Chapter 10 #2
Aidan’s smile is warm. “Really. You have a lot more control than most cats shifting for the first time—aside from those initial few minutes when your cat was in complete control. Don’t try shifting again unless I’m with you, just in case that wasn’t a one-off.”
My eyes widen as the implications of that hit me, and he rushes to assure me, “It’s not likely. But there’s no harm in making sure, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I nod. Honestly, I’m not even sure what he’s talking about. “My cat was in control? What does that mean?”
Alistair squeezes my hand. “Exactly what it sounds like. Sometimes, when the human side of us can’t handle what’s going on, the animal side takes over.
It’s a defense mechanism and usually only happens after a trauma.
We’re not actually animals in the purest sense when we shift—we retain our human faculties and just merge them with our animal senses and instincts. ”
I try to understand. “So… after I shifted, there was some time that I don’t remember?”
Alistair looks across me to Aidan.
“Yes,” the pack leader confirms. “Just a few minutes. You were disoriented, seemed a bit frightened. I called you back—it’s similar to compelling a shift, but more psychological.”
It’s creepy to think that I wasn’t in control of my body, and worse, I have no memory of it.
“If you don’t mind,” Dr. Sims says quietly, “we should get another lot of samples now that Sam is no longer human in any way.”
“Samples?” Does she mean more blood and semen? Panic closes my throat. I can’t let her near me with a needle, I can’t. A little voice in the back of my head chides that she already took samples once today and there’s nothing to worry about, but it’s drowned out by a wave of fear. “No. Nonono.”
“Sam?” Gideon gets up from his armchair and comes toward me. I launch up from the couch and into his arms, the sudden impact sending him back a step as I cling to him and bury my face in his neck.
“Don’t let her near me. Don’t. Please don’t let her near me.”
“Whoa. What’s going on?” someone asks.
“Anxiety. Maybe paranoia,” Aidan says, sighing. “It’s a side effect of the forced shift. I’m sorry, Doctor, but it’s probably best if you don’t try to take those samples today.”
“Of course,” she says. I open one eye and turn my head slightly so I can see her as she makes her way toward the door. I can’t trust her, not for one second. She might try to double back. “Call me when he’s ready. We’ll process the other samples in the meantime.”
“Thank you,” Percy says, and I turn my attention to him. He invited her here. Maybe he’s in on it with her? Maybe he’s just been pretending to want to help me.
I try to climb Gideon.
“Okay, Sam, I’ve got you,” he murmurs. “Nobody’s going to hurt you. You’re safe.”
“You don’t know that,” I hiss. “We don’t know who we can trust!”
“I’d be offended, but he’s really not himself right now,” Andrew mutters.
The vampire . In my head, all the stuff I’ve learned about vampires in the past five years tangles with the fiction from my pre-community life.
I can’t remember what’s true and what’s not.
I can’t remember if vampires are to be trusted.
“Sam, I need my hands free to protect you best,” Gideon says softly in my ear. “So I’m going to put you down. You can stay right next to me, all right?”
I don’t want to let him go, but he’s right. I unwind my legs from around his waist and reluctantly drop to my feet, turning around so he can protect my back and I can watch everyone else.
“Sam, do you know who I am?” Aidan asks, and something in me relaxes. The species leader is here. He can keep us safe.
“Yes, of course. Aidan.”
“Good. There’s a lot going on here, so I think you’ll be safest if you go home while I deal with it. Who would you like with you?”
My gaze flits around the room. If he can’t come with me… who can I trust?
“Gideon,” I say, even though I’m not really sure why. I just know he’ll help me.
Alistair moves restlessly, and I bite my lip. Something in me wants to say his name too, but he’s a hellhound. Am I sure I can trust him?
Gideon’s a demon, and you’re trusting him , inner me points out. “And Alistair,” I add, and curiously, nearly everyone looks relieved.
Maybe he is in on their plot. Maybe I’ve just invited the enemy into my home, where Gideon and I will be vulnerable.
“That’s great,” Aidan says. Does that mean he doesn’t know Alistair might be a risk? Or is he certain it’s safe?
Alistair would never turn on you , inner me says, and I decide to trust him. It. Myself.
“Let’s go, then,” Gideon says, taking my hand and tugging me toward the door. “I’ll walk with you, Sam, and Alistair will have our backs. We’ll take his SUV. Is that okay?”
“Yes.” I’m not sure if it is.
We get to the door and Gideon reaches for the knob, and I grab his wrist. “No. Stop. Can you hear them? They’re out there.
” They’re waiting for us. “We can’t go out there without a plan.
We have to take them down to get through.
” Behind us, I can hear the others murmuring.
Plotting against us? Preparing to join forces with those outside?
“Don’t worry, Sam, I have a plan,” Alistair says confidently. I look up at him, but his gaze is fixed across the room. He knows. He’s realized that everyone else has been compromised.
I lean forward and whisper to him, “We have to rescue Aidan.”
His attention comes to me, and he nods. “Absolutely. My plan takes that into account.” His gaze drifts back, and he nods again.
“Sam, could I have a moment of your time?” a voice says, and it’s such a beautiful voice.
I just want to listen to it all day. I turn around.
Andrew is walking toward me, smiling, and he’s sooooo pretty.
I smile back. “I just need you to come and lie down on the couch for a few minutes. Come on, this way.”
I follow Andrew over to the couch. I would do anything for him, because he’s so nice and friendly and beautiful. I want to curl up in his lap and let him feed me grapes. He could ask for so much more than just me to lie down, but if that’s what he wants…
I stretch out on the couch. Andrew kneels on the floor beside me, still smiling.
“Thank you, Sam. That’s exactly what I needed.
You’ve done a great job.” I can vaguely hear other people talking, but they’re not important.
The only thing that’s important is Andrew and making sure he’s happy with me.
“Just lie there for a few minutes and rest. You can close your eyes if you like. I’m going to tell you about what I did last weekend. ”
I let my eyes drift closed as Andrew begins talking about brunch and laundry and tennis. His voice is so nice. I’m going to lie here and bask— Ouch!
My eyes snap open in time to see Dr. Sims step back, a syringe in hand.
I flail on the couch as panic swirls up, but then Andrew says, “It’s all okay, Sam.
Everything is just fine,” and it recedes.
For a moment longer, I lie there, absorbing the calm of Andrew’s voice, and then my head gets fuzzy and my vision doubles. I close my eyes again.