Chapter 20
Zioh
My thoughts were cut short when the door Tshabina had left through opened again, revealing Natasha’s face. She stepped inside, her arms weighed down by a stack of tote bags.
I shook my head, unsettled by the gnawing unease in my chest ever since Tshabina had left the room.
Seeing that familiar shadow again and having her shadow my every step made my heart lose its steady rhythm.
Each time I saw her swollen and trembling eyes, veiled by a cold wall she’d built, I nearly lost my grip. That restless face of hers, the quiet unease… it pushed me to want to take it all away.
But I couldn’t. Because the most significant reason she carried all that was me.
Standing at my side, her warmth seeped into me the same way it always had before.
It still felt… real. In the past, the moment I opened my eyes, my body drenched in sweat and my breath coming in gasps, I’d run straight to the house next door.
I would wait for her, watch her sleep, and count every second until six, when she always woke up.
And when the first thin sunlight began to rise, my lips would curl into a smile, because not long after, I would hear it again: “Zioh!! I dreamed about you!” It felt like a hug.
Like someone was holding me, patting my shoulders, and whispering, “It’s okay. ”
She was my guardian angel, a constant presence that made me so confident that I would always be okay. Even though, in reality, she looked more like a baby doll with her chubby cheeks.
A small amusement escaped me.
I used to know: even if the world broke and crumbled, I wouldn’t fall, because she was the ground I stood on.
You’re the best version of every superhero world ever made! If Marvel and DC knew you existed, they’d be battling each other to claim you, Zioh! Red. 14.
Every single damn night, I would pray for her not to disappear, leaving me behind. I’d done everything, always, to be the version of myself she loved most.
To keep her wanting to stay.
To be her Zioh.
Until they all betrayed me.
Until she chose to destroy what we had.
And Tshabina was something I had to avoid now.
Because her presence was like a hand pressed against my wounds, and everything around me became a loud, hazy blur. No matter how often I balled my hands into a tight fist, to stay unaffected when I saw her face… I failed. The thing left was to pretend she wasn’t there.
As though she was present and absent at the same time.
As though she were just another colleague.
It almost worked.
Until her text message flashed across my mind again.
I flinched when Natasha nudged my arm. She was offering the food she’d bought. She was busy at the desk beside me, neatly arranging packets. I sighed, shaking my head.
As she laid everything out, another tote bag sat beside the food, its logo branded with a phone shop’s name. I raised a brow. “You bought a new phone? I thought you said you only needed the tempered glass replaced.”
Her head snapped up, face flustered. She cleared her throat, lifted a shoulder in a vague shrug. She explained that she had tripped when I made her go back and forth to the mall that day and had found her phone lying on the street. Its tempered glass cracked.
“I just think… it was the right time for one?” she muttered. No, there was a bright pink flush on her cheeks.
I stared at her until she sighed in defeat. “Alright, fine. I… I ran into Tsabinu at the mall.”
Huh. Interesting.
Staying quiet, I let her continue. She straightened up, glancing between the phone bag and me.
“It wasn’t planned. We bumped into each other and said hello.
He saw the crack on my screen, thought I’d come to buy a new phone, and…
Well, he offered to tag along.” She suppressed a smile.
“Be helpful, since I’m not from around here. ”
I frowned. “So instead of simply explaining you only wanted a glass replacement, you actually bought a new phone because that’s what he assumed?”
She went silent—looked away.
Sighing, I nodded. But then she cleared her throat again. “He wasn’t alone.”
My brow arched. “Meaning?”
“He seemed like he had finished a meeting or something. When I saw him, he was with quite a few people, office types. Maybe seven or eight of them?”
I narrowed my gaze. “You’re certain they were INDTV people?”
“Maybe,” she said with another shrug. “I mean, he works there, right? Who else would he be meeting if not INDTV?”
I fell silent.
Was Tsabinu discussing Dad’s issues?
But why outside the company?
And hadn’t that all been settled already?
Or had Dad caused more bloody trouble again?
I forced out a harsh breath. Once. Twice. Tsabinu was only ever that busy if Dad had stirred something, or if Zaeem had ordered him to act.
I tried to think it through, but my mind circled back to Tshabina’s text.
Shit.
A loud sound swirled around me like a cloud of insects. Calm down, breathe, hold it, press it down.
Food. Natasha. Drinks. Tshabina—I shook my head. Table. Papers. Navy shirt—
Fuck it.
“Clear this up, Natasha.” My breath quickened as I strode around the table, grabbing my phone.
Natasha’s confused eyes followed me as I headed for the door.
“Afterwards, meet me at the INDTV office. I need to see some people there,” I said, my hand already on the handle.
Then I paused, turned back to her, catching her gaze with mine.
“I’ll only say this once because I care for you. Tsabinu told me long ago that he doesn’t do dating.” I turned and left before she could demand the explanation written all over her face.
“W-what? Sir? Where are you going? What about the food—Zioh!”
I was already at the lift, jabbing the button, foot tapping as if the bloody thing was taking an eternity to arrive. My chest heaved—Andi mentioned a damn navy shirt, and the restaurant.
I clenched my fists. The lift finally arrived, crawling down to the car park. I stormed into my car, started the engine, and sped off towards the restaurant.
The same one where she and I had first met again. The one where we’d had lunch. The one where she’d cried.
This wasn’t an emergency. But my body reacted as though I’d heard news of a death. The message I caught a glimpse of when she set her phone down on the table kept replaying in my head. And it sounded like a date.
Within minutes, I arrived. I parked in front of the restaurant and sat inside my car for a while, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel as my blood started boiling.
“What the fuck am I doing here…” I muttered, bowing my head. “I shouldn’t be like this…” My jaw tightened. “Shouldn’t even be here.” Shouldn’t be.
My eyes kept darting back to the restaurant, and each time the storm inside me raged harder. I closed my eyes, drew a long breath, and tried to calm the tempest within.
“As always, you’ve got a spell on me, Sop—Tshabina.” I paused, staring again at the restaurant. “And that’s one of the reasons I’ve never been able to hold on to my hatred for you.”
Because I wasn’t supposed to be here.
Yet I climbed out, my strides hard, deliberate, carrying me straight to the entrance. I hated how easily she could tug the hidden string within me and pull me towards her, when I didn’t even know it was there. I hated you for this.
You made me sick. You were a mistake.
Inside the restaurant, my eyes swept the room, scanning, studying. I didn’t know what I was looking for, maybe something that could calm the heat that scorched me, leaving my brain and everything around it in harmony and at ease. I was not so sure.
Calm down. I shook my head and clenched my fists tighter, forcing myself to breathe.
And then, I saw her.
Even across the restaurant, crowded as it was, I spotted her right away. Table thirty, at the edge.
No matter where she was, I would always find her.
My eyes, it seemed, were made for her.
But then, my muscles tensed, and a heat ran through my veins because she wasn’t alone.
Across from her sat a man in a navy-blue shirt, with black hair, laughing with her over lunch.
I swallowed hard and loosened my tie.
A bitter heat surged through my throat, thick and suffocating, until I could barely breathe. I tried to manage it and contain it, but it only grew stronger, threatening to consume me whole.
Or perhaps it already had.
Tshabina on a date? At lunch? During work hours? How pathetic.
The air grew thick, and everything roared louder than I could—fuck!
“Bloody hell…” I growled under my breath.
A waitress passed with a tray of drinks, and I snatched the darkest red one without thinking, ignoring the waitress’s startled expression.
My feet carried me forward, closer, closer, until I was at their table.
Just smashed it on his head, let it out, it’d be better if it came out—
I poured the drink over him.
The man leapt up with a curse, chair screeching back. In seconds, his pale skin and navy shirt were stained a deep, wet red.
Like blood.
I froze. My breath came heavy. I swallowed hard, forcing down the heat and nausea twisting inside me until my eyes met his furious glare.
Guess what, arsehole? I had survived worse than any furious glare you could radiate.
“What the—” he snapped, glaring at me. “What are you doing—”
“My apologies.” My voice was calm. Far fucking calmer than I felt. I stared him down. “My hand slipped.”
My gaze flicked past him to Tshabina. She stared at me, her face paling and eyes widening in shock.
I spoke again, but I only looked at her.
“I’ve been using my hands a lot lately.” My tone was low.
“Drawing, shading. erasing.” I rolled my wrist, locked Tshabina’s eyes with mine, until she swallowed, “and something else.”
Turning back to the man, he looked at Tshabina and at me, lost. “I’m sorry. No intention behind it at all,” I added, and the man looked at me with his piercing eyes, his fists clenched.