Chapter 3 #2
She trusted Sloane more than she trusted almost anyone—just from the way he’d treated her since they met. The chemistry between them had only burned brighter as time moved on.
They both had their reasons for keeping away until now.
She would tell him hers because there would be no hiding it if things progressed.
She just hoped he’d tell her his.
“Enough of that,” she mumbled to herself. She’d spent the past twenty minutes staring in the mirror, trying to figure out how she’d gotten herself into this situation, and now she was going to be late if she didn’t get a move on.
As fast as she could, she finished straightening her hair, the sleek threads forming a perfect bob.
Her post chemo hair wasn’t as straight as it used to be so she had to iron out the wave if she wanted her hairstyle to work.
Her thick bangs rocked in her opinion, and she was grateful her hair hadn’t thinned like so many others’ had.
This hairstyle, actually, came from one of the wigs she’d had during her treatments.
She’d loved the way it framed her face so much, she’d let her hair grow out into the style.
She quickly did her makeup, making sure her lips were stained a deep red. If she pressed a glass to her lips or even kissed Sloane later, the stain wouldn’t come off. She loved this brand and prayed her shop continued to do well so she could afford it.
The knock on the door came precisely on time, and she grinned.
Sloane was known for his promptness. And knowing him and his military mindset, he had probably been outside for five minutes waiting for her because being right on time was actually late to him.
She wasn’t usually late for things, but she sometimes came in by the skin of her teeth.
Hailey ran her hands down her long tunic again before opening the door, her heart beating loudly in her ears.
Damn she loved the look of this man.
He wore an old leather jacket that fit firmly to his shoulders and made her want to peel it right off him.
His legs were encased in faded denim, but the jeans weren’t too old with holes or anything—just perfectly fit to his legs in the ideal blue.
The black boots he wore only accentuated the sexy bad-boy image that made her heart beat even faster.
He’d put a knitted beanie on his bald head since it was still a bit cold outside despite the fact that it had warmed up some that day. Of course, with Denver weather, it could drop below freezing tomorrow and then be almost shorts weather the next day.
“Wow,” she whispered, and he grinned at her.
“You’re pretty wow yourself.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. His eyes were bright, as if he wasn’t sure how he’d ended up here either. Of course, she was probably just projecting.
“So…you want to come in?” She bit her lip.
Why was this so awkward? This was Sloane.
They saw each other practically every day.
He was in her shop more often than not just to talk.
Or in Sloane’s case, to grunt and mumble unless something was truly important to him.
They knew each other…so why did this feel different?
Because it was different.
He tilted his head, studying her face. “If that’s what you want. I have reservations at Illusion in a bit, but I can move that if you want to do something different.” He grinned again. “I didn’t actually ask you what you wanted to do after all.”
She let out a breath. “We did this a little backward, didn’t we?”
He shrugged. “So what? We’re doing this, whatever this is, our way. That’s all that matters. So, why don’t you go put a jacket on and we’ll head to Illusion. We’ll figure the rest out when we do.”
She nodded, oddly warming at his words. She liked the use of the word our. She hadn’t been an our in far too long. As soon as she got her jacket and purse, she locked the door behind her and stood on the front porch with Sloane. He slid his large, calloused hand over hers and she licked her lips.
He’d touched her in the past, of course; slight caresses or a small pat on the back.
But he’d never held her hand.
This was happening.
“Ready?” he asked, his voice low, deep.
Was she ready? She wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready, but here she was, with Sloane, as whole as she could be and about to take a leap.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “Yes, I am,” she said a little more clearly.
He met her gaze and gave her a nod. “Good.” With that, he led her to his truck, a very sexy extended cab with thick tires for the winter. She knew he also had a bike he used whenever it was warm, and she’d always imagined riding behind him, her thighs wrapped around his body as they rode.
She blushed, annoyed with herself for even blushing in the first place, and pushed those thoughts from her mind.
Date first.
Sex later.
As soon as Sloane got into the cab, he raised a brow at her. “Either you’re cold from standing outside too long with me or you’re thinking dirty thoughts.”
She snorted and waved her hand. “I forget you know me so well.”
He licked his lips. “Does that mean you’re thinking dirty thoughts?”
This was Sloane, she told herself once more. She could be herself.
“So what if I was? You’re sexy, and I was thinking of your bike.”
He smiled then, his teeth white against the tan of his skin. “When the weather gets warmer, I’ll take you for a ride.”
Of course, her mind immediately went to the thought of riding him. And then the idea of her riding on his bike in general. Did he mean that he wanted her with him, as in with him, on that bike or was it just a friend thing?
And why the hell was she thinking so hard.
“Stop thinking so hard.”
She gave him a side-eye as he drove. “Stop reading my mind.”
“I can’t help it. It’s just what we do.”
“True,” she mumbled. “What are we doing, Sloane?” She hadn’t meant for that last part to come out, but she apparently couldn’t hold it in.
He let out a sigh and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, as evidenced from the whiteness of his knuckles.
“I’m taking you out. We’re going to eat, talk a bit, then we’ll figure it out.”
She pressed her lips together. “And? And what then? I mean why now? Why did you wait until Brody asked me out to do anything?”
He let out a little growl then pulled over to the side of the road. Her eyes widened as he put on his flashers and turned to her.
“Okay, let’s get this straight. You and I? We’ve been circling each other for a while now. I know it. You know it. So let’s just say it.”
She nodded. “Yeah, you’re right about that, but—”
“I’m not done.”
She snorted but waved for him to continue. She kind of liked him all growly and broody—God help her.
“I liked the dance we had even though I hated it. I’ve wanted you, Hailey, but…
well, for reasons of my own, I stayed away.
I know I’m not good enough for you, but I don’t damn well seem to care right now.
I love what we have, love that we talk and I watch you bake, but I want more.
” He paused for a moment. “I don’t know as I deserve it, but I want it.
And for the record? You could have asked me out anytime before now.
You’re not one to back away. You have your secrets, but you say what you want most times. ”
She swallowed hard, her mind whirling. “I guess I could have asked you out before. And you’re right. I do have secrets, and that’s why I didn’t do anything about it.”
He studied her face once more. “Well, we’re doing something about it now. So let’s move on from why we didn’t before and figure out what we’re going to do next. I know those secrets of ours are going to come out, but—”
This time, she interrupted him. “But if we keep going in circles, we’ll only end up hurting each other.”
“Exactly. So, does Illusion sound good to you still? Or do you want something different? I know you work with food every day, so you choose.”
Illusion was a hipster place that had popped up in downtown Denver a few months ago.
It wasn’t as pretentious as many of the new hipster places tended to be, and they had fantastic food.
They were a hole-in-the-wall that tended to be busy—hence the reservations for dinner.
But everything was organic and tasty. Since Hailey only ate organic thanks to the chemicals she’d pumped her body full of in her effort to get healthy, it worked for her.
“Let’s go,” she said softly and took a breath.
Sloane reached out and cupped her cheek. Without thinking, she leaned into his touch. “Okay, then, Hails. Let’s get some food.”
He let her go, turned off the hazards, and pulled out onto the road again. All the while, Hailey sat back, her cheek still warm from his touch. She had no idea what she was doing, but damn it, she couldn’t wait to figure it out.
“Do you want to come in?” Hailey asked a couple of hours later, her belly full and her cheeks aching from laughing all night.
Dinner with Sloane had been memorable to say the least. He was all big, bearded, broody, and inked. And oh so hers for the evening. He’d laughed with her, touched her when he could—a casual brush of fingers along silk. He would lean in close to tell her a joke and then smile wide when she laughed.
Sloane didn’t smile enough.
The fact that he would in her presence warmed her.
Sloane stood next to her on her porch, his large body towering over her but not scaring her in the least. He was the largest man she knew, and yet she knew, without a doubt, he’d never physically hurt her.
“I could get warm,” he answered.
She swallowed hard, unlocked her front door and stepped inside, feeling his warm body behind her. He helped her slide off her coat, his fingers brushing along her ribs. She shuddered out a breath.
When he pulled her to face him, she tilted her head up and licked her lips.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long while,” Sloane said softly. “Should have done it before.”
“Then do it now,” she whispered.
When he lowered his head, pressing his lips to hers, she surrendered to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body to his, aware she was doing something she had not done since the diagnosis
Willingly allowing another to know the feel of her body.
It had taken years for her to allow herself to think of her body as beautiful. As brave. And with this kiss, she would take it one step further.
She would allow another to hopefully think the same.
His tongue slid along hers, and she moaned, loving his taste, the feel of him…everything.
When he pulled away, they were both breathless, a fundamental part of their relationship forever changed.
She met his gaze and knew there was something she had to do before she took the next step. It wouldn’t be fair if she didn’t.
“I…I’ve wanted to do that for far too long,” she finally said.
Sloane grinned, though she saw an emotion pass through his eyes she couldn’t quite name. Secrets, she thought again, they both had secrets. So, perhaps it was time she shared hers. She’d hidden them for so long, she almost didn’t know the words.
When she pulled away, he frowned. But he let her go, his fingers lingering on her hips as she moved.
“I’m glad we did it, then. How about we do it again?” he asked.
She licked her lips but held up her hand as he took a step forward. “I need to tell you something first.”
He tilted his head. “Okay.”
She let out a little laugh. “You’re always like that. You say okay and you listen. That’s what I’ve always liked about you, Sloane.”
He shrugged. “No use in being here if I’m not going to listen. You want to sit down?”
She shook her head. “No, but let’s go into the living room anyway. I don’t want to be so close to the windows.”
His brows raised, but he took her hand and walked with her into the living room. Her heart beat hard and her blood pounded in her ears once more, but this time, it wasn’t in breathless anticipation.
“So…you know how we were talking about secrets? Well, I think I should tell you mine…you know…before we do anything else.”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready for. I know we started off tonight, hell today, on an odd note, but if we’re going to do this, let’s do it our way. Remember?”
“I want to do this.” She closed her eyes. “It’s so much harder to date someone you know,” she mumbled.
He let out a snort. “The ‘get to know you’ part is out of the way. You know my favorite drink, and I know the faces you make when you’re tired or annoyed.
So yeah, we can’t hide things like that from each other.
But I know you hold something back from everyone, from me.
I don’t fault you for that. We all need our secrets. ”
She nodded. “I know. And I should have told everyone long ago. I didn’t mean to keep it to myself for so long.
It’s not that I’m ashamed...” She paused.
“I’m not ashamed. But it’s…it’s not an easy subject.
And all of us—the Montgomerys and crew—have been through so much.
And since my…thing is in the past, it was hard to bring up. ”
Sloane took a step forward but didn’t touch her. “Tell me, Hailey. You know you can tell me anything. What happened?”
She raised her chin, knowing it was all or nothing. “I had cancer. Breast cancer. In the course of my treatment, I had a bilateral mastectomy. The shape you see now isn’t who I was, but it is who I am now. I’m a survivor, Sloane, but no one knows.”