Chapter 48
Tshabina
Driving us further away, I put as much distance as possible between his house and the chaos we’d left behind.
I pulled Zioh into his car and drove around Jakarta’s streets with no destination in mind. My eyes darted to him, but he sat like a statue, eyes blank as he stared straight ahead.
I had no idea where to go. Neither of us had spoken a word, and my thoughts scattered in every direction.
Cindy was a shadow of old rumors, a name linked to Zioh years ago. But after what I’d seen—the way they all acted around her, the bracelet on her wrist—I knew something had happened.
I wanted to ask Zioh to tell me. But every time I turned, I found his empty stare, as though the real Zioh wasn’t there anymore, leaving just a hollow shell in his place.
My heart pounded in a way that didn’t feel right, and heat stung my eyes. A quiet war raged inside me until I couldn’t tell which was stronger.
My fear for him, or the pain that was clawing back up in me.
I had seen her wearing something of ours. Heard her speak of the promises Zioh once had given me. I wanted to scream, to claw my way out of this pit of misery, but then I turned and met his eyes.
And in that moment, I knew… I couldn’t leave him.
I remembered how Zioh stayed by my side. When I was sick, when I was alone, he was willing to stay, to be there for me, to look after me, to take care of me.
Even when he sent me that text earlier—wasn’t that the reason I was still here? That his wreckage and his words from the past still meant something.
That my Zioh… was still there.
The silence finally broke when his hoarse voice cracked the air. “I don’t know, Tshabina,” he rasped.
I turned to him, but his eyes remained fixed forward. “I don’t know if it’s true,” he whispered, interlocking his fingers and squeezing them until his knuckles turned white.
His hollow eyes finally met mine, and the ache in my chest deepened a thousandfold. “What should I do?” His voice trembled, and he shook his head. “I… can’t… I…” Zioh paused. “I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake, Tshabina…”
What did that mean?
What happened to you, Zioh…?
I wanted to ask the question, but instead, I sat, forcing myself to calm down. Letting him speak, letting him lean on me. Even as my own tears slipped down my cheeks.
I am here. I never go anywhere, Zioh.
“Zi—”
He blinked, as if he needed a moment to gather himself before he went on. “I want to explain it to you,” his voice quivered. “I swear I do.”
His eyes wavered, and I wasn’t the only one crying. “I’m… I’m just so scared that I’ll hurt you again, baby.”
He swallowed hard, forcing the words out. “I’m terrified I’ll hurt you because of my fucked-up brain!” he shouted, striking his own head. Holding my breath, I released one hand from the wheel and reached out to him, clutching his hand in a tight grip.
“Zioh…” My tears carried the weight of my brokenness.
What should I do, Zioh?
My hand trembled as I clutched the wheel, fighting to steady my breath. “You know you can tell me anything, Zi,” I whispered, stealing glances at him, trying to soothe, to reassure. I’m here. “Remember what I told you at the penthouse a while ago—”
“No.” His head moved with a faint shake. “I… I… can’t…”
“Zioh—”
His eyes locked onto mine, tense, haunted. “You’ll never see me the same if you know.”
I shook my head. “What’s that supposed to mean—”
“Please… just trust me, baby.” His weak voice trembled, unsteady but pleading. “Wait for me a little longer. Please.” His whisper cracked, and his eyes held mine. “I’ll sort this out…”
I turned, meeting his gaze as I halted the car at a red light.
And I chose to trust. To wait. Again.
“I will, Zi,” I murmured, steadying him. “I told you I’ll wait, didn’t I?”
He gave me a faint nod.
The light turned green, and I drove us further away, but beside me, Zioh shifted, unable to stay still. I glanced, and he was staring at his phone. His AirPods were in, and his body was tense.
“Do you want to rest at the penthouse?” I asked.
Zioh looked at me, shook his head. His breath quickened. “Can you take me to a hotel?”
“Okay—”
“And I need you to stay with me.”
? ── * ── ?
I sat on the edge of the hotel bed, and my legs wouldn’t stay still.
I had brought Zioh to one of the hotels where Tsabinu and Zaeem frequently stayed for business because it was the only place I could think of.
The receptionist recognized Zioh after I showed her his ID, and she handed us a suite without question.
He’d gone into one of the rooms. As the hiss of the shower filled the hall, I gave him privacy, taking another of the four bedrooms.
My heart pounded as if I’d run for miles, and I bit my lip until it burned. My mind was crowded with voices crashing into one another, and it all hit me in one messy wave, stealing the strength I’d worked so hard to build.
I sighed. “What really happened…?”
Then, I remembered Tsabinu’s eyes. Even back in the car park, I knew he’d seen something. My brother sensed there was something between Zioh and me, and when I pulled Zioh away, his eyes pierced through us, sharp, demanding.
I exhaled hard. “I’ll have to talk to Mas Bibu after this…”
Silence filled the room, and I glanced at the door. No sound from outside. Was Zioh done showering? Maybe asleep?
No.
Was he alright?
I started towards the door, but my phone buzzed. As I opened it, three messages were already there, making me swallow hard.
Dad: Adek, I’ll be staying at a friend’s house again tonight. Tell your brother not to pick me up.
Mas Bibu: Where are you? Where did you go with Zioh? Share your location now, Tshabina.
+6289765: *photo*