Chapter One #3
“We could have a very lively debate about this,” Andrew says, “and I’d enjoy that very much, but as you pointed out before, none of us has the time today, so here’s our trump card: we set up a spy cam to catch you in the act.”
That sound you hear is my head exploding.
“You set up a spy cam in Percy’s office? Are you insane ?” My brain scrambles through the many issues this could cause. “Did you at least clear it with Percy and security first?”
Gideon holds out his hand, palm up, and wiggles his fingers. “Pay up.” Andrew and Ellie hand over cash, grumbling all the while.
I look over at a chuckling Noah in stunned horror. “Do I even want to know?”
“They thought you’d freak over us recording you sleeping. Gideon said you’d care more about the security side.”
“I don’t even know where to start,” I mutter, shaking my head. “Wait, yes I do. Get that camera out of Percy’s office right now. How long has it been there? Do you not understand how much classified information gets talked about in there?”
“Relax,” Ellie chides. “It was only there for one night. Percy knew all about it and switched it off when he got in yesterday morning.” She sniffs. “We’d never risk a security breach.” Somehow, she manages to sound offended, like she wasn’t just part of the most stupid, hare-brained scheme—
Wait, that’s not true. They’ve done dumber shit before.
I throw back the last of my coffee. Thankfully, it’s not too hot anymore.
“Okay, fine. The last few days, I’ve slept on Percy’s couch to save time on the commute.”
“You could crash at our place,” Sam points out. “It’s a lot closer than yours, and the guest suite is more comfortable than Percy’s office.”
“You have a guest at the moment,” I point out. I’m not crawling into bed with Caolan—he doesn’t need that kind of encouragement. Which reminds me…
“Let’s get back to the whole thing where you told Caolan to bring me breakfast.”
Alistair claps his hands. “We’re helping him woo you! He wanted to know the best way to show you how much you mean to him, since the declarations of love seem to send you fleeing in terror.”
I want to bang my head against the wall, but it’s too far away.
“I don’t mean anything to him. We met two days ago.
We’ve barely spoken, and none of it’s been personal.
” Declarations of adoration aside. “He shouldn’t be wooing me, and you sure as fuck shouldn’t be helping him.
” I stop and take a breath. That got a little heated.
My friends are staring at me. Alistair’s eyes are wide, and there’s a delighted grin on Andrew’s stupid face.
“Did you just raise your voice?” he asks. “You did! Something got under your skin enough for you to raise your voice. Caolan got under your skin. The wooage is working!”
Seriously, how is this my life ?
“Wooage is not a word.” It’s the only thing I can think to say. Noah groans.
“Oh my god, that’s not going to discourage them, David. They’re sharks, and you just went swimming with an open wound.”
What?
“What?” Sam asks him. He shrugs.
“It seemed like a good analogy at the time.”
My phone chimes discreetly. It’s the five-minute alert for my meeting with Percy. “This has taken up way too much time,” I say. Fuck it, I needed to review with Noah and Sam. I look at them. “Have you both got things under control? Do you need anything from me?”
Sam nods, and Noah shakes his head.
“We’re good,” he assures me. “Eerika is coming back in today, so you can tell the migration management team that they can call me with questions about what the elves might need. I know it’s not a perfect solution, but until you get an elf liaison, it’s something.”
“Yes. Thank you. That’s a great idea. I’ll call—”
“I’ll call and let them know,” Sam cuts in. “We’ll hold down the office. You go to your meeting. I’m stealing half an hour this evening, though, for us all to debrief. I think it’s important we have the chance to talk and bounce theories. We can do it over food at Gideon’s and my place.”
“We can?” Gideon asks. Sam gives him a look, and he nods. “We can.” This time, he sounds glum. I almost smile, but part of me is worried they’re somehow going to turn that meeting against me. Still, Sam’s right—we work best as a team, and we need to be together for that.
“Fine. Add it to my calendar. I better not get there to find you’ve all fucked off and left me with Caolan and a romantic dinner for two.”
“Oooh,” Alistair says, and Sam throws a pen at him.
“Cross my heart,” he promises me. “Although if I’d thought of that first, I probably would have done it. But we really do need to catch up, so that will have to wait.”
I’m not entirely sure I can trust him, but I don’t have time to continue this conversation right now. “Okay. I’ll be out of range for most of the day, so I’m routing my calls to you.”
He nods. “I’m on it. Between me and Noah, we can handle the office. Relax. Go.”
Andrew laughs. “Like David could ever relax. It’s one of the things we love about him.”
I don’t bother to tell him he doesn’t make sense, just drop the empty coffee cup in Sam’s wastebasket, flip Andrew the bird, and head for the hallway. Gideon and Alistair, who are both part of this meeting, follow me out.
“You mad?” Gideon asks in a low voice, shocking me. It’s not that he doesn’t care—he does. He’s actually a great friend. But he’s a silent, stoic friend who’d rather we all went away. He doesn’t usually ask that sort of thing.
“Why would he be mad?” Alistair demands. “He’s living the plot of an epic movie. A brave hero fighting to save the world and win the love of an elf. All the Lord of the Rings fans would be going nuts if they knew about this. You have your very own Legolas!”
A sharp pain stabs behind my right eye.
“Shut up, Alistair,” Gideon growls, then mutters, “Want me to run interference with Caolan?”
I stop dead in the hallway, my jaw dropping as I turn to face him. He shrugs uncomfortably.
“You’d still have to handle all the official stuff, but I could try to head off the declarations of love. Maybe I could stop the poetry too.”
“Noooo! Not the poetry!” Alistair wails.
Poetry? There’s going to be poetry?
Shaking my head to clear that thought, I manage a smile—for Gideon, not Alistair. He’s still blathering on about “the unique ingenuity of elvish poetry.”
“Leave it for now. As you say, I still need to be on good terms with him for the official stuff. If it starts to get out of hand, I might take you up on that.”
“Anytime,” he says firmly. “I don’t want you to think we don’t have your back.”
“Of course we have your back,” Alistair says, suddenly dead serious. “If you really, truly want Caolan to back off, I can have a word with him. He and I are bros now. We just also want you to be happy. You deserve to have a nice man lavishing attention on you and licking your toes.”
I honestly don’t know what to make of that. Is it something Caolan has said to him, or is Alistair just making shit up in his offbeat way? Or maybe it’s something he and his significant other, Aidan, like to do. With Alistair, it’s hard to tell.
So I just nod. “Thanks. I’ll, uh, think about it and let you know.”
“So I think that’s everything,” I say half an hour later, rechecking my list. Aside from a quick update for Percy, this meeting’s been about my upcoming trip through a portal.
Percy wanted to go himself, but we all vetoed that idea.
No way were we letting the lucifer enter an unstable dimension that’s ripping itself apart.
Which means I got nominated to be our ambassador to the king of the elves—not that he’s likely to be anything but thrilled to meet me.
After all, I’m literally going to be there so we can plan the best way to save his people from extinction.
But it’s the first time there’s been official contact between our dimensions for nine thousand years, so it’s important I don’t fuck it up.
Especially since we all forgot that the elves actually exist and aren’t just myth.
A lot of what Noah and Eerika talked about yesterday was the etiquette stuff I’m going to need today.
But we’ve covered that. Percy’s also given me a shortlist of things he wants me to tell the king, and another shortlist of things he wants me to try to suss out for future discussions.
Gideon and Alistair had their own lists for me, which were less about diplomacy and more about military and intelligence.
They’re both keen to get as many fighters across as possible before Tish and éibhear strike again.
So we should be done here, just waiting for Caolan to arrive and open the portal.
Except Gideon and Percy are exchanging a look.
You know, one of those looks. The one that means they’ve discussed something behind my back and feel that now is the time to unleash whatever it is that’s going to piss me off.
I’m a little surprised—usually I’m the one exchanging that look with Percy.
I don’t think he’s kept anything secret from me since I first joined the team.
“Just one more thing,” he says in his calm, soothing way.
Part of that comes from him being the lucifer, but not many people know he always had this gift for making people feel better.
I’ve known him since before the magic chose him to be the lucifer, and he’s always been better than any drug on the market. “Gideon’s coming with you.”
I say nothing while I process that. “Okay. Why?” Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to have Gideon as a teammate—I was the one who suggested recruiting him.
He’s insightful, intelligent, and dependable, as long as you don’t want him to represent the team at a community outreach night.
But I don’t need his help with this. And more to the point, he’s needed here today.
They exchange glances again. Alistair looks studiously at the table.