. His preparedness is admirable, and I’m glad she has him as an Alpha. He thinks ahead and plans for the moments she feels uncomfortable, like when her underwear and dress are soaked cum.
“I’m starving,” she admits, looping her arm through Bellamy’s and Emmett’s as we head to the parking lot. “Can we get something to eat?”
“Diner food?” Bellamy suggests, his eyes sparkling. He’s full of energy; his legs bouncing each time he tries to sit down. Which only lasts a few seconds before he’s up and moving again. “I could devour a hundred milkshakes.”
Skye’s tinkling laughter fills the air, her head tosses back, highlighting the curve of her throat.
Beneath the venue lights, the silvery scars where her mate bonds shimmer, and a bolt of longing hits me in the chest. It’s too soon for that.
I still need to find my place in her pack and earn a second chance in her life.
“You’ll swell up like a balloon if you drink a hundred milkshakes, Bee.”
He waves his hand in the air, pushing his sweaty blonde hair away from his face. “Would be worth it.”
“Diner food is fine,” Onyx interjects as we reach their SUV. He opens the back door and points to Bellamy, his eyes narrowed. “Two milkshakes, max. No one wants to be cleaning your throw-up out of the car.”
When Bellamy pouts, grumbling about fairness beneath his breath as he climbs in beside Skye, Onyx slaps his ass. The clap is loud, but the Beta’s sharp inhale is louder.
Did he just whimper?
Wait, no, I don’t want to know.
Do I?
Rubbing my eyes with my palms, I empty my mind and enjoy the ride to the diner. I’m still turned on from getting Skye off earlier. Food will distract me until we get back and I can take care of myself in the shower.
Layney’s is your basic corner diner, with black and white checker floors and brightly colored booths. The scent of fried food and salt fill the air.
We cram into a large corner booth, and I spend the night listening as they talk, sharing stories from their lives together. The one I wasn’t a part of.
I’m still standing on the outside, looking in.
The thought clings to me as we enjoy our food and make the long trek back to Starburgh. I have no history with them. No foundation to build upon. The bridge I’m trying to cross to join them is slippery, and one wrong step could send me crashing into the misery that awaits below.
“So, dude, you game?” Bellamy asks, bumping into me on the way into their house. A spark flickers between us, and I’m surprised when it dims the all-consuming feeling of loneliness I was drowning in.
“On occasion. Mostly action RPGs. You?”
He walks backward through the foyer, his arms raised and locked behind his head. My dick twitches in my jeans at the sliver of stomach revealed when his shirt rides up, revealing soft blonde curls that disappear beneath his jeans.
“We play a mix of everything. Sports, FPSs, cozy games. Wanna chill and play something?”
I peek at Skye, checking what her plans are, when Emmett interjects. “Or we could play a proper game.”
Bellamy perks up, his eyes full of excitement, like a puppy. “Monopoly?”
“No.” All his packmates answer with varying degrees of exasperation. His lip purse, and he shrugs..
Arms wind around my sides, the soft florals of Skye filling my nose as she hugs me. “Someone gets too intense during the game. Pulling out the rulebook every five minutes and flipping the table if he goes bankrupt.”
Chuckling, I peek at Bellamy, who shrugs and doesn’t deny what she said.
“He’s a brat,” Sterling adds, wrapping an arm around his Beta mate’s shoulder and pulling him into a headlock. They wrestle across the family room, grunting and teasing. Reaching the large beanbag gaming chairs, they collapse onto one, lips fused together.
Annnd I’m hard again.
Is that what being here will be like?
Constantly being turned on because Skye is?
Glancing down, I find her eyes closed and her body limp against mine. Is she… asleep?
“Here,” Quentin scoops her into his arms. “I’ll put her to bed. You can join us whenever you’re ready.”
“Ah, she never said…” I rub the back of my neck awkwardly, wanting to spend the night with her in my arms, but unsure if she wants me there when she didn’t explicitly ask for me.
Jolting from the hand that claps down on my shoulder, I find Onyx standing beside me. His stony expression narrows, and I turn away.
“She wants you there.”
“Onyx is correct,” Quentin tells me. “She will be thrilled to wake up next to you.”
“She needs you,” Emmett adds.
Quentin frowns, meeting Onyx’s eyes behind me. They silently communicate, and the brown-haired Alpha nods before taking Skye upstairs.
“Let’s chat,” Onyx rumbles, steering me to their way-too-comfortable couch. The others join us, their expressions as serious as their pack leader’s.
The tension in the air is oppressive, making it hard to breathe as I sit, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants to hide my nervousness.
“Skye has bond sickness.” Onyx speaks bluntly, the words settling between like an anvil.
I’m missing something.
Bond sickness occurs when bonded mates are forced apart for an extended period. It is extremely dangerous, causing both mates to experience physical and mental side effects. Only closeness and their partner’s scent can cure it.
“What?”
Emmett shakes his head, giving Onyx a bland look. “She doesn’t have bond sickness specifically, but something bond sickness-adjacent. It occurs when one meets their Fate-matched mate, forms the beginning of a bond, and is then separated from them.”
My brain sluggishly churns over his words. She’s sick because she met one of her Fate-matched mates and then they left—Wait, are they saying she is sick because of… me? That leaving eight years ago has physically harmed her?
I can feel the blood draining from my face, nausea churning in my stomach, as Emmett continues, oblivious to the hole he’s gouged in my heart.
Skye is sick.
Because of me.
I hurt her.
Have been hurting her since I left Hollow Anchors.
Eight. Years. Ago.
Nearly an entire Fatesdamned decade.
How she and her pack have allowed me near her again, I don’t know. They should have kicked my ass and tossed me to the curb.
Fingers grip my chin hard, digging in to the point of pain.
The touch grounds me long enough to focus on Sterling, whose face is inches from my own.
So close his amber eyes glow like pools of molten gold, and I want to drown in them.
To hide from what they’re trying to tell me, like the coward I am.
I’m panicking. Lungs struggling to pull in air with the weight of anxiety crushing my chest. “Breathe,” he commands, infusing the barest hint of a bark into the word so I’m forced to inhale deeply.
All I can smell is the charred edge of my regret and the citrusy blend of his scent. And it cuts.
Why is he helping me?
“We weren’t aware Skye’s symptoms were from bond sickness. If we had known, we would have tracked you down sooner. As Emmett said, you also have bond sickness, Caleb.”
Me? They think I have it too? But that’s not… that can’t be true, C an it?
“Let us tell you about Skye’s symptoms,” Sterling says gently, dropping my chin now that I have my breathing under control. Nodding sharply, I force myself to focus. To be present as I learn all the ways I’ve decimated my Omega.
Emmett takes control of the conversation again, speaking in a matter-of-fact tone that makes digesting this easier. “Emotional regulation is the most noticeable. Because our Fated connection is shared emotions, it makes it harder for her to dim what she feels from our bonds.”
“She experiences our emotions a hundredfold,” Bellamy adds, leaning against the arm of the couch.
“Exactly,” Emmett agrees. “Fluctuating heat hormones is another symptom. Both an irregular heat cycle and semi-frequent mini-heats.”
Aren’t mini-heats taxing and dangerous in ways normal ones aren’t? I remember Bea talking about them before and what she had to say wasn’t good.
“The last symptom is weight loss.”
Hanging my head, I stay quiet as he explains. Skye has been underweight most of her life. When we were in high school, it didn’t bother her, but as we got older, reaching our twenties, it became an issue.
The barrier holding my tears at bay cracks.
Hearing she still struggles with her self-image wrecks me. Is the stress from our hidden fate the reason she can’t gain weight now? Am I the reason she isn’t comfortable in her own skin?
“Based on what Skye has experienced over the years, I can guess what you’ve been dealing with.” Sterling pulls my attention back to them, not saying anything about me silently crying. “You’ve been depressed. Lost your appetite easily. Never fit in with other packs or Omegas.”
“How do I help her?” I ask quickly, not wanting to go down this path. Any side effects I’ve experienced are well deserved. I chose to leave, but I won’t make that mistake again.
Whatever it takes, I won’t let her suffer another minute because of me.
Sterling stares, his brow wrinkled, before he leans back on his palms with a rough sigh. “Be here. Hold her. Make sure she has your scent. Bonding is the only permanent solution, but you aren’t ready for that.”
When I clench my jaw, Onyx jabs a finger at me. “Do not rush. Staying here is enough. For now.”
“Yeah, I get it.” Scrubbing my face with the backs of my hands, I push to my feet. “Thanks. For letting me know. I promise I’ll fix it.”
Bellamy stops me as I round the couch, his hand wrapped around my upper arm. “You didn’t know, dude. About your connection. No one blames you, so don’t blame yourself.”
Jerking my head in agreement, I shake off his touch and head through the house. They may not blame me, but this is my fault.
Crawling beneath the heavy peach comforter on Skye’s bed, I tuck myself against her back. She rolls toward me, face pressing into my armpit before she melts, soft snores puffing against my skin.
This is where I always should have been.
With the woman who holds all the best parts of my soul.