Chapter 24
Tshabina
“Merry Christmas!” we all cheered with unfiltered excitement. This year’s Christmas was held at Danudara’s home because it was their turn to host the open house. It had become our tradition to take turns every year, gathering as one family to celebrate.
The four of us—Zioh, Zeraiah, Tsabinu, and I—were lounging in the family room, busy unwrapping the gifts lined neatly under the Christmas tree.
Zeraiah and I were the most eager, the first to wake up and dive straight for the presents.
We weren’t children anymore; we knew that.
We were teenagers. But we decided some things deserved to stay forever.
Tsabinu joined after feeding Yellow in the side yard, while Zioh came after finishing some of his usual tasks. Lately, he and Tsabinu had been working on something together—an online internship. I never quite understood, but they seemed to spend more time buried in it.
“A present from Mum and Dad,” Zioh announced, holding out a gift wrapped in pink paper for me.
He gave me the soft smile of his and sat down beside me.
This morning, he looked so sweet in his plain black tee and shorts.
Well, he always looked lovely to me, but again, there were dark circles beneath his eyes.
He looked tired, and I studied him before he stroked my hair, and I glanced away.
“And… here’s a bonus,” he said, offering me another box. “From Dad as an apology for not being here. Again.”
Nodding, I stared at the gift for a moment. Did an apology require a gift? I turned back to him. “Is Uncle Bakti really that busy, Zi?” I asked.
Zioh nodded, still smiling, before lowering his hand to stroke my cheek this time. Then his gaze shifted around. “Your mum’s got a performance, hasn’t she? Why didn’t your dad come along?”
I nodded and glanced towards the side yard, where Dad grilled meat while laughing at Yellow. Beside him, Mama Nadine was arranging drinks and snacks. I turned back to Zioh. “Mum said we could borrow him. She feels bad because we’ve been staying here so much, like we’re always troubling Mama—”
“Who said you’re troubling us?” Mama Nadine cut me off. She was suddenly right beside us, offering mugs of hot chocolate. We both reached out gratefully.
Her eyes lingered on me for a moment, and her hand smoothed down my hair. “I’m happy you and Bibu are here, sweetheart,” she said with a radiant smile that spread to others. I couldn’t help smiling back, and she kissed my head. “My beautiful girl,” she whispered, tapping my nose.
“Thank you, Mama Nadine,” I said.
She nodded. “You’re welcome, darling.”
Mama Nadine brushed her hands together before standing up.
“Open the presents, then eat and get ready, alright? We’ll have the service soon.
” Her tone shifted, firmer this time, as her gaze swept across the four of us.
Zioh, Tsabinu, and I nodded, unlike Zeraiah, who remained completely absorbed with his mountain of gifts.
Mama Nadine sighed, narrowing her eyes. “Zer,” she called out.
Zeraiah glanced up. “Aye aye, captain,” he replied, before diving back into his pile.
Mama Nadine shook her head with a small smile and walked back towards the side yard.
The three of us returned to our presents, except Zioh. He sat there, sipping his hot chocolate, and his eyes fixed on me.
I kept catching him watching me in certain moments. I was used to it now, and I didn’t mind it at all; in fact, I sometimes caught myself doing the same.
He sat in silence while his gaze moved between my face and my hands as I tore open the wrapping paper. My heart grew restless under the weight of his silence until I finally turned to him.
“Zioh, how old were you when you discovered Santa wasn’t real?” I asked. I didn’t know why, I just needed to break the tension.
Talking to Zioh felt fun, so I always chatted with him about One Direction, Harry Potter, or my annoying math teacher. I always felt safe talking about anything because he listened, responded, and nodded along while I spoke.
He looked at me, reaching out to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I always knew,” his voice brushed against me like calm water. His smile widened. “Mas Zaeem told me when I was little that Mum and Dad were sneaking the presents under the tree. Must’ve been when I was about seven.”
My eyes widened. “Seriously? So I was fooled until I was eleven just because I didn’t have a decent older brother?
” I glared at Bibu, who sat beside him, and of course, he only gave me his faint smile.
I huffed, turning my complaint back at Zioh.
“I swear, Mas Bibu knew ages ago, but he kept quiet,” I grumbled.
The three of them burst out laughing. “It’s because you were too adorable whenever you went on about Santa,” Zioh teased, caressing my cheek with the back of his fingers.
They always treated me like a baby.
But we weren’t children anymore.
I was fifteen! So were Tsabinu and Zeraiah. Yet I was the only one still being babied.
I sighed long enough for him to notice, and I ignored their teasing. “Huh… it’s still sad, tho, knowing Santa’s not real,” I muttered because it was sad! The day I found out four years ago, it felt like one of the cruellest lies ever.
“I can be your Santa if you like,” Zioh’s gentle voice greeted my ears. His hand was still on my cheek, drawing me back to him.
He locked eyes with me, “I want to be your Santa,” he said, this time in a whisper, leaning closer.
Raising an eyebrow, I stared back into his deep eyes. “Really?”
“Really.”
I studied him for a long moment before murmuring, “Hmm… so if I’m good all year, I’ll get a present?”
He shifted closer, adjusting himself so we were properly face-to-face, his hand closing around mine. “Well, that’s the difference,” he said, his smile lingering. “The world’s Santa only gives presents if you’ve been good. But my version… doesn’t need a reason to give you a present.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re present-able.”
Huh?
He held my gaze as he leaned in, his whisper brushing my ear. “And this Santa…” He pointed to himself, then to me. “Only yours. Only for you.”
“Only for me?”
He gave me a firm nod. “Only for you.”
A wide and unstoppable smile broke across my face. My heart pounded, and warmth bloomed inside me like sunlight.
I melted under his gaze, and we shared smiles. My heart brimmed until a scoffing sound broke the moment.
I turned to find Zeraiah rolling his eyes, muttering something under his breath, while Tsabinu only smiled at us.
Zioh’s hand tightened around mine, drawing my attention back. “So… for the next Christmas present,” he said, “what do you want, Sophie?”
Smiling so wide, I tapped my finger against my bottom lip as I thought. There was something I’d wanted for years now, though part of me hesitated to say it aloud. I looked at him, needing to be sure. “Anything?”
“Anything,” he nodded. “Whatever you want most.”
I grinned, my heart beating faster. “I wanna see snow! I wanna touch snow!” I burst out with excitement. “I’ve never seen it before, and I want to feel what it’s like, build a snowman with it—that’s my dream! And I want to enjoy it… with you. Us. Together.”
Every Christmas film with snow made me long for it even more. I imagined sipping hot chocolate in the cold, where it would taste a thousand times better. I remembered the photos of Zioh and Zeraiah smiling as they skated or skied on snowy hills, and I wanted that so badly.
Zioh’s smile softened, and he gave me a firm nod. “Alright then. I’ll take you there, and you can do whatever you like with the snow, for as long as you want.”
A gentle heat spread from my toes, creeping through my entire body. My smile grew so wide it almost hurt, and my stomach fluttered with butterflies. Zioh was a hero. I didn’t know how, but his words were spells that would one day come true.
I remembered how I had once told him how much I’d wanted to know what it felt like to walk through a park with autumn leaves falling over my head, but Indonesia didn’t have an autumn, so it had always felt impossible.
But Zioh had shaken his head and said something like, “It’s not impossible at all, Sophie.
” I had laughed, thinking he was just trying to make me feel better.
Until that Sunday.
I’d run to his house to find him after church. And the moment I stepped into the park beside his house, something dry and light suddenly dropped onto my head.
Dry leaves were raining down on me.
I froze for a second before bursting into laughter.
They were sooo preeeettyy. Bright red, shaped like little starfish, long golden-brown streaks, and dark, crunchy leaves crackled under my shoes.
I had never seen leaves like those in my life!
I jumped around, spinning, trying to catch them midair. And when I looked up, there he was.
Zioh had been standing on the balcony, smiling so wide while tossing handfuls of leaves over my head.
Our laughter filled the air until Zeraiah came out wearing a scrunched-up face in confusion.
He looked up at Zioh and said, “So this is why you were collecting dry leaves in London last month, like a desperate bird building a nest? For this?”
Zioh was a hero full of magic.
Overwhelmed with joy, I threw my arms around him, hugging him as much as I could. A soft laugh escaped him, and he hugged me back. Pulling away, I held onto his shoulders and looked straight into his beautiful eyes.
“Pinky promise?” I said with excitement, holding out my little finger.
He stroked my cheek before hooking his pinky with mine. “Pinky promise,” he whispered.
I hugged him again, and Zioh returned my embrace with equal intensity. Being with him felt like I was home. It felt as if a thick cotton blanket was wrapping me up.
I pulled back, my cheeks burning, and leaned in to kiss his cheek.
“Thanks, Zi,” I whispered, my cheeks warming, and I returned to the pile of presents before me, trying to hide the heat flooding my face.
Afraid of his expression, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, so I focused on tearing into more wrapping paper.
Suddenly, one of the presents made me shriek in delight. My squeal filled the room as I held the gift high above my head. “Look! Uncle Bakti got me a new One Direction album!”
Leaping up, I searched for Dad to show him.
“Wait, that’s not fair!” Zeraiah cried, glaring at me.
“We only got one gift from Mum and Dad, but Dad gave Tshabina another? She’s got two!
” His voice rose in protest before he shook his head in disbelief.
“No—she’s got loads!” He jabbed a finger towards the stack of pink-wrapped presents beside me, then bolted towards the garden. “Wait, Mum!!!”
I laughed, running after him towards Dad at the grill. Our eternal sibling rivalry was in full swing, and we left Zioh and Tsabinu behind, who were clearly uninterested in joining our battle.