Chapter 11 #5
“No!” Gideon’s exclamation is sharp as he comes back into the living room. “No more forced shifts. We’re not even sure he’s over the last one.”
“Gideon’s right,” Percy says calmly. “But I’m sure it won’t be necessary anyway.
This is something Sam does naturally. He just needs to be shown how.
” He comes over to stand beside Elinor and takes my hand, turning it over to see the claws from all angles.
“Not every shifter can partially shift, Sam, but those who can say it feels just the same as a regular shift, just on a localized scale. So connect with your energy and visualize your hands the way they should be.”
I bite my lip. What if it all goes horribly wrong and I end up with paws, or no hands at all?
Percy smiles that gentle, knowing smile of his and looks me right in the eye, and I sigh.
“Okay.” Closing my eyes, I breathe deeply and concentrate on my energy. It’s even easier this time than last time, faster and stronger, and in just a few seconds, it’s ready. I visualize myself with human hands and let it burst free.
My hands ache with that same strange discomfort as before, but when I open my eyes, I once again have ordinary fingers with ordinary fingernails. There aren’t any signs that they were ever anything else.
I turn them over, checking closely. “There’s not even any cuts or dried blood,” I marvel.
“That’s how it should be,” Aidan says beside me, and I jump.
“Fuck me! When did you get here? And can you not ever sneak up on me again, please?” I slap a hand to my chest, where my heart feels like it’s beating out of control. “In fact, new rule! Nobody is allowed to enter my apartment unless I let them in. There will be no more unexpected claw events.”
There’s a round of coughing and clearing throats—Andrew is the only one with the balls (or temerity) to laugh outright. Aidan smiles and takes my hands, checking them carefully.
“A partial shift, huh? The first time is usually an emotional reaction—fear, shock, something like that.”
“The locked door opening while we were talking about invaders?”
“Invaders?” David asks. “I guess it fits, but it seems a bit dramatic.”
I glare at him. “Really? You want to get picky about terminology now ? Go ahead.” I fling my arms wide. “Let’s have a debate about the nuances of language.”
“Whoa.” He holds up his hands and takes a step back, eyes wide. “Nope. Sorry. I’ll just go see what kind of organizational system Gideon’s using for your pantry.”
“Anyway,” Aidan says, sounding like he’s trying not to laugh and pulling my attention back to him, “your instincts reacted to protect you by giving you claws. Because it was a completely uncontrolled shift, I’m guessing you ended up with some tearing and bleeding?”
I nod, suddenly a little overwhelmed. There’s so much I have to learn about being a shifter. And with all the other crap going on at the moment, I don’t know where the time is going to come from… or if I’ll be able to learn what I need before I need it.
“In future, you should be able to shift certain parts of yourself at will, the same as you’ll be able to shift entirely into a cat. We’ll practice,” he assures me, no doubt seeing my doubtful expression. “How are you feeling?”
I heave a huge, dramatic sigh. “I’m fine. Physically, I feel great, and there’s been no paranoia or anxiety since I woke up. I’m embarrassed as fuck, though.”
“Don’t be,” he tells me. “It was brought on entirely by the chemicals that flooded your brain as a result of the compelled shift and has absolutely nothing to do with you or your ordinary behavior.”
Lily pushes forward, and I realize how crowded it is. My living room is a great size for one or two people, and can handle four or five relatively comfortably, but eight, even with David and Gideon in the kitchen, is beyond cozy. Maybe we should rearrange the furniture to make it more comfortable?
“Sam,” Lily says firmly, “you’re awesome.
We love you. And we’re so touched that you’ve let us be part of such a momentous time of your life.
” She puts her arms around me and hugs me tight.
Since she’s inches taller than me—like most people—my face is smashed into her neck.
I can smell her perfume, a blend designed not to irritate sensitive shifter noses, her underlying succubus species scent, and something else that’s uniquely her.
It’s warm and comforting but strong as steel. Just like her.
I hug her back. “Thanks, Lily.” Even if I’m not sure I had a choice about including them in everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours—fuck me, is that all?
It feels like eternity—I’m glad they’re here.
I may not have known them all that long, but they’ve made me feel welcome and accepted, something I was missing for a long time.
Alistair and my old team began the process, but part of me always remembered that I was forced on them.
I was Harold’s last resort for the team that had scared off all their admins.
And while I have no doubt that they grew to love me, there’s always a little voice in my head telling me that if they’d had a choice back then, it would never have been me.
This team, though… they came to me. They chose me. They wanted me, despite me being human, because of me being human. That meant more to me than even I realized.
So I squeeze Lily tight, because she’s the heart of the team and one of the closest friends I’ve ever had, and I breathe her in and file that scent in my olfactory memory under “comfort.” Then I let her go and smile.
“We should rearrange the furniture so we can be comfortable. And then we have work to do.”