36
Beatriz sighed and leaned against a log. For an instant, she was surprised not to feel the roughness of the bark, although she soon remembered why.
She looked around, wishing that one of the others involved would make an appearance and finish the job for her. But she knew that wasn”t going to happen. Everything was her fault and nobody else”s. Only she alone could make amends for those mistakes. She was fully aware of this but didn”t feel ready to reveal the rawest part of her story yet.
She watched her daughter for signs. Vesna’s face was slightly tanned and freckled, with a healthy pink hue to her cheeks. She had inherited her father”s northern complexion, and the mountain air suited her. Unlike me, she thought.
“Just a moment,” said Vesna, interrupting her train of thought. “You said it happened on February 12th. Isn”t that the same date that Dad died?”
Beatriz looked to the sky for support, but nobody answered.
“Let”s go step by step,” she said slowly. “That morning, I was with Andreu, but then he dropped me off at home and went to a villa he was landscaping. Martin saw us getting out of the car together. When he arrived, I was in the bathtub with wet hair, playing idly with the bubbles. Martin entered the apartment like a hurricane. I could hear him knocking over the vase in the foyer as he passed by. Your father was always a peaceful man, so his fury immediately worried me. Martin poked his head around the bathroom door, and when he looked at me, I saw the anger in his eyes turn to deep sadness. The water in the bathtub began to swirl under your father”s gaze.
‘You have a lover,’ he stated, his voice trembling. Foam began to rise, coming up to my nose. I wondered if he was trying to drown me by telepathy. I didn”t deny his accusation. I didn”t love him enough; I never did. Although I didn”t know where he had gotten this information, deep down inside, I was glad to have a reason to separate from him once and for all.
‘Beatriz, you’re so beautiful...’ he said, contemplating my naked body barely covered in bubbles. ‘Tell me I”m wrong. Tell me at least that it was a mistake on your part, that you’re sorry, and that you want to remain my wife.’
I took a breath and dipped my head in the water so I wouldn”t hear his pleas. I couldn”t stand it. I felt the tears threatening to erupt like a fireball about to burst, but I held my breath a few seconds longer. I wasn”t crying for his love but for his kindness. Your father was a good man, and I knew I would miss him if I lost him forever. After a while, Martin noticed that I didn”t want to listen to him and left the bathroom, dragging his feet. I lifted my head out of the water and burst out sobbing, but he couldn”t hear me anymore. He went into the bedroom and took his passport. I guess he stood waiting for me to come after him because he opened the door very slowly, and it was a long while before it closed again. I was wet and naked and didn’t get out of the bathtub to follow him. If I had, I might not be here today, telling you all this as a soul in pain.
“You let him go,” I exclaimed. “You could have stopped him, but you didn’t.”
“Unfortunately, that wasn’t even the worst thing I did.”
“He died because of you, didn”t he?”
“Why don’t you let me finish my story first?”
Vesna exhaled impatiently and looked at the time on her phone. In the distance, the old Yugoslavian car was still parked on the hard shoulder, and mirages rippled on the hot tarmac. Beatriz continued.
“Martin drove to L”Eliana, where the luxurious villa belonging to his wealthy clients from Madrid was located. He knew he would find Andreu there. As he expected, he saw the company van parked behind the gate. He turned off his headlights and left the car on the street corner.”
“Sorry, Mom, but... how do you know all this if you weren”t there with him?” her daughter interrupted her with a raised eyebrow.
“Let”s just say one of the people involved told me about it after the event. Can I go on?”
Vesna nodded.
“Behind the house was a glass greenhouse where they were planting a miniature tropical garden with a small heated pool inside. Next to the greenhouse, your father had designed a spectacular terrace on four levels with cascading succulents and climbing plants in order to take advantage of the steep slope of the land. Martin saw a faint glow coming from the pool and guessed that Andreu was working in the tropical garden. He entered the house stealthily, crossing the open door without Andreu hearing him. There was access to the gym through the spacious hall, which had a sliding door connecting it to the spa area. He wasn’t surprised to find Andreu dozing on a teak lounger, the hoe discarded several meters behind him and a glass of whiskey in his hand as he listened to a soccer match on the radio.
‘Andreu, what a pleasant surprise,’ Martin said through clenched teeth. Andreu raised his head from his drink and looked at him with glassy eyes. He was drunk.
‘Hey, boss! I thought you were in Seville. What brings you here?’ he replied matter-of-factly, groping around in search of some tool that could serve as an excuse.
‘Surprise visit. I came back early so I could celebrate Valentine”s Day with my wife. How about you, Andreu? Are you spending Valentine’s with anyone? You never talk about it, but it’s just occurred to me that I”ve never seen you with a woman. Aren’t there any you like, or do you like men better?’
‘Ah, Martinet, not at all. I don’t talk about it because you never ask me.’
‘So, do you have a girlfriend?’
‘Well, girlfriend, girlfriend, no... I go out with someone sometimes... but what does that matter? Let”s talk about Seville. How”s the Brits’ house coming along?’
‘No, let”s talk about your conquests,’ Martin insisted, with increasing aggressiveness. ‘I”m very interested. Who is she, what”s her name, and why have you never introduced me to her?’
‘Hey, boss, because she”s nothing, she”s just a girl like any other. A silly pastime. Nothing serious, that”s why I haven”t mentioned her.’
‘Is that what she means to you, a silly pastime?’ growled Martin, growing more and more furious.
‘Chill, Martinet, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what? Come on, sit down with me and have a drink. It’ll make you feel better.’
Andreu looked around for his hoe, but this time for a different reason.
‘I thought we were friends, Andreu. You were always more of a parasite than a partner, but I turned a blind eye to keep our friendship and our business,’ Martin said, removing an aphid from the stem of a rose and crushing it between two fingers. ‘What I couldn”t imagine is that you would become an extremely dangerous parasite. A pest. And pests... must be exterminated.’
Martin approached him with his fist raised, ready to vent his anger. He had lost his temper, which was very rare for him. Your father was one of those quiet people who held it all inside. That”s why, when he finally exploded, it was like an atomic bomb detonating, ready to destroy everything in sight.
Andreu jumped off the lounger in time and ran out of the greenhouse toward the terraced garden.
‘Look me in the eye, you son of a bitch!’ roared Martin as the dry leaves swirled around him in time with his fury. “Look me in the eye and confess what you did—that you”ve been doing to me all these years!’
‘You”ve gone mad, Martinet! What”s this all about? Are you drunk?’
“Andreu made a run for it, grabbing some huge pruning shears that were lying under a hedge.
‘You know perfectly well, you bastard. How long have you been screwing my wife? How long have you been laughing at me in my own house?’
Martin was beside himself. He approached Andreu, who slowly backed away, swaying in his drunkenness as he wielded the scissors. The steep-tiered terraces still had no railing, and behind him was a drop of several feet.
‘If you hadn”t been an asshole, maybe she wouldn”t have looked for comfort in my arms,‘ Andreu sneered at Martin, dropping his jovial mask now he was cornered.
‘You fucking parasite. For the first time in your life, you’re showing who you really are.
‘Parasite, me? Look who’s talking! The one who came all the way from Eastern Europe to steal our women and our jobs. Why didn”t you stay in your country, Martinet? Why don”t you go back there and rot in the rubble of the Balkan war?’
When Andreu said that, Martin lost his mind completely. For the first time since they met, they both said out loud what they had always thought about each other. The polite facade they had maintained out of pure civility fell away, with no possibility of turning back.
Martin grabbed a long, heavy branch and swung it around, trying to push Andreu. Andreu used the open shears as a shield to stop the blow. He succeeded, but the shears flew down the terrace.
Martin charged at him again, blind with rage and jealousy, punching Andreu in the stomach. They both lost their balance and plunged into the void.
Their joint scream echoed through the deserted housing development, although only one of them took another breath after the fall.
Silently, Beatriz watched her daughter. Vesna had turned pale and was gawking at her.
“My God,” Vesna muttered. “So that”s what happened.”
There was more, but Beatriz didn’t feel able to continue. It was too much for one day. She had never told this story to anyone, and it had been her burden for twenty-three years. It wasn’t easy to let go of the anvil.
In the distance, a small trailer truck was loading up the Austrian”s old Yugo. The young man waved his arm in the air, calling Vesna from the road.
“Your friend is calling you,” said Beatriz. “I must go now, anyway.”
Vesna didn’t even answer. The expression on her face was one of hatred, rejection, and something else that Beatriz couldn’t identify.
“I”ll come back another day to finish the story,” Beatriz said. “In the meantime, promise me one thing…”
“Why would I promise you anything after you ruined our lives like this? After letting a man like that into our lives? I don”t owe you anything. You’re no longer my mother.”
Beatriz looked down at the ground, where earthworms were darting in and out of the wet mulch, leaving tiny holes in their wake. Everything we do leaves an imprint, she said to herself, but it”s easy to forget it while you”re living when things remain behind you and are forgotten.
“Promise me that you’ll get to the end of your search,” she said. “That you’ll find the truth and try to understand it, even if it’s not as you expected.”
“I’m not promising you anything. I”ll do whatever I want, just like you always did.”
Beatriz shrugged, dejected.
“Okay,” she said in a quiet voice. “It”s your right.”
Her last words hissed softly as her ghostly silhouette evaporated. In its place, only a faint aura of light remained, slowly blowing away in the warm spring breeze.