Chapter 22
Zioh
I tugged my collar, hoping more air could reach my lungs, which had felt out of my reach ever since the journey here.
“Where’s Tshabina?” Dad asked when the four of us entered the restaurant’s private room.
When we’d arrived a few minutes earlier, Tshabina had slipped out of Zeraiah’s car, saying she needed to use the restroom. Several minutes later, she still hadn’t returned.
“She’s going to the toilet, sir,” Tsabinu replied with a polite tone, while his eyes kept darting toward the door. He sat down across from Dad, and Zeraiah followed, sitting beside Tsabinu instead of obeying our dad’s gesture to sit next to him.
I couldn’t bring myself to sit down. The glimmer of tears beneath Tshabina’s sunglasses continued to circle my mind. Blowing out a rough breath, I turned on my heel, leaving the room. “I need to go to the toilet,” I muttered as I walked away.
On my way there, my hand slipped into my pocket. I brushed the fabric inside and drew it out. The unease clawed deeper. My nerves shook with a violent need to move.
The corridor narrowed as I approached the single-stall toilet, and a sign overhead marked it as the ladies’ room. Before I touched the door, I stopped, steadying my breath. The inside of my skull roared, buzzing with everything that had happened.
Seeing Tshabina with that man.
Seeing Dad with Zeraiah. The ride here.
Her tears. Her anger at me.
My chest burned as I pressed my fist against it, shaking my head. What was Dad scheming now? What else did he want to talk about, especially bringing Tshabina along? My eyes scanned the room, searching for something, though I wasn’t sure what.
He was planning something, because he’d always been like that, to me, “and to us.”
My breath came quicker. Cold sweat soaked through my shirt. Calm down, breathe, and count. I was so sure there was something.
Drawing in a long breath, I clenched my fists. People, food, drinks, tables, chairs—one, two, three, four—I held it. One, two, three, four—I tried to let out a deep exhale, but it trembled as it left my lips. He was planning something. They always were. Even back then, it was the same.
One, two, three, four. Smooth, fuzzy, a little rough—breathe in. Voices in the distance, people chatting. A cry—
I narrowed my eyes, my hand reaching for the door—until a sound stopped me cold. The muffled sobbing, the hitch of broken breaths, and the steady rush of running water.
I cracked the door open. A woman stood before the mirror, shoulders trembling as she splashed water over her face. I swallowed a lump in my throat. It was Sophie.
My body went still, and my breath quickened as my gaze sharpened.
She had no right. She was the one who destroyed me, betrayed me.
“How is it even possible for you to do this?!” I clutched my head with shaking hands as pieces of memory drifted across my mind.
It was all because of her. “No!! Please!!” The screams from the past were loud and piercing in my head, making my throat feel tight. “Zioh! Zi- Zioh… w-what h-happened!”
Because of her.
I shook my head, harder this time.
All the memories, dark and lethal, flashed from ten years ago, filling my chest with poison, stuffing my head and ears.
Blood throbbed against my forehead, and a sour taste began to fill my mouth. My eyes locked on her reflection.
You whore. Slag.
I squeezed my fist even harder.
Shameless.
I felt cold and… dark.
I pushed the door open wider. There she stood, those damn swollen eyes of hers staring at me in shock. She staggered backwards, her hazel eyes wide with fear. Fuck you. Looking into those hazel eyes made my skin crawl.
Her figure darkened before my eyes, and my hands itched to reach for her. I wanted to make her feel what I felt. I locked the door behind me and advanced, step by deliberate step, as she stiffly retreated.
After everything she’d done to me, to us—
She cried?!
Drops of sweat began to trail down my body. Something was burning inside me, a fire that demanded to be let out.
“Z–Zioh?” she stammered, nervous, her back pressed against the wall as I loomed closer, carrying all my darkness in me.
“You know?” I lowered my face towards her, my voice rasping deep, venom dripping from every word. Whore. Traitor. I closed the distance between us. “You’re such a fucking selfish person, Sophie.” Her hazel eyes widened, trembling under my shadow.
Good.
I’d ensure you understood.
Her body quivered, her gaze shook.
I leaned closer, her breath hot against my face. “You cried?” I sneered. My eyes cut into hers, watching fresh tears pool again.
“Tsk.” A bitter laugh slipped out of me. My fingers faltered, and in a heartbeat, the handkerchief tumbled from my grasp, landing silently between us.
I stared at her, silent but burning, watching her crumble beneath me. My hand shot up, pointing straight at the cursed face. “You caused all this mess,” I pressed, my voice thick with bitterness. “And you’re the one crying now?”
Something snapped inside me, everything sharp, unforgiving. I jabbed my finger at her again, shaking my head as my breath came in ragged bursts. “You don’t deserve to cry, Sophie,” I hissed. “You don’t fucking know how our lives were ruined because of you!”
She broke. Sobs tore out of her chest, her body stiffening. The tears spilt, running down those hazel eyes I once wanted to look at every day. She bit her lip hard, trembling all over.
Pressing harder, I showed her the full weight, built up over years, everything shaped by her. “You’re a lie,” I spat, shaking my head. “You and our memories are a fucking lie.” A stinging heat seared my eyes, and warmth spilt down my cheeks.
Her sobs grew louder, sharper, and more painful, drilling into my ears, making the noise unbearable. So noisy.
Then her eyes snapped into mine. “I’m not the one who left!
” she snapped, her voice raw, trembling with pain.
“I’m not the one who ran away without a word like a damn coward!
” Her tears streamed harder, her cry torn with anguish.
“It’s not fair! After all you’ve done, you blame me? !” she screamed, hoarse, right into me.
Of course, it was your fault.
You were the one who ruined everything, Sophie!
My heart hammered harder, my breath ragged.
Fuck. A sudden, mad urge to laugh bubbled up in my chest. My hand, clenched so tight, shot up and gripped her chin, forcing her face towards mine.
“You know what’s not fair?” I retorted. “After everything you’ve done, Sophie, we’re the ones ruined. ” My voice cracked. “Only us.”
My grip tightened, trembling. “You still have your life, your friends, your career, and you still have a damn family.” I pressed the words like a blade.
“Walking around with that smile plastered on your face.” My teeth ground with rage.
“But us, ten fucking years later, we’re still living in hell.
I’m still living in hell.” The memories resurfaced, noisy, choking, burning.
“You live a happy life, and you’re doing fine.
But we, we’re never free from that darkness. ”
How could you do that to us?
My fingers dug harder into her chin, my hand trembling with the pressure. “So don’t you dare play the victim here,” I rasped, my voice harsh and cold. “You are a mistake. You never should’ve existed. Something that should’ve been erased!” I snapped, voice shaking with everything I’d held back.
She jolted, yanking my hand from her chin.
Her trembling body shoved me back, and through her tears, her hazel eyes blazed with fury.
A second later, a hot sting exploded across my cheek as she slapped me hard.
“Yeah, right.” Her sobs cracked her words.
“You’re an asshole, Zi,” she spat, voice raw and broken, before bolting past me and out of the toilet.
Her cries echoed down the corridor, fading and fading, until they vanished.
I looked down, letting my tears fall freely. My gaze dropped to the floor, as if staring at my life that had long been broken and ruined. “Because if you’d never come… my mum would still be here.”
? ── * ── ?
I parked my car as I arrived at the residence. The dashboard clock read five in the evening. I realised I’d been in the car for almost an hour, aimlessly driving, not knowing where the road had taken me.
My chest felt lighter, yet plagued by a strange sensation as if something vital had been carved out of me.
I wanted to be alone. To disappear. To climb into my dark room and shut the world out for as long as I could.
Everything in me felt like a rage room. After the release, I was left with nothing but devastation, and I didn’t know how to clean it up.
I feared the day my father’s words would finally ring true. Wasn’t everything true? I let out a long breath, trying to claw back some strength.
Weakly, I lifted my gaze towards the residence. Towards the lift tucked into the corner of the car park, and that was when it caught my eye.
A car was parked beside it.
It was unfamiliar but not entirely. I recognised the brand because someone I knew had been obsessed with it. Rolls-Royce La Rose Noire Droptail stuck out like a sore thumb, and I had a bad feeling.
Dragging myself out of my car, I held the door for balance. Fuck. My steps to the lift were slow and heavy, and I pressed the button for the third floor.
The doors opened to noise—voices, footsteps, suitcases being wheeled through the hall, and the damn pressure built in my chest.
What now?
The room moved in a blur around me, but I remained static. And when housemaids moved back and forth, lugging bags down a hallway next to my room, a realisation jolted me.
That hallway was…
“Hey.”