Chapter 33
Zioh
The day after Sophie and Tsabinu’s arrival, we finally went to one of the places Sophie had most looked forward to—Hyde Park Winter Wonderland. She’d kept saying she wanted to go ice skating there.
Long before her departure, I’d asked her to list everything she wanted to do while in the UK. Among the top items were learning to ice skate and visiting Winter Wonderland.
I watched her getting ready with Mum, and she looked utterly adorable. She wore a warm hat, gloves, and a thick rose-pink coat, a gift from Dad. When Sophie couldn’t stop herself from gushing about skating and going to the UK, Dad bought new coats for all four of us.
Her rose-pink coat framed her perfectly, highlighting the flush of her round cheeks in the biting cold. My heart raced. I was rooted to the spot, captivated by her.
“Not fair!” Zeraiah’s loud grumble snapped me out of my thoughts. Even Tsabinu, who was busy with his gloves, glanced up. The three of us stood to the side, waiting for Sophie to finish getting ready.
I sighed. Here we go again, another damn battle.
“Dad gave Biba special ones!” he complained, pointing at Sophie and Mum.
“Look! She’s the only one in pink, while the three of us—” His gaze darted to each of us in turn—“Black! And we look like clones! It’s embarrassing! I don’t like matching stuff!”
I rolled my eyes. “So what? You wanted the dark pink one?” I shot back. Zeraiah was always jealous of the most minor things, and it grated on me.
He pulled a face. “Tsk, as if! Dad gave Biba two new coats! One in light blue, Frozen, blah blah themed, and that!” He pointed at Sophie again and glared at me. “Obviously, I’ve got a damn right to complain!”
I sighed and straightened up, walking a few steps forward. “Spoiled brat,” I muttered under my breath.
Apparently, he heard me. “What I mean is, I don’t wanna look like damn bloody twins with you!” he barked. “We look more like fucking triplets than Biba and Bibu ever do!”
“Zeraiah. Language.” Mum’s sharp tone cut across the air. She always had an ear for these things.
Zeraiah huffed, glaring first at me, then nudging Tsabinu. “You’re on my side, right, Highness?”
Tsabinu, calm as ever, finally looked up. His face was flat. “If you say so.” Then he went back to fastening his gloves.
I chuckled under my breath, especially at Zeraiah’s frustrated glare. “This is why I prefer Biba!” he shouted, storming off. “Biba will always have my back! Not like you lot, you bloody blokes!”
I shook my head and went to join Sophie and Mum, who were already heading towards the rink. Sophie stood with a hesitant face at the entrance, wobbling a little on her skates. Her hazel eyes trembled as she glanced at me.
Slipping to her side, I gripped her arm. “Come on,” I whispered, steadying her. “I’ll hold you.”
Her eyes darted up to me, frightened. “What if I fall?”
I tightened my grip, gazing into her eyes with certainty. “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” I reassured her, because I meant my words. “I won’t let you fall.” I brushed her arm. “You said you wanted to learn ice skating, right?”
She nodded, fear giving way to determination. I bent close, murmuring in her ear. “Well, aren’t you lucky? Your private tutor is an expert in this field, too.” I curved a smile at her. “And he’ll teach it, only for you.”
Her eyes widened. “Only for me?”
“Only for you.”
Her smile bloomed, and her eyes sparkled, which made me so addicted. She gripped my hand back, her fears dissolving, whispering. “Don’t let me fall.”
I caressed her cheek. “Never.”
We stepped onto the rink, hand in hand.
She stumbled and sulked for the first few minutes, her lips jutting in the cutest pout. I couldn’t help but laugh. She glared at me, her cheeks puffed, and I stroked those warm cheeks, soothing her. “It’s all part of learning, Sophie. You’ll get there.”
She muttered. “You’re good at it.” She is so precious.
I smiled, shrugging. “I’ve just had more practice.”
Of course, Zeraiah zipped past us, laughing and throwing taunts at Sophie, which deepened her frustrated expression. Tsabinu, further ahead, was already skating smoothly, without support. Sophie huffed and furrowed her brows even more.
“Come on, slowly,” I coaxed her. “I’ll hold you.”
Suddenly, she tried to glide further forward and wiggled my hand in hers. “I think I can do it,” she tried to sound confident. “Can you let go of me?”
I shook my head. “There’s no need to be competitive,” I said firmly. “It’s not a race.” I caught her arm again and pulled her closer to me. “Just go slowly, Sophie.”
But stubborn as ever, she pulled free, determined to prove herself. “Wait—” My shoulders stiffened, and my heart thudded against my ribs the second her warmth vanished. I followed her every movement and put my hands on her sides, but she managed to stand upright without my help.
She looked up at me, triumphant. “See?!”
The happiness in her voice seemed to pull invisible strings, making my lips lift on their own. Her smile was so warm, I could feel it through my coat.
But then, someone bumped into her. She staggered and shrieked—yet I’d already caught her before she hit the ice. My arms locked around her waist and pulled her safe against me.
My heart leapt into a faster rhythm, and I scanned her body, from head to toes, searching for something. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realised she hadn’t hit the cold, hard floor beneath us. “Are you okay?” I asked in a rush.
She laughed—loud and bright—while still half-dangling in my hold. My shoulders dropped, and a long breath escaped me. I was upset, but her joy was infectious. I gently lowered her to the ice and collapsed beside her. We laughed so hard—as if we were laughing at what had just happened.
Our laughter suddenly stopped when snowflakes started to fall right above us. The flakes even gently greeted our faces. I turned to Sophie as she shrieked, joy bursting like sunlight. “Zi! Snow!!” Her happiness was like a beautiful melody to my ears.
I knew Sophie had been waiting for this moment so much. The sparkle in her eyes and the excitement in her voice as she kept talking about snow ignited a strong urge to keep promising her that I would bring her to see snow. And now, that promise was finally fulfilled.
My chest burned with fireworks. My stomach felt alive with a million butterflies. Because it was me, I was the one who brought her here. I was the one who created the sparkle in those hazel eyes and created that excited voice.
She turned to me, beaming. “My first snow, Zi! I finally see snow!”
I nodded, watching how she was in perfect harmony with the snow. As they fell around her, she looked like a painting, the perfect one, meant to be displayed only in my exhibition.
“Us,” I corrected, my heart thudding so fast for her. I locked my eyes with hers, trying to stop time, so I could see forever the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen sparkle. “Ours.”
I smiled, holding her hand, squeezing. “Our first snow together, Sophie.” My free hand reached out, brushing away the white flakes that had begun to gather across her face and hair.
This wasn’t my first snow. It wasn’t even the first snowfall in London this year. But today was different. Today was worth remembering. Because…
Today, at this moment, it was the first snowfall for me with my Sophie.
The first snow we saw and cherished together.
Her cheeks flushed pink, like carnations in bloom. She looked at me, her eyes burning with excitement. “After this, I want to try skiing!” she exclaimed.
I gently brushed her hair back, smiling at her. “One by one, you nearly fell back then, and that’s just ice skating.”
She giggled. “And I want to make a snowman too. I wanna build Olaf!”
I fell silent, watching her, letting my eyes convey everything I couldn’t say. I nodded. “Anything you want, Sophie,” I murmured. “We have all the time in the world.”
I knew I would give everything within me to make her countless dreams come true, for her dreams were mine too.
“We have all the time in the world,” she repeated after me.
For as long as we had time, I would bring those dreams to life, to our memories—one by one.
? ── * ── ?
I stood outside the skating rink an hour later, watching Zeraiah and Sophie laughing together. A few minutes earlier, Zeraiah had snatched her away again. When I was about to have a moment with Sophie, he would barge in and shrink it down.
But on the other hand, I was grateful for their bond and for the way she let him be completely himself.
I knew my little brother often chose to confide in her more than anyone else—not me, not Zaeem, not even Mum.
Zeraiah always said that Sophie wasn’t someone who complained a lot, not someone who judged or compared, and he liked that about her.
Tsabinu appeared beside me, his skates off, and he stood watching his sister with my brother. I turned to look at Sophie and Zeraiah again, but suddenly, right in front of me, a long-haired woman wearing a denim jacket was skating, and a man laughed as he held onto her from the side.
I went still. I looked at them for a long moment, and I sighed. Something stirred in my mind, something that made me wake up at night, drenched in sweat, gasping.
Especially when I saw him again a while ago.
Because the truth was…
Everything I’d felt, everything I’d seen… was real.
My heart slammed against my ribs. Sweat slid down from my neck.
There was one thing I desperately wanted to tell Tsabinu. Something I had carried for years, locked away, because honestly, I doubted myself. It felt as if a parasite built its nest in my head.
I couldn’t tell anyone, not because I didn’t trust them. But because my head was full of dark whispers, and my heart felt as though it were going to give out whenever I tried.
But with Tsabinu, the words came easy. There was a rare safety in him, as if I could spill every secret I’d ever kept.
Maybe because he was like another version of me, different, but similar in specific ways.
Though younger, his maturity was calming, as if there was another, steadier part of me that I could lean on at any moment.
“Bibu…” I called with a shaky voice.
Tsabinu, who had been watching Sophie and Zeraiah, turned to me. His slow, calm glance made my chest tighten. I licked my lips and clenched my fists inside the deep pockets of my coat.
“I think… something’s wrong with Dad lately.” In truth, it had been going for years—I just hadn’t been sane enough to admit it to myself. I shook my head. Tsabinu stayed silent, his eyes fixed on me, waiting for me to continue.
My voice came out hoarse. “A few days ago, I saw Dad chatting with someone,” I said. “He looked… so happy.”
My gaze dropped to my feet, bounced against the ground.
“Then… last week, before I left, at the airport, Dad excused himself to the loo.” I licked my lips again, shaking my head.
“But he took so long, so I went looking for him.” I swallowed hard, forcing down the lump in my throat.
I blew out a heavy breath. “And you know what?” My eyes met Tsabinu’s again, sharper now, trembling. “I-I saw him… w-with a young girl.”
The words slipped out like a long-buried curse, as though uttering them would condemn my life forever.
I paused, scanning around us to ensure no one else could hear. My heart hammered. It felt as though something was stealing the air I drew in because it wasn’t reaching my lungs.
Cold sweat pricked down my back.
“She looked like she had just arrived. She was carrying a suitcase.” I looked at my best friend with eyes burning with a sharp sting. “They went into a restaurant together…” My voice dropped lower, my chest so tight it ached.
“I followed them, Bib. I peeked inside, and… my d-dad looked so—” I shook my head, unease flooding me. So messed up. “I don’t know, but he looked like he adored her so much.”
A stabbing cold coursed through me. My words turned into a great stone that pressed me down because my legs were on the verge of crumbling beneath me. “I couldn’t see her face clearly.” I shook my head over and over. “I only noticed… she looked young. Long black hair, and she wore a denim jacket…”
Even though we were in an open space, I was trapped in a small box, water rising to my mouth. The cold started to bite into the bone. “Dad paid for their meal… and… h-he k-kissed her, Tsabinu.”
My heart almost stopped.
It felt like the ground beneath me cracked open and devoured me whole because everything was real. My voice trembled with the truth. “Many times. On her cheeks.” I gulped. “On h-her head.”
Tsabinu swallowed hard, his body trembling just like mine. Our eyes locked, both of us breath quickened. My unrest seeped into him, as if he could feel my fear and brokenness.
I dragged my hands down my face. “I don’t want to think the worst, but…” My legs shifted, shaking. Crazy. “I-I think there are only two possibilities.” Or maybe not possibilities.
Tsabinu didn’t interrupt, standing frozen, listening patiently.
I could hear my heart racing in my ears, and I never felt so dead inside as I did when these words came out of my mouth.
“Either she’s his secret daughter, or…” My whole body shook, fists clenching tighter.
Cheating. I whispered, the words nearly lost before they reached him. “Dad is having an affair.”
My throat was tight as I blinked back tears, as I tried figuring out how this was happening.
We stared at one another, our eyes quivering, thinking what neither wanted to admit. Every suspicion, every dark possibility filled my head, gnawed at me. Until now, I had carried this secret alone. Now, one more person knew: Tsabinu.
I couldn’t forgive myself for being such a coward, hiding it from both my siblings, Sophie, and, worst of all, from my mum. It was all your fault. But… I had to know the truth first. You already knew, you just denied it with your craziness.
Because if it were true... If my crazy suspicions were true, this was all definitely true.
How could I ever tell my mum?
Mum loved him so much.
I couldn’t bear it.